A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! Here is my Valentine's-themed submission. Now, keep in mind that this is a fic within progress. I have not finished - there is still quite a bit to write but the whole thing is already outlined. It should have about three chapters or so. I usually don't post unfinished works but this is a small one, so hopefully all will be well...

I make no promises concerning updating pace. I have had surgery last Monday and everything is going as expected but I have like a million appointments set up. Plus, it's kind of annoying to write in the position I'm in (my bum leg must be propped up at all times, specifically so it's higher up than my heart) since it's hard to see my laptop keys.

Anyway, this fic is part of my 'Our World' universe.

So, without further ado, here's the chapter. (Apologies for any spelling mistakes - the editing was kind of rushed).

February 14 x795

The thing about being new parents was that alarm clocks became obsolete. Why would someone need a blaring alarm to wake them up when they instead had a much-loved blaring child to do so? True, alarm clocks tended to be more accurate when it came to rising hours and didn't, for instance, go off several times a night, roughly every three to four hours demanding nourishment. But still, the baby would always trump over an alarm clock. It was just natural law.

So, given the uselessness of alarm clocks these days, the surprise that washed over Erza Scarlet and Jellal Fernandes upon being awoken by one on a fine February morning was not fully out of place.

The offending item was, suspiciously, perched on the bedside table by Jellal's side of the bed even though he did not at recall setting it up anytime recently. In fact, he distinctively remembered shoving it into said bedside table's door almost two months before, on the day his son had been brought home for the first time, and leaving it there forgotten ever since. So, why, he asked himself, was the alarm clock ringing?

"Shut it down," he heard Erza mumbling sleepily from his side. "It will wake up the baby…"

"I'm surprised it hasn't already," he replied, reaching forward to turn the ringing object off. It was just as he was clicking the deactivation switch that he finally registered the time it was marking. "Erza?"

"What?" she replied drowsily.

"It's half past ten."

Silence. For a moment, that was all that was heard. Or rather, not heard.

"That's impossible," Erza declared.

"I know."

"We have a newborn. People with newborns don't sleep in until half past ten. It just cannot be done."

"I know."

"Did you feed him since he woke up at five in the morning?"

"No. Did you?"

"No. He didn't cry out for it."

Again, silence. Deadly silence. And then, without a preamble, the two of them were jumping out of the bed and rushing towards the crib on the corner of the room.

It was empty. Empty except for a note… with letters consisting of glued magazine cutouts.

"No," Erza spoke, her voice utterly filled with horror. "No, no, no, no, no! Where is he?!" And then, proceeded to run out of the room, desperately shouting their son's name (as if he knew how to answer to it).

Jellal, although equally terrified, at least managed to contain himself enough to pick up the note and actually read it.

"Dear Erza and Jellal,

If you are reading this letter, that means that you have likely just noticed that your little bundle of joy is gone. That's right. We kidnapped him.

…"

Jellal's eyes widened and his breath caught as his worst fears were confirmed. Somebody has taken his son. His tiny, helpless child was in an unknown person's hands being subjected to Mavis-knew what. His first instinct was to rip the letter to shreds and rush into hunting down the person who'd written it, same as Erza was bound to be planning. Logic did, however, prevail, as he refrained from doing so, given that, as of that moment, the letter itself was the only clue they had. So, hanging to sanity by a thread, he forced himself to keep still and finish reading the letter.

"…

Don't worry, though! You'll be able to get him back before the end of the day as long as you follow the instructions we have written at the bottom of this page. But first…"

Even though there was still text to be read on that paragraph, Jellal immediately skipped down the page until he found some magazine-cutout text that was actually arranged in bullet points.

"Before we actually get to the instructions, let us set up a few rules for things to go along as planned:

- No contacting the police – seriously, we'll give him back. Promise! We're not evil or anything;

- Dress up nicely – there's no reason for you to go through all this looking like lazy bums who just got out of bed;

- Have fun or the little brat will pay (with tickling, extra chubby-cheek-pinching, off-key lullabies and milk slightly less warm that he likes)!

…"

Jellal frowned. Wait, what?! That didn't sound threatening at all. In fact, it sounded kind of… joke-y? Was this some sort of prank? Full of questions, he looked further down the page in search for answers.

"…

As for the instructions, we will start with step one – Report to the 'Café Venus', located in the square in front of the train station, at noon for brunch. Reservations are under Jellal's name. DON'T BE LATE! We're on a schedule, for Mavis's sake!

The instructions for step two will be at the café, as well as other bits of information that may interest you. Subsequent steps will be revealed in the same manner.

Now, get ready for romance, lovebirds.

Happy Valentine's day!

Yours sincerely,

The FTAFTASL"

He blinked at the signature. The what now? What sort of ridiculously long, not to mention repetitive, acronym was that?! In fact, one thing in it did ring familiar – the repeated FT, one of which he was 99.999999% sure stood for 'Fairy Tail'. Because of course Fairy Tail was behind that letter and, by extension, his son's 'kidnapping (who other than a particularly crazy member of his own guild would assemble such a bizarrely-long ransom note using not only magazine cutouts, but also cutouts in tiny font from the pulp of an article rather than the headline-sized sort? And then, of all things, arrange sentences by bullet point?! That must have taken ages to put together!).

Suffice to say, by then most of his fears had been reduced to nothing… well almost nothing – his two-month-old (yet nearly a month premature) baby, who had never been away from either himself or Erza since birth, was still in unknown parts being overseen by a selection of insane (even if loving) people who had just scared years out of lifespan for what he was sure were very strange reasons and that was just a tiny bit unsettling.

He did notice, upon second read, that those years scared away from his life had been mostly his fault for skipping important parts of the letter – parts that made it clear that the baby was in no harm and reassured them about their ability to keep him safe while they were busy following the given instructions.

"If you have doubts concerning our babysitting skills, please refer to the recommendation letter you will find stapled to his note," it said. And it was only then that he did, indeed, unbelievably find a handwritten recommendation letter attached to the 'ransom note', penned by Bisca and co-signed by Alzack, assuring them that the FTAFTASL (Fairy Tail Association for the Absolutely Seriously Lunatic?) had 'kidnapped' little Asuka many times in the past and given her back in one piece, though not before putting them through, in Bisca's words, "really awesome dates. The kind of stuff you're just desperate for and don't even know it."

A date? They had gone through the trouble of kidnapping an infant and risk death at his mother's hands to make them have a date? That seemed a little… excessive. Thoughtful, yet still a little overboard. He still wasn't quite sure how to feel about it.

Folding the note, he placed it on the pocket of his pajamas before walking out of the room and dropping by the nursery in search for Erza. She wasn't in there but he did notice that the diaper pile seemed significantly smaller than it had been just a few hours before when he'd last changed his son. He walked further into the room and opened the closet, only to find several outfits, the spare blanket and the diaper bag gone. It seemed like the 'kidnappers' had thought to take everything they might need from the house.

Downstairs was a mess. It seemed like Erza had turned the place upside down in search for a misplaced baby and then rushed out the door to look outside, leaving it wide-open – a true testament to her desperation to find their son. Immediately, he made a beeline for the door as well and, after grabbing his winter coat from the hanger by the door and trading his bedroom slippers for outside shoes, stepped out after his fiancée, trailing around the house hoping she was still nearby.

By some miracle, she was. He found her near the kitchen door, kneeling next to it as she inspected the locks closely. She was already clad in purgatory armor, clearly ready to fight anything standing in the way to her son.

"What are you looking for?" he asked, mildly confused.

"Signs of breaking and entering," she replied. "The culprit must have gotten in somehow. They might have left clues behind when they did it."

"There is no need for that, Erza," he told her.

The redhead turned to him sharply, a look of hope on her face. "Why? Did you find him?!"

Jellal sighed. "No. But I'm sure he's just fine."

She frowned. "How can you be?! He's not here! Our baby is off somewhere with complete strangers who could be hurting him!"

"They're not hurting him, Erza," Jellal assured. "And they're not strangers either."

"What do you mean they are not strangers? Do you know who they are? Are they old enemies of ours? How can you know that?!"

Jellal sighed. "You never finished reading the note," he informed her, reaching into his pocket for it. "And no, they're not enemies either… unless you have enemies who are interested in providing free childcare, planning out dates for you and in close contact with Bisca."

"What?!"

"Just… read the whole thing. Don't skip anything," he prompted her, handing her the letter. "You will find this kidnapping is not nearly as sordid as it appeared to be."

She took it with a suspicious look on her face but didn't hesitate from reading it as instructed. Her feelings were completely transparent as she took in the words – they showed right on her face at every paragraph. First worry, the confusion, then realization, then relief, then disbelief… and so on.

"Valentine's day is today?" she asked, genuinely shocked.

"Apparently. I didn't notice it until I read it either. Honestly, I don't think I have taken the time to take a long look at a calendar since last year," Jellal confessed.

"I didn't get you any chocolate," Erza mumbled.

"You got me a son."

She shot him a look. "I've already used that excuse for Christmas."

"I wouldn't mind it if you used it again," he pointed out. "It's a pretty big gift."

"And now it's been snatched away," Erza said, sounding very, very annoyed about it. "Those idiots! You don't just… take somebody's child without asking. Even if that somebody is your friend. It's… it's rude! And wrong!

"And dangerous," Jellal added, seeing as she'd clearly been ready to skin the culprit alive.

"Exactly!"

"They did leave a note," he pointed out on their behalf.

She looked at him in disbelief. "This is kidnapping a baby, not borrowing a hammer!" she spat back. "And what do they know about looking after a baby?!"

"Bisca does mention they always brought Asuka back in perfect shape," Jellal argued, mostly for the sake of calming her down. He did have doubts of his own.

"Asuka was born in September! She would have been at least five months old by Valentine's Day. Caring for a five-month-old and a two-month-old is completely different! Especially when that two-month-old was born nearly a month early and is so small and fragile that he can't even hold his head up yet and what it they don't hold it up for him properly?! Oh god, I need to get my baby back right now!" she declared, actually walking past Jellal towards the path to town.

"Wait, where are you going?!" Jellal questioned. "You don't even know where he is!"

"I know Bisca is in on this! I'll get it out of her!" Erza replied as Jellal rushed to walk by her side.

"You are not planning to achieve that by beating her up, are you? Please remember that she is a mother."

"She was an outlaw before she was a mother – and my having to resort to extreme measures would depend on her cooperation," she stated.

Jellal just sighed in response, shaking his head as he followed her. Mavis… there was just no stopping that woman. She was like a hurricane in full-force, blowing away everything on her way.

They rushed along the familiar path into town and then, upon reaching it, turned left on the first street. The townhouse Bisca and Alzack lived in was right on the edge of town, not very big but considerably charming and family-like.

Without hesitation, Erza strode right up to the front door and rang the doorbell repeatedly, not stopping up until Bisca opened the door wearing an apron covered in colorful hearts and what seemed to be chocolate stains. When she saw the two of them at her doorstep, she just sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Why am I not surprised? I told them you'd freak out, letter or no letter," the green-haired woman mumbled.

"Where is my son?" Erza demanded.

"No idea," Bisca replied, getting unconvinced looks in return. "I don't! I am a mere outside contributor of all this. I may have provided the character reference as a former 'victim', but I was never actually part of the scheme. Or their group for that matter…"

"Why not?" Jellal asked curiously.

"Because, by the time they formed, I was no longer single."

Erza frowned. "What does your relationship status have to do with anything?"

"It's kind of a requirement to be part of their group," Bisca explained.

"The F… FTA-something…"

"Yeah, those long-ass initials. Anyway, you've got to be single to join in," the sharpshooter explained. "Why do you think they go through all the trouble of arranging for somebody else's dates on Valentine's Day? They don't have dates of their own, so they live vicariously through ours."

"That's… generous," Jellal commented.

"And a little sad too," Bisca admitted. "But hey, if they're up for it, who are we to judge…"

"Still, was it necessary for them to snatch our child while we slept?! Couldn't they have asked?" Erza demanded.

"Would you have handed the little guy over if they had?" the other woman questioned her.

"Mavis, no. He's too little!"

"Well, there you go, then. You're a mother hen and they knew they didn't stand a chance at asking for permission."

"But what do they know about handing babies? What if they feed him wrong and he chokes? Or if they don't change his diaper properly and he gets a rash? Or what if…?"

Bisca sighed. "You guys never left him with somebody else before, have you?" The two new parents shook their heads. "Of course… Well, then it seems like you're just going through a very common phenomenon called 'Baby Separation Anxiety'. Nearly every new parents goes through it and most of the time, it proves to be just worrying over nothing. Just calm down. I can assure you that at least one of the 'kidnappers' handles babies like a pro. She's had a lot of training in dealing with newborns lately."

Erza narrowed her eyes. "Mira?"

"Mira isn't single," Bisca pointed out. "And even if they were willing to make an exception for her, she's got two newborns of her own to handle. She doesn't have enough presence of mind these days to plan her own Valentine's Day, let alone somebody else's."

"Then who?!"

"Not telling," Bisca told her. "I've been in your shoes. I know if I give you any more clues, you'll chase them like a madwoman instead of just enjoying the opportunity like you should."

"What opportunity?!"

"The opportunity to spend an entire baby-free day just relaxing and reconnecting the romance with your man!" she stated, causing Jellal to blush.

"I do not need to relax!" Erza countered. "I am very relaxed!"

"The hell you are! Didn't you tell me the other day that you fell asleep in the shower?"

The redhead looked away. "I have no recollection of such a conversation."

"Yes, you do, you liar," Bisca accused. "You're new parents. You're stressed, you're sleep-deprived… you need a break and your friends were kind enough to give it to you. Now suck it up! Do you think you're doing any favors to your son by refusing to take a break? Babies are sensitive to certain emotions – if they feel like you're stressed, they'll feel stressed too and get upset. So, get your head out of your ass, take a break for the day and stop feeling guilty about it. Being away from your kid for half a day doesn't make you a bad parent."

By the time she was done with the lecture, Bisca saw it as Erza bit down on her trembling lower lip. She was the very poster for new-motherhood anxiety.

"But he's so tiny…"

The older woman sighed. "Look, let me put things like this: if you don't trust your 'babysitters' for their skills, at least trust that they're too damn afraid of you to even risk handing your son back with a single hair out of place. They'll handle him like a priceless relic."

That was… strangely reassuring, Erza considered.

"Mama!" Asuka's voice called as she ran down the hall towards her mother. "I finished sprinkling the tru… truf…"

"Truffles," Bisca provided.

"Truffles," the little girl repeated before turning to the visitors. "Hi!"

"Hi, Asuka/Hello," Erza and Jellal replied.

"Asuka, be a good girl and tell Erza and Jellal about your time with Kidnappers-chan," Bisca prompted.

"Kidnappers-chan?" Jellal mumbled, mildly disturbed.

"They're really fun! They played with me a lot!" Asuka said.

"Did they let you mess around with sharp things, talk to strangers or eat too much candy?"

Asuka shook her head, although she seemed a bit disappointed at the last part. "They said that if they didn't give me back exactly the way they had gotten me, you and Daddy would shoot them full of holes."

Satisfied, Bisca patted her head. "That's right," she said, turning to Erza. "Satisfied?"

At that, Erza and Jellal could only nod.

"Good. Now, go home, take a half-hour shower like you haven't been able to have in weeks, pretty yourselves up and do what the nice kidnappers tell you. The little guy won't hate you for it."

Erza only nodded while Jellal spoke. "We apologize for the intrusion."

"No need to apologize," Bisca replied. "I was in your shoes a few years ago. Now, if you don't mind, Asuka and I need to finish up the chocolate-making before Al gets back from the fool-errand we sent him on. We'll see you tomorrow or something. I want to hear all about this date!"

Asuka waved as her mother started to close the door. "Bye, bye! I'll say 'hi' to Boy Erza for you later!" she promised, using the nickname Natsu had coined for Erza's little son.

"His name is not Boy Er… wait." The door closed with a bang before Erza could say anything else. "I thought you said you didn't know where he was!" she shouted, hoping they'd hear her through the door.

Jellal cleared his throat. "To be fair, just because Asuka knows, doesn't mean Bisca does. She is pretty independent these days… and, now that I think of it, Asuka is single. She could be in cahoots with the FTA… something."

"She's too young to be part of kidnapping plots!"

"I've come to learn that nobody is too young for anything in Fairy Tail," Jellal pointed out.

When Erza didn't respond, he guessed she simply didn't have anything to say against that.

"So… about what Bisca said… what do you want to do?" he asked.

Erza bit down on her lip. "I… On one hand, I don't think I will be able to be completely carefree until I have our baby back in my arms… on the other one… I think she may have had a point about our stress not being good for him. He does always seem to get that much harder to handle when one of us is exhausted…"

Jellal nodded. "I don't know about you but with those extra few hours of sleep they grated us, I'm feeling better than I have in months. Maybe those guys do know a thing or two about how to handle exhausted new parents…"

"And Bisca did state that at least one of them was very well-versed with newborns…" Erza mumbled. And that half-hour shower she had suggested did feel tempting.

"True. Bisca wouldn't have vouched for them if they weren't trustworthy," Jellal admitted.

"It still feels somewhat wrong," Erza confessed.

"Yes. But it was only a matter of time before we had to leave him under somebody else's care," Jellal rationalized. "With jobs and everything…"

"What was the name of that café we were supposed to go for brunch at?"

"Café Aphrodite… no, Café Venus."

"Café Venus," Erza repeated. "It doesn't ring a bell."

"Must have opened recently. We haven't been very in touch with the local news recently. It sounds posh."

"It sounds delicious," Erza said, prompting Jellal to shoot her a questioning look. "Venus, Jellal. The goddess of love."

"Yes, I know. But how does that make you think 'delicious'?"

"Because, according to ancient mythology, Venus's sacred symbols was the strawberry!"

"Oh," he replied. "I didn't know that." Which was something worth saying, given that he knew a lot about mythology… "So, that… settles it?"

She nodded. "We will enjoy this Valentine's Day together. For the sake of our son."

"For his sake only," Jellal agreed.

To be continued...

A/N2: So, what do you think? Too crazy?