This is only the second fic I've ever tried to write for glee. I initially intended on it being a one-shot, but it got long and I figured I'd post part of it to get some feedback. Also, there is a use of some slurs for homosexuals, so if that will bother you, I'd advise you not to read this. (Also, I'm totally posting the next chapter tomorrow. I got my wisdom teeth out and have had plenty of time to write.)

fifth grade

When Kurt and Blaine were younger, falling asleep in the same bed means nothing. They would snuggle up together, leg to leg, and watch movies until they couldn't keep their eyes open, and if in the middle of the night one wrapped his arm around the other, it meant nothing because they were just children.

This changes when Kurt hits middle school. A year older than Blaine, Kurt is always one step ahead, and he always makes sure to tell Blaine every mistake he makes in each grade so that Blaine doesn't have the opportunity to make it himself. Of course, Blaine always makes other mistakes, but Kurt figures if he can save him from one, he's done his job. Now in fifth grade, Kurt is prepared to take notes for Blaine once again.

This year's first note is: Don't sleep in the same bed as another guy because that makes you a fag.

This is what Kurt is told by Azimio Adams, who went to Luckly Elementary School on the other side of town, when Kurt mentions a sleepover with Blaine in the yearly ice breaker.

"What's a fag?" Kurt asks.

Azimio stares blankly at him. Noah Puckerman, the other member of their group, rolls his eyes.

"Don't be such a dumbass, Hummel," he says, and Kurt wants to cry that Noah used a bad word, but he knows what Noah does to people who tattle, so he stays quiet. "A fag is a guy who likes other guys."

When Kurt only seems more confused, he continues.

"Like, a guy who wants to kiss another guy. It's gross."

For a brief second, Kurt considers kissing Blaine. It seems very nice. Then he remembers that being a fag is a bad thing.

"Ew. Why would anyone do that?" he says.

"Exactly," says Azimio firmly. "It's just unnatural."

Kurt decides to clear the air once and for all. "Besides, Blaine doesn't sleep in my bed because I want him to. Dad makes me."

"Well, tell your dad to fuck off," says Noah.

Kurt shrugs, and they move on. After Kurt gets off the bus, he goes straight to the phone to call Blaine, even though he's not supposed to use the phone before Dad gets home.

"Don't tell anyone that we sleep in the same bed at sleepovers," says Kurt when the phone is handed to Blaine.

"Why?" Blaine asks naively. Kurt doesn't want to tell him the whole truth, but he knows that this is what Blaine is going to be facing next year, so he does it anyway.

"Because people will think you're a fag. That you want to kiss other guys," says Kurt. "Guys aren't supposed to sleep in the same bed.

Blaine is silent for a moment. "So we can't do that anymore?" he asks quietly.

Kurt hesitates. "Nah, we can. We know we're not fags. We just won't tell anyone."

Blaine agrees, and everything is okay. No one knows that they still sleep in the same bed at sleepovers, and they get to enjoy their best friend time. And when Kurt hears the Andersons arguing from Blaine's room, he's especially glad they can still do this, because Blaine definitely needs his best friend support.

Middle school isn't as bad as Kurt thought it would be. He misses having Blaine around during recess, but he makes friends with two girls from Luckly—Tina and Mercedes—who have also become friends with Rachel Berry. Kurt is reluctant to associate with her first, because dear Lord is Rachel loud and obnoxious, but they all like musicals and show tunes, so it kind of works. It's better than being alone at recess, or playing with the other boys, who get sweaty and dirty. That's really not something Kurt wants to be involved in.

"Why do you always sit with girls?" Matt Rutherford asks as they line up to go back inside after one particularly sunny and hot day. Kurt isn't too inclined to stand so close to him right now.

"What do you mean?"

Matt shrugs. "Why don't you come play with us?"

"I like being with girls," says Kurt.

Matt smiles. "Can't blame you for that!"

It's only afterward that Kurt realizes what Matt meant.

sixth grade

Kurt's fifth grade deflection works for a while, and no one suspects anything about Blaine Anderson when he joins the ranks of the middle schoolers. But in Lima, Ohio, suspicions run high when someone doesn't quite fit in, and Kurt, with his high voice and strange manner of dressing, is a prime suspect.

"Hey, Hummel, are you a fag?" David Karofsky whispers one day while they're having quiet work time.

"No," Kurt hisses. "That's gross." This is now his standard response, even though sometimes Kurt really thinks that kissing a boy would be nice. He's only thought about a couple—Finn Hudson and Mike Chang—once or twice, only in passing. And of course he's thought about kissing Blaine. Blaine is Blaine. He's different. But Kurt doesn't mention this to anyone, and it doesn't mean a thing. He's not a fag.

"Then why do you talk like that?" Karofsky asks.

"Can't help my voice," Kurt replies, and it's okay, it's okay, only a little longer until his voice drops he's sure. There's still a few other kids like him. It's going to happen.

"Dress like that?"

"I like my clothes," says Kurt.

"You dress like a girl," says Karofsky, and, for once, Kurt is speechless. He can't exactly deny it—Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina all say they love his clothes. But so does Blaine.

Kurt likes that Blaine likes his clothes.

But Kurt shakes away those thoughts, and the next day, he's switched from scarves and button-ups to t-shirts and sneakers.

"Where are your clothes?" asks Tina at recess.

"These are my clothes," says Kurt.

Mercedes is concerned. "Why did you change the way you dress?"

"Because scarves are stupid," Kurt says.

Tina and Mercedes look offended, but Rachel's face lights up. "Can I have all yours then?" she asks.

Kurt agrees. When she comes over for a playdate on Friday, she leaves with a bunch of new clothes. Their parents are reluctant to allow this, but when Kurt insists that he will never wear anything like that again, it's permitted.

(It's only after this playdate that Kurt realizes that Rachel has two dads. Rachel has fag dads. They don't seem gross; they seem happy and in love. Kurt doesn't know how to feel about this.)

When Kurt goes over to Blaine's for their weekend sleepover, Blaine's face falls when he realizes what Kurt is wearing.

"I thought you were going to wear a bow tie," he says in the most pathetic voice ever. "We were going to trade bow ties."

"Oh," says Kurt because he'd forgotten about that. He hates to disappoint Blaine, but he knows that he can't wear bowties anymore. Still, he likes them on Blaine, so he says, "I don't like wearing them anymore. I'm going to give you all of mine."

He thinks that should make Blaine happy, but Blaine still has that strange look on his face. When Kurt tells his dad to bring the box with his bow ties in it, Burt doesn't question it this time. Kurt gives the box to Blaine and says, "They'll look good on you." Blaine jokes that he's just doubled his collection.

Still, Blaine keeps his box and Kurt's box separate, even though he wears ties from both.

Rachel decides to have a musical marathon at her house one night. She invites the whole grade, but there's very little interest, and even then, not many have parents that will allow them to associate with the gay couple's daughter. When she gets around to telling Kurt, she's only had yeses from Tina and Mercedes, and she tells him so begrudgingly.

"I just wish more people understood the value of a good musical," she tells him. Then she changes expressions, a bright smile to convince him. "But you'll come, right, Kurt? We're going to watch the Sound of Music, Moulin Rouge, Funny Girl, Cinderella—Rodgers and Hammerstein, of course—"

"Can I bring Blaine?" Kurt asks. He knows it's rude to cut her off, but she'd be going on forever if he didn't, and as much as he likes his girl friends, he always feels better when Blaine is there.

"Yeah, of course!" Rachel says.

The five spend that Saturday night in Rachel's basement. The girls are all excited to meet Blaine for the first time, and Blaine is excited to get out of the house.

"Nanay and Dad have been arguing a lot lately," Blaine says on the car ride over, as Burt pretends he can't hear their conversation.

"Don't they always?" Kurt asks, although he's worried, because Blaine rarely mentions this stuff.

"More than usual," Blaine says quietly. He looks out the window, arm propped on the door and hand over his mouth, so his next words are muffled. "Do you think I should start calling Nanay Mom?"

"I think you should do what you want," Kurt says.

Blaine decides to call her Nanay.

When they arrive at Rachel's, the boys are too busy to think about it any longer. They sing along to all the songs, the five kids all proclaiming that this should be a regular occurrence. When it's time to go home, it's so late and they're so tired that they fall asleep together in the back seat of Burt's truck. Kurt will never figure out how he ended up in his room the next morning.

seventh grade

For the first week, Kurt is pushed up against the lockers. His claims of being straight are now ignored (although he knows that if he didn't say it, his life would be ten thousand times worse), so almost every boy pushes him around and the girls gossip and point.

Tina, Mercedes, and Rachel tell him to ignore it.

"It's not like being gay is a bad thing," says Rachel. "Look at my dads—have you ever met better people?"

Kurt likes Rachel's dads, but he doesn't like when she talks about them in public. People stare.

"No one should be ashamed of who they are," says Mercedes. "It's horrible that those boys think you should be."

"I'm not gay," Kurt says.

Mercedes gives him an apologetic look. "I know. Sorry."

But Kurt can fight through all of this. Except when he goes home and talks to Blaine, he remembers that Blaine looks up to him. And this is what Blaine will have to face. And no one is calling Blaine a fag to his face yet, but there's been whispers because of the bowties, and Kurt just can't allow this.

The plan comes at a Friday night dinner when Burt asks Kurt if he's joining any activities (which he now can as an upper middle schooler).

"Football," says Kurt surely, remembering that tryouts are the next week.

Burt looks at him worriedly. "You know that the game's made for big guys, right, bud? You're kind of … ."

Small? Scrawny? Kurt knows, but football is the only way to get everyone off of his back.

"I'll be the kicker," says Kurt, and tryouts come and go, and he is.

The first week, he's still pushed around. The second week, it's less frequent, as the new football team slowly realizes that practice will actually take energy. The third week, they have their first game, and they only win because of Kurt's kicking. The fourth week, Finn Hudson, the quarterback, notices.

"Why do they keep pushing you around?" Finn asks, and he's so dopey that Kurt almost feels bad for him.

"They say I'm gay," Kurt says, shrugging.

"Are you?" Finn asks. The question is said so plainly that Kurt isn't sure if Finn understands the weight of it.

He doesn't know how Finn will react so he says, "No. it's just because I have a high voice."

At practice the next day, Finn makes an announcement. They're a team, and they have to work together. One member can't be excluded. "Besides, if we're out one member," Finn says, making a meaningful glance at Kurt, "we could lose all our games."

Kurt is never pushed around in the hallway again. No one calls him a fag to his face. He's sure the rumors are still there, but it's a whole lot better.

"Why do you talk to those weird girls?" Azimio asks one day in the locker room.

"Who?" Kurt replies, distracted as he reaches for his shirt stuffed way in the back of the locker. He grimaces as his hand rolls over the dust inside.

"The loud one, the black girl, and the Asian chick," Azimio says.

"They're my friends," says Kurt.

"They're weird. All they do is talk about musicals and singing and dancing. What, do you like that faggy stuff too?" asks Azimio, looking affronted.

"Of course not," says Kurt. He stops talking to Tina, Mercedes, and Rachel. He doesn't have a good answer to give to Blaine when he asks why the musical nights have stopped.

eighth grade

The summer before Blaine becomes an upper middle schooler, Kurt asks him if he's going to join the football team.

Blaine lets out an enormous laugh. It takes so long for him to calm down that Kurt jumps on the chance to admire Blaine for a moment. Now that they're a little older, Kurt feels a little more free to admit, at least to himself, that he's attracted to guys, especially his best friend Blaine. And Blaine is definitely the most beautiful guy of all, with his dorky curls flying everywhere and bouncing when he gets to moving while he talks, bright hazel eyes that seem golden in certain lights because, yes, Blaine is golden, olive skin that's even darker after a summer spent visiting relatives in the Philippines.

Finally, Blaine regains himself and speaks. "I'm too small for that, Kurt," he says. "You're already the kicker. Besides, if I was on the team, I couldn't come to watch you play."

"So what are you going to do?" Kurt asks.

Blaine shrugs. "I don't know."

He ends up joining the choir. Kurt attends only one of his performances. Blaine is amazing, although his voice hasn't quite settled. Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina are also in the choir, and their voices are just as fantastic. But Kurt ignores them afterward and approaches Blaine only.

There's a lot of things he could say. You have an amazing tone. I didn't know you could hit a note that low. Your voice is really smooth. "You were good," is what he says. It's nothing to a compliment he could give, because he knows just how amazing Blaine really is. But Blaine gives Kurt a beaming smile anyway, so it's okay.

It's April when Santana Lopez approaches him. Kurt knows who Santana Lopez is, of course. She's a cheerleader and a supposed member of the Junior Celibacy Club, but everyone knows that she's been caught making out with Puck (as Noah now goes by) behind the gym multiple times.

Kurt doesn't know how she found him. Technically, the school isn't supposed to be open as it's the weekend, but there was football practice, and they're always allowed inside to get something from the snack machines during break. Kurt had forgotten his math book in his locker, so he'd snuck up here. Reasonably, there was no reason she should have been there for him.

She was.

"What's up, Hummel?" she asks, smacking her gum calmly. Her stare is icy, and, for a moment, Kurt can see why guys think they're attracted to her. Kurt knows he's gay, but she strikes such fear into him that he almost mistakes it for attraction.

"Do you want something, Lopez?"

Santana's lips quirk up for a minute. "Yeah," she says, "and you're going to give it to me. Here's how this is going to work: you're going to go out with Brittany, and I'm going to go out with Blaine."

"Brittany Pierce?" Kurt asks first, which is kind of stupid, because of course Brittany Pierce. Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce are best friends. What other Brittany? "Why would I do that?"

Santana laughs, but it sounds like she's mocking him. "Alright, Pretty Boy, let me explain something to you. You're in love with Blaine."

Kurt is frozen in fear for a moment because how could she know? But he can't let this get out, so he rolls his eyes. "I'm not gay."

"I'm not here to argue sexualities with you, Hummel," says Santana. She pops her gum and twirls her ponytail with her finger. "I know you're in love with him. I see the look you give him. I know that look." For a moment, her face softens and her voice lowers. "I give that look to Brittany."

For all of his knowledge about gayness (which was admittedly limited to himself and Rachel's dads because there was no way Kurt was going to look anything up on the computer where his dad might find it), Kurt had never considered it from a girl's perspective.

"Oh," he says. He feels a slight sense of camaraderie, but he doesn't mention it. Santana scares him too much, and he doesn't think she'd like being lumped in with him just because they're both in love with their best friends.

"It's a simple plan," Santana continues. "We won't have to worry about them getting into serious relationships. Not real ones, at least. No matter how much Britt likes you, you'll never like her back. And I'll never like Blaine. It's simple."

Kurt can't help but think that's kind of awful. Just because he likes Blaine doesn't mean he wants to keep Blaine for himself. Okay, it does actually, but it doesn't mean he wants to force Blaine into this. Really, he'd rather Blaine choose Kurt.

"It's not really a choice, you know," she says. "I'm blackmailing you. You'd better ask Britt out by Tuesday, or I'll tell the whole school you're gay." With that, she turns to walk away, her ponytail swinging.

Kurt takes a quick breath. "How do I know she'll say yes?"

Santana glances back with a wicked smile. "Tell her that Lord Tubbington gave you a message that you should court her. She'll ask you what court means, and you'll explain it. She'll agree. And you'll talk me up to Blanderson so he'll say yes when I ask him out Wednesday."

Monday rolls around. Brittany is in Kurt's pre-algebra class, not that he knows how with the questions she asks sometimes. He stops in front of her desk five minutes before class starts.

"Um," he begins nervously. He wonders if this is how he's supposed to feel when he asks out a girl. Maybe he isn't gay after all. Or maybe he's just nervous because i he fails, everything is ruined. He takes a breath and looks at Brittany. She's pretty. Her hair looks soft, and she has a nice smile. This won't be so bad, he tells himself. "Lord Tubbington gave me a message."

Brittany's eyes light up with interest. "Oh?" she prompts, leaning forward and propping her head in her hands.

"He said I should court you," says Kurt.

Brittany frowns. "What does court mean?"

"It's like… going out, sort of. You'll be my girlfriend, and I'll be your boyfriend."

Brittany looks down at her homework paper. So does Kurt. Is that crayon? "Okay," she says. "If Lord Tubbington picked you for me, you must be nice."

At football practice that afternoon, all the guys pat Kurt on the back for scoring a girl like that. When he calls Blaine to talk that night, he expects a similar reaction.

"…You're dating a girl?" Blaine asks. The connection is shoddy, but Kurt can still tell that something's off about his voice.

"Yeah," he says. "Her name is Brittany. She's nice. And her friend Santana likes you."

"Oh," he hears Blaine sigh.

"I think you should go out with her," Kurt says, even though every cell in his body burns with abhorrence at the idea.

Santana keeps her end of the deal. Wednesday, she asks out Blaine. By the end of the week, Blantana and Kurtanny are the new power couples of the school.

ninth grade

Kurt worries that the separation of Blaine and Santana will make their plan fall through. He worries that Blaine will find some girl he likes and toss Santana to the side.

"Relax, Pretty Boy," she assures him (and he really hates that nickname because he's doing everything he can to appear as masculine as possible, from ditching his moisturizing routine to keeping his hair short and messily styled). "Blanderson won't break up with me. I'll make sure of it."

She does, and Kurt learns never to doubt her.

Freshman year is fairly uneventful. Kurt joins the junior varsity team, although he's assured that with his kicking he'll be up to varsity the next year. Santana and Brittany join the Cheerios, whose coach seems to take an odd liking to Kurt. She even picks up the nickname Pretty Boy from Santana, although she also occasionally throws in Porcelain, though who knows why. It all seems okay.

Until Brittany sneaks onto his bus after school one day.

"You ride the other bus," he tells her when she plops down next to him. Brittany smiles at him and leans to kiss his cheek.

"I know," she says. "But this is one that goes to your house."

"My dad isn't home," Kurt says. "He won't be for a while."

Her smile widens. "I know."

So they end up in his room in the basement, Brittany above him. She kisses him enthusiastically, and Kurt isn't entirely sure how to respond. He likes Brittany well enough. As far as girlfriends go, she's not bad, although sometimes he wishes she liked musicals so he could indulge sometimes. But kissing Brittany is nothing like he imagined kissing would be like. The popping noises that resound when they separate to breathe for a minute aren't exciting at all, a little strange even. When she takes his lip between his teeth, it does nothing to him.

So he imagines something else. Someone else. He imagines kissing Blaine. And suddenly it changes. He starts kissing back a little more, and he hears Brittany laugh.

"Isn't kissing fun?" she asks.

"Yeah," he agrees a little breathlessly and leans back in. It's easier to imagine it's Blaine when he can't see or hear her. They slot their lips together and hands roam. Brittany's hands are significantly smaller than Blaine's, but imagining that it's Blaine's hands on his ass is enough to excite him. Brittany suspects nothing from the way his hands tend to stay on her back, so long as he occasionally brushes up against the side of her boob, no matter how much of a turn-off it is. They continue for a while until suddenly the door to the basement opens and Burt is standing on the staircase.

Brittany and Kurt separate immediately, scooting to opposite sides of the couch. Kurt's face is flushed when he looks up at his dad.

He expects a lot of things. A look of disappointment. Anger. But not confusion.

"Dad," he says, "this is my girlfriend Brittany. I told you about her."

Brittany crosses her legs delicately and smiles. "Hello, Mr. Hummel. Your son is a good kisser."

Kurt's face goes redder, and he reminds himself to explain to her that that is not an appropriate comment later.

Burt looks at the two of them for a moment. It seems to take a bit to find words. Finally, he sighs. "Kurt, you should know better than to invite a girl over when I'm not home."

"Sorry," he says at the same time Brittany says, "Oh, but I invited myself over."

"It's my fault," Kurt assures his dad, unwilling to let Brittany give too bad an impression. She's sweet, even if she does stuff like that. He wants his dad to know that.

Burt nods. "Okay. Now, um, Brittany, I think you need to go home. Do you need to call your parents?"

"Oh, okay. No, I can walk from here. It's just a couple streets over," she says. She stands up and grabs her backpack. "Goodbye, Mr. Hummel. Goodbye, Kurt." She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and clamors up the stairs.

Burt looks back at Kurt. Kurt wonders if he's going to give a lecture, with a look that pensive. Finally, Burt just shakes his head. "Door open if a girl is over from now on. Even if it's Mercedes or Tina or Rachel."

"I don't hang out with them anymore," Kurt says.

Burt frowns. "Not sure why…"

That weekend, Blaine comes over to play COD. Kurt hates COD, but it's all anyone talks about anymore, so he pretends. To like it, at least. He kind of sucks at it.

Blaine tells him so. "You need to aim better," he says. Blaine can never really say something negative without tacking on something nice—or constructive at least.

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt waves him off. It's not like he's going to practice. He only ever plays when someone is over. They turn back to the screen and play quietly for a while, sitting on the edge of Kurt's bed. "Dad caught Brittany and me making out the other day."

Beside him, Blaine stiffens. "Oh?" he asks, his voice a little choked.

"It was so embarrassing," he says. "I didn't think he was supposed to be home, but he came home early to watch the game. I forgot that was on."

"Kind of easy to do when you have a hot girlfriend to make out with," Blaine says.

Kurt laughs, even though that's not really why. "Yeah," he says, suddenly remembering that he'd been picturing Blaine the entire time. "How far have you and Santana gotten?"

He has no idea why he asked. He doesn't really want to know. Morbid curiosity, he supposes. But Blaine shrugs and says, "Just kissing. I'm kinda nervous. She's older. And I heard all those stories. But she doesn't pressure me at all, so it's no big deal."

If Kurt were any other guy at McKinley, he would have teased Blaine about being a prude, because what kind of guy doesn't go for sex? But Kurt is Kurt, and Kurt is in love with Blaine, so he's perfectly content with that situation.

Blaine comes to the junior varsity's last game.

"I thought you said you were going to come to all my games," Kurt teases when he sees him.

"Eighth grade is a very busy year," Blaine tells him seriously. He leans over the railing of the bleachers to speak. "You're going to be great though. I'm sure."

Kurt shrugs, a feat in the padding. "It's not even a big deal. It's just JV."

"You'll be varsity next year," Blaine tells him. "You're too good not to be."

Kurt smiles at him, and Blaine smiles back, and sometimes Kurt gets lost in moments like these, where it's just them, soaking up each other's presence. And then Brittany and Santana run over to give their boyfriends pre-game kisses.

"Sweet lady kisses always make me feel better," Brittany whispers in his ear. He really should wonder what she means by that, but he's more distracted watching Blaine and Santana. Neither seem very interested in each other. Kurt wonders why they're together, and then he remembers.

He hopes Santana can continue to hold up her end of the bargain.

Kurt says goodbye to Blaine and the girls and makes his way over to the team. As he reaches the bench, Finn Hudson stops him. He points up to the bleachers.

"Is that your dad?" he asks, and, yes, Kurt does see Burt sitting with some red-haired woman. "That's my mom."

Kurt and Finn exchange looks.

"Where did they meet?" Finn asks.

"I don't know," says Kurt. "I didn't even know they knew each other."

Before the end of summer, Burt and Carole are married, and Finn and Kurt are stepbrothers.

tenth grade

With tenth grade comes many new things. This is Blaine's first year of high school, and, as risky as it is, Kurt signed up for as many shared electives as possible. He doesn't want to be accused of being too close to his best friend, but it's Blaine, so he does it anyway. And Blaine doesn't seem to care, so it's good. Really.

Santana convinces Blaine to join the Cheerios with her and Brittany.

"He needs something to up his cool factor," Santana tells Kurt. "It's already hard enough for me to date him when he's a year younger. I need a popular guy for my rep. Plus, on the Cheerios, he'll be safe. No one wants to cross Coach Sylvester."

Kurt agrees with that, so he's completely supportive of this move.

Then, New Directions happens.

McKinley has always had a glee club. Of course, it sucked freshman year. The only good singer was Rachel Berry, and no one really wanted to be around her. Even Mercedes and Tina were reluctant to join with the club sucky as it was. But then Mr. Ryerson is fired and Mr. Schuester takes over. This shouldn't really change anything.

It does.

"I want to join the glee club," Blaine announces at lunch. Santana, Brittany, and Kurt alike give him incredulous looks.

"Dude," Kurt says, and, wow, did that come out of his mouth? It's weird how this act takes him off guard sometimes, even though he's been doing it for three years now. He rubs his thumb along the hem of his letterman jacket just to remind himself of who he's supposed to be. "Glee club sucks."

"But Mr. Schuester is cool," Blaine says, and, of course, he'd say that, he's taking Spanish. Kurt is too, but he's also taking French, and he much prefers Madame Bordeau. "It might be fun this year."

"Yeah, but fun doesn't mean it's not lame," Brittany says. She puts her hand on Kurt's thigh. "Right, boo?

Kurt starts. "Right," he agrees nervously. He catches Blaine's gaze briefly and has to wonder what that gaze meant, the way his whole face fell.

"I'm joining glee," Blaine says surely, and then he leaves the lunch room. The other three finish eating quietly. When the bell rings, Brittany walks off, and Santana holds on to Kurt for a minute.

"He'll be fine," she says. "He's a Cheerio. Nothing can happen to him."

New Directions shouldn't be such a game changer. It is. Next thing Kurt knows, Finn has joined. He refuses to tell anyone a straight answer, only saying that he likes to sing and he's getting extra credit. Kurt offers to tutor him in Spanish, especially after Azimio and Karofsky tell him to "get the fag out of Hudson before it infects the whole team," but Finn refuses.

"I have to do this, bro," Finn tells him while they play COD. (And, oh my god, if Kurt had known that Finn moving in would mean more COD, he would have done everything he could to sabotage Burt and Carole's relationship. Except not really. Carole is great, and as far as stepbrothers go, Finn isn't that bad, he supposes.) "Just trust me."

"Okay," Kurt says.

"Hey," says Finn, "you could join too. We need new members, and it might be better if we had another football player."

"Fuck no," Kurt says. He would love to join, honestly, to sing again, outside of the shower. But he can't do this. He's built this up for so long. Singing would make it tumble down. The guys tolerate a lot of things about Kurt, but his voice is something that can't be changed. It's high, and it's going to stay that way, it seems. He sings high too. That's why he can't join glee. Kurt doesn't dress like he wants to. Kurt doesn't act like he wants to. Kurt can't even sing like he wants. But at least no one is pushing him around.

In the end, it doesn't matter, because Quinn, Santana, and Brittany are sent in as spies. Brittany begs him to join, because Quinn and Santana's boyfriends are already in the club.

"They keep talking about singing duets with them," she says, "and I want to sing a duet with you. You can sing and I can dance."

Kurt laughs and kisses her. (He's gotten better at doing that. Any lingering rumors about him have been dispelled by the way he pins her to the lockers and kisses her between classes.) "That's not quite how duets work, sweetie," he says. "And I don't really like to sing. But I'll dance with you."

So during lessons, Blaine and Santana will sing, and Kurt and Brittany will dance. Sometimes, Kurt is dazzled by how much of a leading man Blaine is. How Santana seems to suit him perfectly. They look like a perfect straight couple.

Kurt hopes that he and Brittany appear the same.

Somehow or another Mr. Schue rounds up enough members. The roster is officially this: Rachel Berry, Artie Abrams, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mercedes Jones, Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel, Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, and Matt Rutherford.

Glee is dramatic. Kurt doesn't really understand why. But Finn makes out with Rachel, and Quinn isn't happy. Then Quinn is pregnant, and Kurt and Finn have to hide that from their parents. And then Finn is torn between Rachel and Quinn, and Kurt has to remind him that he got his girlfriend pregnant. It turns out that Puck is the real baby daddy, and Finn and Quinn break up, but then Finn dates Rachel and breaks up with her. And Rachel dates some guy from Vocal Adrenaline who screws her around, and everything's really such a mess that Kurt stops paying attention.

Santana, Brittany, Blaine, and Kurt try to keep themselves out of the drama. They're steady couples, and it's kind of an oasis in school.

The only problem is that Kurt sees Tina, Mercedes, and Rachel around more often now. They all seem vaguely disappointed when they see him. Kurt reminds himself that it's all okay. He just has to last through high school. Maybe one day he can return to a reunion, all out and proud and reconcile with his old friends.

For now, he's Kurt, the star kicker on the football team, dating a beautiful cheerleader named Brittany.

(The Broadway and Blaine-loving Kurt has to stay hidden.)

Burt's open door rule is easy to get around. Kurt pays more attention to when his dad will be home, and he and Brittany fool around more and more. Kurt knows he's not attracted to her, but it's a good distraction. With all his practice, he can now actually touch her boobs without being distracted from his Blaine fantasy.

"You look so hot when you moan like that," Brittany whispers in his ear as his head rolls back. She presses kisses to his stomach and moves closer to the hem of his pants. "I want to," she says.

Kurt says, "Wait," and he crawls over to his nightstand, pulling out his hidden box of condoms. "I want to do everything with you," he says. He doesn't really, but it's been long enough. All the guys keep asking in the locker room. He has to get something to tell them.

When it's over, he and Brittany cuddle for a bit.

"I think I love you," she says.

He says, "I love you too." It's a different type of love, and it makes him feel guilty. But this is the way it has to be.

They don't pass Regionals. They didn't really expect to.

They get another year anyway.

The Hudson-Hummels move into a new house over the summer. This house has a pool. Kurt and Blaine spend many days lounging around in it.

Kurt sometimes wonders why he invites Blaine over more than Brittany. Then he remembers that he thinks Blaine looks amazing in a swimsuit. (Shirtless Blaine is really amazing. He's all kinds of hairy, but it's sort of hot, and he has muscular arms and nice shoulders, but his tummy looks sort of soft, which makes Kurt think it would be nice to rest his head on. Not that he ever could.)

"Is it weird that I'm almost sixteen and still a virgin?" Blaine asks on a July day when Finn has gone out with whatever girl he's dating at the moment.

"No," Kurt says. "I was at your age." He ducks under the water to cool off, chlorine sticking to his skin. He runs his hand through his hair and wipes his eyes before looking back at Blaine, who looks a little dazed, but quickly snaps out of it.

"Was," Blaine repeats. The look on his face breaks Kurt's heart. He doesn't know why.

Kurt flushes. "Britt and I… a while ago…"

"You didn't tell me?" Blaine wonders. "I thought we were best friends."

"We are," Kurt assures him. "It's just—you never asked."

Blaine sighs. He shifts to float on his back. "Was it nice?"

Kurt wonders what to say. It was. He came, and he made sure she did. But it didn't seem quite right. Something was missing. (He pushed aside the voice that was telling him it was another guy.)

"Yeah," Kurt says.

"Britt's a lucky girl," says Blaine.