Guess, which much loved Hobbit, is indulging in some rule breaking? Is
there a doubt? In case you've inconveniently forgotten, it's Real Person /
Who they're playing. (i.e.- Aragorn/Frodo is Aragorn who's playing Frodo.
Get it? Well, if you don't then, you shouldn't have forgotten!)
Pippin/Gandalf crept towards a large table, his beard wrapped around his neck so he wouldn't trip over it. The room was deserted because it was still very early in the morning, and even the Elves were sleeping with their eyes open.
Because of Elrond's stupid 'Stay in Character' rule, he couldn't eat eight square meals a day- not in public anyway. It wasn't cheating- who knew what Gandalf's culinary habits were? Under one arm he carried a box of Alphabet Cereal, and in the other, a bowl of milk.
The last two- the bowl and milk, as most of Middle Earth would know, were a dangerous combination. As expected, the beard came undone and caused him trip on the staff that had unrolled from under it. With sure footedness that came to those in immense peril and immense hunger, he froze in the act of tripping, on tiptoes on one foot and the other serving as the platform for the box of cereal, while he held on the bowl for dear life.
Silence.
Pippin/Gandalf gave an unreasonably loud sigh of relief before toppling over with a loud crash. He watched in horror as the milk swept across the floor in front of him to where the cereal had spilled over. He considered eating it, and just as he pulled out a spoon from the depths of his vast grey cloak, the alphabets began moving about.
"Argh!" cried Pippin/Gandalf, and hoped that Elrond hadn't heard that Out Of Character cry. The letters stopped moving about, forming a word.
"HI!"
"Hello!" he said to the cereal in pure Hobbitishness.
"HOW ARE YOU, PIPPIN/GANDALF?" the cereal asked.
"Great!" said Pippin/Gandalf, "Hungry though," he added with a glint in his eye as he fingered the silver spoon in his hand.
"DON'T EAT ME, PIPPIN/GANDALF. I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU."
"Can you tell me as I eat?"
"NO. AWW.YOU HAVE SUCH A CUTE ACCENT!"
"Is that all?" asked Pippin/Gandalf.
"PIPPIN/GANDALF, I AM ELRENIA. IT WAS GLORFINDEL/ARWEN, PIPPIN/GANDALF!"
"Which one?" asked Pippin/Gandalf, "Glorfindel, Arwen, Pippin/Gandalf or Gandalf? Wait a minute, I'm Pippin/Gandalf. I mean, I'm Gandalf. oh no! I have an identity crisis!"
"KEEP TALKING," said the cereal that was called Elrenia, "AWESOME ACCENT.ER, SORRY. BUT IT WAS GLORFINDEL/ARWEN WHO KILLED BOROMIR. YOU MUST BRING HIM/HER TO JUSTICE!!!"
Pippin/Gandalf looked confused. "Er, right. Umm. any idea why he/she did it?"
"GLORFINDEL IS TROUBLED TO BEGIN WITH, AND THE ESSENCE OF ARWEN CORRUPTS HIS MIND. HE MUST HAVE TRIED TO KILL FRODO/GLORFINDEL AND KILLED BOROMIR/BOROMIR INSTEAD."
"Ohh." said Pippin/Gandalf, trying to assimilate all that knowledge, "Hey, you just solved the mystery for me! Thanks!"
"YOU'RE WELCOME, PIP/GANDY. MAY YOUR ACCENT EVER FLOURISH."
The cereal scattered, and Pippin/Gandalf carefully collected it and put it back in the box, in case he felt like talking to it later.
Hearing the prowling sound of Elrond/Merry coming to yell at him, Pippin/Gandalf scurried off, hiding the bowl and cereal and stuff under the table.
He wandered through the woods of Rivendell, looking for perhaps a long forgotten feast or something. He was still hungry. He was about to resort to banging trees with his staff to get apples when he saw a glowy person approach. She was an Elf, he realized, with a gown patterned with buttercups.
"And who are you supposed to be?" he asked. "My Elven Godmother? Because I'm really hungry!"
"Nay, Pippin/Gandalf," said the person. "I am an Elf of Rivendell"
"Okay." said Pippin/Gandalf. "Am I supposed to know you?"
"I watch over little hungry Hobbits," said the Elf of Rivendell.
"Yay!" cried Pippin/Gandalf. "So you have food?"
"Perhaps," she replied. "Listen to me, Pippin/Gandalf."
"Do I have a choice?"
"No."
Pippin/Gandalf shrugged. It wasn't the first time that day he'd not had a choice.
"I saw something. Something no other Elf of Mirkwood-"
"Rivendell," corrected Pippin/Gandalf.
"Right, Rivendell. I saw something no Elf of Rivendell should have seen."
"Is it below a PG-13 rating?"
"Yup. I saw, in the darkest darkness, the eeriest eeriness, the creepiest creepiness. the murder of Boromir."
"Really?"
"No, but doesn't it sound cool?
"Definitely," agreed Pippin/Gandalf. "So, can I get my food now?"
"But I haven't told you who did it yet!" exclaimed the Elf of Rivendell.
"Oh, I already know!" said Pippin/Gandalf happily, "The mystery's already been solved- it was Glorfindel/ Arwen!"
The Elf of Rivendell gave him a blank look. "No it wasn't," she said.
"It was too!" cried Pippin/Gandalf.
"Was not!" exclaimed the Elf of Rivendell. "It was Frodo!"
"Frodo/Glorfindel?" asked Pippin/Gandalf. "So what about Glorfindel/Arwen?"
"It was Frodo," said the Elf of Rivendell firmly. " Frodo plays Glorfindel, so he MUST have done it! I mean, all he does now is pretend not to exist! There's plenty of opportunities to slip a kill and get away with it! It is up to you to solve the mystery.Frodo/Glorfindel killed Boromir!"
"So the cereal was lying?" asked Pippin/Gandalf, looking confused.
"Eh?" asked the Elf, bewildered. "You okay? You're talking about dishonest cereal. Here, take this!"
She tossed him an apple. Then, she stepped back to go, waving cheerfully to the Hobbit.
Pippin/Gandalf looked down at the apple. "This is it?" he asked.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!" said the Elf of Rivendell. "Though illness is no problem in Rivendell with Elrond and.sigh. Aragorn around! See ya'!"
She glowed and walked away. Pippin/Gandalf shrugged and bit into the apple.
"So the cereal lied?" he asked himself.
"Nah!" he said, finishing the apple in another bite. He had been VERY hungry. "Food always tells the truth. As Sam/Aragorn would say when he was just Sam- you can always trust food, and that's the truth!"
Throwing the core into a nearby river, he decided to go back, looking forward to twisting Gandalf/ Pippin/Gandalf's ears a little more and pulling Merry/ Sam out of a bush somewhere again.
However, Merry/Sam was having trouble of his own back at the Last Homely House.
Well, that's about it! As you can guess, the next chapter'll be from Merry's point of view!
Please do keep reviewing! There'll be a lot more 'guest' appearances, so have patience!
Pippin/Gandalf crept towards a large table, his beard wrapped around his neck so he wouldn't trip over it. The room was deserted because it was still very early in the morning, and even the Elves were sleeping with their eyes open.
Because of Elrond's stupid 'Stay in Character' rule, he couldn't eat eight square meals a day- not in public anyway. It wasn't cheating- who knew what Gandalf's culinary habits were? Under one arm he carried a box of Alphabet Cereal, and in the other, a bowl of milk.
The last two- the bowl and milk, as most of Middle Earth would know, were a dangerous combination. As expected, the beard came undone and caused him trip on the staff that had unrolled from under it. With sure footedness that came to those in immense peril and immense hunger, he froze in the act of tripping, on tiptoes on one foot and the other serving as the platform for the box of cereal, while he held on the bowl for dear life.
Silence.
Pippin/Gandalf gave an unreasonably loud sigh of relief before toppling over with a loud crash. He watched in horror as the milk swept across the floor in front of him to where the cereal had spilled over. He considered eating it, and just as he pulled out a spoon from the depths of his vast grey cloak, the alphabets began moving about.
"Argh!" cried Pippin/Gandalf, and hoped that Elrond hadn't heard that Out Of Character cry. The letters stopped moving about, forming a word.
"HI!"
"Hello!" he said to the cereal in pure Hobbitishness.
"HOW ARE YOU, PIPPIN/GANDALF?" the cereal asked.
"Great!" said Pippin/Gandalf, "Hungry though," he added with a glint in his eye as he fingered the silver spoon in his hand.
"DON'T EAT ME, PIPPIN/GANDALF. I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU."
"Can you tell me as I eat?"
"NO. AWW.YOU HAVE SUCH A CUTE ACCENT!"
"Is that all?" asked Pippin/Gandalf.
"PIPPIN/GANDALF, I AM ELRENIA. IT WAS GLORFINDEL/ARWEN, PIPPIN/GANDALF!"
"Which one?" asked Pippin/Gandalf, "Glorfindel, Arwen, Pippin/Gandalf or Gandalf? Wait a minute, I'm Pippin/Gandalf. I mean, I'm Gandalf. oh no! I have an identity crisis!"
"KEEP TALKING," said the cereal that was called Elrenia, "AWESOME ACCENT.ER, SORRY. BUT IT WAS GLORFINDEL/ARWEN WHO KILLED BOROMIR. YOU MUST BRING HIM/HER TO JUSTICE!!!"
Pippin/Gandalf looked confused. "Er, right. Umm. any idea why he/she did it?"
"GLORFINDEL IS TROUBLED TO BEGIN WITH, AND THE ESSENCE OF ARWEN CORRUPTS HIS MIND. HE MUST HAVE TRIED TO KILL FRODO/GLORFINDEL AND KILLED BOROMIR/BOROMIR INSTEAD."
"Ohh." said Pippin/Gandalf, trying to assimilate all that knowledge, "Hey, you just solved the mystery for me! Thanks!"
"YOU'RE WELCOME, PIP/GANDY. MAY YOUR ACCENT EVER FLOURISH."
The cereal scattered, and Pippin/Gandalf carefully collected it and put it back in the box, in case he felt like talking to it later.
Hearing the prowling sound of Elrond/Merry coming to yell at him, Pippin/Gandalf scurried off, hiding the bowl and cereal and stuff under the table.
He wandered through the woods of Rivendell, looking for perhaps a long forgotten feast or something. He was still hungry. He was about to resort to banging trees with his staff to get apples when he saw a glowy person approach. She was an Elf, he realized, with a gown patterned with buttercups.
"And who are you supposed to be?" he asked. "My Elven Godmother? Because I'm really hungry!"
"Nay, Pippin/Gandalf," said the person. "I am an Elf of Rivendell"
"Okay." said Pippin/Gandalf. "Am I supposed to know you?"
"I watch over little hungry Hobbits," said the Elf of Rivendell.
"Yay!" cried Pippin/Gandalf. "So you have food?"
"Perhaps," she replied. "Listen to me, Pippin/Gandalf."
"Do I have a choice?"
"No."
Pippin/Gandalf shrugged. It wasn't the first time that day he'd not had a choice.
"I saw something. Something no other Elf of Mirkwood-"
"Rivendell," corrected Pippin/Gandalf.
"Right, Rivendell. I saw something no Elf of Rivendell should have seen."
"Is it below a PG-13 rating?"
"Yup. I saw, in the darkest darkness, the eeriest eeriness, the creepiest creepiness. the murder of Boromir."
"Really?"
"No, but doesn't it sound cool?
"Definitely," agreed Pippin/Gandalf. "So, can I get my food now?"
"But I haven't told you who did it yet!" exclaimed the Elf of Rivendell.
"Oh, I already know!" said Pippin/Gandalf happily, "The mystery's already been solved- it was Glorfindel/ Arwen!"
The Elf of Rivendell gave him a blank look. "No it wasn't," she said.
"It was too!" cried Pippin/Gandalf.
"Was not!" exclaimed the Elf of Rivendell. "It was Frodo!"
"Frodo/Glorfindel?" asked Pippin/Gandalf. "So what about Glorfindel/Arwen?"
"It was Frodo," said the Elf of Rivendell firmly. " Frodo plays Glorfindel, so he MUST have done it! I mean, all he does now is pretend not to exist! There's plenty of opportunities to slip a kill and get away with it! It is up to you to solve the mystery.Frodo/Glorfindel killed Boromir!"
"So the cereal was lying?" asked Pippin/Gandalf, looking confused.
"Eh?" asked the Elf, bewildered. "You okay? You're talking about dishonest cereal. Here, take this!"
She tossed him an apple. Then, she stepped back to go, waving cheerfully to the Hobbit.
Pippin/Gandalf looked down at the apple. "This is it?" he asked.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!" said the Elf of Rivendell. "Though illness is no problem in Rivendell with Elrond and.sigh. Aragorn around! See ya'!"
She glowed and walked away. Pippin/Gandalf shrugged and bit into the apple.
"So the cereal lied?" he asked himself.
"Nah!" he said, finishing the apple in another bite. He had been VERY hungry. "Food always tells the truth. As Sam/Aragorn would say when he was just Sam- you can always trust food, and that's the truth!"
Throwing the core into a nearby river, he decided to go back, looking forward to twisting Gandalf/ Pippin/Gandalf's ears a little more and pulling Merry/ Sam out of a bush somewhere again.
However, Merry/Sam was having trouble of his own back at the Last Homely House.
Well, that's about it! As you can guess, the next chapter'll be from Merry's point of view!
Please do keep reviewing! There'll be a lot more 'guest' appearances, so have patience!