AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi there, this is a fic that I started a while ago which I will update once in a while, probably not as regular as Loved Back to Life.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

Anything in Italics are thoughts

Note sure how people will take to this story

It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea

Beth comes from a devoted Christian Family so there will be references to religion, faith etc. She questions her faith she has been brought up in when life throws her into unknown territories she never knew she would ever find herself in - falling in love with a married man who is not yet divorced and the consequences.

Then there's Rick, a deputy living in a community where there's no secrets, everybody knows your business only that he and his wife no longer share the same bed but sleep in separate rooms and lead separate lives but put up a front in front of the town. He's just coping to survive because of his son. His marriage fell apart a long time ago and he couldn't live a lie any more so he packed his bags and moved out and fell into a depression and he was angry at life. Then a younger girl walks into his life and things change, there's happiness and hope again and he begins to see life differently and through her eyes. They fall in love but there's a problem, his wife won't let go and then a revelation changes everything which takes them to a crossroad. Beth and Rick walk in opposite directions and go their own ways.

After her struggles, Beth finally finds her way back to her religion and her faith begins to rebuild and she has accepted what life has thrown at her but Rick is lost and regrets his choices wishing he had taken Beth's hand and never let go.

The Journey

Chapter 1

The fairy lights twinkle and look like stars reflecting down on to the black shiny floor as she stares down at it. Standing there, closing her eyes she remembers her old life back on the farm laying on the grass looking up at the stars and thinking about her dreams, with her guitar within reaching distance, fingers begin strumming tunes to whatever lyrics coming to her mind. Remembering the once shy little girl standing front and centre in church leading the choir into service. Feeling alive forgetting her fears and reaching for the stars and when the music played, she lost and gave herself into it, this is what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

Her parents couldn't have been prouder, her mother described her as a simple caterpillar waiting to flourish and when that time comes, she'll go soaring with everyone looking up at her. All her life she felt different to everyone but when the first note left her lips echoing throughout the church like a wave and out the speakers, a passion flourished inside of her. She, at that moment, grew wings transforming into a butterfly and was set free soaring above them as they watched with open mouths in astonishment that this voice was hidden behind a shy exterior and for the first time she didn't mind not being like everyone.

The tender age of ten, the Pastor knelt in front of her telling her to follow her heart to take a footstep step in front of the other and let fate do the rest. He told her his story, we all have one. As a young man returning from war, he questioned his life and it took him to walking and he found himself standing in front of the church doors one night and he never looked back, this is where his fate took him. He told her, she should do the same and it'll lead her to hers one day, it may not always be what she would have expected but things happen for reasons and if you have faith and courage, you will always find your way to whatever and wherever that may be. God tests people in many ways, he takes you from one point and places you in another and sometimes it's not always rosy, out of your comfort zone but it's how we deal with the tests thrown at us…but sometimes you just have to walk away and let go and sometimes that makes you stronger. "He only gives us enough to bear". The Pastor, looking up at curious eyes knew it was a lot to take in but she always had questions about life and he'd answer them as honest as he could and sometimes the answers had become another question which at times was confusing - he challenged her mind and those thoughts were put down in her journal where her most sacred thoughts lay to this day. Smiling he said he also had an ulterior motive, he needed her to assist him and bring the stragglers to church which made her laugh and the angelic laugh echoed and could be heard way up to the bell tower.

The Pastor opened the windows and her angelic voice travelled the distance of the county and to the next and the following weeks the pews would fill row by row until they had to open the doors and lay benches out on to the courtyard.

As the years went by in a flurry, and turning 18, her mother died and a cloud lingered above her. She decided to take that walk, one foot in front of the other and see where her walk would take her. She left home in search. Her dream was to play and sing, to travel the world playing at venues, her own concerts spreading her words. The crowds to join in and sing along to the songs she had written about love, hope and faith. They were songs of her own life experiences reaching out to people in the ways people had reached out to her at different stages of her life and one day, find someone to share her secrets and take the vowels binding her soul to another for eternity and to produce a symbol of their love.

Her eyelids flutter open and the stage is set, sitting on a stool, centre stage, guitar in her hand, taking a deep breathe stealing a side glance to the velvet curtain. They were gently rocking side to side encouraging her with mirroring eyes of love back at her relaxing her nerves, the two people who held the keys to her heart and reality hits, things don't always work out the way you hoped, sometimes maybe it was never meant to be, it was too late to turn back and even if she could, she couldn't and tears threaten to escape but before they could, she is brought back to reality.

How things have changed. Left behind a simple life to a complicated one of today. Thinking she found her everlasting turned out, she had lost everything. She'd have to keep walking and putting that foot in front of the other.

"Beth, honey, you gonna clean that stage staring down at it?

Beth's eyes snap up to meet kind gleaming eyes, he was standing beside the bar hands on hips with a smile on his face. Dale was her boss who ran the restaurant of the five star hotel, hired her eighteen months ago, a homeless twenty year old searching for a job and a place to stay. He was a kind man and after getting to know him, she learnt he was a widower of five years, never had any children and had a soft spot for kids especially kids with problems. Maybe it was pity he felt for her when he gave her the job. She found the courage to walk into the restaurant and ask for an application form and he took one look at her and frowned wanting to ask her questions but never did and after a 5 minute conversation, he offered her a trial run and when she worked hard and gave 110%, first one in, last one out, he offered her a full time position. In honestly, she would take anything, cleaning the toilets, washing pots and pans, she needed the money to pay for a roof over her head. She began to think maybe god hadn't turned his back and forgotten about her when she began to lose faith in him.

One day, when things got too much, she felt so tired and alone, Dale found her in the store room crouched in a ball crying. He sat down next to her on the cold concrete floor shuddering at how cold it was, terrified he'd never be able to get back up. He managed to get her to look at him. It was concern she saw in his eyes and not pity. She buried her face in her hands and leaned into his chest sobbing. Seeing she needed her father, he knew he wasn't him but he could be as good as, he stroked her hair and she unburdened herself on him. He listened and never judged, he comforted her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He knew her secrets and swore to help and he did, he helped her through the following toughest months when she had nobody else to turn to.

"Darn! I thought I could zap it clean with my superpower eyes" she looks around her surroundings "guess they're not working today!" her head slumps down in a resigned sigh.

Dale chuckles, winks at her and waves her bye as he grabs the books off the counter and exits to go to his office to count the takings for the night. They had a private function, closed to the public, lots of rich business people having a knees up and they were flashing the cash and the jar that held the tips was bursting with crisp bills to be shared out amongst the waiting staff at the end of the day.

"I'm gonna kill Zach, the jerk left in the middle of the shift again and we have to cover for him - AGAIN!" the blonde huffs thundering around pulling the expensive tablecloths off the tables and throwing them into the laundry bag.

"Yeah, you say that now and when he undresses you with his eyes looking you up and down, you'll bat your lashes back at him," Beth says rolling her eyes at her friend.

She finishes mopping the stage and climbs down the stairs to admire how shiny the stage was, ready for the next artist to play the following evening "You can practically eat your Duck Foie Gras off this floor" she says crouching down to take a closer look seeing her face staring back at her.

"Pamela! Carrie! take ya tips and get outta here!" a gruff voice approaches them.

"Would you stop referring to me as Pamela Anderson, if you have to call me by a name other than my own, call me by my stage name Scarlett!" Amy says walking around the table in her short skirt and high heels. Amy was a drama graduate. When she wasn't working at the restaurant, she would be auditioning and taking part in small stage plays, waiting for a producer or a director to walk through the doors and sign her up for a leading role.

"Whatever," he says trying not to look at her pushed up breasts looking the other way. It was hard not to catch an eyeful, the girl had no shame, she was wearing a push up bra and buttons undone revealing more flesh which was for the benefit of the good looking rich businessmen. "take ya money, take out the chicken fillets and get!" he says holding out her money.

"One day I'll be rich and famous and you'll be wishin' you were nicer to me Daryl Dixon!" Amy grabs her wad of money and drags the laundry bag to the door ready for one of the guys to take it to the back to be picked up by the cleaners.

"Thanks Daryl" Beth smiles.

He had started calling her Carrie as in Carrie Underwood. She didn't know whether he was being sarcastic and making fun out of her. He once complimented her that she has a nice voice when Dale let her sing whilst they were cleaning up at the end of a slow night and the nickname has stuck since.

Beth reaches for her share of the tips. She'd practically had to keep a fake smile plastered on her face every time a guy tried to hit on her. With the extra cash, she could finally call out a plumber to fix the leak in the kitchen sink, the Landlord keeps making excuses that he'll get someone to take a look but still hadn't.

"You sure this is all for me?" Beth asks looking at the rolled up notes. She takes off the elastic band and flicks it through her fingers and looks up stunned "how much is here?" she asks wide eyed.

"$150 – rich people like to flash the cash especially when alcohol is runnin' like tap water, too drunk to know what they're doing - who am I to tell them to stop" Daryl shrugs his shoulders and reaches for the cigarette behind his ear and if her eyes could grow any bigger, they just did - "$150!" she thought she was going to faint.

Beth looks at Daryl and he's watching the others leaving. She could tell he needed a smoke, watching him play with it between his fingers. He had practically kept the place going being Dale's second in charge and Beth couldn't help but admire Daryl and his calmness and getting things done without having to raise a voice. One stare sent you running and especially when they were slammed, he was mixing cocktails and pouring drinks like it was nothing and still co-ordinating everyone front of house and in the kitchen, he had an understanding with the T-Dog the Head Chief who was a softie.

The first time Beth was behind the bar, she broke about twenty glasses, sprayed him with the beer pump and smashed an expensive bottle of champagne – that day had been stomach wrenching, she was throwing up as it was but Daryl told her not to worry, he'll sort it, he looked pissed but didn't voice it. She never found out by what he meant by he'll sort it and he did sort it as it was never brought up again and she was thankful because if she had to take the money out of her wages, she wouldn't be able to afford her rent or eat for the next couple of weeks probably?

She shudders thinking and throws him an appreciative smile but Daryl had already left whilst she was lost in thought, she hadn't heard him leave and jumps slightly looking around for him and she finally hears him calling over his shoulder as he made it over to the bar grabbing his vest with the angel wings.

"There's an extra $30 donated generously by Zach" and she swore she saw him smirking from beneath his long hair covering his eyes and moving out the way so she could see his lip crease up at the corners.

Daryl holds the door open for her, gesturing to hurry up and she runs down the aisle and grabs her bag and cardigan in the cupboard under the bar and walks out the door followed by him. They walk side by side in silence out the side exit to the chilly air and Beth hugs her arms around herself, she's going to have to buy a winter jacket and with the extra money, she'd be able to afford it now.

Daryl climbs on to his bike and starts his engine inhaling the air. He looks over at her in her uniform, a black fitted skirt, white blouse, stockings, heels and a small cardigan and it was 12.30am.

"You walkin' home on your own tonight?" He asks taking a puff from his cigarette.

"No, Amy should be out in a moment, she's goin' to drop me off." She replies.

"Ya want me to wait?" he looks up at her

Beth shakes her head no. From the corner of his eyes, he sees a rowdy bunch of guys pouring out of the flash bar opposite and on seeing Beth, they start to whistle their appreciation and linger gazing at her. Daryl caught on to the sudden uneasiness in the change of her body language and her eyes seemed to plead for him not to leave her. He turns off his bike and waits with her checking his bike over other than just sitting there.

After a while, he spins his head around for Amy and frowns in annoyance at her, leaving Beth out alone for so long and considered going back in and dragging her out as she still hadn't made an appearance. He turns his gaze back over the street and the group decide to move on. Beth finally allowed herself to relax. She knew she was ok with Daryl there but she feared just in case Daryl had to get off, she wouldn't hold him up any longer than she already had. She worried, she'd be left alone, it was late and the thought somebody might jump up from behind and pull her into a dark alleyway petrified her, she wouldn't be able to fight them off, she'd try but most probably fail. It was guys like Daryl she was thankful for especially in a terrifying big city like Atlanta late into the night not knowing anyone. Amy appears.

"Sorry, Zach turned up and…I'll get you home in 5 minutes, I promise!" Amy says running and unlocking her car door.

Beth smirks knowing what they'd been up to, she once walked in on them making out in the stockroom. She walks up closer to Daryl.

"Thanks, I appreciate you waiting and -"

"S'alright" he says flicking the end of the cigarette on the floor and stamping down on it.

He glances at her for a moment and then starts his bike. It was so loud Beth had to cover her ears and take a few steps back. She looks up and Daryl nods a good bye and then he's off speeding down the road and round the corner out of sight leaving a trail of dust from his Harley. Amy beeps her horn and Beth opens the door and climbs in carefully hoping her skirt wouldn't split. She still hadn't completely fitted back into it and would have to go back to wearing a size up. She couldn't wait to get home and throw on some jogging bottoms and her favourite T-Shirt she'd borrowed and never gave back.

Beth fumbles with her keys trying to open the door, the lighting wasn't good. She'd complained to the Landlord but he still hadn't gotten round to fixing the light as well as her kitchen sink. Opening the door and then slamming it shut, she runs up the two flights of stairs and knocks on the door.

"I'm sorry Carol, I know I'm late, there was a private function and it went on longer than expected!" Beth apologies and Carol lets her into her warm apartment.

"Beth, its ok" Carol smiles, she feels Beth apologies too much when she honestly didn't mind.

Carol goes into the bedroom and comes out a moment later.

"Look who's here Olly" Carol whispers.

A tiny yawn escapes, hand stretching out and eyes slowly opening adjusting to the lighting in the room. Beth reaches over and takes a hold of the bundle wrapped up in a blanket.

"Was you good for Aunty Carol?" Beth nuzzles into the chubby cheeks and tiny hands reaching and grabbing her face. A tiny smile appears recognising the blonde haired blue eyes, getting excited he blows a spit bubble which pops when he gurgles some baby speech. Beth leans in and kisses his tiny nose and then his lips. "Yucky, spit bubbles," she laughs and peppers kisses again over his face. "he's gettin' heavy," Beth laughs "what have you fed him today?" she laughs rubbing her nose on his.

"Just his usual bottle, mashed up veggies, sorry there was some brussel sprouts tonight so you'll be receiving a pleasant present at 5am," Carol pinches her nose and Beth throws her head to the side in thanks "and then another bottle. Oh, I mashed up a banana and some peanut butter like you said and he wolfed it down" Carol laughs imitating the eleven month old baby munching into his face, resulting in a little squeal from him "wonder where he picked that habit up from, it's gross but yum, I actually tried some to see what the yumming and umming was about – pretty good - have you tied it?"

Beth looks at Olly, there was only one person who she knew who wolfed down peanut butter and banana smothered on toast like Olly did and she swallows hard from the memory.

Flashback

"What on earth are you eatin'?" Beth watches him laughing as he wolfs down his breakfast whilst she eats her oatmeal with honey slowly.

"Peanut butter and banana on toast. It fills you up and keeps you feeling full longer, so you eat less overall. Plus, there's nothing more indulgent than licking peanut butter off a spoon" he does that watching and raising his eyebrows at her waiting for a blush to appear "good start to the day after a long run and everything in moderation is good, you should try it!" he pushes his plate to her to try his breakfast stretching and she takes a look and she has to agree smiling, he was all toned and hard abs and she blushes as he catches her admiring his body. Watching him get up from across the table, he walks over to her, leans down one hand on the table and the other on her chin as he pulls her mouth up to him in a hungry kiss and she can taste the mixture of peanut butter and banana and moans into his mouth in approval.

"Tastes good" she murmurs as he breaks away.

"You taste better!" he whispers back and he steals a quick kiss before he leaves to take his shower before he has to leave for work.

Beth goes to take a bite of her oatmeal and before she can, her arm is being pulled up, she drops her spoon into her bowl making a mess and he's picking her up and carrying her into the bathroom kicking the door shut before she can protest. She shrieks when the cold water sprays down on to them and he swears laughing fumbling with the shower control to set it on warm concentrating on his other task, pulling her T-Shirt off and lifting her up against the tiles.

"Rickkkkk!" she giggles.

"I think mommy's zoned out on us?" Carol kisses Olly on the head and snaps her finger in front of Beth's face making her peer down at Olly and back up at Carol.

"Sorry, it's been a long day. I'll see you tomorrow and here, this is for you!" Beth pulls out $30 and tries to hand it to Carol who pushes it back.

"No, you need to save and get out of this dump. I love Olly, you never need to pay me to look after him, he keeps me company when Sophia's at school and she loves having someone to play with when she gets home." Carol says putting a hand on her shoulder. Beth is emotional like she wants to cry and hugs Carol stifling a sob.

"Go, get some rest sweetie, you've earned it and he'll nod off once he's in his mommy's bosom."

Beth grabs the baby bag and before she leaves, she kisses Carol on the cheek.

"Good Night Carol."

"Good Night Beth, night Jolly Olly!"

Beth walks to her apartment next door, unlocks her door walking in turning on the lamp. She double bolts the door and looks around the room, it was near enough empty, there was a small sofa, a recliner, a coffee table, TV and dining table set and just a few pictures she'd painted herself hanging on the walls and the tiny kitchenette on the side.

She takes Olly into her bedroom, she didn't want to sleep alone tonight. She shuts the door and places him in her bed turning on the little night light that plays twinkle twinkle little star melody and Olly watches the lights of the stars moving around the room reaching up trying to catch one kicking his feet in his little onesie when it escapes his grasp and Beth watches whilst she gets dressed.

She lets out her hair from her high ponytail and she finally gets out of her ankle breaking heels and uniform putting on her jogging bottoms and his T-Shirt. She hugs herself imagining it's his arms around her. She walks to the bed and climbs in and cuddles up to Olly kissing him and singing along to twinkle twinkle little star.

When Olly finally falls asleep holding on to her ear, Beth silently lets her tears fall down. With a part of him cuddled next to her, she felt Rick's absence tremendously at night. Sometimes she feels like she can't breathe without him she can't help but wonder whether Olly would one day look like Rick when he grows up, whether they would ever meet and whether Rick would ever forgive her for not telling him he had another son, had she made a terrible judgement call. So many things running through her mind, she didn't know what to do but make sure Olly was taken care of. As if he could sense Beth's pain, Olly pulls on her ear and snuggles into her reminding her that she's not alone, she's got him and with that Beth falls into a deep sleep.

To be continued…