not mine, no profit garnered. thanks to pb for beta!

Marty leaned against the railing of Ella's balcony and took the cigarette she offered him. He wasn't even a social smoker, he was a visiting with the ex smoker and only then smoker. "You should quit," he said.

Ella grunted. She put the baby monitor on the floor of the balcony. "I know, whatever. So I smoke a pack a month. Did you want to talk about work?"

Marty thought, today there was a stolen nuke, did you know they call that empty quiver? He thought, we saved the world. At least the country. Instead he said, "You know, the usual. Navy cop beat."

She smiled at him. "So did you save the world and just can't tell me? Blink twice."

"Nope," he said. "I can tell you I had a nice tete a tete with the partner today. We discussed the ways we annoy each other and resolved to be better."

"She's hot, right?"

Marty shook his head. "It's not like that."

"You think she's hot, I can tell. I don't think you're planning to date her and whatever," Ella said. "Ugh, whatever. How did that tete a tete go?"

"It went fine," he said. "It's not that exciting."

"Was it about what an awful conversationalist you are?"

"Only with you," he said. He stubbed out his cigarette and smiled at her. "I should go home."

"So thank you for whatever you did to save us all," Ella said, smiling.

xx

Kensi got off the phone with Callen and arranged Deeks's new private room. Then she sat down outside for a moment to just catch up. Get ready for next steps and put aside the hurricane in her gut.

She looked up to see an unbelievably gorgeous black woman, 5'10", size 4, dressed conservatively except for the 4 inch stilettos. Kensi said, "Are you, um, Ella?"

"You're Kensi," Ella said, nodding. "Marty's in there?"

"He's going to be okay," Kensi said. "Did the doctor tell you?"

"She said something about that, I just, you know, he got shot." Ella stood in the doorway watching Deeks sleep. Ella turned around and sat down next to Kensi.

Kensi said, "You're his next of kin?"

Ella said, "I'm the guardian of his 5 year old next of kin." She smiled, a little. Her lipstick was perfect. Her mascara wasn't running and her eyeliner stayed in place. Kensi could see tiny tear lines in her foundation, but it was otherwise that kind of foundation where you never knew the woman was wearing foundation.

Kensi felt like she was 13. She knew she was beautiful, of course. Kensi wasn't one for false modesty, but she also was never the girl who wore make up, or knew how to put it on. Ella was a step up from beautiful. She was perfectly made up, her manicure wasn't chipped, and she seemed like it was all effortless. Kensi was the worst person, the kind of idiot who envied someone when they were crying and still looked pretty.

Kensi patted Ella's knee. She hoped it wasn't condescending. She said, "Have you told Beatrice yet?"

"No, no," Ella said. "She'll just freak out, even if he's going to be okay. I'm freaking out." She sighed. "I mean, I know I'm not his wife, but I think about it all the time, how they would inform me. He's a really good dad and I wouldn't want Beatrice to not have him."

Kensi remembered what else Callen had said. The shooters had tracked Deeks by figuring out that once a week he always ran along the beach and then followed him to the convenience store. She said, "We think they were after Deeks, I don't, do you know anyone who would want him dead?"

Ella's eyes widened. She said, "I don't know. So I guess people he's arrested? Ugh, he's kind of an idiot, sometimes, I bet he'd tell you his father should be on that list."

"His father?"

Ella pressed her lips together. She said, "Right, he hasn't told you, of course."

Kensi said, "He told me his father shot at him and said he hated him a few years ago."

Ella rolled her eyes. "He's such a liar. Sorry, he really is. I don't think he told me one true thing about himself until I was pregnant. So he's just, he's kind of an idiot."

Kensi ran through in her head everything Deeks had told her. Which parts were lies, she thought.

Ella said, "Marty shot his father when he was 11. Because his father was a, he was abusive and he hit Marty and his mom and he tried to kill them both until Marty shot him. But Marty, I think he thinks of his dad like he's some mastermind who wants to destroy him. So he thinks his dad is so powerful. The guy is probably some sad drunk or he's dead. I always wondered why Marty didn't just do a simple records check to see if he was dead, but I dunno, maybe he wants to have this vision of an evil villain bad guy."

Kensi was sure her mouth was open, but she wasn't quite sure how to close it. She took a deep breath. She said, "Oh. I can look it up, what's the name?"

Ella patted Kensi's knee. It didn't feel condescending, Kensi thought. "Seriously, don't feel bad. He doesn't lie maliciously, he just, I dunno, he just rewrites shit. His life, he rewrites his life. Ugh, the name. So I have no idea. I know Marty changed his name, we talked about it when we were picking names. Gordon, his dad's first name was Gordon. Last name, last name." Ella squinted at the wall across from them. "Brandy? Brandel. It was Brandel. There you go."

"Wow," Kensi said. "That's a lot of information." That made sense with what she'd seen of Deeks.

"Sorry," Ella said. "Sorry. He'll be pissed I'm giving it all away." She smiled a little.

Kensi said, "No exes of yours blame him or hate him?"

Ella smiled again. "Marty's really my only ex. I like dating, I don't like settling down. I'm settled enough with Bea."

"I guess he tells you everyone he dates," Kensi said.

"Eh," Ella said. "Not realy. Only if it's serious, and that's been like twice? Once? Trainor, he really cared about her. But I feel like he's over her, like he's ready -"

Kensi laughed, her awful laugh Deeks hated. "He's been dating for the past three months."

"Yeah, but not seriously. I feel like he's getting ready to be open to something serious." Ella had a knowing smile and Kensi suddenly wondered what Deeks had told Ella about her.

Kensi said, "How did you two even meet?"

"Oh, I shouldn't tell you," Ella said. She smiled widely. "But I will." She laughed.

"So," Ella said. "I was on this video shoot, you know, get the hot 'hip hop' dancers to dance behind the not so tweener anymore so the video is edgy." She rolled her eyes. "After, she takes us all to this strip club, amateur night. All I really want to do is go home and sleep but that video paid well, and I could have used a tour, you know? So then she buys me a lapdance and guess who?"

Kensi covered her mouth so she didn't burst out laughing. She managed to say, "Oh my god."

Ella laughed again. "He used to do amateur nights once a month or every two weeks or so depending on his financial needs. College, law school. He's more cut now with all the cop stuff, but he's always been in pretty great shape, you know? So he has those pretty eyes, and that smile. It was a nice lapdance. And then when I finally left, I saw him outside smoking. And I smoked so I bummed one and I let him have my number. The rest is history, and Bea."

Kensi exhaled. "Wow. I had no idea."

Deeks made a noise and they both stood up. Kensi gestured for Ella to go in.

Later, while she and Deeks went over all his cop enemies, she paused and looked at the ceiling. She said, "Gordon Brandel died in 1998. Don't put him on your list."

Deeks stared at her. She couldn't read him, she didn't know him at all. He smiled and she thought it was forced. He said, "Ella. She does not keep secrets."

Kensi grinned. "Also, I hear you give a great lapdance."

"I am going to -," he laughed. "Okay, she was stressed."

"It does seem super unfair that I know about you, like I cheated," she said.

He shook his head. "It doesn't work like that."

She took a deep breath. "After my father died, I spent some time, I ran away. I was on the streets. So that's one."

"Kens," he said.

"Also I've been investigating my father's death and my mother is alive but I haven't talked to her since I was 15." She looked at her clammy, nearly vibrating hands. "That's two and we're even."

"Okay," he said, his voice serious. "Let's just table of all that. Maybe for a while."

"I like that idea," she said.

"But thanks. You didn't have to."

She nodded.

She came by the next morning with jello for Deeks as a way to say thanks for saving my life, which is after all, your job, but doing it while barely able to stand was above and beyond. Deeks already had a visitor. Beatrice was sitting next to him on the hospital bed with a computer tablet she was using to play a noisy game. Deeks was watching her, the definition of enrapt, rubbing the back of her neck. She left the jello with the nurses.

xx

Marty knocked on Kensi's door with his drinks and food. Kensi's place looked as messy as it had last time.

She said, "Don't you have Beatrice tonight?"

"Actually, no," he lied. He'd called Ella.

Kensi looked skeptical. "I think you're lying." But she walked back to slump on the couch.

They watched America's Next Top Model. He said, "I am never letting my daughter watch this show."

"Come on," Kensi said. "I don't think she'll absorb some bad ideas about, like body image or something." She sounded pleasantly buzzed so Marty considered that mission accomplished. He just wanted her to get that image out of her mind and her eyes back to normal. She'd surely seen someone killed in front of her, so had Marty but it wasn't something you got used to.

He said, "It's not that, it's that her aunt has told me and Ella in detail how much this show is bullshit. This is not how it works for models, for real."

"Oh my god, Ella's sister. Is a real model for real!"

"You're funny," Marty said.

Kensi laid her head back on the couch. She had a strong chin and a lovely profile. She sighed. "I thought Asher was funny."

"Me, too," he said.

She leaned forward and then sideways so her head was on his shoulder. She said, "You're funny. I'd be very upset if anything happened. To you."

"I would be very upset if anything happened to you," Marty said. He eased himself out of from under her. He had a ton of experience in that from Bee. He was well practiced and very adept.

"You're don't want to be my pillow," Kensi said. She sat up straight. "I get it."

"It's not you, it's me," he said. Marty did not want to get a hard on for his partner, literally. He sort of half already did but then he thought about the probable state of her cabinets and refrigerator. It was incredibly un-sexy he was sure.

Kensi smiled and sat back again. "It's okay. I drool when I sleep." She covered her mouth. "I didn't say that." she mumbled.

"I heard it," he said, laughing. He scooted away from her. He waited until she fell asleep and covered her with a blanket. Then he drove himself home.

xx

Marty looked over the front seat to Ray. "Time to get out, man."

"Wait," Ray said. "I can't."

Kensi said, "You aren't really allergic to the squibs, are you?"

Ray snorted. "No. No. Just, okay, Marty. My girlfriend's pregnant. I just found out this morning. Man, you know what this means to me. I want this, like you have. You said family only, but she is family. She will be."

Marty rubbed his forehead. He'd never let Nicole know he had a kid and Ray had found out accidentally. But it was nice having Ray know, Ray was one of the few people who knew him. He sighed. He said, "Kensi, let's head back to the boatshed. Maybe Hetty can work something out."

"Thank you, Marty. I owe you everything."

"You really don't," Deeks said. He looked over at Kensi and they drove back to the boatshed.

xx

Kensi got out of the car when they reached Deeks's place. She was mad and bewildered. Hetty had resigned? Someone else was in charge? She said, "Callen is freaking out."

"As are you," he said. He opened the door and reached down to stop Monty from rushing outside. He deftly grabbed the leash hanging on the back of the doorknob. He put his bag down and pulled the door closed. "Come walk the dog with me," he said. "Not a euphemism."

She sighed but she did it. Deeks just hummed at Monty while the dog ambled around. "Monty had a good day," Kensi said.

"Yes, he did," Deeks said. "Hey, so does Hetty do this resigning thing a lot?"

"No, no," Kensi said. "She doesn't resign willy nilly. Something must be going on."

"Or she's old and ready to retire and didn't want a big send-off and a drawn out goodbye," Deeks said.

"I don't believe it," Kensi said. "It's not like her."

"Okay," Deeks said. "I trust your gut."

She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you. For not trying to talk me out of this."

"You know her better than I do," Deeks said.

"I think she likes you more," Kensi said, laughing.

"I'm extremely lovable," Deeks said.

She looked down so he couldn't see her smile of agreement. She was not getting involved with her single daddy hot ass partner. She was not.

xx

They got back from Romania and Kensi drove Deeks to his apartment. He looked down at his phone and said, "Good, good, drive me to Ella's place." He was smiling.

"You get Bea," Kensi said.

"Get isn't the right term, but yeah, even though I disappeared from view and went flying overseas and got shot at a lot and missed some time I was supposed to spend with her, I can indeed pick up my little girl right now. And if you could then drive us back, since my truck is here." He paused and laughed. "Or I could get out of your car and do it myself which makes way more sense since you don't have a carseat."

"Right," Kensi said. As he got out of the car, she grabbed his hand. "Wait."

He looked at her with that soft look in his eyes that went straight to her panties. He probably gave a really good lapdance even now. She said, "I would, um, I would have gone with the wife thing back there, but, I thought, in the moment, it would be too distracting. For you."

"For me?" He grinned. "For you."

"For me," she said. She was feeling a little brave, and a lot crazy. "For me."

She tugged on his hand and he also leaned in so they practically collided. Then they were kissing, his hands in her hair and she had to unbuckle her seatbelt so she could shift closer and how did someone who just got off that long of an airplane flight smell so hot?

He stepped back and rubbed at his mouth. "Okay, wait. We don't. I think this might be a bad idea."

"Oh," Kensi said.

"For good reasons," he said.

"You have good reasons it's a bad idea to make out with me," Kensi said. She got it. She did.

"I could not, Kensi, you are a force of nature and incredibly hot and I am not going to be able to just have anything casual with you and you don't want to be a stepmom or anything, clearly, so that's my baggage and I'm sure you don't want that," he said. He licked his lips, cruelly.

She exhaled. She said, "I like Bee, I don't hate kids."

"I know," Deeks said. He was already backing away.

"Okay, you're right," she said. "We would not be casual. And we are very good partners. Totally."

"Totally," he said. He moved very quickly and kissed her again, along with a grope of the breast. "Sorry, one last time. You know you're hot."

"Okay," Kensi said. She watched him drive away. "Okay," she said. She needed to go inside to her apartment. "Okay." She got out.

xxx

Marty watched Bea on the floor, on her tummy, drawing very earnestly. She was into it. She didn't even look up when there was a knock at the door.

"Hi," he said, opening the door to Kensi. "It's been, hey, 16 hours since I saw you."

"I was thinking, you know. I was thinking that I don't agree with you about your baggage and how clearly I don't want that. I'm a little angry you think you get to decide that." She stood in front of him, not moving, arms crossed.

"Then I undecide. Sorry to make you angry. But I think my point stands." He moved aside so she could storm into the apartment but she stayed on what Marty called his mini porch, which was nothing like a porch. It was a slightly raised from the sidewalk entrance way.

"I really like you," she said. "I don't, I have not said that to someone, a guy, in a long time."

"Please say you've said it a woman and there's video," Marty said quietly.

"Shut up," she said. "That was hard for me."

"I know," he said. "I like you. But what are we supposed to do with that?"

She uncrossed her arms and stepped closer. He could smell her shampoo. "We should take a chance."

"Look at you," he said. He grabbed her hands. "I have no idea what happens next."

"I think we go inside and hang out with you and your kid and show you I don't hate kids and especially not yours. And then I don't know. I think you have to decide something." She looked at him, all pleading eyes and gorgeous hair. "This has been a lot of boldness for me."

"I know," he said. "You should definitely come inside. Let's go from there."