Author's Note: Takes place after "The Climb" - Alternate Universe

"All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. However, a path without a heart is never enjoyable. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy — it does not make a warrior work at liking it; it makes for a joyful journey; as long as a man follows it, he is one with it." - Carlos Castaneda

Star City 2020

It was late, but Felicity was determined to take her walk. Sometimes keeping in shape became a real challenge when you were a working mom. Ray was always using the home gym before she even wanted to think about being awake, but he was always there to climb into the shower with her. Felicity just couldn't do the full on gym thing. She was more of the walking and exercise video type of person. The area where she lived was the safest in the whole city and even late at night with a two year old in a stroller, so why not use it to her advantage?

"Mama! Look!"

Felicity stopped and crouched down next to the stroller as she looked in the direction that her daughter was pointing. "That's Mommy and Daddy's work," she said with a smile.

"Pammer Tech," Liv said.

"Palmer Technologies," Felicity told her. "You are correct!" They only stopped for a moment before going back to their walk.

Five years had passed and Starling City had gone through a huge overhaul. Not only had it been rebranded as Star City, but it was all so much safer. Even the Glades had gone from a half demolished ghetto to a prosperous middle class district. The crime rate was almost as low as unemployment. It had also been named one of the top ten safest places to live the past two years in a row. Ray and Palmer Technologies had made all of that happen. Felicity had never imagined this was what her life would be like.

Felicity had finally married Ray, he'd proposed numerous times. It had taken her over two years for her to not only accept Oliver's death, but also to allow herself to completely love another man. Now, they were happily married with four girls. They lived within walking distance of the company building in a huge penthouse suite. Ray had made sure that they all had the best of everything and Felicity couldn't believe on a daily basis how phenomenal of a dad Ray was to their girls.

Pausing, Felicity suddenly felt like she was being followed. She looked around, but didn't see anyone or anything out of the usual or suspicious. Her eyes moved upward along the building she was walking next to and her eyes suddenly widened, but when she blinked there was nothing there.

Tears ran down her face and she immediately started to dial Ray, her handsfree clip already in place. She felt like throwing up as she stared upward, but there was still no familiar silhouette which she had swore was just there moments before.

A ghost.

"Felicity?"

She couldn't breathe.

"Felicity?"

"H-h-hi," she managed to force out.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

His tone was hitting concerned and pushing towards worried. It broke her out of her shock enough to speak again. "I-I um… I thought I saw someone…but it must have just been my imagination."

"But you're okay?"

Sucking in a deep breath, Felicity started to push the stroller again. "Yeah…sorry…it just…startled me… I'm right around the corner."

"Want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"If you're not busy," she said quietly.

"You know I'm never too busy for you," Ray told her. They were both quiet for a moment. "Etta's already in bed," he spoke up to break the silence. "Clara and Alex are up reading." There was a short pause. "Is Liv still awake?"

Felicity peeked at the blonde two year old in the stroller. "Sleepy, but awake."

"Good," Ray told her. "I wanted to read her that new book tonight."

He was so sweet like that. Ray was the kind of dad that sat down and helped with homework, read books with the girls, colored pages of ponies and rainbows, played dress-up and tea party, and listened to all the school drama that seemed never ending. Felicity felt comforted just listening to his voice and thinking that home was just minutes away.

"You still there?" Ray asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I was just thinking about how lucky I am…"

"I'm really the one who's lucky," Ray told her, she could practically hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "I have the best wife and the greatest girls… You five make me the happiest man in the world…"

Felicity was beaming. She got to their building and the doors were opened for her by the building's doorman. Pushing Liv in the stroller through the doors, she smiled a bit brighter when she found Ray standing there in the lobby with the phone up to his ear. Both of them ended their call and quickly closed the distance between them. Felicity felt weight lifted off of her, all of the worry just dissipated. She'd almost forgotten why she'd even panicked. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," Ray echoed as he kissed her, his arm wrapping around her and holding her tight. After a moment, they walked to the elevator, pushing the stroller along as they went. Felicity honestly didn't know how her life would have been different if she hadn't chosen the path she had. Would she have been able to handle it? Felicity didn't think that any other choice would have made her as happy as she was now with Ray and the girls.

"Please tell me that after reading to Liv that you and I can crack open a bottle of wine," Felicity said as they entered the elevator. Of course she was going to drink a huge bottle of water once she got home, but a glass of wine and just relaxing with her husband sounded so good.

Ray pressed the button for the top floor. "I pulled out that cheap blue bottled stuff you love so much," he told her before kissing her forehead. "AND I stopped and picked up something special for dessert for us on the way home."

"Only for us?"

"I might have brought the girls home a box of those chocolate donuts for breakfast tomorrow that you hate them having," Ray said slowly. He shrugged for a moment. "I figured occasionally it wouldn't hurt them. Plus, we'll get them on a sugar high and send them off to school…sounds like a win-win to me."

He was right.

They had four girls: two, ten, thirteen, and fourteen. They were all really good kids, but sugar just tended to make them all bounce off the walls and talk a mile a minute. Plus, Felicity swore the sugar made the eldest two somehow end up having a more dramatic day (which she and Ray would later have to listen to when they got home). They really didn't need sugar to help them in the drama department as it was.

"You're right," Felicity finally spoke up. "Plus, it'll be a nice start to their Friday."

"That's what I was thinking."

The elevator was moving upwards and Felicity couldn't wait to be back in the comfort and safety of their home. She'd accepted that all she'd seen out there had been a flash of her imagination. Nothing more. It was just her mind playing a cruel trick on her. IT had been some time since hooded vigilantes had roamed rooftops.

"I can go put Liv down if you want to shower?" Ray suggested as they exited the elevator.

That sounded SO nice to her. It wasn't that often where she or Ray were able to shower (or be in the bathroom at all for that matter) in peace without someone knocking on the door or trying to have a conversation through the door…or even having their phones blown up with texts that only seemed urgent to their teens.

"You know," Felicity said slowly as she continued to think about it. "I think I'll sit with Liv and listen to that story…and then after, maybe you'll be willing to wash my back?"

"You have one of those sponges on a stick," Ray teased.

"Those things don't quite reach all the right places."

He leaned in and kissed her again. "Anything you want," Ray told her. He moved to open the all weather cover and then unbuckled Liv from her stroller before unzipping her jacket before pulling it off. Ray pulled the blonde little girl out of the stroller and kissed her cheek. "How's Daddy's tiniest angel?" he asked.

"Mama…me…walked!" Liv exclaimed.

"Oh, I know…" Ray told the two year old, he sounded like he was seriously invested in the conversation.

"Pammer Tech!" Liv continued.

"Oh yeah? You saw the company, did you?" Ray continued as he carried her in the direction of her room with Felicity following after them. "Maybe I'll have to come on your exciting walks with Mommy more often!"

"Et-tah!"

"Oh? You want us to bring Etta, too?" Ray shrugged. "Not sure she's going to be up for that… I think she finds doing math more interesting."

"Clar-rah!"

"And Clara?!" Ray exclaimed.

Liv quickly added, "Al-ex!"

"Wow… I don't know if we're going to get Clara and Alex to give up reading time for walking… I'm pretty sure they both complain that we make them walk everywhere already. Not sure I'm willing to force them to walk more with you, me, and Mommy."

Felicity just smiled as she listened to them. This was part of their nightly routine. Every night, Felicity would bathe Liv and then bundle her up and they'd go for their walk before coming home to the house be read to until she fell asleep. She helped Ray remove her shoes and socks before they tucked her into bed. Settling next to her youngest daughter on the bed, Felicity wrapped her arm around her and got comfortable. Ray sat on the edge of the bed on the other side with the new book he'd picked up for Liv.

Each of the girls had their own room, even though she and Ray sometimes wondered if Clara and Alex really needed their own rooms. Liv's was probably the most girly. It was pink with flowers and butterflies as its theme. She had a dress-up little wardrobe of fancy princess dresses and all of the accessories. Though, they certainly didn't only expose her to those pretty pink princess-y things, even at two they were trying to introduce as many educational things as possible in order to further Liv's knowledge base. With her already ahead of the average development curve, they wanted to make sure that they provided Liv with every opportunity now and in the future.

"New book!" Liv cheered as she clapped her hands together.

"This one is called 'Where The Wild Things Are'," Ray said and then started to make growling sounds, which only made Liv giggle. Suddenly his voice got quite serious. "The night that Max wore his wolf suit…and made mischief of one kind…and another."

"Puppy!" Liv said as she pointed to the picture.

By the end of the book, Liv had fallen asleep. She'd had a long day between daycare and playing at home with her older sisters plus the relaxing bath and walk…it was nice that she wasn't fighting sleep or just super grumpy. Her falling asleep so peacefully always meant that she and Ray had a much better rest of the night. They kissed her and said their goodnights before leaving the room.

Carefully, they closed Liv's door until it was just to the one inch mark. There was a nightlight in her room, so they didn't have to worry about her waking up and being scared or not being able to see. Liv normally stayed in bed, but they didn't want one of the other kids to accidentally wake her. All along the hallway that contained all of the bedrooms were pictures of all of the kids. Pictures that spanned their whole lives and each bedroom door had their name on it. It was Felicity's favorite part of the house because to her, it told a story, it told THEIR story.

Peeking in on Etta, they found her fast asleep, her dark hair perfectly braided. Felicity was certain that one of the older girls had to have helped the ten year old with it, since she hadn't mastered braiding quite yet. Etta could do high school level math, but she couldn't braid her own hair. She definitely had a unique skill set. Her room was a light purple and the main theme in her room centered around her black and white zebra striped bed set.

"Two down, two to go," Ray whispered as they closed her door and made their way down the hall.

Felicity just smiled as they moved on. The next room they opened belonged to Clara, it was dark and vacant. Her room had light pink walls with one black wall and it was decorated as a Paris theme. Even though they could pretty much go whenever they wanted whenever they wanted, they had the money, they hadn't yet made it to Paris. What Clara didn't know is that they already had a plan to go to Paris as a family for Clara's fourteenth birthday. With no girls in that room, that meant that the eldest two were in Alex's room.

Sure enough, both girls were in pajamas while sitting on Alex's bed reading. They were both reading completely different books, but they were quiet and happy. This was how they always were, when they weren't talking a mile a minute they were content just to be in each other's presence. Alex's room was louder than the others, all of the walls were a clean white except one wall that was a splash of bright color in a teal/sky blue tone. One wall contained a collage of lime green and matching teal/sky blue colored frames with photographs. Neither girl acknowledged their presence, but this really wasn't anything new.

"Fifteen more minutes," Felicity announced.

The girls suddenly looked over at them and were obviously not happy. They were never happy when their reading was interrupted. "But Mom!" Clara complained.

"Can't we have like another hour?" Alex requested.

"School tomorrow," Ray reminded. "And you girls need your rest…"

"But I'm at the most exciting part!" Clara told them.

Felicity smiled. "And it'll be just as exciting when you read it over breakfast."

"I picked up chocolate donuts," Ray brought up.

Both girls closed their books and looked even happier. "The kind that Mom doesn't let us have?"

"Those are the ones!"

The girls squealed for a moment before hugging. "Okay, love you…sleep well and see you in the morning," the girls said together.

With that, they separated and Clara hugged them both quickly. "I love you guys!" Clara beamed before hurrying to her bedroom.

Felicity smiled as she watched her hurry out. Clara was always the most affectionate one. She turned back to Alex and could tell that something was off. She moved to sit on the edge of Alex's bed and looked back at Ray. "Do you mind if she and I talk for a couple of minutes?"

Ray nodded and smiled. "Okay…I'll make sure Clara isn't trying to sneak donuts and meet you in our room," he said. "Night, Alex."

"Night Dad," Alex said with a smile.

They waited until Ray left and the door was closed before Felicity looked at their eldest. "What's up?"

"You know you're getting way too good with this whole…Mom…thing," Alex said as she motioned in a circle to Felicity.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Felicity told her quickly and beamed a bit. She liked feeling like she was good at being a mom. Sometimes that was hard when you had two teenagers and a pre-teen. She figured that if she could survive that…then she could definitely survive having a toddler…because eventually Liv would be a teenager…and it was likely going to happen far too quickly.

Alex was quiet for a long moment. "I just… I feel like sometimes I take you guys for granted or something," she explained. "I mean…Clara and Etta—"

"Hey, we are ONE family," Felicity said quickly. "I don't want you to forget that or think that I don't love you just as much as I love Clara or Etta or Liv…" She pushed a stray strand of blonde hair away from Alex's face. "You're my daughter and nothing is ever going to change that…"

"You sure?"

"I'm positive."

"What if I had purple hair?"

Felicity grinned. "Maybe purple streaks," she told her. "I went through a…phase, I guess I might call it…thinking back…" She ran her fingers through her ponytail. "I had black hair and purple streaks…"

"Wow… Mom was a rebel…"

"But it wasn't really who I was."

"Why did you change?"

Felicity thought about it for a moment. Her first response was going to be because of Cooper's death, but she'd found out years later that Cooper actually hadn't died. That had all been a lie. "Something bad happened… I realized that I wasn't that bad girl persona that I had…" She smiled at the thought of it all. If that had never happened, she likely wouldn't be there now. She would have a different life. "And I wouldn't change that…"

"Okay, there HAVE to be pictures," Alex said as she wrapped her arms around Felicity and laid her head on her shoulder. "Who do I need to call?"

"Oh no, no pictures…"

Alex practically squealed as she sat up and turned to look straight at Felicity. "Oh my god! Are you telling me that Dad hasn't even seen them?"

She was going to regret telling Alex about this. She had just wanted to explain to her that hair didn't make you who you were…and sort of instill in her that people changed and so did feelings. "No…or at least, he hasn't said anything."

"Nan has to have some!"

"We really don't need them—"

"C'mon! We have NO pictures of you when you were little…"

"I was in college."

"Excellent!" Alex enthused. "Now I'll know the exact timeframe to ask for pictures from Nan for!" She grinned. "I'll just tell her it's for a school project…"

Felicity sighed. She knew that she shouldn't be embarrassed or anything, but her past…was her past. There were a lot of moments and time periods that she was glad were over and gone. Some that had stained her life and others that had left her wounded.

"Didn't you write on the calendar that she's visiting next week? Cuz…we all know how she is with technology… I think it took us like an hour last time to customize ringtones…"

Her mother hadn't changed at all. There was something endearing about it and some things that just drove Felicity crazy. Ray had actually offered to have her live with them when they'd first moved into the penthouse. That's why he'd made sure it had at least five bedrooms. They'd planned on having Clara and Alex share a room, but her mother had turned down the offer. Felicity didn't think that her mother could easily just give up working, or at least not just like that.

"Okay, well… You can text Nan in the morning, but right now…bedtime," Felicity told her.

"Mom?" Alex said as she climbed under her covers and reached to turn off the light.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiled at her. "I love you too, Sweetheart."

Ray was already in their room when she finally left Alex's room. She took a few minutes to check again on the girls before checking their doors to make sure they were locked. They had an insane security system and the building was likely the safest in the whole city, but Felicity couldn't help herself…she couldn't sleep without checking for herself.

Maybe your past lives never left you.

Even Star City was no longer Starling City and the Glades, Felicity still remembered it. How it used to be. How the streets had been filled with blood. How Slade Wilson had set out an army of Mirakuru soldiers to take over the city. How Malcolm Merlyn had leveled half of the Glades with his Undertaking. How Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins had laid siege to the city for a time. All of that was in the past, but sometimes…it felt like it was yesterday.

She stopped in the living room and stared at a couple of pictures she'd put up when they'd first moved in, Felicity's finger caressed the side of the frame and she tried to keep from crying at the memory. It was a picture of her, Oliver, and John. It had been back in the early days…they'd all been smiling in the picture, even Oliver. She missed them. The other picture beside it was John, Lyla, and Sara when she'd just been born. Another picture of their family, more current was right nearby. She missed them. And Roy. Roy had left when they'd all agreed to just disband things. Without Oliver, things just hadn't been the same. They'd held together for a short while… Ray had even tried out his ATOM suit, but once Ra's and the League had been banished from Starling City…it just wasn't needed. The city transformed to Star City…and it was like a chapter of her life had just been slammed shut.

Ray had been there.

Felicity hadn't been quite the same after Oliver hadn't come back, she'd struggled, but Ray…and their family that had slowly formed…they'd changed everything for her.

"Hey… You okay?"

Turning, she saw Ray standing at the edge of the room. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just—"

"You miss them…"

"Sometimes," Felicity admitted as her fingers left the frame with her, John, and Oliver.

"Where are all of them? Maybe we could go for a visit?" Ray offered.

He was so sweet. Too sweet. "John's overseas right now…they were moving around for his and Lyla's jobs."

"They work like for the military or something, right?"

Felicity nodded. They were both working for ARGUS and were located in Germany six months ago. That was the last e-mail she'd gotten. "Yeah."

"And didn't you say Oliver moved to China or something?"

It was a lie.

It was a huge lie.

"Someplace that sounds like panda something," Felicity mumbled as she looked back at the picture. Oliver had left to go fight Ra's al Ghul at some unknown to them location. It hadn't been Nanda Parbat, but it might as well have been Atlantis for all they knew. His body had been unrecoverable and Felicity had never felt like she'd gotten real closure in regards to his death.

"Panda something?"

Felicity looked back over at him and shrugged. "I haven't heard from him since he moved… His cell number no longer works… Hasn't ever returned e-mails. It's like he dropped off the planet."

"Like Roy?"

"I think he said he might be in Blüdhaven…"

"If you miss them so much, then why don't we look them up tomorrow?"

She wanted to.

Felicity wanted to think that she could type in their names and she'd get locations for all three men that she used to think of as 'her guys'. The truth was, it was likely that none of them would ping any current residential addresses. "Maybe I'll do that," she said quietly and a bit sadly before she made her way over to him. Felicity linked her arms through his. "Let's go to bed."

Instead of just walking down the hall, though, Ray decided it was necessary to pick her up and carrying her down the hall to their bedroom. "I have things all ready for us…but we're taking a shower first, right?"

Leaning in, Felicity kissed him as her hand rested on his cheek. "You're the best husband."

"I take it that I got that order correct."

Felicity just stared at him for a long while. "You know how I always complain whenever you want us to randomly go on vacation for a week—"

"Month."

"Two weeks?"

"Yes," Ray said with a smile as they made it to their room.

"Let's go… This weekend… Or just soon…" Felicity was hoping that getting away and having some family time somewhere else would take her mind off of the past. Most of the time, she was fine living in the present and really not even thinking about the past except here and there. She didn't want to dwell on it, she couldn't change it. That silhouette, though, had shaken her a bit and she couldn't quite let it go.

"How about Switzerland?"

"I miss Switzerland."

"We can figure out the details tomorrow," Ray told her as he set her down in the bathroom.

Felicity's hands cupped his face and took him for another kiss as his hands ran along her body. Her eyes closed and she tried to shut out every other thought. Right now, she just had to focus on them and relaxing for the night so that she could sleep. A shower, dessert, wine, and time with her husband was definitely going to get her there.

Later That Night…

Felicity's hair was still damp against her bare shoulders, she was just wearing a light blue, short satin nightgown with white lace accents that had tiny string-like straps that held it in place. She was cuddling with Ray in bed as they ate the giant chocolate covered strawberries he'd brought home and drank the wine that she loved so much. It wasn't expensive and it wasn't the best kind, but it was just so good… It was a sparkling moscato and often she liked it better than the more expensive stuff.

"So, were you sure about Switzerland?" Ray asked after a long silence.

She nodded. "We work a lot…and neither one of us take enough time for vacation. This time, we definitely need to make that time…just not more than two weeks…"

"We've been talking about going to Paris for Clara's birthday in the fall…I was thinking that when we do that." Ray paused for a moment. They were already in agreement about that trip. It would be a memorable birthday and it would be good for the whole family. "I think we should take two months off… Celebrate Clara's birthday month in France and then go to London and celebrate Alex's over there."

"Two months?" Felicity asked and she thought that was a little silly. Though, as she thought about it, she knew that it wasn't easy to really see everything and feel like they weren't being rushed unless they took the time.

"I'm sure I could find a way to make it somehow business orientated at one point, if that's what you absolutely need to hear," Ray told her.

She sighed. This was THEIR family and the two of them worked too much as it was. "No… You're right… We need to do this… The girls are going to be fourteen and fifteen…and Alex…" She thought about whether it was appropriate or not to tell Ray about how Alex was feeling. "Alex is feeling like maybe she doesn't belong so much… I think that's why she's been so quiet lately… Like maybe we don't love her as much as Liv."

Three years before, Felicity and Ray had been in Central City on business. They'd been attending an event for charity. Ray's sister and brother-in-law had recently moved to Central City only a year before, so they all went. Something had happened… There had been a bomber. They had targeted the charity event, even though they'd caught the bomber…and Barry had saved as many as he could…the reasoning behind the devastation had never been explained.

That night, over two hundred people had lost their lives with only about fifty making it out alive. She and Ray had been lucky. Ray's sister, Ella, and her husband, Paul, had both perished on site. They'd left behind Clara and Etta, in their will they'd asked Ray to take them. Their parents hadn't been the only ones to die, though. Alex's father, Bernard, had died as well and without any other family that was willing to take her. Clara had pled with him to take Alex, who had become her best friend in Central City. He and Felicity had been able to get legal arrangements in place for them to 'foster' Alex until the legal system and the orphaned girl could consider adoption; knowing Detective West and Barry in Central City along with Captain Lance and Laurel as a DA in Starling City Felicity was sure had helped vet them. It had taken a full year, but by then he and Felicity had decided to get married…and she LOVED those girls as if they were her own. She remembered the first week Ray had taken them in, she'd stayed with him and the girls…she'd made sure that they had everything and just been there… Liv had been born the year that they'd gotten married, but Felicity never ever thought of Alex, Clara, or Etta in any other way than as their girls.

"Maybe we should do something special for them now?" Ray offered.

"Let's do Switzerland in the next week for two weeks," Felicity told him. "And then let's plan on going somewhere with beaches…or a cruise that's teen-friendly during the summer," Felicity suggested. Alex and Clara were extremely well behaved and extremely good at understanding the importance of safety. All three of the older girls had taken self defense and retook the class every year. Felicity felt like it was important, no matter how safe Star City was.

"Isn't there a spa that you three like?" Ray asked.

Felicity tilted her head. "And exclude Etta?"

"Can't she go?"

"She's not old enough, I don't think…"

"Give me the number, I'll make it happen."

Felicity shook her head as a huge smile spread across her face. Sometimes it drove her crazy at how Ray used his power and his money to get what he wanted. He always did it for good, though, and for the good of their city.

"What?" he asked with a smile.

"You spoil us…"

"I can't spoil my girls? My wife?"

"It's not that, it's just that—"

"After two years being married, you still have a hard time…"

"I will probably ALWAYS have a hard time with it."

Ray just smiled at her. "I was thinking that maybe your mom could come with us on some of these trips… Has she ever seen Paris or London before?"

"Only the versions in Las Vegas."

"So, she definitely has to come…because those really don't count," Ray said slowly after cringing at her response.

Smiling, she sighed. "I'll ask her…"

"Think of it this way, we'd have a built in babysitter, too.. If we ever wanted a night alone," Ray pointed out. "Unless we want to bring along an assistant or a nanny person…or what other word have I heard them use?" He was quiet for a moment. "Au pair?"

"No…no need for any of that!"

Ray smiled. "So… We have plans, right?"

"Yes."

"Spa for everyone except Liv. I'll call it in," he kissed her and just smiled at her. "You know… You're Felicity Palmer. You could technically do the same thing I'm going to be doing…"

"But you're so much better at it."

"That's true," he admitted as he thought about it for a moment. "Okay, so spa before our Switzerland trip. A beach or cruise getaway this summer…and then two months between France and the UK in the fall?"

"Sounds right."

"You know, I was even thinking that they might have some study programs aboard for the girls," Ray told her.

"Oh yeah, I'll let you bring that one up to the girls…" She grinned. "We're going for your birthdays to experience the world…and also, I arranged for you to have school while we're there."

"They LOVE knowledge!"

"I know," Felicity said. "But not ALL of the time."

"Really?"

"They zone out all the time at dinner whenever you get really excited about a project and go on and on about it," Felicity reminded. "Maybe we can find like something educational…or an online class or something. I'm sure their academy would have ideas or connections."

"Good point."

Ray pulled her close and kissed her again. "Okay…another glass of wine and then we both need to remember what sleep is."

"Maybe we need a vacation for that."

"I think it's supposed to be called the weekend…"

"Parents don't get weekends."

"That explains so much," he said with a smile as he played along.

TBC…