The rain comes down one, large, threatening drop at a time. I've never been one to be afraid, especially with something as simple as water, but after the months I spent being tortured in the Capitol I think I've earned this one. I run my hand through my short, spiky hair; another reminder of my time there. It's now long enough where the bald spots have filled in and I can actually look like a functioning citizen of Panem. I lace my black, worn-in boots up giving them a secure tug before standing.

Annie must be at her parent's because the house is lacking a certain crying tiny human. Mason, something Finnick had made Annie promise him before he never came back, is a spitting image of his father. I swear sometimes he will smirk at me and it's like Finnick is in the room. My job is to make sure Mason grows up understanding how brave and amazing his father truly was. 'I miss him so much.'

I crack my neck from side to side, careful of my left where the kind folks of District 13 removed my shattered rib before it could puncture anything important like a vital organ. Every once and awhile, especially stormy days like today, the nerves in my shoulder and chest throb to remind me; I however bury the pain and memories as deep as emotionally possible. The only physical reminder is the forearm length scar running from my clavicle to my inner arm. Not my only scar but certainly the worst cosmetic reminder of my lovely stay in the Capitol.

I haven't ran in the rain since Katniss…since Everdeen was here less than a few months ago. She pushed me to understand that the rain wouldn't hurt me, that Snow couldn't do anything to me now, that we were all safe. But then she up and left just leaving a few scribbled words on a piece of paper for me to find the next morning. She couldn't do 'this' anymore and ran back to bread boy.

I take a deep breath, like my head doctor tells me to, and resist the urge to go to 12 and kill him. It's not his fault; we owe him our lives and I'm not too proud to admit that. I just can't understand why she felt like he deserved her. He's basically two different people now, a product of the torture he endured in the cell next to mine. I could hear him going nuts and I'm thankful that they only made me deathly afraid of water. You can avoid water more than you can avoid the multiple voices in your own head.

I reach in my closet blindly and my hand comes in contact with a smooth, almost tarp-like material. "Fuck." She left it, in the back of my closet. She probably doesn't even realize it's still here because she left in such a hurry. I pull out the black jacket she wore in her first Games. Parts of it have been singed off from the fireballs the Gamemakers used to push her toward the Careers. Other parts have dried blood and no way of telling it it's hers or another Tributes, like Rue's.

I hug what's left of it and realize it still smells like her. It also smells like me because she would make me wear it while we went out in the rain. Pine needles and coal dust; a scent that no other person would appreciate besides the two of us. I breathe in our mixed scent and close my eyes, quickly flashing to her naked body underneath mine in our once shared bed.

My eyes snap back open and I shake my head trying to rid the memories in the process. 'I cannot do this right now.' I throw the jacket around me noting the ill fit but being all too familiar with the body it was actually made for. I make my way to the front of the house and slowly open the door; I am hit with the punch of the salt coming off the ocean. It's quickly overpowered by the rain though and I find myself frozen in the door frame. I look around for her hand to guide me outside and to tell me it will be alright but she's not coming. I take one more deep breath and the rain starts pelting me like cold, harsh, individual reminders.

"My name is Johanna Mason. I survived two Games and aided in the Rebellion that freed us all. I was tortured because of my allegiance with the Mockingjay and the Rebellion. I was strapped to a chair sitting in a pool of dirty water. When they asked me a question and I told them to 'fuck off' they turned the switch that sent the highest voltage of electricity they could without killing me coursing through my body."

My thoughts start to drift; this is usually the part where my Mockingjay kisses me and pulls me back to District 4. Without her my mind is racing. 'Why did I think I was strong enough to do this on my own?' I need her. A large crack of light illuminates the sky and I crash to the ground in a panic.

"My name is Johanna…my name is Johanna Ma…my name is Johanna Maso…"

I am curled in a shaking ball while the rain comes down around me. Before I know it I am soaked through to my core and have thrown myself into a full blown panic attack. It's cold, I'm soaked, and I need her. The tears I start to cry blend in with the rain drops falling down my face. She makes me better, I need her. These are my last thoughts before I pass out. Well, that and the strong arms that have picked me up off the cold, wet ground.