(Professional Babysitters) Pepper/Nick Fury

I wasn't going to do anymore of these, but then I saw this pairing on ozhawk's poll of potential crackships and the idea just hit me. So… here you have it. Enjoy! Takes place post-Avengers, pre-CA:TWS.

Nick Fury's one good eye blazed as he looked over the row of adult children that the world liked to refer to as the Avengers – they were called superheroes, even – while he raged, "Nothing that happened today was acceptable! I have senators, representatives, the entire World Council, and the president of the United States blowing up my personal home phone lines! The better half of Hell's Kitchen is a winter wonderland, I have some peon law student trying to sue the lot of you for every cent each of you own, and the entirety of this country is now in a panic over Frosty the Snowman's deranged step-cousin!"

"I'm afraid that tracking the travels and plans of the Jotun people has proven particularly difficult for Asgardians and Midgardians alike," Thor broke in.

"And in all fairness," Captain Rogers added, "I think it's acceptable that there were no fatalities, only cases of frostbite."

"You took the creeps down with literal laser guns!" Nick roared.

"But we did take them out," Barton muttered.

At the same time, Dr. Banner declared sardonically, "Apparently a race of ice monsters are adverse to heat."

Nick forced himself to take a breath – he didn't want to be responsible for a Hulk-out, after all – before he seethed, "What do you people need? Therapy? Jail time? A full-time babysitter?!"

"We already have one of those," Stark sulkily declared under his breath.

Romanoff added, "And she's even on her way here right now."

He thought sourly, To pick up her miscreant teenagers?

Before he could say the words aloud, the click of heels on tile heralded the arrival of someone outside his office. A put-together woman that Nick recognized as Pepper Potts breezed in, declaring, "She's here now." She marched confidently up to Nick and shook his hand firmly, apologizing, "Sorry I'm late, director. I'm afraid I got held up in an SI meeting."

Nick froze, his big hand inadvertently tightening on her smaller one as he replied, "I understand. At least you're here now… and you're the Avengers professional babysitter."

Her jaw slackened for a split second before she answered, "So I've heard."

Stark caught on first to what was happening, yelling, "Oh, no way!" and cussing such a colorful blue streak that even Nick looked his way.

"Hey, Tony?" Pepper said conversationally.

Nick arched an eyebrow and chimed in with her, the two of them chorusing together, "Shut up."

Nick smiled, showing as much of his humanity as he dared in front of the Avengers, as he murmured to Pepper, "I think I'm going to like having you around, Miss Potts."

The director's soulmate shared none of his concerns about their audience as she suddenly wound her arms around his neck and kissed him, declaring, "You'd better."

He chuckled, throwing caution to the wind as he gave her a quick peck on the lips. Yeah, he was definitely going to enjoy having his soulmate in his life.

Although he got the feeling that it might come at the cost of becoming a professional Avengers' babysitter himself. For his soulmate, though… he decided he could learn to live with that.