Disclaimer: The Musketeers are not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.
Spoilers: 2.04 Emilie, 1.01 Friends and Enemies
A/N: The U.S. airing of episode 4 did not include the scene the quote is from, which takes place right after d'Artagnan and Constance discuss Milady. It's also important to note that this story takes place before Athos speaks to Milady out on the street later in the episode.
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"What are you going to do?"
"Drink."
"Want to be alone?"
"No."
~~~~~ d'Artagnan & Athos, 2.04 Emilie
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Chapter One: Progress
As d'Artagnan makes his way through the crowd to buy a bottle of wine for him and Athos to share, he marvels at the progress his best friend has made over the months he's known him.
Since Milady's surprise return, he, Aramis, and Porthos have been waiting for Athos to self-destruct and backslide into old habits, but that has not yet happened.
In the six months following Milady's exile, Athos has slowly gotten better over time. He seems lighter – the years of guilt, shame, and secrets seem to have been lifted from his shoulders. Athos is the pretty much the same man as he ever was, but with less alcohol flowing through his veins. He drinks less, rarely drinks alone anymore, and allows his brothers to be there for him when he becomes melancholy. It is a joy to see his friend finally living again.
It reminds him of a time not so long ago that Athos preferred to drink to excess and perfectly content to wallow in his miseries alone.
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It's barely a day since he first met the three Musketeers.
So much has happened in that time and in the past few days that he can barely wrap his head around it.
At the moment, he's just going with the flow and sitting in a tavern with the two Musketeers he'd teamed up with in order to save the Athos's life. Yesterday, he was accusing the man of killing his father, and today, they were celebrating successfully preventing him from dying at the wrong end of a firing squad.
Was it even possible to say that 'they' were celebrating, when the man you've saved is off on his own drinking bottle after bottle of wine?
He can understand needing a certain amount of time to come to grips with almost dying, but Athos had barely said more than a few pithy comments, before taking himself away to drink alone.
By the way Athos's friends are acting, it's obviously not an irregular occurrence for Athos to drink by himself or to drink to excess. Apparently, Aramis and Porthos take turns making sure their friend makes it home in one piece.
It's just another sign of how much these men care about each other. What d'Artagnan is curious about is if that caring stems from the fact that they are comrades-in-arms or that they are brothers, family by choice. Either way, he is certain that it was more than just duty that made the other two men at the table so determined to find evidence that would exonerate Athos.
That curiosity and these three men are what are drawing him towards the Musketeers. With the training his father had given him, he would probably be welcomed as a recruit into any of the regiments, yet it's the Musketeers he aspires to join. He wants to be a part of this brotherhood of soldiers and perhaps someday not feel so alone in the world.
In between hands of cards, d'Artagnan shifts his gaze towards Athos. Every time he looks over at the other man, he wonders how anyone can drink so much. He wonders why Athos would so willingly hold himself apart from friends who never once believed in his guilt and had risked their lives to save him.
The crowd in the tavern is raucous, and yet Athos seemed to be in his own, lonely world, so deep within his thoughts that it would take a canon to bring him back to the present. He recognizes some of the expressions that flicker across the older man's face, and guesses that they've crossed his face as well over the past few days. Athos has suffered tragic loss in his life, and he uses alcohol to forget – perhaps it might have something to do with the woman that Aramis mentioned earlier. Athos is trying to bear his burdens all on his own despite the fact that Aramis and Porthos would willingly walk through fire to help him.
It's getting very late when Porthos looks towards Athos's table and frowns. D'Artagnan follows the other man's gaze and sees that Athos has passed out cold with his head resting uncomfortably on the tabletop.
Porthos throws his cards down and abandons the pot of money that they'd been playing for to go to Athos. D'Artagnan quickly picks up the money, and by rights he could keep it all, but he feels that to be unfair since Porthos quit the game in order to help a friend. He decides to split the pot in half, though when it doesn't divide out equally, he does keep the extra coins since the rent won't pay itself.
By the time he's finished, Porthos has coaxed Athos into an upright position and is ready to carry the older man home. D'Artagnan holds out Porthos's half of the money to the larger man, who looks surprised to see it. Porthos smiles as he takes the money and pockets it before making his way out of the tavern, his arms keeping Athos from becoming one with the tavern floor.
They move several steps forward before Porthos turns back and says that he hopes they'll see him again. He won't deny how hopeful that statement makes him of the possibility that the three Musketeers might one day consider him a friend and fellow brother-in-arms. It hasn't even been that long since he met them, but he feels like he's known them for years.
D'Artagnan watches the two men leave, amused with Porthos's patience in dealing with a drunkenly boneless Athos. Certain that Porthos is perfectly capable of getting them both safely home to their lodgings, he heads towards his own.
He has been trailing them from a distance for a few minutes before d'Artagnan realizes that he's doing it. He follows their progress, watching both their backs as Porthos delivers Athos to his rooms. Once he makes sure that the man he had so recently helped to keep alive was safe, he continues on to the Bonacieux' residence.
He's pretty sure that Porthos had known that he had been following the two of them most, if not all, of the time, but he doesn't care. From the way the two men interacted, d'Artagnan thinks he now has the answer to his earlier question: It's a true brotherhood – both brothers-in-arms and brothers by choice – and he wants to be a part of it.
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Wine bottle and cups in hand, d'Artagnan is just in time to see Athos silently intimidate two men who look to be younger than him into giving up their table. He won't deny that he loves it when Athos does something like that.
They enjoy the wine in silence for a time, each of them taking interest in the comings and goings of the people crowded around them.
D'Artagnan is content to let the silence between them continue; they had never really needed a lot of words in order to forge and foster the bond that ran between them.
When he had been speaking with Constance, d'Artagnan had wondered how he was going to tell his friend about Milady's current status. He hated the fact that Athos had had to overhear Constance's news, but he was relieved to not have to tell the older man himself. There was no good way to tell your friend that his ex-wife was now the King's mistress.
He wondered at the thoughts that were running through Athos's head over that bit of news.
He wondered why Athos wasn't drinking as heavily as he would expect, given the situation.
He wondered something else too, but was uncertain whether or not he should broach the topic.
Milady knows how to play a long game, and d'Artagnan is reasonably certain that she is not done ruining Athos's life, so he needs to know that something. Refilling their cups, d'Artagnan asks Athos a question that he is reasonably certain that he wouldn't have dared to ask six months ago.
"Do you still love her?"
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To be continued.
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A/N: I had planned this to be much different in execution, but Athos refused to let d'Artagnan carry the entire story. :D
No beta; mistakes are inevitable in life.
Thanks for reading!