Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who has favourited and followed! I'm sorry this update has taken a while, but the end of university took a lot of effort, tears and sleepless nights. But, with any luck, I have finished all my assignments and, provided my calculations are correct, I should be finishing with a 2:1! Hopefully, for you guys, this should mean more regular updates but I can't make any promises!

Thanks to all those who reviewed and followed, especially those who have been following this story from the beginning! I love and appreciate all of you so much and I'm really excited to move to the end of Season Two and heading into Season Three! I have SO MUCH planned for all of these characters!

Hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'll try to have the next one out as soon as possible!

Chapter Fifty:
Becoming: Part One.

My parents moved out of town a month ago. They wanted to take me with them. My father stopped drinking and my mother made an effort to be at home more. Which meant that they noticed I was gone a lot more. They questioned me about my relationship with Wesley (that was a horribly awkward conversation), where I was so late at night and why I was always covered in bruises. In the end, I had to tell them the truth.

Which, they accepted surprisingly well. Most people know this is a weird town; they ignore it but it's a silent acceptance. They weren't thrilled about me having a destiny that meant I had a shortened lifespan but I think they were aware that there wasn't anything they could do. And after much discussion with myself and Wesley, they realised that the best place for me was here.

So, they put the house up for rent and moved to Santa Monica, and I moved into Wesley's spare room, permanently. The Council were currently in the process of transferring the paperwork from my parents to Wesley in terms of who was my legal guardian. It was a weird state of affairs but I was secretly thrilled. I didn't want to stay in the house where my brother was murdered, where we shared all our childhood memories. It was too painful. At Wesley's, I had no memory of Xander there. I wasn't even sure he'd been there before.

I'd only just started being able to step foot in the library again. Which is where I was that morning, with Miss Calendar, Wesley and the rest of the gang. Giles was absent, checking something that had been found on the outskirts of town; some type of tomb or obelisk artefact. The technopagan had managed to recreate the souling spell once more, despite Angelus' interference and now, we were finally going to tell the others we had it.

"I've got something to tell you all," Miss Calendar stated. Buffy turned to look at her, clearly distrusting. The rest of the library was silent, waiting for her to speak. "I've been able to recreate the souling spell that was used to curse Angel."

Buffy got to her feet, stunned. "How long have you had this?"

"I finished it last night. It took me a while."

"Why didn't you say anything? You're keeping secrets again, how can we trust you?" Buffy demanded and I stepped forward.

"I asked her not to say anything. Not until we knew for sure," I butted in.

"I mean, this is good. We can curse him again, right?" Cordelia asked. I didn't answer her, looking at Buffy who was pacing, wringing her hands together.

"Can you do the spell?" Buffy directed the question at Miss Calendar. She looked conflicted.

"I think so. It's a little bit out of my league but I think I should be able to," she explained.

"Why can't Becky do it?" Cordelia asked.

I shrugged. "My magic is focused more on elemental. This is out of my comfort zone, it's a different type of magic. And from what Miss Calendar has said, doing it inexperienced could be more dangerous."

"I could probably help with the spell," Willow piped up and I turned to her in surprise.

"What?"

She looked between me and Miss Calendar, sheepish. "Well, since… Xander died, I've been working with Miss Calendar to try and learn magic a bit. Just for protection spells, you know, trying to keep nasties out of where we don't want them?" she phrased the end of it like a question, looking from me to Miss Calendar.

Wesley cleared his throat, frowning. "Willow, this spell is very powerful. Magicks such as this, performing them might open a door you can't close."

"I don't want you being put in any danger either, Will," Buffy pointed out.

"And I don't want danger. Big 'no' to danger, but Miss Calendar and I might be the best people to do this," she explained. "To restore Angel."

I looked up at Willow in shock as Buffy nodded. I glanced from the pair before letting out a mirthless laugh.

"What?" Willow asked.

"Are you guys fucking serious right now? This spell can give Angel his soul, restore his humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle. Who gives a flying fuck?!" I snarled. Buffy looked down.

"I care," she murmured quietly and I scoffed.

"What a surprise."

"Becky, don't-" Willow started to say but I turned on her.

"Don't what? Angel is a murderer! You're expecting me to allow this to happen? To restore his soul after what he did to me, to Xander?"

"It isn't that simple," Buffy murmured.

"What? All is forgiven? 'Oh no, it's fine that you tormented me, and tortured my best friend and also killed my other best friend, but now that you're back to your old, broody self again, I can forgive you'. I can't believe any of you!"

Cordelia gets up from the table, sighing. "Becky has a point. And I know for a fact that Xander wouldn't want Angel restored," Cordelia pointed out and I reached for her hand, squeezing it. I could see the unshed tears in her eyes. Xander's death had hit her harder than anyone had realized it would. She'd been staying with me a lot, at Wesley's most nights.

"What happened to Angel wasn't his fault," Buffy murmured. "He never chose to lose his soul."

"No. Angel losing his soul was your fault. You released Angelus, accident or not. But what happened to Xander was Angel's fault. And if you re-ensoul him, I will kill him anyway and I will never forgive you."

Buffy's eyes began to fill with tears, and Willow moved to put an arm around her, looking at me reproachfully. I met her gaze, not even flinching.

"If you're not using the ensouling spell on Angelus, then who are you using it for?" Cordelia asked.

"We're giving Amy back her soul," I answered and Buffy looked at me in shock.

"How is that fair?!"

"Because my partner never killed anyone! She hasn't had a choice in anything, what with the sire's bond but she saved my life and she had the opportunity to kill Miss Calendar and she didn't! She tried to save Xander. Amy deserves to have her soul back. Angelus doesn't."

"You don't get to make that decision. It's not yours to make," Willow argued but I shrugged.

"You think Buffy should be allowed to make the decision? Because her judgement has been so good lately," I snapped.

"Why can't you just ensoul both of them?" Oz asked and I shook my head.

"We only have one orb of Thesulah and we can't get another one. They're far too rare. The other one was destroyed and they can only hold one soul at a time. And it's going to be used for Amy."

"That isn't fair. Angel doesn't deserve this," Buffy murmured quietly.

"Look, you can paint this any way you want. But if you re-ensoul Angel you will be throwing away my brother's memory and forgetting all about his murder so you can get your boyfriend back. And I will never forgive you for that." Buffy stared at me, hurt, before storming out of the library and Willow glared at me before heading to follow. I called her name and she turned back.

"You can't really be considering this? He murdered Xander," I pointed out and she shrugged.

"It isn't our choice. We didn't hold you accountable for what happened whilst you were possessed by the hyenas. Why is this any different?" She argued before leaving the library. I shook my head.

"I didn't kill anyone whilst I was a hyena. I just ate a pig," I muttered, turning back to everyone else left in the library with a sigh. "What'd you guys think?"

"I think you've greatly upset Buffy and Willow," Oz murmured, looking at me a bit reproachfully.

"I will not stand by and watch Angel be given a second chance. Not after what he's put us through," I said and Oz shrugged. "Right, when does Giles get back from this, museum-thingy?"

"Right now." I turned to see the elder Watcher walking in through the library doors and I nodded.

"What did the museum want?"

"There's this artefact that was found outside town. They wanted me to have a look at it. Apparently, I'm the leading expert in the town," Giles smirked, clearly proud of himself. I rolled my eyes as Miss Calendar moved to stand beside him, placing a hand on his arm.

"Did you see Buffy or Willow on your way in?" She asked and Giles shook his head, murmuring "no" and asking why.

"We had an argument about the ensouling spell. Buffy wants to resoul Angel," I explained and Giles looked conflicted, stammering.

"Well, I mean, I can understand why she'd want to-"

"But after everything that happened! After everything he's done, he doesn't deserve a second chance. He's a murderer."

"It isn't that simple. Not for Buffy," Giles said but I shook my head.

"She's a fool then. We resoul him and then what? We have no guarantee that he can stay cursed. What if he loses his soul again? Then we'll be in the same position we are now. We might lose someone else and I will not allow that to happen. I won't lose anyone else and the only way that can be guaranteed is to kill Angel."

Giles stared at me before sighing. "I can't deny that you have a point. What did Buffy think?"

I made a noise of hesitation, glancing over at Cordy and Oz, grimacing. Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Buffy was being sensitive about it and Becky was being extremely harsh. You know, the usual," Cordelia shrugged. I winced as Giles turned to me, glaring.

"Becky, you could've been at least a little supportive," he chided and I shrugged.

"Well, I wasn't. I'm not very good at being supportive of people who condone my brother's murder," I snapped and Giles sighed but didn't say anything else.

"Right, well, I best start looking into this artefact. See what all the commotion is," Giles said and Wesley stated he'd help. "The rest of you, I suggest you go to your classes and whatever else you have going on."

We left the library, Cordelia sticking close to me and I put a comforting arm around her.

"How're you feeling about this?" I asked and she sighed.

"I don't know. I'm really sick and tired of looking over my shoulder every time I go to my car or the Bronze and I think it'd be hard to ever forgive even Angel for what happened," she stopped in the corridor, turning to face me. "But I can't help but feel sorry for Buffy. And Willow does kinda have a point; Angel and Angelus are different people." She held a hand up as I opened my mouth to argue. "I'm not suggesting we resoul Angel. You do have a point, Amy deserves her soul back more. I'm just saying I can understand why Buffy and Willow are upset."

She walked away and I thought about that for a second before shaking my head. I knew why there were upset, I just didn't see how they could still care for a murderer. The image of my brother, unseeing eyes staring at the stars, forced its way into my head and I shook it desperately, trying to rid my mind of the scene.

"Angel needs to die," I murmured to myself before making my way to class.

~8~8~

Amy stood next to Spike, leaning on the wheelchair as they surveyed what was in front of them. The room was empty for now, and Amy strained her ears; she couldn't hear anything of Dru and Angelus so they were definitely alone.

"How're your legs?" Amy asked and he shrugged.

"Better. I can fight but I can't take on both of them. Not alone," Spike explained.

"And I still can't fully resist them. Angelus, yes, but if Dru orders me to do anything; I can't break the bond."

"So, still planning on asking your little Slayer friend?" Spike challenged. Amy stiffened.

"She said she'd help us. She wants Angelus gone more than both of us," she pointed out but Spike scoffed.

"Oh please. She might want the bastard gone, I believe that, but d'you think she's gonna be content with that? Your little ex has got a penchant for vengeance and that doesn't just go away. She won't be satisfied with just Angelus, mark my words."

"You don't know that. You don't know Rebecca," Amy tried to argue but Spike shook his head.

"Pet, I know the Slayer. She's been tortured, tormented and she's had her brother taken from her. She'll want Angelus' blood and then she'll come for the rest of us. She might spare you if you're lucky," he muttered, dragging his boot across the marble floor.

"You're wrong," Amy was staring straight ahead, ignoring Spike completely. He looked up at her then back down at the floor again, frowning.

"I bloody hope you're right, pet. Wouldn't be right for that Slayer to do you in," Spike pointed out but Amy didn't get a chance to reply as voices could be heard. Amy turned to look but Spike's eyes never left the artefact as Dru and Angelus entered the room.

"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big," Spike's sarcasm and disinterest filled the room as Amy tried to bite back a smirk.

"Spike, boy, you never did learn your history," Angelus taunted and Spike rolled his eyes.

"Let's have a lesson then," he suggested, getting more comfortable in the wheelchair. Angelus, never one to miss up an opportunity to hear himself speak, began explaining.

"Acathla the demon came forth to swallow the world," Amy zoned out as he spoke trying to remember if there was anything specific about it that she'd read but the name didn't ring a bell for her. She hoped that Rebecca had heard about it but she couldn't be sure.

Two vampires stepped up to the obelisk and crowbarred it open from either side; half the stone collapsed to the floor in front of the four vampires, leaving a stone horned demon, with a sword sticking out of its chest inside. Amy inhaled sharply in shock, a leftover habit from her time as a human.

Drusilla starting murmuring to herself, eyes closed and hands on her temples, swaying slightly from side to side.

Amy wasn't listening much, just hearing the bit about someone worthy pulling out the sword, trying to figure out how she was going to tell Rebecca, and get the information to her when Angelus turned to all of them, a sadistic grin on his face.

"My friends, we're about to make history end."

'I need to tell Rebecca. It's time.'

~8~8~

Whistler was in the library when I returned later that evening, in deep conversation with both Watchers and Miss Calendar and I raised an eyebrow curiously, especially as I noticed a large, silver sword on the table.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"There's a dark power in Sunnydale. Powers noticed it, sent me here, with this," he patted the sword on the table.

"It's a fancy sword, so what? We have swords," I pointed out. Whistler rolled his eyes.

"It's the sword that slew the first demon, blessed by a knight. This should stop Acathla," Whistler explained and I raised my eyebrows.

"What's Acathla?"

Whistler glanced at the two Watchers, eyes wide. "I thought she was meant to be the smart one?" He murmured and I frowned, annoyed as Wesley stepped in.

"The artefact that Mr Giles visited at the museum; it's been stolen and the curator has been murdered. We suspect it was vampires and Whistler has confirmed that" he explained and Whistler shook his head.

"Nah, it ain't just any vampires. It's Angelus."

"Of fucking course it is," I muttered, placing my fingers on my temples. "So, he's summoning a demon. We've dealt with demons, what makes this any different?" I demanded.

"Cause this ain't any demon. This ain't like the Judge, Slayer. A rocket launcher isn't gonna cut it this time."

"Then start talking properly or something else is gonna get cut," I threatened, and Whistler put his hands up in defence as Wesley shot me a look. I ignored him, staring at Whistler.

"Acathla was a demon who was meant to suck the world into hell. He was killed by a knight before he could take his first breath and turned to stone. Now Angelus wants to raise him again." I let out a deep breath as the library door opened and Will, Buffy and Cordy walked in. I turned to Buffy, eyebrows raised.

"Your ex-boyfriend is trying to end the world. Still want to re-ensoul him?" I demanded and she stepped back, a hurt look on her face.

"Rebecca, that's enough," Wesley cautioned and I sighed but nodded.

"He's what?" Cordelia asked, a confused look on her face.

Whistler relayed the information once more and Buffy's face hardened. "How long until it happens?"

"Can't say. Honestly, I ain't sure myself. I'd guess a day."

"Is there anything else you can tell us?"

"Yeah. Angel's blood is the key to opening Acathla, which means his blood is the key to closing it. If he opens the door, to stop Acathla coming through, Angel will need to die as well. His blood will open and close it," Whistler explained.

"So we stop him," Buffy declared and I rolled my eyes.

"We don't even know where they are."

"Hey do you-" Buffy cut off and I turned to see that the demon was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah, he does that. I guess that's all he can tell us," I shrugged.

"Who actually is he?"

"Whistler? He's the demon that gave me the Book. He works for the Powers."

"Well, he's not very helpful," she murmured but I laughed.

"Are you kidding? That's the most information I've had about Angelus since he turned. Looks like the Powers can finally see what they've been up to," I said and Wesley cleared his throat slightly. I turned to the three adults expectantly.

"We believe that we'll be able to complete the souling spell tomorrow evening," Wesley explained and I nodded.

"Alright. So tomorrow, we give Amy back her soul. And we kill Angelus," I stated and Buffy pursed her lips before nodding.

"How do we find him?"

I raised my eyebrows at her question and she sighed, as realisation dawned. "Willy the snitch? Are you sure he'll know?"

"I'm not sure of anything, Buff. But if anyone will know, it's him. Or he'll at least be able to point us in the direction of someone who will," I pointed out, wondering if Amy was going to show up. She said she'd help us when the time came. Surely that means now?

~8~8~

Angelus had issued a threat of his own, demanding Buffy come to him at the cemetery that night. We argued about it of course; I said it was probably a diversion, like what the Anointed tried to do with Cordelia at the beginning of the year, whilst Buffy insisted it was a legitimate threat. The Watchers were torn; it did fit Angelus' M.O to want to draw Buffy out but it also makes sense for him to want to get at least one Slayer out of the way. The only thing was we couldn't figure out his motivation.

"It doesn't make sense for Angelus to come here," Wesley said, pacing up and down the library.

"Why would he suggest a fight one-on-one so brazenly? It's not his style. He likes catching people off guard when they don't have a chance to counter. He must know that we would come prepared, all guns blazing," I countered. The vampire's sadistic grin pushed its way to the forefront of my mind, and then I saw my brother, eyes open and unseeing and I shook my head, getting up from the table and moving to lean against the cage door.

"Becky, are you alright?" Willow asked, moving to stand beside me and I nodded, wiping my eyes of the tears on my face.

"Fine," I choked out, making sure she couldn't see my face. The library had gone silent and I turned around to see everyone looking at me with concern. "It's a diversion. It has to be. He wouldn't be this blunt otherwise; he wants you out of the way, the same way the Anointed did when he kidnapped Cordelia and me." I couldn't believe that was only nine months ago. I hadn't even met Amy yet; how did so much happen in so little time? It didn't make any sense.

"Then what do we do? This might be our only chance to kill him before he tries to raise Acathla," Buffy argued and I sighed.

"Then I'll go. You stay here and make sure everyone else is safe, whilst Miss Calendar does the ensouling spell," I ordered. Wesley stepped forward.

"Rebecca, are you sure about this?"

"He's asking for Buffy, so if it's me who turns up, at least it'll be a surprise. Might catch him off guard. You know, for a second," I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

"Becky, the last time-" Buffy started but I turned on the blonde.

"I know what fucking happened the last time! Funny story, I was there! But I need you here to protect these guys. You've been the Slayer longer than I have and if this place gets ambushed, you're the best person for it. Someone has to go fight Angelus and the best person for that is me. So stop whining, and finish the ensouling spell. I'll see you later," I snapped, grabbing my jacket off the back of a chair and heading to the weapons cabinet.

There was a moment of silence, as I stared at the weapons cabinet, grabbing a crossbow off the side. I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't turn around, grabbing some crossbow bolts, and a quiver.

"He might kill you," Willow's voice was quiet, only loud enough for me to hear. I ignored her, not turning around as I picked up a stake. "Becky, the last time you fought Angelus, he nearly killed you. If we hadn't been there-"

"I'll be fine."

"Rebecca," I winced as Willow used my full name. I turned slowly to look at her and the pain in her eyes nearly broke my heart. "If we hadn't come that night, you would've let Angelus kill you, wouldn't you?"

I looked down, avoiding her eyes. "It doesn't matter. The only one dying tonight will be Angelus."

~8~8~

The look of surprise on his face was almost worth it. Clearly expecting Buffy, his eyebrows nearly reached his hairline when he saw me approaching. I had to clench my fists to stop them shaking at the sight of him. There was no fight running through my veins, just fear. And a dash of hope.

"Where's lover?" He asked.

"Buffy couldn't make it, I'm afraid. She had a prior engagement," I said, mock sympathetically.

"Aw, I was hoping to speak to her so we could get back together? What do you think, do I stand a shot?"

I rolled my eyes, drawing the crossbow out of my bag, behind my back. "Maybe," I murmured, pulling the crossbow out in front of me and shooting. He moved just in time and it grazed his arm, as he laughed.

"That's my Slayer," he grinned, rushing towards me and I grabbed the dagger from my boot before slashing at his stomach.

"I'm not your Slayer," I hissed, moving back to give myself more room. I was playing defence, blocking his hits but not making many of my own. I couldn't afford to lose my head in this fight; Angelus was a much better fighter than I. Every time I'd gone up against him, he'd won. I survived on flukes, on other people intervening. I didn't have that to rely on this time. Maybe that was for the best.

"Is it me or are you just not into this fight? C'mon, where's that fire gone?" He taunted and I gritted my teeth, blocking another punch before backing away, putting some distance between us. "Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world."

"I think my dagger might have something to say about that," I said, holding it up and letting it drop to the floor. "Let's finish this. You never wanted Buffy here for this. You wanted me," I held up both my arms, leaving myself wide open. He grinned, stepping towards me and I clenched my fist tightly as his face turned, fangs showing. He grabbed the back of my neck and his fangs grazed my neck. I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to start but instead he started laughing.

"This was your plan? You stupid bitch," he backhanded me, and the force sent me stumbling, as the taste of copper filled my mouth. "So desperate to join your brother. Maybe Spike was right, you Slayers do have freaking death wishes," he moved away, chuckling.

"I never wanted you. This wasn't about you or Buffy," Angelus said and my eyes widened. I was right, it's a diversion.

"I knew Buffy would fall for it but, Becky, I expected better from you," he smirked and I turned tail, running back towards the school, ignoring the taunts he was shouting after me. Don't let me be too late, don't let me be too late. I can't lose anyone else. How hypocritical of me; I couldn't lose them but I was happy to leave them behind.

Please be okay.