Dear Diary

I feel awful. Like "I just burnt down an orphanage" awful.

It's been officially a month since Damon and I died. Today, instead of moping, I decided to keep Damon's mind off of it.

"Let's play pretend." I said after staking a bite from my pancake. I looked up and waited for Damon to set his fork down and give me his attention.

"Okay." He said huskily. "What are we pretending to be."

"How about cops and robbers?" I said with a smile. I was hellbent on having a good day.

"Alright." Damon said with a crooked smile; playing along. "I'll be the robber."

"Obviously." I teased. He rolled his eyes at me as I stood up and held out my hand.

"What are you doing?"

"You agreed to play. We're just going to do it my way instead." I said as he took my hand. I led him into the sitting room.

"What are the rules, Bonnie?" He asks.

"Okay." I let go of his hand and face him. "Three things. Rule number one: no vamp speed."

"Like I'll agree to that." He laughs sarcastically.

"Damon I mean it." I warned

"Fine, what else?"

"That also means no eye thingy."

"Compulsion? That doesn't work on you!" He says in surprise.

"I mean the one where you do that...weird...eye thing that makes me feel bad and you know..." I said avoiding eye contact. I honestly didn't want to elaborate. He knew what I was talking about.

"No, I dont-"

"Well I'll tell you if you do." I said with a smile that said 'we are not talking about this.'

"What's the last one?" He asks a stepping closer. This,unwillingly, made my body hum.

"We have to wait until the eclipse."

"Why?"

"Because it'll be fun if its dark."

So we did. While we waited, Damon went through Stefan's diaries and I tried to fill in some of the crossword puzzle. I only have five more spaces left (YAAAAAAAASSSSS! XD ).

When it was dark enough, I went upstairs and found the darkest set of clothes for Damon and I to wear. This, of course, was hard, since most people refrained from wearing dark colors in 1994 most of the time.

But luckily, I found some.

"Put these on." I said tossing Damon the shirt and jeans he wore when we first got here. "For camouflage."

"Well aren't you smart." He looked me up and down. I was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with the darkest pair of jeans I could find. "Nice tough."

"Thanks." I tear away from his blue eyed gaze. "Go get dressed."

In a flash he was gone, and seconds later he stood before me dressed in the way that reminded me of home.

"All done. Ready?'

"Re-" Then suddenly there was a sharp pain in my head. I my knees gave in and I feel onto them on the floor.
"Bonnie!" Damon shouted reaching out to me. He got down with me and placed both hands on each side of my head. "What's the matter with you?"
The pain was replaced with the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. clenched my eyes shut as I tried to make out what he was saying. All I could hear was my heart beat.

The world and Damon slowly began to fade. I still can't remember what exactly Damon was saying as the everything went black.

So after what felt like a few seconds, I opened my eyes again, but this time I was in my room at the Boarding house. Candles were lit everywhere, leaving a feeling of safety.

Well, it should have.

There was a sudden chill down my spine and the smell of the candles' burning scent surrounded me. "Hello?" I shouted out. "Damon?"

No answer.

I got up slowly. The only sound I heard we my breathing and the flickering of the flames dancing on the wicks of the candles. I walked out of my room and made my way over to Damon's. I walked inside slowly and inhaled the scent that was Damon. My eyes scanned the room quickly. His bed was empty. His bathroom was vacant.

He wasn't there.

"Damon." I yelled as I walked downstairs. Still no response. I walked into the kitchen. The sink was empty of dishes, even though I swear I didn't wash them. And God knows Damon didn't. The whole kitchen itself was spotless. It was as if no one lived there at all.

Everything was clean.

I walked into the living room and I sighed in relief when my eyes fell on Damon. he sat on the couch with a glass of bourbon in his hand. His face was masked with worry. Worry that I couldn't help but feel responsible for.

"Thank God." I said approaching him. "I thought you left me here by myself."

"You thought I went home somehow?" He said looking up at me.

"I dunno what I was thinking exactly." I sat beside down beside him and placed my head on his shoulder. "What happened?"
"You passed out or had a small aneurysm or something. Whatever it was it's gone. I fed you my blood, so you're healed."
"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He took a sip of his drink. I looked away from him and focused my gaze on the window, realizing that it was dark out.

"We can um...we can still play if you're up for it." I said with hope. He downed the rest of his drink and looked down at me.

"Sure." I smile up at him and get to my feet. "But you have to be the robber."

I quirk my eyebrow at him in confusion. "You want to be the cop? Damon Salvatore wants to be a do gooder?"

"Not exactly..." The white of his eyes begin to transition into red as veins appear under them. "I need your magic, Bonnie." He said huskily.

"W-what? Damon..." I walked slowly away from him. He got up and in a second my back was up against a wall. He cupped her chin in his strong hand and looked at her intensely. "Damon, stop!" I begged. "I don't even have my powers back yet!"

"You're magic will get us out of here. I need it." He stated as he revealed his fangs. My scream bounced off of the walls as I felt his fangs break into the soft tissue of my neck.

Then I woke up for real that time. Not like last time though. I could tell this was for real.

"Bonnie." I sat up on the couch and rubbed my head.

"What happened I asked. Damon had his hand on my shoulder just in case I collapsed again.

"You must've had a massive migraine or something because you passed out." I maneuver myself so that I'm facing Damon.

Then that while dream comes rushing back to me.

"Were you in my head?" I asked simply.

"What?" I pushed him off of me and got up to tower over him from where he sat on the floor. "I said, were you inside my head? Did you give me that nightmare?"

"Bonnie-" he said getting to his feet.

"Don't Bonnie, me! I trusted you Damon!" I said pushing him away as he tried to get closer to me.

"I wasn't in your head and to be honest, I've never had a reason to want to be on your witchy little head!" Damon shouted.

"Oh yeah, then why else would I dream about you attacking me for my "magic?" I said mimicking his voice when I said magic.

"First of all, I don't sound like that. Second, I wasn't in your head. I was too busy trying to make sure you were okay." I looked and stared so deep into his blue eyes. They were a cobalt blue. I couldn't help but think that he was telling the truth.

"I'm sorry." I said breathing heavily due to our closeness. He looked down and took my small hand in his. "I just don't understand why I would have a dream like that. Maybe it's a sign that I still have my magic." I said with hope burning inside of me. I then realized how close we really were. I jumped a little as his hand snaked around my waist. I gulped as he placed a kiss on my forehead. No, not again.

But like usual, my body wants the exact opposite.

So I move my head upward so that I was kissing him.

At first it was just our lips pressed together, but then our um...tongues got involved.

And I wasn't objecting at all this time as he moved his kisses along my jawline.

He used his vamp speed to pin me against the wall. I jumped up so that my legs were wrapped around him. Then he whispered in my ear.

"Can I bite you?" He asked. I felt my eyes widened, remembering my dream and what happened the last time he bit me. Something told me that this time would be different, though.

"Enjoy." I said rebelliously. I felt a little on on edge all day, so I didn't care how far this went.

Soon enough, he was kissing down my neck and nipping along the column of my throat. Eventually I felt fangs nipping at my neck and finally they pieced the soft tissue of my skin.

At first it hurt like hell, but then I felt like I was getting high from his bite in a good way. I was on cloud nine as he suckled firmly on my neck.

When he do stop, he tongued the two punctured wounds produced from his bite. I felt tingles shivers as a result, dear diary. I shouldn't like what he made me feel, but I did.

I should be thinking about Jeremy and how he was coping over my death. But Jeremy was Jeremy. He was gentle when we did our bad deed and considerate.

While Damon is...Damon.

He is passion personified.

Like last time, it all ended with me leaving his bedroom after our bad deed and me coming to write in you.

One night he's gonna catch me and we'll have to have this candid talk and...and...

The pressure!

Gosh, I sound more confused then Elena did.

I'm gonna get some more sleep before the Mormon.

~Bonnie