First of all, happy belated everything
Second, I am sorry for this mediocre ass chapter and um...
yeah
Happy belated everything
CREDIT
the valentines skit was done by my friend
The funeral skit was done by my sis for easter-egg and shameless advertising
I'm shameless, i'll do the next chapter on my own, already started a draft during math
I am a good student
IDSH is mine, Hisako is mine Mary used to be mine but she's dead so...
ye...
have fun i hope ;w;
SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN/ AoT is not mine
"Would you like tea with that?" a young black-haired girl holding up a hot kettle in her left-hand, rolling her eyes as the lady sitting on the wooden chair lift her teacup for more. A bet is a bet, even if the lady used her 'adultness' to her advantage.
"If you could touch Erwin's eye-brows before he leaves without me looking, I'll be your maid for the entire week, but if I catch you holding his eye-brows , which I will because I'm awesome like that, you will behave and be my maid for the entire week!" little did the black-haired girl know that she would fall for her trap, the lady made sure that the commander was in her sights all the time, from drinking tea, to playing with the child. She smiled mischievously but it that bet hid her true intentions, this would be the last week she would probably never see her again. Of course she was happy for her, new parent, new life, friends, but of course she would miss that girl with the combined energy of a thousand men rushing for free drinks. She turned to the child at mind, who was looking at her. The lady smiled and lipped the word 'times up kiddo'. The child looked at her with grief and panicked, Ms. Mary already knew what she was thinking.
A white string has been cut.
A new string lined up, scissors in between, waiting to snap shut.
"Please let it end."
-IDSH-
She never once thought that she was ever depressed, she always thought that depression was for the people who exaggerated a little bit too much on their own sadness. She knew depression was serious but she thought lightly of it. How it was portrayed on those cheesy soap operas. How the main girl always got depressed when the main guy dumped her, she always thought that was a little funny that real people would actually cry about the fact fictional characters dying. Sure it was a shame for some of her favorite characters to die, but that was it, a shame; nothing more, nothing less. But now it was something more. She was fond of that character, she loved that character, and she treated that character as her own mother. Now she's more than a character in her eyes, she's a living being.
And now she's dead
"Yo, Mary I don't think you should touch that snake" before the warning hit her ears she grabbed the poor thing just below its head…I guess you could call it a neck but hey, its whole body looks like a neck. It flayed and trash in Ms. Mary's iron tight grip. She could really be scary at times
"What's wrong Hisa? You scared?" she grinned devilishly at the snake and then at me.
"Oh hell no"
"LANGUAGE!" she said, screaming at the terrified girl and flung the snake at her, she ran away screaming all the while Ms. Mary was laughing maniacally
She smiled bitterly, fighting to hold back the tears, she moved from the said corpse, her ebony hair now stained with blood on the tips. She stood up and almost tripped, but who would blame her? The world was collapsing on her, even before, she knew it would hurt bad, she knew that this pain was the pain that she nurtured all through the years, she blamed everyone yet she blamed no one, 'maybe I should slash my wrist and be done with it'
She laughed at the idea
She always thought suicide was for the weak, it's for the people who press the quit button at the first level. She was determined in her past life that she would never press that button. But things changed, There was not an emotional scarring thing that the girl could think of that could beat the throbbing pain in her chest she is feeling right now, she could not comprehend what is happening; watching from a screen was easy 'oh someone died, what a shame', she understood now that that someone felt something, he or she had feelings, he or she had memories that they hold dear to in the deepest part of their hearts.
They had life.
And that life was stolen.
It was that time of the year again. Hisako thought that only titans and the shady government was the scariest thing ever since that wallist's hairdo. Well, she thought wrong.
It was horrible. It was scary. It was...
Useless?
"Valentine's day...?" Hisako asked, casual interest picking up.
"Ohoho! Yes, Valentine's day, it's almost near right? Oh! And by the way..." Ms. Mary went to sit on the couch, next to where she was seated. Hisako looked at her in confusion.
"Who are you giving that crinkles you made yesterday, ah?~" She had a teasing smile on her face while she pulled out Hisako's stash of baked goodness from her skirt pocket.
"My crinkles!" Hisako snatched the stash from Ms. Mary and inspected it. After a few moments, she got one and spoke between bites. "To be honest, I was planning to give it to you. Who else am I supposed to give that?"
And that was the truth. Initially a boy, she did not care for Valentine's day, but only the sweets that came with it. Speaking of which...While Hisako pondered over her thoughts, her mouth stuffed with Ms. Mary's supposed-to-be crinkles, Ms. Mary on the other hand didn't look like she was going to drop the subject that she had started that easily.
"Well," Ms. Mary started, the smile not leaving her face. "How about Erwin?"
Hisako almost choked on her food. Erwin? Mr. Bushy brows? She might have been a boy before, but she has standards. And one of them is reasonable age difference.
After she got through the initial shock, she gave Ms. Mary her best are-you-kidding? look. "Aw, nah." Ms. Mary however burst into a fit of laughter.
"I was only asking who you would give crinkles to, why are you so defensive?" She reached for one of the crinkles, seeing that she has Hisako in her trap.
Hisako then quickly grabbed the stash and stretched it out of Ms. Mary's reach. "Actually, I was going to give him some, but I changed my mind. His eyebrow game is too strong." She can tease her all she wants but Hisako will have the last laugh. And the last crinkle.
Soon after, they continued to joke around.
"Is it Levi then?"
"What?! THAT shorty!? Well 'cuse me-"
"Shorty? Do you think you're in position to say that?"
"Well, I am at the normal height for my age, unlike grumpy ass here. Plus, I have standards, with height requirement second to facial decor."
"Oh? A fiesty one I see." Ms. Mary then protuded a letter from the magic skirt pocket (seriously, how many things can she fit in there) and held it between her fingers. "Having a rebellious streak has always have been a natural charm. Like me."
Rebellious? Hisako looked at Ms. Mary, doubt displayed on her face for a fleeting moment. However, she just dismissed it. Probably an inside joke she won't ever get. Plus, the letter grasped her attention more.
"A letter? From Erwin?" Hisako took the letter. "It better not be him urging me to go to school. I told him for the fifth time; I don't want to go to school. Sitting all day, wasting my time is my job, I don't need someone else to force me to do it."
Ms. Mary turned serious for a minute. "School isn't exactly the best insitution to teach new things. I would rather do the pratical work."
She was silent. Hisako did not know what to do, thinking she said something wrong. So she returned her attention to the letter.
The words were barely legible. After rotating the letter and using her 13-year old boy vocabulary, she concluded that it was addressed to her.
"Wha-?"
Feeling the smooth texture of the letter, she flipped it over, the seal revealing the purpose of the letter.
"A love letter?!" Hisako said in disbelief. She could not believe that anyone would have had a crush on her. She *was* a boy. 'He' paid no heed to whatever shit teenage girls spewed about love. Usually.
She didn't notice Ms. Mary already looking at her, that playful smile once again evident on her face. "So~?"
"Wait, woman-I mean, Ms. Mary. I'm about to read it geez."
The strange and ancient language of god-knows-what greeted her again. She groaned.
"To the beautiful girl I saw years ago.
The time has come to reveal myself. I cannot stand being away with you much longer! For I fear that someone will steal you away from me... Like that scary eyebrows man! Or... Or that intimidating dwarf that everyone seems to like. Oh! How fate is cruel to me. I cannot allow anyone to grow closer to you than I.
Wait for me, my love, I shall come. I shall come when the clock strikes at 10. Do not fear, your prince will soon take his rightful princess. Like bees and flowers-I mean, like milk and cows-no, like mold and bread! We are the perfect match.
Signed by,
Your Future Husband~ 3 3"
Ms. Mary spoke first while Hisako was busy repeatedly facepalming. "Good luck on your date!~" She got up, smirking at her. "Don't do that to your face, Hisako, it'll ruin moldly bread charms." She then hurriedly got out of the door, with the excuse of getting groceries, narrowly avoiding Hisako's rage mode.
"Damn it woman! Just as when I needed help." She glanced at the letter again and shuddered.
"Why do I feel so insecure... And why do I think this secret admirer isn't actually going be the best conversation partner?" She muttered.
Hisako put the letter down on the table. No, she won't be destroying it. Keeping it rather as a memento. 'Achievement Earned!'
Propping her legs up on the table, she considered her options. The clock read exactly 9:00 am. Plenty of time.
She was planning on taking advantage of the opportunity, I mean, just smile and act cute then boom! You have free food. *free chocolate*
But alas, guilt almost always seems to find its way to Hisako's 14-year old teenage boy heart. No chocolates for Hisako.
She glanced at the clock again... *What should I do?* The time read 9:02 am.
Hisako stared at the clock, thinking through her options.
She decided to have apple tea.
She awoke to arms around her body, am I being carried, her eyes were barely open and blurry. She heard voices, sad voices, angry voices, bored voices and they all shared on thing common. Mary Austerlitz is dead. She looked around; she was in the orphanage with dozens of people in uniforms, survey corps and garrisons. Her head ached and her throat was dry, she was too tired to move her body. She looked at the blurry face carrying her, a strong familiar chin. She felt safe and empty at the same time.
Drowsiness took over.
Leia wanted to laugh, and she tried so hard not to because it would be rude to the policemen in front of her, in front of her house.
They were saying that someone had killed her brother.
That was a lie of course, there was no such possibility of that happening to her brother. This was not the first time he was home alone, so he knew to lock the doors and bar the gates. Her brother, reckless as he might be, was not reckless enough to leave the front gate unattended for if ever he went out to buy a snack. Most of all, she found it highly unlikely that of all the murder weapons the killer had brought with him on his heist, wherein guns are the more efficient weapons to use, it was a butchers' knife. With all these in mind, the woman concluded that the policemen were batshit crazy and needed to tell her that everything they were saying was a joke.
Having a brother die at home while you're away…that just doesn't happen outside the movies.
But then her parents came and they were crying. They were wailing loudly at no person in particular, looking at everything with despair and denial. The sounds of the sirens blaring could not stop them from grieving for this tragedy.
The bag on Leia's shoulder fell to the ground; its contents – a notebook and a single wallet containing an only family photo they took when they went out – fell in disarray on the cold pavement.
She wanted to laugh
This was a joke she thought this is all just an elaborate joke
But instead, she cried.
Someone tell me this is a joke
People were coming and going from her house, her sanctuary.
(Could it really be called a sanctuary now that someone had died in it?)
They had positioned the coffin in front of the living room, its sallow wood shimmering under the holy light of a cross its lid draped in flowers of all kinds. Even for the woman's derailing mind, it was still a sight to behold.
Inside the coffin was her brother, dressed in white.
Leia had never seen her brother wear such formal, white attire before. They were not the richest of families, and the times when they were forcibly required to wear those gaudy dresses and suits were limited to some cousin's 16th or 18th birthday, and even then most of the family wore formal casual simply because anything else would feel unnatural for the family. As such, seeing her brother dressed in such a pristine white suit with his hair combed neatly to the side like a fine gentlemen was disturbing.
He didn't look like her brother at all.
Her brother was loud, and sarcastic, and was rude to his sisters. He hated grooming himself; mother always had to remind him to clip his toenails because he would never bother to look at them. His hair was always messy from waking up late and not bothering to comb his hair because he claimed that fingers did the trick. He was lazy, and sluggish, and looked nothing like the clean and refined boy lying inside the coffin. Perhaps it wasn't her brother?
A hand rested on her shoulder, and she looked up to see her older sister, wearing the same expression she had.
"Don't try to fool yourself," She said, and Leia wanted to laugh. Should that not be her line? After all, who was it that had refused to look at body because she could not handle the image of death and continued to deny until today? Who was it that still held on to the birthday gift she had bought in advance for the growing boy and even wrapped it neatly despite the receiver being already dead?
Leia smiled at her sister. It was a smile full of contempt and grief. Yet the smile was not directed at her, but at the sheen surface of the coffin, and the blurry image of a woman reflected on its surface.
"I would never do that," She said in a somber fashion, looking back at the boy in the coffin and smiling "It's just that the guy here looks nothing like our little Dev,"
The hair was too neat. The skin was too pale. The nails were too clean. The lips were too chapped. The eyelashes were too prominent. The body was too still, too clean, too holy, too dead to be their brother. This corpse in the coffin was beautiful, perfect even. But it was these perfections that had destroyed what made their brother recognizable to the siblings. It was these perfections that made the corpse look like nothing more than some doll being dressed and buried. It was not the brother they had lived their lives with.
That brother was gone. All that was left was this corpse and whatever scars it had inflicted on the family.
It was only at the funeral, however, did the realization of what was happening truly occur in Leia's mind.
Her brother was dead
The masses were suffocating. Draped in formal black and sitting on their plastic chairs in pity for the child wearing white. The children that were brought were fumbling on their seats, restless and irritated and would cry in boredom only to be shushed by their parent before they made a scene. The ones who were truly sympathetic of their parent's plight were nearest to the coffin and the family, silently comforting them and giving their condolence. Had the priest not been wearing white and chose to wear black on this dreary occasion, than the white coffin before them would have been the center of attention.
Not that it already wasn't.
Her brother was dead
It did not occur to the woman that she was still in denial. She had cried and raged and mourned her brother's death these past few days nonstop. She thought she had accepted her denial and accepted her grief, and when the somber image of her mother came into view, telling her that it was time, she had accepted her brother's death and thought that she was strong enough to move on.
But now, she realized that not once had she left the stage of denial. That even now, she still fervently wished that this was all some bad dream and that the body in that coffin was not her brother's.
"Don't try to fool yourself,"
So that was what her sister meant. In the end, it was her all along that had it worse.
Leia began to laugh, ignoring the looks the people were giving her. Uncaring of the way they were mocking her and insulting her for laughing at her brother's funeral. But they would never understand. They would never understand how fragile she was at the moment, how broken her voice really was. They would never understand that this was the only way she knew how to cope with this grief. For she had kept it inside for so long these past few days, unable to let it out.
Oh the horror, oh the morbid horror. She was laughing at her brother's funeral. May the God have mercy on her breaking mind, and may the tears that stream down her cheeks show the masses of how she truly feels about all this.
For there is no simple way to recognize the death of a love one, and there will never be a time when fools like her would heal from this trauma.
It does not even matter to her anymore that the person who had killed her brother was still out there. His death would not erase his, and Leia was never convoluted enough to believe that a soul can rest in peace at the death of another anyways.
It never mattered in the end, how her brother died. For it would never change the fact that he was gone.
Sooo Erwin got Hisa at the end
The valentines day was the chapter i was suppose to post at the real posting day
and new cover
hurrah
I feel dead inside