Please read

I started writing this over a week ago when I was mad about Steroline but it put me in a weird pondering mood about why Caroline would fall for Stefan, if canon is being truthful to her, how much Liz's support and impending death meant for the ship, what Klaus would think and how Klaroline stands up to it. Unfortunately – considering the insane length of this – I'm not a meta writer but a fanfiction one and so I decided to explore those things in a narrative.

I've tried to keep it as unbiased as possible, really just offering my viewpoint from inside my perspective of Caroline's character. That being said it is skewed toward Klaroline, and that being said, it does contain Steroline (though only as much as I could stomach, which honestly isn't very much).

Pretty please don't leave me reviews that only say 'Ew Steroline'. This is meant to be an exploration, a discursive essay if you will, so it must contain the other side to make a compelling argument.

In the name of keeping things fair I've kept Liz alive because I think her death is meant to drive SC. Klaus does save her but that's only because I could think of nothing else considering how utterly ridiculous it is that normal vampire blood doesn't cure cancer. I've kept Liz the Steroline shipper the show has been pushing though.

Completely disregarding any and all TO canon because that's the only way I can write/remain sane.

A huge thanks to my Klarochatters who encouraged me in writing this, especially Ellen who talked me through it and gave me the awesomest idea – you guys are so precious I don't know what I'd do without you.

To you – thank you for still shipping Klaroline and not letting the writers forget we exist. I know it isn't always – possibly ever – easy, but it is worth it. Personally I believe that the perfection of this ship will forever be worth the strife.

I hope this proves that.

Enjoy and please leave me reviews if you did :)

we run; play our own twisted version of hide and seek

They were holding hands.

Klaus' gaze slid to Liz's pale but peaceful face then back to the clasped hands beside her resting form.

The steady beat of the heart rate monitor thrummed out of sync with his speeding pulse as he followed the hands up to the arms and the shoulders, where they touched again. One shoulder had curled locks laying softly and the other stood strong, supporting where the blonde's head lay on him.

Caroline's eyes were rimmed with red but her mouth was relaxed into a light smile as she watched her mother.

He watched her.

"Thanks for being here with me."

Her smile widened a little, lovingly, and she raised her eyes to meet Stefan's but on the way up met his instead.

Her gaze stuck to him; eyes rounding as her heart sped to match his own.

"Oh my god."

Stefan looked up too; removed his hand from Caroline's at vampire speed. His heart hammered in quite a different way.

"I can go deal with him."

"He'll kill you."

Klaus left.

Klaus was here. Klaus was here. Klaus was here.

Klaus had seen. They'd been holding hands. They'd been holding hands and Klaus had seen.

How could she have been so stupid? Of course he would come.

How long had he been there?

What did he know?

What was there to know – what did this change?

Her mind ran faster than her feet and then she stopped altogether in the hospital cafeteria.

A cup of coffee sat before him, black and gross-looking, and he stared into it – a deceptive statue.

Hospital lights were sharp and did no one any favours but this was him and she felt her heart skip a little at the auburn scruff and the curls and the hidden dimples.

Tiny tremors shot through her body as memories of the last time they'd been together ripped through her mind.

Not that Caroline Forbes was any stranger to the We've-seen-each-other-naked-this-is-kind-of-awkward moment. But this was different, annoyingly so. This was rampant Damn-you-for-wearing-clothing-today thoughts.

Stop. You're over him.

"You came."

"I did."

He didn't look up and she hesitated before stepping forward.

"She's ok because of you, isn't she?" she breathed out.

It was a risk but a few hours ago her mother had mysteriously been brought right from what had seemed like death's door, to being mildly tired. They were still awaiting the test results but she knew a miracle when she saw one and seeing him standing there outside her mother's room had only been a confirmation.

He came for me. Again.

He nodded almost imperceptibly. "Witches were found, threats were issued, spells were cast."

For a second so many emotions rushed at her that she felt she'd never loved someone so much in her entire life. He'd saved her mother's life – the person most important in her life; who tethered her to her humanity – without being asked.

In the fervour with her blood and the doubting Salvatores and her mother slipping away faster than Caroline could think, she hadn't thought of him.

But she'd never left his mind and now her mother was alive because of it.

She wanted to thank him but felt it would be lost on him in this state. She had to try and crack the armour.

She tried a joke; faked a laugh. "Modest, huh?"

He made no reply and the pit in her stomach grew.

Her smile dried up and she pulled out the chair opposite him and sat.

He was still staring into his coffee.

"You're calm," she noted.

She couldn't ignore it any longer.

"How would you have had me react, Caroline?"

She'd forgotten about the way he said her name.

"Would me murdering Stefan have appeased your expectations?"

She blinked.

"You heard that."

With their continued absence she'd entirely forgotten how powerful Original hearing was.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I didn't mean it. Or maybe I did, it's just you have to admit… you don't exactly have a spotless record when it comes to controlling your temper."

"And why would I have a temper, love?"

Finally he looked up and Caroline's breath caught.

His eyes were that same shade of irresistible, but there was something behind them that scared her.

Combined with his words, she was struck speechless.

But he stared, waiting, and she found herself stuttering out a response.

"I-I don't know."

He nodded a little then stood and began walking away.

Confused anger bubbled up inside her and she jumped up to face him, her real response bursting out.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is that your backwards Original hybrid I-have-no-social-skills way of saying that you're over me? That you found someone else or something?" she accused loudly.

There weren't that many other people in the cafeteria but the few who were turned their attention to the display.

Klaus turned and as he opened his mouth she realised how scared she was of his reply. Especially to the last part of her question.

"It means I have no claim over you."

She blinked.

"You're free to do what – or whom – you please."

It struck her like a blow to her chest and he looked oddly pleased, sadistic, as he turned away and began to leave once again.

"That is so not fair! You don't even know anything!"

He spun, his hands in the air. "Then please, enlighten me!"

Her cheeks burned and she took a quick glance around them before rushing forward and pulling him along. To her surprise he let her and in a minute they were inside the nearest bathroom.

Quickly she located an Out of Order sign and hung it outside the door before entering again, facing the Original head-on.

"How long have you been together?" he asked first.

Caroline sighed. "We're not… together."

He frowned. "Then what are you, precisely?"

They stared at each other for a long while, her heart thumping with the hope of dislocating an explanation, but after a minute she blew out a breath and leaned back against the basins.

"It's… a crush. I'm crushing on him and he's… dealing with it."

She looked down at her shoes, waiting for Klaus to process the information.

It took a full minute before he spoke again.

"You have feelings for Stefan and he's attempting to cope with it?"

"Don't make it sound like that," she snapped.

"Like what? Like he's doing you some sort of favour? I believe it was you who did that, sweetheart, not me."

She looked up, incensed. "We've been friends for a really long time, it's just weird for him!"

"And he's certainly not alone in the sentiment," Klaus muttered beneath his breath.

She glared. "Stefan is good for me, ok! He may not be sure about how he feels yet but I know how I do and it feels right." She shook her head, clearing it. "This whole… crush situation may not have been easy this far but it feels good – pure."

"As opposed to?" he shot acidly.

Her chest heaved as she stared into the depths of his eyes, knowing what he was really asking.

"Nothing I felt for you was right," she breathed.

His eyes darkened and she expected him to explode but instead he slowly leaned down, his nose grazing the edge of her jaw.

Caroline sucked in a breath.

"But was it wrong?" he whispered, his hot breath swirling around her neck, where he brushed his lips before disappearing.

"You shouldn't be in here."

"You should conserve your strength," Klaus countered, lowering himself to a seat. "I'm not here to hurt you."

Liz closed her eyes for a moment, smiling a little, before re-opening them.

"I know that. Why save someone's life just to kill them?"

Klaus sighed. "I was hoping you would assume it was your daughter who saved you."

She smiled again, brighter this time, meeting his gaze. "In a way she did."

He stared for a moment before conceding with a reluctant smile. "You're a wise woman."

"Well I'm not quite as old as you but I feel like I learned a few things while on the brink of death." She barked out a laugh which quickly turned into a cough that she managed to get under control after a few seconds.

"…I'm glad you're alright now," Klaus offered.

There weren't many times in his substantial life that he'd been rendered uncomfortable – after all, he outranked almost everyone he met on any level, whether it be fearfulness, age, wisdom or wealth.

Caroline was the exception to that rule. It seemed her mother was the second.

She nodded her head, slowly, closing her eyes. "I will be. Thank you."

They sat in silence for a while, the scenario Klaus had imagined when he'd decided to step into her room.

He wondered how she had figured out that it had been his actions that had saved her; if she knew that his blood ran through her veins, fed to her by one of his local minions for the witches to have something to work on.

He wondered why he'd come.

"I pushed them together."

Klaus looked up. Liz still looked as if she were asleep but she had undoubtedly spoken and he frowned at the implications of her statement.

"I didn't want her to be alone," she finished.

He frowned. "So you encouraged her toward the first man you opened your eyes to?"

She laughed under her breath a little, sarcastically, and he was reminded of her daughter.

"You know, Stefan was here long before you even met her, Klaus. He loves her."

He considered this – for the first time viewed himself as the intruder instead of the one who'd been robbed.

Then he shook his head.

"She deserves better."

A pause.

"You left."

He looked up sharply, astonished; wronged.

"She asked me to."

"She's asking Stefan to accept her feelings."

He glared at the still form. "If he has to be convinced then he doesn't quite love her as much as you seem to think, now does he?"

Her eyes fluttered then opened. She looked as if she pitied him.

"Not everyone can feel the way you do."

Again he felt the acute sensation of being wronged and he felt hatred well in his chest for this woman whom he hardly knew knowing him so well.

Why were these women so shrewd and unsettling?

"You discounted impudence when you said you knew I wouldn't hurt you."

She looked amused. "No, but I factored in all the trouble you probably went to to save me, as well as why." She smiled. "Besides, I did warn you that you shouldn't be in here."

He shook his head, amused in spite of himself.

"And here I thought I was the threat."

"Yes, Caroline did tell me you were self-important," she joked, closing her eyes again.

He watched the elder Forbes, intrigued by the way she thought and the daughter she had raised with a similar mind; enthralled by knowing Caroline had spoken of him.

"One would think you'd prefer to die knowing you were leaving your daughter happiness, not companionship."

She didn't reply and Klaus' gaze was drawn up to find Caroline standing in the hall, looking at him through the window with utter panic marring her features.

She glanced toward Liz then made her way to the door, opening it and closing it as quietly as possible – presumably so as not to wake her seemingly sleeping mother – as she stepped inside.

"I've never known you to make my daughter happy, Klaus," Liz finally spoke, leaving Caroline to silently jump out of her skin. "In fact she was closer to a wreck when you left."

He met the blonde's eyes and her cheeks pinked before she quickly looked away.

"Then I suppose Stefan was a lovely consolation prize," he replied, a growl in the edge of his voice.

She ignored that.

"She didn't want to talk about you very much."

"I'm surprised she did at all," he admitted, keeping his eyes on Caroline.

Liz swallowed, looking a little pained, but continued. "She was bombarded with shame by her friends. Home was the only place she could say aloud how she really felt."

It infuriated him to know that Caroline had suffered at her own friends' hands but he swallowed it for the moment in favour of further drawing out this perspective he'd never known he needed.

"What was it she said?"

She hesitated and Caroline watched Liz in those few moments, her eyes pleading with her mother's lidded ones.

"She said she felt things for you more strongly than she ever had with anyone else. Lust, hate, anger, happiness, despair. Love."

Caroline was crying now and Klaus watched her bite on her lip to keep her sobs silent.

"She said she missed you more than she'd ever missed anybody in her entire life and she hoped you never came back."

He was still watching Caroline, her tears a confirmation of everything her mother was saying.

"I thought that was the draw – the passion – because I didn't understand how she could fall for a man like you. But she said no, that wasn't the draw – it was the problem." She drew a long breath. "So you see, you were wrong. I do want happiness for my daughter. But you don't make her truly happy. Stefan does. And it may take a few years but one day he'll love her as more than a friend."

The door slammed and Liz sighed before settling in to sleep, thinking Klaus had left.

But it wasn't him who had run.

"Did you find him?"

"Yeah."

"You're crying."

"Yeah," she sobbed out.

"What happened?"

He sounded so worried and nice – nice – that her stomach began to hurt and her knees gave in and all at once she was on the floor, hugging her knees.

"He was with my mom."

"Oh god, Care, is she ok?"

"Yeah."

"Look, Caroline, I'm gonna need a little more," he said patiently.

She'd always liked that tone. It was the tone that meant he'd listen and try to understand – that he wanted to listen and understand, when so many had shrugged her off.

Now it sounded like she was a ticking time bomb of emotions that someone needed to stop from exploding and he just happened to be closest. He'd always been the hero.

Then again, she was crying so hard nothing sounded right.

"I'm sorry, Stefan."

He sighed over the phone. "Don't apologise. Look, is he still there?"

"Yeah," she breathed, trying to calm herself.

"Can you get rid of him?"

"I don't know. I thought he'd be gone by now," she admitted.

She still had no idea why he'd gone into her mother's room. The amount of sheer panic she'd felt when she'd seen him inside there with her mother who was just newly back from the freaking brink of death was indescribable.

With Stefan she never had to worry about her loved ones getting murdered.

"Is he angry?"

"Not right now, I don't think."

With Stefan she never had to worry about mood swings.

"I should come back. You don't sound good and I wanna be there for you."

She smiled, relaxing into the sound of Stefan's voice, comforted somewhat by knowing he wanted to be with her, even if it was only for the current moment.

"Let me come."

Klaus never asked permission.

Was that a positive or a negative?

She shook her head. "It's too risky. I'll call you when he leaves."

Stefan sighed again. "Ok."

He seemed about to end the call and she sucked in a breath.

"Stefan?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Ok…go ahead."

"Me or Elena – a burning building, ransom situation, crazed killer, whatever – you have to make a choice, who is it?"

There was silence on the other end of the line for a good long minute before the Salvatore heaved a sigh.

"You're doing it again, Care."

She shut her eyes tight.

"Right. That annoying thing I do when my head goes crazy and I pressure you, which you totally hate."

He sighed again, not denying any of what she'd said.

"Look, I told you we're gonna try to make this work, ok?"

It may take a few years but one day he'll love her as more than a friend.

The tears started up again as she nodded, trying for a smile in case he could tell somehow.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from, I'm sorry."

Except she did know.

He was here. He was here and it was reminding her that he'd always put her first.

"Just call me when he's gone, ok?"

"Bye," she replied unceremoniously, ending the call and dropping her phone on the ugly linoleum.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Her head snapped up to find Klaus a few steps away from her.

"What?" she uttered, confused and surprised.

He gestured with his head. "You could have stopped your mother at any time, but you didn't say anything."

She looked away, shrugging. "Sometimes it's nice to hear the truth." She frowned, thinking over her words, then laughed sadly. "Maybe nice isn't exactly the word."

"Refreshing?" he supplied.

"Eye-opening," she decided.

He leaned back against the wall she was sitting against and she looked up at him.

"How long are you staying for?"

He smirked but it didn't look kind. "Eager for your boyfriend to join you?"

God she seriously had to stop having conversations she didn't want him hearing until she was sure he was all the way back in New Orleans.

Caroline scoffed. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Something I gather you're quite displeased with."

She huffed, looking away. "That's none of your business."

He was silent for a few moments, considering, before he spoke again.

"I get the feeling it's your job to keep me here and out of trouble, which I assume means it would cast a bad light on your abilities if I were to leave."

Her head whipped up so she could glare at him.

Stefan never blackmailed her.

"God you're a jerk."

He smirked. "Not the way to get me to stay, love."

She continued her glaring until her eyes were beginning to hurt, then sighed.

"Fine. Sit and ask away. Just don't blame me if you don't like the answers."

He was still smirking but said nothing, holding a hand out to her instead.

Frowning, she took it, and he lifted her up to stand beside him.

She opened her mouth to speak but he walked off and with a frown she jogged a little to catch up to him.

"Where are we going?"

"I have no idea."

She laughed. "Ok."

Their steps were in sync as they walked and she snuck looks at him. He looked just like him, which was very comforting for some weird reason she couldn't figure out.

"Your mother, did she lie?"

She looked over at him but he was still staring straight ahead as they traversed the ill-lit passage.

"About what?"

"Anything."

She was closer to a wreck when you left.

She said she felt things for you more strongly than she ever had with anyone else.

Love.

You don't make her truly happy. Stefan does.

"No."

She felt his gaze but avoided his eyes.

"How long has it been going on?"

She frowned. "What?"

"Whatever it is you and Stefan have going on. The crush," he emphasised, like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever said.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I guess in a way since the day I met him."

Klaus scoffed. "That's preposterous."

"Why?" she said, looking to him with sudden anger rising in her chest.

They stopped walking.

"Because when you met him you were a human girl."

"As opposed to?" she shot back.

His eyes shone, clearly proud of her retort.

"A vampire; a woman – one with strength and confidence in herself."

It would be so easy to drown in his compliments but instead she willed herself not to lose her point.

"So what, I can't like the same guy I did a few years ago?"

"Not unless you've regressed."

She recoiled. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means even the doppelganger's outgrown her human love and you're still awaiting her table scraps."

She would've slapped him if she didn't feel like she'd just been hit; if she weren't completely paralysed.

"God I hate you!" she spat. "Go ahead and leave, terrorise the freaking town, see if I care!"

With that she turned and ran.

It took him a while to find her.

When he did it was five floors from the one they'd been on, in the clinic section of the hospital in a small empty consultation room.

She sat where the doctor would, her back to the patient chair; elbows atop the counter with her head in her hands.

Klaus switched on the light and closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything for a minute and he hovered, considering whether to touch her or not. Deciding against it, he opted to sit on the patient's chair.

Modelled somewhat after a dentist's chair, it wasn't the most comfortable seat and Klaus' legs hung off awkwardly at the angle he was sitting, but he could see her well enough and that was most important.

"You weren't wrong," she finally spoke, her voice scratchy.

They sat like that for a while, him not knowing what to say that would both be true and comforting, before she rotated her chair to face him.

Suddenly her face cracked into a smile.

"You are so sitting on that wrong."

"Yes, well, I've never been a fan of hospital furniture," he shrugged, a little bashfully.

She laughed then abruptly stopped, a realisation seemingly dawning.

"I don't really laugh that much anymore."

Respectfully he refrained from saying anything but she voiced his thoughts anyway.

"Stefan isn't exactly the funniest guy in the world."

"I have no idea what you mean," he smiled, and she burst into giggles.

Standing, she made her way over to him.

"Scoot over."

He did and she sat beside him, her legs dangling beside his.

"I never thanked you."

He looked down at her legs and remembered having them wrapped around him; thought about running his hand down their smooth length.

"You shouldn't. There was nothing else I could've done – it was all I could think about after I found out."

She was silent for a few seconds before turning her head to look straight at him.

"How did you find out?"

He met her eyes, regarding her for a few seconds, before relenting his secret. "I've had minions in town."

She smiled lightly and her eyes gleamed as her breathing dipped. "I kinda had a feeling."

He frowned a little. "You did?"

She nodded, ducking her head a little and looking up at him through her lashes.

"I didn't think you'd leave me alone."

He smiled and suddenly she realised how adorable it was and how his dimples were out and how they were really really close together.

"I assume you mean that as a good thing."

She giggled. "Nope, more like a 'You're a creepy stalker' thing."

His smile widened and she found herself thumbing over his dimple as her other hand ran up and into his hair, re-familiarising herself with his curls.

She leaned closer, laying her forehead on his, and she was pleased to note that she wasn't the only one breathing unevenly when their lips touched lightly.

"I want to kiss you," she whispered, her entire body running hotter with every passing millisecond.

"I think that goes against your usual rules of distraction," he smirked.

"I think I screwed the whole distraction thing when I told you to leave."

"And here I thought this was just you going above and beyond your line of duty," he teased, his gaze on her lips.

She rolled her eyes. "Klaus," she bit, "I want to kiss you."

"I'm not Stefan," he drawled – a test; a taunt.

"I want to kiss you."

With that she moved forward and the tiniest whimper left her lips as they touched his again. Klaus groaned when his lips were nipped apart and he simultaneously got a lap full of Caroline, rubbing against him like a feline as her hands tightened in his hair.

Her tongue frenziedly explored his mouth and he gave in to the shape of the chair, pulling her onto his lap properly as he put his legs up and reclined.

The new position gave Caroline ample opportunity to grind down against him and she moaned into his mouth.

"Oh, god," she whimpered, bunching her skirt at her hips.

In seconds it wasn't enough and her hands went to his buckle as he ducked against her, sucking and kissing her neck.

When he heard her groan in annoyance he looked up with a confused frown.

The blonde blew her hair away with a huff. "This chair really isn't made for getting pants off on."

He chuckled. "Somehow I don't think they had quite this activity in mind when they were designing it."

She laughed and climbed off his lap. Quickly he stood, getting his shoes, socks and jeans off. He looked up and she nodded.

"All of it."

In record time his Henley and boxer briefs joined the pile. He looked up again to find her studying him, nipping lightly into her bottom lip.

Keeping her eyes on his body, Caroline slowly undid the zip on the side of her skirt. Sexily she shimmied out of it and Klaus watched attentively as it slid down her legs and onto the floor, giving him full view of her purple underwear.

She reached for the hem of her shirt then hesitated for a second, her cheeks pinking a little.

"Don't tease," he urged, his voice half a growl.

She glared. "I'm not, it's just…"

He raised a brow as he waited for her to finish her sentence but she quickly started a new one.

"Just remember you're happy I have no reason to match."

He was utterly perplexed for the few seconds it took for her to pull her shirt up and off her.

He almost chuckled when he saw the snowy white bra, then became even more delighted once the meaning of her statement hit.

"Happy is an understatement."

She grinned sunnily and right then he did feel happy. It was despicably pathetic but the blonde smiling back at him so beautifully and innocently like they weren't in the middle of what they were made him indescribably happy.

She was ravishing.

He took a small step forward then reached toward her, hooking his index finger behind the band of her bra and using it to pull her stumbling into him.

Her giggles turned to moans when he spread her legs a little, settling between them as he kissed her deeply, revelling in her lips and the sweet taste of her mouth.

When she pulled away Caroline nuzzled into his shoulder, slowly rubbing her lower half against him with her arms wrapped around his neck to steady herself.

"W-would you be matching?"

All the sensations, particularly her warmth so close to him, were driving him so far from sanity that it took him longer than it normally would've to grasp her reference.

Then he bit out a chuckle. "That is by far the strangest way someone has ever asked me if I've been chaste."

She laughed a little, albeit amidst short breathy whimpers. "People ask you that?"

"Theoretically," he smiled.

She pulled back a little to regard him and he sighed the loss of her heat.

"So?" She worried at her lip; eyes wide. "I won't be mad or anything, I just wanna know since I told you and – "

"No," he answered, placing a finger to her swollen lips. "I wouldn't be matching in this strange scenario of yours where men wear bras and not matching means no sex."

She giggled for a long while before stepping back in to him, sucking on his collarbone and nosing at his skin.

His hands skimmed her body, revelling in her soft skin and the smooth lines, down to her hips where her non-matching panties sat, fitting her curves perfectly. His fingers slipped beneath the material as she kissed his shoulder.

"Why? Girls in NOLA aren't pretty enough?"

He slid down her underwear then stepped back, swiping some hair out of her face.

"I wasn't quite done being yours yet."

Her breath caught and she blinked, her lips slow in catching his kiss as he moved them backwards, sitting back down on the preposterous chair and pulling her onto his lap.

When she finally seemed over the shock, indulging in the kiss, he leaned back.

"I'll take the uncomfortable position," Klaus lamented with a teasing smirk.

"What a gentleman," she grinned. "Question: is a hospital a step up or down from the woods?"

He chuckled, his hand moving up her smooth leg. "Depends what your criteria is. Hospital has the roof working for it and no leaves; however, the woods didn't have plastic up your arse."

He smiled when she giggled. "Well I had wood grating against my back so no complaining."

"As you command, love."

She smiled as she lifted her hips then spread her thighs and sank down onto him.

"Mmmmmm," she hummed, her head falling back. "God, Klaus," she whispered.

Her verbal appreciation wasn't helping to draw his attention from the overwhelming sensation of her and he leaned forward to rip her bra off, revealing the rest of her perfect body to him.

She started moving when he had her breast in his mouth, and he hummed and groaned against it as she bounced on his lap, his hands coming up to aid her movements.

Gradually she became louder and louder, shouting to deities in breathy whimpers as she squeezed and rode; pulling at his hair to offset the pleasure.

Then she was screaming his name and speeding up; clawing at his back, and they both lost their minds for long enough to claim temporary insanity.