Tag to 10.12, About A Boy

It's over 1300 miles from Pendleton, OR to Lebanon, KS and I feel like the boys are still young enough they could totally do this drive without stopping to spend the night somewhere...me? No way. Besides, they're used to spending huge amounts of time in the Impala. So, I got to thinking: what would a 1300 mile trip be like for them? What would they talk about to pass the time? This is my version. I hope you like it. :)

Fifty miles were in their rearview mirror and the music blaring from the radio had long since been replaced with one of Dean's cassettes.

Sam gave his brother a sideways glance and grinned. "So, on a scale of one to Led Zeppelin, how much do you love Taylor Swift?"

Dean glared at him. "On a scale of "shut up, Sam" to "go screw yourself," how hard do you want me to punch you in the nose?"

Sam smothered a laugh but when he chanced a peek at Dean again, his brother was smiling. It was good to see him smile.

150 Miles

Dean reached over, turning the radio volume down and Sam glanced up from the research that was spread precariously across his lap.

"So, what did you mean back there when you said I pulled a "Dean Winchester?"

Sam's face registered surprise. "Dude, you don't know?"

"I know I did what I had to in order to get rid of that witch but that doesn't make it a "Dean Winchester." You would've done the same thing if she hadn't used her mojo on you. So wouldn't that just make it a "Winchester?"

Sam snorted. "Put a lot of thought into that, did ya?"

"Bite me."

After a few minutes of silence Dean asked, "So, you gonna tell me or what?"

Sam huffed, as if he shouldn't have to explain something that was so obvious. "You sacrificed what you wanted for someone else, Dean. It's what you do. It's what you always do and you apparently never give it a second thought or you wouldn't have to ask me what I meant."

"Sam…."

"You could've been free of the Mark, Dean."

Dean shrugged. "Well, yeah, but if I hadn't grabbed that little magic bag, we'd probably all be dead right now and what the hell difference would it make then, right?" Sam was staring out the window and Dean gave him a nudge. "Hey, am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right, Dean." But when Sam turned to look at him, his eyes were clouded with tears and Dean dropped the subject immediately.

328 Miles

"Dude, I'm starving." Dean glanced at his brother. "You ready for some grub? If not, I may have to eat my arm off. Hey, now there's a way to get rid of the Mark."

Sam glared at him with the most spectacular bitchface Dean had seen in a long while. "That's not funny, Dean."

Dean grinned. "Come on, it was a little funny."

"No."

"Yeah, it was." Dean poked his finger into his brother's left dimple. "Come on, Sammy, admit it."

Sam slapped his hand away. "I thought you were hungry."

"I am."

"So, you're gonna pass up pie?"

"What?"

Sam pointed out the window toward a sign advertising the best homemade pie in Idaho.

"Pie! Why didn't you say something sooner, Sammy?" Dean floored the accelerator. "Let's go, Baby. There's a piece of pie calling my name!"

350 Miles

"If that witch had known you, she would've given you pie instead of cake."

"Now that would've been awesome." Dean patted his bloated stomach, wondering if he'd overdone it. He'd been trying to stick to a strict diet but hey, at least he'd had a salad to go with his pie. Can't expect a man to go without pie forever.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Pie….cake….I really don't see what difference it makes."

Dean clucked his tongue in disapproval. "Sam, Sam, Sam…..I've tried so hard with you. Why must you be so difficult? When are you going to learn the ways of the pie, young Padawan?"

498 Miles

"Cas, hey, just checking in to see how things are going." Sam held the phone to his ear, listening and nodding as if Cas could see him. "Yeah, we're heading back from a case. Dean's here. Hold on, I'll put you on speaker."

Sam held the phone in the palm of his hand and pushed the speaker button. "Okay, Cas."

"Hey, Cas, what's up?"

"Hello, Dean. How are you?"

"Right as rain, Cas."

"I have never understood that expression."

Dean gave an exasperated sigh. "It means I'm fine, Cas."

"Yes, I know what it means. I just don't understand it."

"Um, Cas, what were you going to tell us?" Sam steered the conversation back to the subject at hand.

"Oh, yes. I don't want either of you to get your hopes up but I think I may know where to find Cain."

Dean watched as Sam's hopes soared through the roof of the Impala. "That's great, Cas!"

"It doesn't mean he will cooperate with us in any way, Sam."

Sam's face grew dark. "He will, Cas."

"Sam, you don't know him. He's not your average demon."

As Dean watched his brother's reactions to Castiel's revelation, he became concerned for him. Sam had done some desperate things to bring him back from being a demon. How far would he be willing to go in order to save him from the Mark? Dean saw the answer in Sam's face…as far as it takes.

537 Miles

Dean had the creepy feeling he was being watched until he realized it was only Sam intently staring at him, desperately trying not to burst into laughter.

"Dude, what's your problem? Do I have something on my face?"

Dean quickly glanced in the mirror but saw nothing. Before he could get out another word, a noxious odor assaulted his nostrils and he reached for the crank, hurriedly rolling down the window. Sam was giggling uncontrollably.

Dean stuck his head out the window, breathing in huge gulps of fresh air. "Dude, something crawled up your ass and died! That is disgusting."

Sam continued to giggle for miles.

719 Miles

"Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that time we were snowed in and ate about a thousand boxes of mac and cheese?"

"Why do you think I never eat that stuff now?"

"Aw, come on, you loved it. Remember the marshmallow fluff?"

"Dude, that was disgusting."

"What? You ate it like there was no tomorrow."

"I was hungry, Dean. Besides, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. You walked through a foot of snow to steal that marshmallow crap. I'm not always an ungrateful snot."

"Sam, you've never been an ungrateful snot."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Also, you totally loved that fluff. I don't care what you say."

855 Miles

"So, you'd kill Justin Beiber?"

"Oh, God, yes. How is that even a question?"

"Then that leaves Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus."

"Wait…and the only choices I have left are marry and fuck?"

"Yep."

"God."

"I don't think he would approve of this game."

"Can I change my vote?"

"Um….I guess."

"Okay, I'd kill Miley because there's no doubt that girl's possessed. I'd just be ganking another demon."

"So, you're gonna marry Bieber?"

"Hell, no."

"Then you're gonna fuck him?"

"I'm not playing this game anymore, Sam. It's stupid."

"Says the Bieber lover."

"Shut up, Sam."

"Here, give me your phone."

"Why?"

"I'll download some Bieber tunes for you."

"So help me God, if I find anything even resembling Bieber on my phone, I'll…"

"Sing along?"

"Touch my phone and die, Sammy."

"Okay, Bieber boy."

901 Miles

"Hey, can you pull over for a minute?"

"Nope."

"Dude, I really need to take a leak."

"You should have thought about that before you called me Bieber boy."

"Dean, that was miles ago. You really should just…..you know…..shake it off."

"Laugh it up, Sammy, but you're the one whose gotta piss."

"Stop…..don't stop…..I'll just pee all over your leather seat."

Dean slammed on the brakes. "Swear to God, it's like riding with a five year old."

973 Miles

"Dude, I love this song." Dean cranked the radio volume as high as it would go.

"Well, I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday…Come on, Sammy, you can sing the chick parts….And I never had a girl looking any better than you did….."

"Dean, I am not singing Paradise By the Dashboard Light with you."

"Someone has to sing the girl parts, Sam, and you're the only girl in the car."

"It never felt so good, it never felt so right….."

"Do you even listen to the words you're singing?"

"It's a kick-ass song, Sam. Admit it."

"Yeah, I'll admit it but I'm not singing it with you."

"Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night, I can see paradise by the dashboard light….."

"Come on, Sam. It's just a song."

"Not happening, bro."

"You're no fun."

980 Miles

"Do you need me to drive for a while?"

"Nah, I'm good. You can get some shut eye if you want. We're still a few hours from home."

"Maybe later." Sam bent over his phone, scrolling through the most recent web search for the Mark of Cain.

"Sammy, you don't have to spend every minute looking at that stuff."

"Why not?"

"Because I spent a week doing it. There's nothing there."

"I can't stop, Dean. Not until the Mark is gone."

"I thought you said I could beat this."

Sam turned to him and in the glow from the phone, Dean could see the lines of worry on his brother's face. "I believe you can beat it, Dean…..with all my heart I believe it, but it doesn't matter what I believe if you don't believe it yourself."

1107 Miles

Sam had finally drifted off to sleep, leaving Dean alone with his thoughts. Sam was right. He didn't believe he could beat the Mark. He didn't think he was strong enough. But Sam believed in him. That had to count for something. He'd do anything not to let his brother down.

I wanted you back.

Dean hadn't realized how badly he'd needed to hear something like that from his brother. Just last year Sam had made it clear he wouldn't save Dean if he was dying but something had changed. Dean didn't know what it was or when it had happened…..or maybe Sam had never meant what he'd said. Maybe he'd only been trying to hurt Dean. If that was the case, it had worked. Dean had felt like there was nothing left to fight for, which made it so much easier to take on the Mark. Now, it was all different. If Dean had any doubt how his brother felt about him, all he had to do was remember Sam's face when he said, "I wanted you back." It was written in every line of worry creasing his brother's forehead. Dean mattered to him and until recently Dean hadn't really understood how much he needed to know that.

1269 Miles

Sam moaned in his sleep and Dean reached over, placing his hand on Sam's chest. The moaning ceased but in a few moments Dean realized something else was going on. Sam's chest was hitching beneath his hand as if he were crying.

"Sammy?"

Dean slowed to a crawl, finally pulling the Impala over to the side of the road. He turned on the dome light and saw tears seeping from underneath Sam's closed eyelids. He'd never seen anyone cry in their sleep before and wondered how horrible someone's dreams had to be to make them do so.

"Sammy….wake up." He shook his brother gently, afraid of making things worse if he woke him abruptly. Of all the crazy things he'd ever dealt with, this was a new one. "Sam? Sam, wake up."

Sam's eyes snapped open and he lurched upward as something between a gasp and a sob escaped his lips.

Dean grabbed him by the arms. "Dude, are you okay?"

Sam nodded but continued to sob as he clutched his brother's arms.

"Sam, you're scaring me."

Sam finally released his hold on Dean and wiped his hands across his face. "I'm okay, really. It was just….I don't know….reflexes? My body knew I was awake. It just took a minute for my brain to catch up."

"I've never seen that happen before….not to anybody." Dean caught his brother's eyes and held them. "Has this happened to you before?"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, a couple of times. It's no big deal."

Dean wondered how Sam could keep something like this from him and then realized it was much easier than it used to be since they didn't spend as much time in motel rooms these days. Dean had also found it much easier to keep his own restless nights a secret.

"I'm okay, Dean, really. You can let go." Sam motioned to Dean's hands which were still gripping his arms even though Sam had relinquished his hold.

"Sorry." Dean dropped his hands to his own lap. "What the hell were you dreaming about, Sam?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Sam's face was cloaked in shadows but Dean could see the strain there, the weariness in his brother's face. Whatever battle Dean was fighting with the Mark, Sam was fighting just as hard and it was taking its toll on him.

"I just want to help."

"You want to help me, Dean? Then you need to believe you can beat that Mark. That's what you need to do."

"I want to believe it, Sammy, I do but…"

"You want to know what I dreamed, Dean? I dreamed you were gone. You were gone and I couldn't save you." Sam's voice became choked with fresh tears and he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold the tears at bay. "I can't lose you again, Dean. I just…..I can't."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Then you have to believe me when I say you can beat the Mark." Sam's voice was pleading.

"Sammy…."

"You're my big brother, Dean. There is nothing in this world I have ever thought you couldn't do. You can do this."

Dean saw the conviction in his brother's eyes but he felt the fear in his own heart….he knew the darkness contained there…..he knew the deeds he was capable of. Even now, he felt the tug of the Mark, the bloodlust burning within him, barely held in check. If it wasn't for Sam…...

If it wasn't for Sam, I'd already be lost.

Home

"Oh, thank God." Sam unfolded his tall frame from the front seat and stretched his arms over his head. "I thought we were never going to get here."

Dean dragged himself from the car, his back creaking. "I think I may be getting too old for long hauls."

"Pfft…..Dad was older than either of us."

"Dammit, Sam, can't I have one moment of pity?"

"Nope."

Sam popped the trunk and removed their bags. Dean glanced at his watch as he turned off the garage lights and they headed toward the living quarters. "We made it home in time for breakfast. You want anything? I'm cooking."

"I think I'm gonna try and grab a couple more hours of sleep."

"Yeah, you're right. That's probably a better idea." Dean stopped at his bedroom door. "Breakfast is on me….or dinner….could be dinner by the time we wake up."

Sam laughed and headed toward his own room. "Good night, Dean."

"Yeah, you too, Sammy."

Dean tossed his bag on the bed and stood there for a moment, then he grabbed his pillow and a blanket and headed for Sam's room.

Sam had already crawled into bed, fully clothed, when there was a knock at his door. "Come in."

Dean entered the room, carrying a blanket and a pillow. He gave Sam a sheepish grin and made a pallet on the floor. Sam watched him without saying a word until Dean's head hit the pillow.

"Dude, you're too old for long hauls but you can sleep on my floor?"

"Shut up." Sam could hear the smirk on his brother's face. "And if you let one of those putrid farts again, I'm out of here."

Sam smiled and burrowed under his blanket, asleep almost before he could finish his next thought. Dean is going to beat this.

And for a while the bunker was silent, no ghosts, no demons, no research and no nightmares. Just two boys sleeping, comforted by the knowledge their brother was near.

Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome!

Song lyrics: Paradise By the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud that I didn't have to look those lyrics up. :)

Also, if you've never woke from a dream crying, trust me, it's real and it's the worst feeling ever. And the dreams that caused it were my worst nightmares. I'll just leave it at that.