Jumpman is NOT Mario's father.

Hello, I'm Mario and I'm here to disprove a theory many people make up about me.

In the Donkey Kong games, because Cranky Kong is the original Donkey Kong and I haven't aged. Many people make stupid theories that the character in Donkey Kong is my dad, that "he's not Mario, that's Jumpman!" They also make bogus theories that I , no sorry my dad dies at the end of Donkey Kong Jr.

WHAT. A. LOAD. OF. BULLSHIT.

In Donkey Kong Jr for the NES, after beating all 4 levels I fall off a long cliff and fall off a long distance. I lie on the ground with a halo on my head and some people think that I….no sorry my dad (God this is gonna get confusing.) dies at the end of the game.

Has anybody played Donkey Kong Jr for the Arcade!? In that version I clearly get back up, and chase Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr off the screen. Donkey Kong gives me a kick and I go flying on the screen again, again I don't die, I get back up and run off. That proves my so-called dad didn't DIE!

And as long as I'm believing my dad's dead and I'm traumatized for life or something. Why can't I bring my dad back from the dead with say…..a FUCKING 1UP MUSHROOM!?

Also if the son of Jumpman is supposed to be the present Mario seen in games like the Mario vs Donkey Kong series. Then why the hell hasn't Pauline aged too? Pauline still looks like a young woman. Anybody who thinks I'm rescuing my very young looking mom in that game are idiots.

Also the NES manuals for the games of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr clearly call me Mario in them! Jumpman was my name before Nintendo decided to name me Mario. It is NOT a separate character in the series. In the Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr games, I have actually been referred to as Mario! The manuals clearly say it!

My Smash Bros trophy says I appeared in the original Donkey Kong. It never says I died or anything. I have never been referred to as Mario Jr in ANY GAME whatsoever. And what kinda name for my dad is Jumpman anyway? It's almost as stupid as being named Mario Mario (made fun of in another story. If you click on the author's username.)

The Mario for some reason has always been the same one in all the games. You can believe chapter 1 of this story or not. But whatever the reason that I haven't aged the same as Cranky Kong, I'm pretty sure it's not because of ancestors.

I apologize for the grumpiness but I'm just baffled people could come up with something so stupid. Sorry but that's how I feel…

THE END.