Shadowhunter

Chapter 9: Endurance

"You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all." -The Infernal Devices

Jesse remembered when he and Benji first met.

It was the first day of college at NYU. He and Beca were supposed to go to college there together, but that hadn't worked out—clearly. Jesse should've started college a semester late because of his break from school after Beca left, but he caught up on all of his classes in the summer and was able to start on time.

He had wanted a single dorm room. After Beca left, he wasn't the same, and he stopped hanging out with his friends. He didn't really want to be around anyone. It was as if a piece of him had been broken off when Beca left.

But of course, NYU didn't have many single dorms. So, he was put into a room with a guy named Benjamin Applebaum. Jesse's first thoughts were that he probably went by Ben, and that he was probably a total jock in high school. Most Bens were.

Then he actually met Benjamin. Turns out, he was the exact opposite.

Benjamin was a magician—sorry, certified illusionist—that went by Benji. He wanted to major in musical theatre, and had no problem demonstrating his illusionist talents, or showing off his Star Wars collection, all the while being humble about it. Not that bragging was much of an option unless you were friends with the cast of the Big Bang Theory.

They clicked instantly. Jesse wasn't too much like Benji, but he guessed that was a good thing. They worked well together nonetheless, and Jesse didn't have to worry about Benji partying every night or having a bunch of loud and irresponsible friends over.

Sophomore year, they moved out of their dorm and rented an apartment together. It was much more spacious; Benji had more room for his Star Wars collection that had actually managed to grow.

Benji helped Jesse with a lot of things—personal things. When he was down about Beca, Benji helped him through it. And vice versa. When Benji's dad was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Jesse was right there with him.

Seeing Benji now, weak and barely alive, nearly shattered Jesse's already broken heart. His best friend was hurt because of him.

Maryse and Robert Lightwood were in the infirmary when Jesse, Beca, Luke, Stacie, Chloe, and Emily all got there. They stepped aside when they saw Jesse, however.

Jesse marched over to Benji's bedside, tears threatening to surface. He blinked them back.

"I can't believe I wasn't there when you woke up," Jesse said. Benji managed a weak smile. "I am so, so, so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault. If I hadn't—"

"Jesse, it's alright." He coughed. "I'm alright. Bruised and confused, but alright."

"I know. I know you are. I'll explain everything. But not right now," Jesse decided. "You should eat. Or—or drink."

Benji placed his hand on his throat. "I am kind of thirsty. But, if you don't mind me asking," he paused, and looked at the rest of the group. "Who are all of these people? And where the hell amI?"

Jesse turned around, about to introduce everyone, when he saw Maryse pull Beca and Luke to the side. Just Luke and Beca. Together. Side by side. Like they'd fought together their whole lives. Like they were two peas in a pod. Like you didn't get one without the other.

And the chess match continues.

Luke had been thinking about what Maryse had said in the fire message the entire walk home.

Luke,

You all need to come straight to the Institute. There's something you need to see. Oh, and Jesse's friend is awake. Please hurry!

Maryse

So what could that have meant?

Several things, probably. A new cooking recipe, he had hoped. But he knew that whatever Maryse Lightwood needed to discuss, it had nothing to do with his roaring stomach.

Maryse pulled Luke and Beca away from Benji's bedside, and Stacie and Chloe followed shortly after. Beca made brief eye contact with Jesse, and then left the room, leaving him and Benji and Emily alone. She sort of felt bad for leaving Jesse out, but mundanes weren't to be involved in important Shadowhunter business. And whenever Maryse had something to say, it definitely had to do with important Shadowhunter business.

First things first: she hated talking quietly. Maryse liked to be upfront and in front of the Consul and the Conclave meetings. Secrets made her uncomfortable. As head of the Institute, she was required to tell everything to the Clave, and she did so without hesitation. But right now, Maryse was hiding something, and everyone knew it. It was even more obvious that she had yet to tell the Clave.

"Mom, what is it?" Stacie asked.

Maryse looked as if she'd seen a ghost. "Someone came to the Institute while you were away."

There was a pause. Beca was the first to speak up. "Who?"

Now Luke, Stacie, and Chloe looked as if they'd seen a ghost. Probably the same ghost. "Am I missing something?" she asked.

"Bring her out, Robert," Maryse called out to the hallway behind her. A door opened, and out came Robert Lightwood, and a person Beca didn't recognize. She was tall, blonde, and her eyes were bright green. Pretty.

Upon her skin, there were runes, but not many. Definitely not as many runes as she should have had. She had the Voyance rune on her right hand, a Mnemosyne rune on her forearm, and—that was it. Both were permanent ones that didn't fade over time like other runes. The others were just scarred runes, probably years old. What kind of Shadowhunter only has two runes?

She wore tattered black gear, but she must have left or lost her jacket somewhere. She was unarmed. No seraph blades, no daggers, no weapons at all. At least, no visible ones. On her neck, a Shadowhunter family ring shined on a silver chain. Beca couldn't make out the letter on it.

But the question remained. Why would an unprepared, un-runed, unarmed Shadowhunter wander into the New York Institute? Who was she?

"Aubrey," Chloe breathed. Stacie tightened her grip on her parabatai, as if a painful memory had just resurfaced in both of their minds and she was protecting her.

"Chloe." Aubrey smiled. "Stacie. Luke. It's nice to see you again."

"Aubrey," Luke said quickly, almost interrupting her. "How… we thought—we thought you were dead."

"Aubrey was kidnapped by Lexa Morgenstern," Maryse said. Beca paled. She continued with the rest of Aubrey's story, explaining how she was kept in a cellar/dungeon for three years and tortured for the information she wouldn't give up. She was beaten, whipped, and went days without food or water. Aubrey was staring at Beca the entire time Maryse was talking, but Beca pretended not to notice.

Aubrey's appearance matched her story, kind of. She had visible, raised scars along her arms, neck, and legs—more than the average Shadowhunter. When she turned, Beca could see scarred whip lashes across her back. That went along with the tortured part of the story. But she seemed like she had been well-fed and taken care of. She was muscular. She looked healthy. Definitely not starved. Maybe not even too beaten. Most of the scars looked more than just three years old.

Beca never knew Aubrey Penrose; she was told about her only yesterday at the Conclave meeting, just before Jesse arrived. Stacie had said she went MIA the day Beca arrived at the Institute, three years ago.

"You must be Beca M—Mitchell," said Aubrey, slowly approaching the much shorter Shadowhunter and holding out her hand. Beca accepted it. "I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance. I've been waiting so long to meet you."

"I… You too?" Beca said. What she meant was: I don't actually know anything about you and I wasn't looking forward to meeting you because everyone thought you were dead. And necromancy is illegal. So, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. You're making me uncomfortable.

"What, did Lexa tell you things about her?" Luke asked, suddenly feeling very protective towards Beca. Chloe glared at him.

"Yes, actually," Aubrey said. Beca felt queasy. What if she says something about Lexa being my mom?

But Aubrey only looked at her with kind eyes, mixed with some other emotion. Beca couldn't tell what it was. "She said she knows you have the Cup."

A breath Beca didn't know she had been holding was let out. "Her and, what, forty-five thousand others?"

"Did she send you to take it?" Luke asked.

"Luke!" Chloe exclaimed. "Stop being so rude." She elbowed him in the abs. Luke just shrugged.

"No. I escaped without her knowledge," said Aubrey, unbelievably calm. "Through a portal. I don't know where she was holding me for those years—I never got the chance to look out a window. Could've been anywhere on the globe. A warlock helped me escape."

If she was lying, she was hiding it pretty damn well.

"Do you know who?" Maryse asked. Aubrey shook her head. "Well, I'm glad you're back. Your room is still here. And the bathrooms are in the same place. What am I talking about? Of course they're in the same place. This Institute is a thousand years old. Ha. Oh, there's food in the fridge, or I can cook, or—"

"Maryse, it's okay. I'd actually like to get some sleep. Maybe shower, too." Aubrey turned toward Beca and the others. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Beca. And it's nice to be back." She turned on her heel and trotted up the staircase. Everyone watched her go.

"It's late," Maryse said, after a drawn-out moment passed. "We should all get some rest. Especially you four. I don't even want to hear about all the adventures you went on today."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on." Jesse paused, waiting for Benji to continue. "So your ex-girlfriend is a—a what? A Shadowhunter? And she fights demons for a living? And warlocks and vampires and werewolves and faeries actually exist?" Benji looked incredulous. "Cool."

Jesse had given Benji the rundown. He deserved to know what was going on, plus he had begun to remember things from Dumort, and Jesse didn't want him to think he was going insane. Although Jesse had not been so sure at first, Benji seemed to accept everything he was telling him.

"Cool? That's it? That's all you're gonna say?"

"Well, yeah. It sounds better than my theories. I thought I was kidnapped and put on, like, seven different illegal drugs at once, like amphetamines or something. This is much better. Plus, I've always believed in magic. Clearly," said Benji, pulling a quarter from Jesse's ear. Where he got the quarter from, Jesse wasn't sure. Do Shadowhunters use mundane money? And did he really just refer to himself as a mundane?

"So am I gonna meet them? Your friends? I mean, formally?"

Jesse glanced at the closed door. He was itching to know what was going on on the other side, but he wasn't invited to whatever it was. He was a mundane. That's just how it was.

"Yeah, you can meet Emily first. Emily?" Jesse called. The younger girl poked her head up from behind one of the infirmary desks. "She's a werewolf."

Emily smiled at Benji. "Nice to meet you. Glad you're not dead."

"… Thanks?" Benji said. His demeanor changed into a thoughtful one. "Can you… do the… the thing?" Emily glanced at Jesse, who was equally confused. "You know, the—the—," he put his hands up and positioned his fingers as if they were claws. "Wolf-y thing."

"You mean you want me to transform?" Emily clarified. Benji nodded. "No can do. I'm bound by the Accords. Werewolves can't go into full-on wolf-form in Institutes just as vampires can't tread inside them."

"Full-on wolf-form? Do you have like, a half-transformation then?" Benji inquired. Emily smiled, and then her eyes flashed yellow. "Woah."

The sound of a door clicking open led to the trio's turning heads. Beca and Luke appeared in the doorway.

Luke looked especially protective just then. Jesse could see it written all over his face. Something had happened behind that door, and he guessed he wasn't going to be let in on anything. Oh, and he wasn't supposed to be concerned, right? Because he was a mundane, right? That's what Beca had said.

"So, Mundane 1 and 2 are both alive and well," Luke said, clapping his hands together. Jesse immediately felt a pinch of annoyance. "Someone let Dr. Seuss know."

"Hi," said Benji.

Luke walked closer to the certified illusionist and held out his hand. Benji accepted it, with only slight hesitation. "Nice to formally meet you. Luke Herondale, demon hunter."

Benji was awe-struck at all of the tattoos on his arms, and his structured-build. He looked like he could kill someone. He probably has, actually. "Benjiman Applebaum, Keymaster. Are you the Gatekeeper?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Shadowhunters weren't very well-versed in mundane things like movies, computers, or social media. They stuck to Shadowhunter knowledge, because that's all they needed to know. Killing demons, drawing runes. Quip fast, die young.

"Just call him Benji," Jesse cleared up. He glanced over at Beca, who was deep into conversation with Emily. He couldn't make out any of the words they were saying; they were out of earshot. The Shadowhunter and the werewolf were laughing, however. That, he could see. It's funny how you can be at each other's throats one minute and act like nothing happened in the next.

He remembered that laugh like a punch to the stomach. Because really, that's what it felt like. A punch to the stomach. He used to make her laugh like that. He made her happy like that. When she laughed, it was like the world suddenly got ten times clearer. She was one of those girls who smiled with her whole face, not just her mouth. Jesse always loved that about her.

"So when should we leave?" Benji said aloud. Jesse almost didn't hear him. He didn't even notice that Luke had left the room. No one did.

He snapped out of his reverie. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we clearly can't stay here. Plus, I've got homework, and an apartment to clean up, and—"

"Wait, Benji, we can't just leave. I—I can't leave. Not now," Jesse said. Benji shifted his weight from one side to the other and groaned when he felt a shooting pain go up his side. Jesse reacted immediately, helping him into a more comfortable position. Beads of sweat ran down his temples and cheeks, and his forehead was hot. Something was wrong. Jesse placed a cold, wet washcloth to his forehead.

"You're feverish. You definitely can't leave. Not until you're better," Jesse decided. "Get some rest. If you need anything, call me. Do you want me to stay down here?"

"No," Benji said, weakly. "I'll be alright. Really, I will be."

Jesse almost believed him.

Eleven o'clock had come and gone in what felt like seconds. It was past midnight now, but Luke was wide awake. Thinking about the Silent City. Reliving everything.

Why am I so stupid?

An Endurance rune burned into his skin. He needed it. It stung, as all runes did, but it was a familiar, welcoming sting. Refreshing, even. Shadowhunters grew accustomed to the sensation fairly quickly, but select runes were more painful than others. Luke almost wished this one hurt more.

And then he heard that knock on the door.

Was someone throwing rocks at her window?

Beca was applying an iratze to her forearm, daydreaming as the stele chased away the peach-colored pigment in her skin and replaced it with black lines, when she heard a thump on her window. Then another. Then another.

By the Angel, if Jesse is up to his romantics at eleven o'clock at night…

But it wasn't Jesse. And they weren't rocks; they were acorns.

She sighed and put down her stele, then slowly approached the window. On the sill, a bright green leaf that was visible even in the darkness of night lay still, around a couple of acorns. Speaking of which—the thumps had stopped. Whoever left the leaf message must've known she'd received it.

Faerie messages were sent in acorns and on leaves, and they incinerated after the message was read. Beca never really understood that sort of magic.

She carefully opened up her window and grabbed the leaf. Who could have left it? A faerie, no doubt, but for what reason? She let her eyes rest upon the script. The writing was shaky.

Dearest Rebeca,

I do apologize for the faerie message. They are not as convenient as regular letters, but I had to make sure no one else read it. I know you know about your little power. It is true—but it is too long a story to explain how you obtained it. What is important is that you use it now. Go home. Find the gift I left for you. Do not tell anyone.

Anonymous

The leaf burned in her hands and crumpled to ash. Just as all faerie messages did.

It could have been her father. He could have paid a faerie to send the message. That must be it. Why else would she feel the urge to adhere to the message's instructions, as vague as they were? Had it been anyone else, she most likely wouldn't go. She wouldn't have this gut feeling that she should.

She grabbed her weapons belt and seraph blades and headed to the room Jesse was staying in. Since no one knew how long his stay would be, everyone decided it would be better to have him stay in a guest room. Not as fancy as a more permanent Shadowhunter room, but not too shabby.

Beca drew near the door to his room and raised her hand to knock, but paused. Should she wake Jesse up? Should she force him on a maybe-dangerous quest? It wouldn't really be forcing; she knew he'd go wherever with her, and vice versa. But maybe if he didn't know… she could protect him just a little longer. The thought made her breathing slow down.

Jesse is safe… How much longer will I be able to say that?

She slowly gripped the knob and turned, opening the door ever so slightly, leaving just enough room for her to slip through. Jesse wasn't a light sleeper; he was the opposite, actually. He always has been. Beca used to jump on his bed when they were little to wake him up because it was the only way. It became easier over the years, however; a nice shake to the bicep or side awoke him now. But not footsteps. Unlike Beca, footsteps never stirred him.

She stood by the side of the bed and watched him as he slept, observing the rise and fall pattern of his breathing. It was almost possible to imagine the old days, when there were no demons for her to kill, no Cup for her to find, no evil demonic mother for her to stop. Days when they could just be Beca and Jesse, and Jesse and Beca. Almost possible. Almost.

But those days weren't real. They just weren't.

She closed the door behind her and trotted down the hall to knock on Luke's door. He had to be awake. The demon-hunting night owl in him doesn't rest more than five hours.

The door opened. Luke was standing in the doorway, leaning against the side.

"What's up, Bec?"

She marched through the door and sat down in the chair at his desk. How does one approach such an ambiguous topic? Hey Luke, I got a message on a leaf from Faerieland telling me to go pick up a pretty present in my deceased home! How's your night going?

He sat down at the foot of his bed and waited for her to speak up.

She did. "I think my dad sent me a message."

"What?" Luke was… surprised. That's not exactly what he was expecting. How would a prisoner send a message? But he wouldn't say that to her.

"Well… a faerie message. I don't even know if it's from my dad, but I really think it is. I can't help but think that."

"What did it say?"

Beca paused, and looked at him dead in the eye. How much should she tell him? Her power? No, probably not. Not now, anyway. "It said I needed to find something that was left for me in my old house. Tonight."

"'Something?' That's all it said?"

She crossed her arms. "I think I'll know it when I see it."

Luke knew why she came to him. He'd be the only one willing to go on such a stupid mission. Regardless, he said, "I don't know if it's a good idea."

Music to her ears. "That's why I came to you. But if you don't want to come with me, I understand. I'll be back before tomorrow."

Luke stood up. "Don't be ridiculous, Beca." His voice was stern. "Of course I'm coming with you. But how do you know it's not a trick?"

She looked at him, and it was a look that he knew all too well, and she replied, "I don't."

A/N: Okay, just so there's no confusion, PLEASE don't start shipping Emily and Benji in this story. Emily's 15. Benji's 20. Ship them in the movie, but not in this story. That'd be weird. And illegal. And… no.

Also, I've gotten some comments… So just to clear those up, no, I don't ship Beca/Luke :) But they do have a pretty interesting story...

What did happen between them in those three years?

Let me know your thoughts on this chapter :)