A/N: Can you believe it? This story has been up for an entire year! Thank you all for your support and reviews (I know this story is second on my list of priorities, and I apologize for that). I figured it was about time I got around to updating again, considering my last A/N said I'd get better at it when I really haven't (I'm sorry). But, if you like this pairing (I'm assuming you do if you're reading this), I have another story up with a male Cousland and Leliana, and that's primarily what I've been focusing on lately. Wasn't originally supposed to have a plot, but...well, shit happens and it somehow ended up with one.

Anyway, past chapters in this story have mentioned Arin and Sera briefly meeting the Hero of Ferelden and co. during the Blight, and this chapter will have a mix of that and a little surprise for Skyhold's resident Spymaster. Next chapter will deal with Aedan and Weisshaupt (Aedan gets sidelined a bit more often than he really should, I know, but he is a minor character for a reason). But, without further rambling from me, chapter 30! Hope y'all like it!

At the sound of feet racing up the stairs, my mind starts running through possibilities as to why. A messenger from Charter? Did something happen in Val—

No, it's Arin and Sera...again. This is the third time today that they've come running upstairs to hide from whomever they've pranked, and while it's distracting when inevitably their victim comes looking for them, I don't necessarily mind allowing them to come here. The first time it was Josephine; she's the hardest person to lie to about their whereabouts. The second time it was Solas, and most recently, it sounds like Cassandra, unless it's Cullen. The two have a largely similar gait, especially in that armor. I suppose it has to do with all their time fighting.

I don't even look up this time. I just point with my quill to the stack of crates behind the balustrade, and the two of them clamber up into the rafters, past my ravens, and up high enough that the light if the torches doesn't reach them. A few moments later, Cassandra slams the palms of her hands down on my desk, and by the sound of her breathing, it's obvious she sprinted here, and still couldn't keep up with the elves.

"Where are they?"

"Where's who?"

"Leliana!"

I keep my face blank as I finish writing an order for Charter, and promises for supplies she needs for...delicate reasons. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." Faintly, I think I hear Sera snicker, and it almost becomes too hard for me to keep a straight face.

"I'm not fooled as easily as the last two, Spymaster."

Now I can't resist and the corner of my mouth turns up into a smirk as I flick my gaze to hers. "Debatable. I'd say you're far easier to trick."

She groans. "Where are they hiding?"

I shrug. "I assume you mean the Inquisitor and Sera?" The Seeker nods. I lean my arms back and stretch in such a way that I can see the two elves' faces, and by the way they're watching, they probably think there's a chance I'll rat them out this time. I let them, sit back forward, and sigh, shrugging again. "I'm afraid I really have no idea."

"We both know they're here."

"Perhaps."

Cassandra makes one of those disgusted noises she always makes, taking a seat at my desk, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see Arin shift nervously, climbing a little closer. "You coddle them too much, Leliana."

I arch a brow. "Now I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"You have a soft spot for the two of them," she says. "It's no secret that they come here to hide after attempting to destroy the Inquisition's reputation."

"Isn't our reputation more of Josephine's concern than yours?"

"It's everyone's concern, Leliana."

"My concern involves our enemies, not our reputation."

"Our reputation with our enemies," she corrects. "And dealing with them in an...appropriate manner."

"What's gotten into you? So professional."

"Something you're severely lacking in as of late," Cassandra retorts. "Now where are they?"

I look back down to shove the orders and list of supplies into an envelope, then stand. She follows me to the railing as I whistle to one of my birds. "I've no idea," I say as I extend an arm. The raven lands on my glove, giving an annoyingly loud squawk in my ear, and after rolling the envelope into the canister on its back, I head outside to the balcony. She follows me there too, arms folded across her chest.

"Leliana," she says. Her voice is the same she'd use to chastise some templar for making a mistake. It grates on my nerves, but at this point, I deserve it. We both know I'm lying, but I'm stubborn enough to keep it up until she can't.

"I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Where's the Inquisitor?"

"What did they even do this time?" Her cheeks actually redden, and I decide to drop it. "Never mind."

"Just tell me where they are?"

"Well, by now, I'd hope they're smart enough to have made a break for the main hall," I reply nonchalantly. I throw my arm up and the raven kicks off, heading east towards Crestwood. "Though they're evidently not the brightest people in this keep."

She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "You realize you do coddle them."

I shake my head. "No, I don't."

"Leliana." Now it's that voice she uses when she knows that I know I'm lying, something similar to the same one Justinia would use if she was attempting to mother me. The same one parents use when their child is in trouble, but won't admit to doing whatever it is that got them there when there's no other possible explanation.

I groan. "Fine, maybe I do coddle them. So what?"

Cassandra laughs in disbelief. "Of all people, you are the last I'd expect to put up with Sera enough to actually coddle her." I roll my eyes, debating about going back inside where it's immensely warmer, but decide against it. They might need more time to get out of the rookery.

"And what makes you say that?"

She huffs. "What makes you protect them so much? They're adults, not children, but if they're going to act like children, then they should be treated as such."

"Exactly why they need someone to—"

"No, stop with the lies." I snap my jaw shut. "I want the truth. Why?"

With another sigh, I turn around to rest my elbows on the balustrade and fix her with a quizzical look. "Why does this matter to you?"

"Because it's ridiculous and I want to understand."

I scoff. Cassandra. Wanting to understand. Now that's almost as ridiculous as what I'm doing with the two elves. Never before have I heard of her trying to be so...so friendly to want to understand the way someone else was thinking. Except with the Inquisitor himself. They've gotten rather...close. Varric and I have a bet on when they'll actually do something about their feelings rather than dance around them.

As the thought crosses my mind, I realize how ridiculous I've actually gotten in the last few months. I act like I've grown from the same idiot that trusted Marjolaine, but really, I'm just the exact same idiot, and all that's changed is how I deal with people and view the rest of the world. I've gotten over the idealism, stopped expecting everyone to be good just for the sake of being good, and even gotten used to it, but somewhere, that same stupid fool of a self I was twenty years ago still functions better than me.

That, or I really am just friends with Varric and choose not to admit it. Or both. Probably both.

I debate about telling her that, or the whole truth, and after a moment, decide it's just smarter if I tell her how it really is. She's standing beside me now, arms folded over her chest and leaning her back on the stone railing, watching me with that creepily intense stare of hers.

"Have you ever felt responsible for someone?" My voice is barely above a whisper, half embarrassed and half unwilling to speak of those memories. "Have you ever looked at someone who considers you a friend and realize you treat them like little more than a pawn, and then decide to better yourself for them?"

"Once or twice," she admits.

"Now imagine if you owed that person your life on top of that, and then you'll get what I've got with those two."

"I see," Cassandra says. "You mother them because you feel like you owe them for something that happened during the Blight." How in the Maker's name would she— Oh, right. Arin.

"You could say that," I say. "You could also say I mother them for similar reasons Justinia mothered me."

"You deserved that."

"Now you're the one getting off-topic."

She snorts. "Continue."

I find myself twisting the ring on my finger through my glove as I peer down at the courtyard, watching Cole flit between people and doing his...helping thing. Either he knows I'm watching him the same way anyone knows they're being watched, or he can hear my thoughts even at this distance. I think he smiles, and I assume it's the latter. Cole and I get along rather well until he starts digging on one of my bad days, and doesn't shut up about the pain. Those are days I have to send people out of the rookery to actually work on their own. No one needs to hear about my past. What's already public knowledge is the limit I'm willing to share.

"So Arin told you we had a brief encounter in Denerim's Alienage?" She nods. "And you've seen darkspawn." She nods again. "And you also know Arin's as good as an orphan." Another nod. "Did he tell you what happened when we found him and Sera? What was going on?"

"Only that once the Warden-Commander bribed him for information, and the other time was when the horde reached the city."

"The first time doesn't really have anything to do with it," I say. "Aedan, Alistair, and I were too busy watching for guards while Elissa paid them." Cassandra shrugs and I sigh again. "The second time is what really gets me."

"Oh?"

"Aedan and I ran ahead of Elissa and Alistair, intending to help some of the elves evacuate or get to someplace safer than the Alienage. The two of them stayed back with Aedan's brother and kept darkspawn from running in after us, so we only had to worry about the darkspawn in the southern district of the city and the ones in the Alienage itself. We'd barely crossed the bridge when we caught a pack of the things setting fire to some of the homes and dragging off children for Maker-only-knows what, and Sera was one of the kids."

Cassandra can only nod.

"Darkspawn, they take women to...for breeding purposes, and that's the only possible explanation I have for them leaving Arin behind." Her eyes have widened at this point. "Anyway, an alpha was dragging Sera and some elven woman through the streets, and while I went to deal with that issue, Aedan had heard someone screaming from inside one of the burning shacks, and broke the door down to get whomever it was outside. It was... Aedan tells me Arin was hanging over his mother's body. She'd died of smoke inhalation."

"That...Maker."

I give her a sad smile and look away. "The woman had run off when I killed the hurlock, but Sera was petrified, and I had to actually carry her away from the darkspawn. Aedan was busy forcing a healing potion down Arin's throat, so I had to keep the creatures back, and, well..."

I try so desperately not to remember what my first immediate opinion of Sera was. I didn't remember her straight away, not when she first joined, and I did not like her. It took Arin asking me if I was "that woman with the Wardens" during the Blight for me to remember, and now, I just feel guilty constantly.

"Well?" Cassandra urges.

"I left my side exposed in the fighting after I ran out of arrows," I explain. "And when I turned, there was a shriek, claws inches from my head, but impaled on a fallen sword."

"Sera was holding it?"

I nod carefully. "Sera was holding it." I pause for a few minutes, swallowing back the onslaught of so many things I could say to actually get my point across that I'm still beyond grateful for what she did when she was ten. "And Arin...I don't know. I feel responsible for him because I still see the boy ridden with shock as he watched his home burn. He trusted me enough to come and talk about issues he was having when we were still in Haven. He's my...friend, but I can't get past the wide-eyed elven children sitting on the ground, watching monsters drag away their friends and family, and kill anyone not fit enough for their standards." I shake my head furiously. "What child deserves to see that?"

"It was the Blight," Cassandra says simply. "It wouldn't be so terrifying if it was pretty."

I snort a bitter laugh, still playing with the wedding ring. It has become a nervous habit of mine, especially when that itch to run to the Deep Roads becomes unbearable. No one here knows I'm a Warden except Cassandra and Blackwall, and Blackwall only knows because I confronted his stupid ass for lying about it. Cassandra knows because...well, I wouldn't have really been able to hide it from her, what with me telling Justinia and Cassandra watching the woman like a hawk.

Watched her as well as I did, and we were still powerless to stop the Conclave.

I'm more disgusted by the fact that Elissa knew it was going to happen, and she still didn't warn me about Corypheus.

"I thought they died before the Archdemon fell," I admit. "I remember thinking about the two of them while I was having my injuries looked over, thinking that the healers would be better off looking for children like them and saving their lives instead of fussing over a couple broken bones."

"You had broken bones?"

"I was knocked down a staircase in Fort Drakon and launched over the railing of said staircase, and fell twenty feet onto a table. Yes, I had broken bones. Just an arm and a couple of ribs, though. Thankfully, it was on the way down from fighting the damned dragon." She raises a brow. "Darkspawn came out of an armory to the east and chased after us. I was in the back and...you know how it is."

She rolls her eyes and snorts in a sad way of amusement. "I assume you didn't expect to see either Arin or Sera again."

"Like I said, I thought they died. After all, what chance did two small children stand against the horde? I had no idea Arin was a mage."

"Quite the reunion."

"I only work during the dramatics," I reply, laughing once. "Dramatic darkspawn battles and I'm there."

She grimaces. "How poorly did your encounter with Corypheus go?"

"The short version? I killed his dragon, but its got a bad case of red lyrium corruption and decided to show up at the worst possible time with its darkspawn magister."

"I despise your sense of humor."

"Really? I'm not sure when that developed, actually." I shrug. "Let's just leave it at it wasn't pretty; I nearly blew up a cavern with myself and my friends still inside, and we found Corypheus less than an hour later, testing his orb and opening Fade rifts."

"Sounds like this is a notch down on the totem pole."

"I'll take the boring over the deadly at this point. Ten years of being chased by darkspawn, demons, and Maker knows what else, only to end up as the Spymaster for the Inquisition? I feel like it's a promotion. There's a lower chance to find giant cave spiders here and there's no darkspawn. I'm perfectly happy sitting at my desk all day for that trade off."

She laughs. "If you say so, Spymaster."

"Besides, if I want to leave, I'm sure Arin's offer to go on one of his trips to the Hinterlands still remains."

"I'm sure it does," she agrees.

The conversation fails for quite a while, lapsing into a friendly silence, and I'm glad for it. Cassandra and I don't speak very often as of late, mainly due to her training with Cullen's soldiers, or being out with the Inquisitor, or me being busy with paperwork. When I said I was glad I was only tackling paperwork nowadays, I wasn't joking. This is the first break I've really gotten since the Blight and I'm not complaining. I finally have the chance to relax, just a bit, but it feels so good that it's almost unfair.

Cassandra's stiffening and the rustle of armor tells me someone is in the doorway, and I turn. One of Cullen's "half soldiers." They're little more than glorified messengers, but they run information between me, him, and Josie all day.

"Lady Montilyet requests your presence immediately, Spymaster," he says. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he scurries off to deliver messages elsewhere.

I straighten, stretching, and say, "I'll see you later, Seeker."

"You as well, Leliana."

She lingers a while longer, no doubt to hunt for the source of whatever embarrassment she suffered, and I head down through the tower. Dorian nods politely in my direction, but when I pass Solas, we exchange equally hateful glares. His eyes are full of contempt, as I assume mine are. It doesn't matter, however. We have more important things to worry about than the identity he conceals...poorly.

As I cross through the main hall, I do my best to remain inconspicuous, but when it's typically messengers coming to and fro within this tower, it's a difficult task even for myself. Most people ignore me, thankfully, and a couple look in my direction, but that doesn't matter, either. I'm across the vaulted room and sneaking through the first of two doors to Josie's office. I push the second door open, hearing something above the doorframe click, but by the time I realize what it was, it's too late. I'm already halfway through stepping into the room when a bucket tips and spills water on my head, much to the amusement of the Antivan woman, the Inquisitor, and a very familiar Fereldan face. Two Fereldan faces.

"That water had to be colder than your heart," Arin quips.

I spit out a mouthful and wipe a torrent of it off my forehead. "Very funny," I say, shaking off my hand. "Hilarious." Josie is still giggling, as are the two Fereldans, and I give the three of them the darkest look I can manage while being drenched. "Now I'll have to spend all night cleaning my armor so it doesn't rust."

The man snorts. "You can, or you can get new armor."

"I'm not a nobleman that can afford such things," I retort.

He grins. "But you're married to my little brother."

My face must pale, or the realization of what he said must hurt him too, and the room goes completely silent for an uncomfortably long time. I broach the silence carefully, asking, "How's he settling in? Has he said anything?"

"Aedan's as happy as he can probably be," Fergus says. "Gets lonely without...you know."

We both shift uncomfortably, glancing at the older woman in the room, whose expression has darkened. It's easy to forget what happened to this family during the Blight, and I hate myself for it. They've accepted me simply because Aedan did, and I repay it by forgetting what Arl Howe did to them. Ugh, I'm horrible.

"So," Arin says, clasping his hands together. "Would you like to introduce everyone? You seem to know all of us, Spymaster."

I feel like he's mocking me, but I keep my opinion to myself. "Inquisitor..." He nods, a small smirk tugging at his lips, and I gesture to the two Fereldans standing in the room. "This is Eleanor Cousland, Teyrna of Highever, and her eldest son, Fergus. Allow me to introduce—" I grind my teeth at the word, much to Arin's amusement, "—Josephine Montilyet, ambassador for the Inquisition, and Arin Lavellan, Herald of Andraste and our Inquisitor."

Pleasantries are exchanged quickly. Whatever the two of them are here for, they must want to get it over with, and fast. I don't even want to think of the chaos Highever's been in since Denerim burned.

I skirt around to Josie's side, leaning over to whisper out of the corner of my mouth. "What did you need me for?"

"Sera's prank," she replies. "The Inquisitor made a—"

"Of course he did." She smirks and shrugs, saying something about how I need to lighten up, and I laugh once. "If there's nothing else, I have an elf to track down."

"We'll speak after supper," the Teyrna says. It isn't a request either; it's a statement of fact. I nod hurriedly, taking a step closer to the door. I remove the bucket from its trigger cord and make a motion with my hands, but before I can go, Fergus traps me in a hug.

"Meet us in our quarters in an hour," he whispers. Then he releases me, and I leave like nothing was ever said.

As ordered, I slip into the guest quarters allotted to most upstanding nobility. I don't think we've actually used this wing since arriving, other than to set it aside for someone of the Teyrna's stature.

I don't knock; I slip inside quietly, shutting the door behind me, and take a few steps into the room. I'm not dripping water like I was when I chased Sera down, scolded her halfheartedly, and went to change. I'm in simple clothes now, a fitted shirt and loose trousers tucked into my boots, and am actually halfway grateful for the excuse to wear something more comfortable.

"It's frightening how you just...appear," Fergus says, looking up from a notebook he's scribbling in.

I shrug, looking around the room. It's rather large, probably why Josie had it sectioned off for the better of the nobility. "Why am I here? I'm very busy."

He gets up and crosses the desk, passing me an envelope. "I had to dig this out of our things. Mother and I came to draw some of the Orlesians away from Highever's lands, giving Anora a break from the raids. This way, we get an excuse to leave, and we get to deliver this." He gestures to the envelope in my hand. "Surprise, surprise!"

Frowning, I turn it over in my hand. There's no seal on the wax. "What is this?"

"What do you think it is? I'm not travelling halfway across a country just to deliver a secret message for just anybody."

I try not to let my smirk show, but he sees it anyway. "Thank you, Fergus."

He nods, smiling. "It's the least I could do. You've done much for my family, and I've never repaid the debt we owe. I figure if I can start now, perhaps I can find the others that helped us take back Highever."

"You don't owe me anything for that. It needed to be done and...whatever you might've owed any of us has been repaid by your siblings twice over." His smile broadens, but it looks forced, and before I can second guess myself, I grab the man in a hug. He's a good four inches taller and far more broad than Aedan is, and when he returns the gesture, I feel like I'm about to be swallowed by the world.

Maybe that's what it's like to actually have a family. To feel smothered to the point of bursting, but accepting it because you love the person smothering you.

"You're actually very small," he whispers with a laugh.

"No, you're just huge," I retort.

He laughs again as he releases me, patting my shoulder. "I still have no idea how he got past the accent. Maker, it's overwhelming."

I roll my eyes. "Just like your sense of humor."

"That hurt!"

"I specialize in hurting people."

"Right, forget I said anything," he replies. "Anyway, if there's anything you need from us, we'll be here for the rest of the week before starting off for Highever again. Mother wants to speak about calling the Orlesians out of Ferelden for the time being in turn for our resources, but we'll see what happens."

"Sensible," I agree. "Thank you for the, ah...letter. I'll leave you to it."

Fergus nods politely as I head back out into the hallway.

The only one in this keep that can be dead serious, and I have the strangest of people I'm close to.