Hi! I am sorry for taking so long to update, work and studies have been terrible these months. But I finally managed to write the last chapter! Yay!
I want to thank you guys so much for the reviews; they were my motivation to keep going. I'm probably the slowest writer ever… I get like 4 lines per hour! But I really wanted to finish this, so thank you for your support.
[Offtopic for Latin-Americans?: about the "double J duo", a few days ago I was watching El chavo del 8, and I just noticed the similarities between Juvia and La bruja del 71… there are so many! I laughed my ass off! I'm sorry, I had to share this with you~]
Ok, last chapter!
Enjoy!
Chapter 4: "Changes"
"Are you jealous of Juvia because of me? What do you mean?" asked Gray, still in disbelief.
"Well… she is in love with someone who makes her happy everyday"
Gray felt a little disappointed since his heart was naively waiting for another answer, but he understood. Juvia used to be gloomy and lonely, mostly because of her past. She got bullied as a child and her ex-boyfriends broke up with her because of that. Erza had suffered in a different way too, but she still wasn't able to get over it.
"Even when she thought she was cursed and that her existence was meant that way, you brought light back to her life. You put a smile on her face, and now she has something–… no, someone to live for" she said barely swinging "Juvia found a family here in Fairy Tail and is not alone anymore. She met that person who fills her heart, and strives every day to get closer to you. I admire her way to face life. And Gray, you made that change in her"
The Fullbuster was thoughtfully looking at his shoes without saying a word. Maybe she was right about Juvia, but he didn't feel it that way. Life would be so perfect if he could just return the feelings of the water mage, but it wasn't so simple… no when his heart had never felt for Juvia what it had for Erza.
"Now that I think about it, you brought that light into my life too"
'Then why aren't you the one in love with me?'
"You are special, Gray. I don't know how you do it, maybe you don't know it yourself, but you manage to give us hope. And somehow, when I'm with you, I realize my problems aren't as big as I have imagined... or maybe they aren't just because I know you are here" she said letting out a sigh and starting to look sad again "I wish… I wish Jellal could be more like you"
'Don't play with me… don't compare me to him'
"Juvia will probably get the life I have always dreamed of. And I know you seem to be tough, but you care about her. That song was so sweet it really made me feel a little jealous–"
"The song wasn't meant for her"
Those words came out from his mouth before he could realize. It took both of them by surprise, but there was no regret. Gray didn't want her to keep thinking he had feelings for Juvia.
"What? But… then… whom?" Erza was really confused. She could have sworn the song was dedicated to the lovely blue mage. When did Gray develop feelings for someone else?
"I…" he was hesitating, should he tell her? Was that the right decision? "I… can't…" no, he didn't want to tell her the whole truth; he knew her heart had always belonged to someone else "… Sorry"
Erza didn't know how to feel about it. She sensed there was something wrong with Gray, why would he want to keep it a secret? There were no secrets between them!
"Don't you trust me?"
"That's not it. It's just that… I can't tell it to you" he said shaking his head still looking down.
"Why? You know I would support you!"
"I know, but…" he couldn't say anything.
"Is it one of our friends?" she asked trying to guess.
"…"
"Lucy? Mira? Cana?"
"No, it's not that simple–"
"Then a taboo? Wendy?... Oh my God! Natsu? Or perhaps… you are also in love with Jellal?!"
"Are you nuts?!" he looked at her with the most puzzled face he had. Seriously, what was she thinking!
"Then tell me" she wanted to know. She needed to know. If the song wasn't for Juvia, then it was a platonic fantasy just like hers. The way it made her feel must be somehow related to Gray's own feelings as well. And if someone was making him suffer like this, she certainly wouldn't sit idly and do nothing about it. If he didn't want to tell her, she would have to figure it out herself. Someone to Gray who could be like Jellal to her, maybe… "Ultear?"
Ultear… the sole name brought back a mixture of feelings he wasn't able process at the moment. Yes, she meant a lot to him. He owed her so much, more than he thought. It wasn't just his life, it was everyone's lives! The fact that he was able to breathe, to laugh, to cry, and to share this moment with Erza… everything was thanks to her.
"Ultear, I really like her" admitted Gray.
"… S-So… she–" muttered the red haired girl.
"But not in the way you are asking me right now" he interrupted looking at the cloudy sky, no stars where shining at the moment "She is like a sister to me. A sister that I knew too late" the Fullbuster added now facing his partner.
Erza let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Was she… relieved?
They felt silent for a second. She realized it was hard for him to speak about Ultear, maybe as hard as it was for her to speak about Jellal. She felt bad to have asked so abruptly, but Gray knew Titania wasn't giving up just because of that.
"Why the sudden interest in my love life?"
"Because I care about you" her answer came so fast, almost as if she was waiting for him to ask that exactly. Erza didn't hesitate; she was as determined as always "I feel that I rely in you too much. Now I want to help you out"
"There's no way you can help me with this"
"Why?"
"…"
"Tell me"
"…"
"Gray!"
"She loves someone else, ok? And you can't do anything about that"
The scarlet girl got taken aback, she wasn't expecting that.
"Erza, I know your intentions are good, but trust me… there's nothing to do here"
"Have you told her?" –maybe that was the answer–.
"Why should I? She'll never see me as anything more than a friend" he wanted to look at her, but he knew his eyes would let him exposed.
"You will never know if you don't fight for it!"
"No" he sighed "There's no meaning in telling her. It would only hurt both of us, I know. She'd reject me... and even then I won't be able to stop thinking about her"
"You mean… the same way Juvia can't stop thinking about you?"
"Yes, something like that" he admitted "I understand Juvia's feelings, and I don't want to hurt her. She is a great woman and she deserves to be loved, it's just that I… don't love her" he said turning to face Erza "… the same way the person I love doesn't love me back because she wants to be with someone else" the frustration in his expression was evident.
"So everybody is in love with the wrong person?"
"That seems to be the case. It's crazy, I know. Like a bad soap opera"
"Anyway, never lose hope. Feelings can change" said Erza giving him a reassuring smile.
"Are you sure?"
"Mmmh… think about Natsu. I'm quite sure he had feelings for Lissana when they were children, but now he is all over Lucy, right?"
"Eh?! How can you be so sure about that?" asked Gray rather embarrassed and shocked by the way she made that a fact.
"It's pretty obvious, don't you think?"
"W-Well, maybe…" he really didn't want to talk about his flaming rival's love interests right now.
Erza looked at him. She wanted to cheer him up, but he seemed lost in thought again.
"I tried" murmured Gray.
"What?" asked Erza barely hearing his voice.
"I have tried to get rid of my feelings. I have tried so many times, it's ridiculous" he said standing up, unable to stay quiet.
"Gray…"
"But I can't. I can't change my feelings. I can't think of someone else, I can't pretend she is Juvia" the ice mage closed his eyes in frustration lifting his head. Maybe he didn't really want to forget about Erza. He loved her and he knew nobody else could ever take her place. He wouldn't try to force his feelings anymore, he would just keep them to himself and–
What? What happened? Something interrupted his thoughts? And why does it feel so warm all of a sudden?
The scent… The strong grip… Gray opened his eyes and the only thing he could see was her distinct red hair in front of him.
"E-Erza" he managed to say slightly blushing, still surprised by the sudden embrace.
"Don't worry" she said loosening the grip and putting her hands on his shoulders to look directly at him with a soft smile "You will find your happiness, I know"
Oh my! Her face was way too damn close! He HAD to change the subject if he didn't want to do something that could end up ruining everything.
"W-What about yours?"
She took off her hands from Gray and turned a little, trying to hide her countenance.
"Don't worry about me" she said trying to sound confident "I'm strong, and time will help"
"Erza, there's no reason for you to give up on Jellal, I'm sure he loves you back"
"No" she said letting out a sigh "And even if he does, we will never be together; we chose different paths in life"
He just stared at her for a moment; he knew she was just pretending to be fine.
"May I ask you something?" inquired the ice mage.
Erza looked at him, confused.
"What do you like about him?"
Gray knew that question was just his jealousy speaking, but it was something he had been willing to ask for so long.
Erza's eyes went wide. What did she like about Jellal? Well, so many things! But…
"I... I don't know" what could she say? "I mean, I really liked him when we were children, but now his personality has changed and he is like a completely different person. I can't say anymore what I like about him…" she said turning to the side, avoiding Gray's look "But still, I want to be with him and get to know him better. I know the old Jellal is still somewhere inside of him" her voice was starting to break.
Gray's chest tightened. Why did she have to suffer for a guy like this? What did Jellal do to her?
He walked around to get closer and meet her gaze.
"Erza, everybody changes. You are not the same shy little girl he used to know either" he saw her eyes where fighting back the tears again. God, he hated to see her crying. Girl's tears were one of his weak points, especially hers.
Before realizing, Gray was wrapping his arms around Erza in a protective hug. He came here to comfort her after all, not the other way around. Anyway, he was glad that she could not see his face right now because he knew she would notice the embarrassment on his face even though he was trying to stay cool.
"It's ok" he spoke softly in her ear "It's not something you have to put into words; you just have to feel it"
It surprised her at first, but that was exactly what she needed. Erza finally burst into tears in Gray's chest, her arms also wrapped around his torso, holding him closer. She cried and cried, letting out everything she had been holding back all day. Gray caressed her head slowly and they stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the proximity. It's been so long since he could really feel her this close, just the two of them.
Erza knew Gray was right, she knew Jellal would probably never be the same, she knew both of them wanted her to be with someone else, she knew all of that! But how could she make her heart understand? It couldn't be helped. She hated it… she hated love, she hated Jellal, she hated Valentine, she hated everything. It was supposed to be a happy day, but all she could do was mourn and whine. Titania tried to stay strong and not let it bother her, but it was too much. Everything that day made her feel awful… Well, maybe not everything. She didn't expect Gray to stay with her like this; being by his side had always made her feel better; she was glad he had found her there. Erza could just be herself and tell him everything because she knew he would always listen to her. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Her first friend in Fairy Tail, maybe her best friend; the one who knows her better and likes her that way.
She wasn't crying anymore, but she didn't move an inch. Being in Gray's arms felt so good… she felt safe, understood, supported. His chest was surprisingly warm, and the way he was caressing her hair made her feel like a little girl again, she liked it. Even though he still had his clothes on, she could hear his heartbeat. The reassuring sound made her forget about all her problems, her breathing now synchronized with his. Without noticing, a little smile appeared on her face.
And as if Erza's frame of mind were connected to Heaven, clouds started to vanish. One after another, the starts appeared to join the moon and fill the vast dark sky above the two mages.
Suddenly she realized… when did his chest become so wide? Until then, she wasn't aware of the muscles Gray had developed through the years; he was already a grown up man! His arms also felt really strong, and he was about the height of… Jellal. But the ice mage wasn't him. And you know what? That was great. Maybe she lost Jellal when she left the Tower of Heavens years ago, but she would never regret joining Fairy Tail.
'I'm really happy I got to know you'
At this thought, Erza didn't understand why her face started to feel so warm all of a sudden; was she… blushing? No, impossible. No, no, no, no! Of course she was fond of her stripper friend, but she would never develop any other kind of feelings for him… right?
"Gray"
"Hm?"
"If next year you are still single– I mean, if you are not dating the person you like…" she made a pause, Gray carefully listening to her "w-would you mind spending Valentine with me again?" she asked with her head still on his chest, kind of embarrassed to have asked something like that.
Gray's eyes went wide. Was Erza Scarlet asking him for a date? Just the two of them? Alone? Ok, she wasn't probably thinking about anything like that. It was just a favor –a paradoxical favor. But he was frozen; he didn't know how to give her a proper answer.
Erza could feel his body was tense. Maybe he didn't like the idea after all.
"I'm sorry" she said starting to loosen the grip to release the hug "if you don't want to–"
But Gray held her closer once again, hiding his face on her hair.
"I'd love to" he whispered "And don't worry… either way, I will"
She couldn't have expected those words would make her feel so full of joy, something warm comforting her from the inside. She was relieved to know Gray wasn't rejecting her like Jellal did before. But wait, why did he say either way? If he had plans with his date she wouldn't want to bother him! Unless–
'Could it be possible?'
Due to her own anxiety she hadn't noticed until now that the ice mage's heartbeat was still pounding like crazy.
'Maybe Gray's crush is actually…'
Everything made sense that way: the reason why he didn't want to tell her, his reactions, his words, and maybe even the fact that he was the only one who left the guild a few moments ago to come after her! If that was true, then what should she do? Would she reject him?
Erza slightly pulled him away, enough to get to see his face. The face of the one who is always by her side, through thick and thin, supporting her more than any of her guildmates. It was so confusing. She thought she loved Jellal, then how could she feel something for Gray? Maybe it was a different feeling? And what if she was wrong and the guy in front of her loved someone else? Even if that was the case it was too late, the truth is that the more she saw him, the less she cared about everything else.
Gray just stayed there, a little confused by Erza's stare but admiring how gorgeous she looked under the moonlight. He wished his magic could freeze time... but not now because she was… moving? Her face was slowly getting closer to his own! He got nervous, what was she doing? Without thinking his eyes focused on her slightly parted lips.
"Gray"
The named guy didn't say anything. His heart pounding in expectation.
"… Thank you"
Fireworks appeared in the sky announcing the end of the Love Festival, but the duo didn't turn to watch them.
Maybe Gray couldn't change his feelings, but hers… hers were already changing.
Finally! It took me so long, but it is finally finished! I will let you decide whether you want to think they kissed or not in the end 8)
Truth to be told, I wasn't planning to make Erza kind of return Gray's feelings but… things turned out this way… and I liked it!
I hope you guys enjoyed it because I really did at writing it. I apologize again for the English mistakes :(
I'd love to know you opinion, so please leave a review. Thank you!