Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.

So I've been on the Steve/Bucky train ever since seeing TWS many, many months ago and I decided to actually write something for the pairing instead of lurking in the shadows like I normally do. This was supposed to just be a short, simple fic about these two idiots dancing and then it ballooned on me and ended up being longer than it had any right to be.

I blame these dumbass super-soldiers and the fact that I am a fucking sap.

Un-betad so any mistakes are my own.

There's a memory that Bucky's got.

It's an old one. Back before HYDRA got him and took everything away, back before the war even. When he and Steve had lived in their ratty little Brooklyn apartment, when their biggest care in the world had been making rent each week and having enough money to buy food.

It's early evening, the setting sun shining in through the windows in their apartment and he's standing in front of Steve with his hands on his hips.

They're not having a fight, not a real one anyway. Bucky's trying to teach Steve to dance and Steve is being pigheaded and stubborn about the whole thing. Bucky has naturally learned how to be just as stubborn right back.

" I'm not moving till you get your ass off that couch." He tells Steve, trying his best not to laugh as Steve glares mulishly up at him. It doesn't have the effect that he reckons Steve wants it too, warmth blooming through his chest at the pout Steve's lips are set into. He shoves that feeling away though, has been for years, and remains in his place.

" Why does it matter? It's not like I'm going to be dancing with a girl anytime soon." He rolls his eyes at Steve and leans down to grab at his arm. It's the same excuse Steve trots out each time, and Bucky has long stopped listening to it.

" It'll happen." Steve snorts at him and evades his hand. " And when it does I want to make sure that you're not about to crush some poor girl's toes." He gets a good grip around one of Steve's small wrists and firmly but gently tugs Steve off the couch. " I've got a reputation to maintain after all and we can't have you screwing that up."

He grins at Steve as he pulls them into the small space he cleared in the centre of the room, socked feet shuffling quietly across the wooden floorboards as he grabs Steve's other hand. Steve only huffs at him, though he wasn't as put out as he was pretending to be.

" This isn't going to work." Steve whines but he allows himself to be manhandled into place, Bucky only shakes his head and proceeds to show Steve some simple steps before teaching Steve how to move with another person.

A few hours and several stepped on toes later Bucky almost concedes that maybe Steve had a point, he wasn't awful by any means but he was definitely blessed with all the grace of someone with two left feet. Steve seems to realise this too as his shoulders, which had been semi-loose and relaxed at the beginning of this, were now tense as Steve keeps looking down at his feet, wincing whenever he steps on one of Bucky's.

" Stop looking down, that wont help." Steve only pulls a face at him as they move in a small circle and Bucky bites back a noise as Steve steps on his left foot again.

" This is pointless." Steve complains as he stops moving and drops Bucky's hands.

" You just need some more practice that's all." He ignores the glare he receives as Steve crosses his arms over his chest.

" Practice wont do squat." Steve sighs and his shoulders droop as he leans forwards to rest his forehead against Bucky's shoulder, his face pressing into Bucky's shirt. " I'm so bad at this."

Bucky frowns at the top of Steve's head, his fingers twitching with the urge to run through Steve's hair but he ignores it, brings his hand up to gently squeeze Steve's shoulder instead.

" You're not that bad." He ignores the noise of protest Steve makes at that. " You just need something slower I think." He could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he spoke and he was just glad that Steve had decided to rest his head on his right shoulder. He didn't need to explain to Steve why that made his heart beat faster than any of the dancing that they'd been doing.

Steve pulls away suddenly and for one awful minute Bucky thinks that Steve had heard, but Steve's face was still pulled into an expression of disappointment rather than shock.

" I don't think that's gonna help, look thanks for trying but-" Bucky pulls him back before he can walk away, one hand giving Steve's arm a small squeeze.

" C'mon just one more?" Smiling at Steve as he catches his eye. " If this ends badly then I'll accept that you can't be helped and leave it, but just one more try?" He brings his other hand up and rests it on Steve's shoulder, feeling more than hearing Steve take in a deep breath and letting it out.

" Alright fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Bucky only smiles wider as he steps up to Steve again, pulling Steve even closer against him. Steve balks slightly at that, an almost panicked look flitting across his face before he looks quizzically up at Bucky.

" You need to be close for slow-dancing, trust me." Steve only nods at him as he lets Bucky move him around. " See you put one hand on my shoulder." Moving Steve's hand as he spoke. " And the other holds mine like this." He held their clasped hands out to the side as he wrapped his own arm around Steve, his hand resting lightly on the small of Steve's back. " Then you just sway slowly and if you're feeling daring you move in a circle a bit." He starts moving them from side to side as he finishes speaking, ignoring the stiffness of Steve's body and as the minutes go by he feels Steve relax in his arms.

Steve rests his head against his shoulder as he leans more into Bucky's space, their feet slipping across the floor and Bucky feels confident enough to move them in a small circle. He can't help the smile that tugs at his mouth as Steve follows him easily enough, occasionally bumping his feet against Bucky's but there were no mishaps like there had been with the faster steps.

Bucky exhales and for a moment he shuts his eyes, imagining that this wasn't for the sake of teaching Steve to dance and the two of them were doing it just because. That Bucky could do his with him any time he wanted, spin him around the room and kiss him when they finished.

But he couldn't.

Steve wasn't into fellas, and it wasn't like Bucky spent all his time pining away after him anyway. He liked girls too. Just sometimes, every now and then, his chest aches with how much he loves Steve. How much he wants him in every way. But he's learnt how to push those feelings down, ignore them and focus on being Steve's best friend because he may not be Steve's, but he's with Steve all the same. Has him in his life, and that's more than what Bucky ever thought he would deserve.

He opens his eyes as their dance starts to fizzle out, shuffling a little bit as they come to a halt and before Steve gets suspicious of him holding on too long Bucky steps away and claps Steve on the shoulder.

" There you go that was fine." The expression on Steve's face is so open and warm that Bucky has to fight the urge to pull him back against his body, but he doesn't, he'd never let go if he did.

" I had a good teacher." Bucky only smiles at him before reaching out a hand and mussing up Steve's hair, earning a squawk of protest as Steve ducks away into the kitchen.

It's some 70 years later, and much to Bucky's amusement, Steve still isn't any better at dancing.

Which is all kinds of ridiculous really as Bucky has seen the guy ninja-flip over rooftops effortlessly. Or perform, quite frankly, stupidly complicated gymnastics while fighting people in a way that no one Steve's size should be able to manage, but as soon as he's shoved out onto a dance-floor Steve's as graceful as a newborn horse.

He'd have thought that the serum would have helped with his lack of grace, but as he watches Steve apologise once again to Ms. Potts for stepping on her feet, it's clear that this is not the case.

They're at one of Stark's fancy galas that the man apparently holds every year, trotting out the Avengers in order to garner some good will, what with all the local property damage they have a habit of causing. Bucky hadn't been officially invited, he had yet to join Steve's rag-tag team of adrenaline junkies, but Steve had asked him to go weeks before-hand and well, Bucky hadn't had it in him to say no.

So there he is, dressed up in a suit that probably costs more than his and Steve's old apartment as his eyes scan the room watching people dance, spotting Steve in the crowd with his ever-stumbling dance steps as he tries to follow suit with everyone else.

Bucky's actually impressed that Ms. Potts is sticking it out, certainly none of the girls Steve ever tried dancing with before did, but she clearly doesn't mind that Steve isn't all that good at dancing if her warm smile is anything to go by. Even if her feet have been trod on one too many times.

He smiles a little as he watches them among the throng of people whirling in front of him, his eyes tracking Steve more than he probably should be. But, that's habit by now and he doubts it's ever going to stop.

Bucky takes a swig of his drink and tears his eyes away, looking at the rest of the patrons as they, like him, loiter at the bar or in the case of Sam and Barton take advantage of the free buffet.

He turns his attention back to the dance-floor as the current song ends and nearly laughs as Steve lets go of Ms. Potts, who went to dance with Colonel Rhodes, only to be accosted by another finely dressed lady before he can escape.

Bucky almost considers wading through the crowd to rescue Steve but he's having too much fun watching as Steve's new dance partner realised exactly what she had gotten herself into. Besides despite all the toe-stepping and fumbling Steve looks like he's having fun and Bucky didn't want to ruin that.

Bucky finishes his drink and places his glass on the table behind him, walking off to the balcony doors to get some air and space from all the bodies in the room.

He comes to the glass doors and pushes one open, a relieved breath leaving him as he steps out into the cool night air. He runs a hand through his now-short hair (cropped back into something similar to what he had before the war, but different at the same time) as he steps up to the railing surrounding the balcony, leaning is forearms against the metal as he stares out at the city.

It had been just over a year and a half since he let Steve and Sam find him in a small town in France, a year and a half since he had begun piecing himself back together into some semblance of a person again. And, he feels better. Not whole, he's not sure he's ever going to be, not after what he's been through. But he's come a long way from where he was.

He still has bad days, still isn't all that good with crowded rooms filled with people he doesn't know(still sometimes sees targets instead of human beings) and has to step out for a break more times than he would like to admit. But, he's better.

Someone clears their throat behind him and Bucky jumps, head snapping round only to see Steve stood in front of the doors and despite his six-foot frame he somehow manages to look like his small self again.

" Hey Buck." Steve steps up to him and Bucky relaxes though he chides himself at the same time for not hearing the door open.

" Hey yourself, what're you out here for? I'm sure there are plenty of lovely ladies waiting to dance with you." Steve huffs a laugh at that as he leans against the railing next to Bucky.

" You mean waiting to get their toes stepped on." Steve's smile is wry as he glances at Bucky but his expression isn't filled with the same disappointment that it once was when it came to his dancing abilities, or lack-thereof.

" You've gotten better." Steve raises an eyebrow at him. " You have, you're only stepping on toes about fifty percent of the time now, instead of seventy." Steve just shakes his head as he knocks their shoulders together, he's smiling though, wide and happy like Bucky is the best thing in the world. And Bucky. Well, he doesn't quite know what to do with that.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, enjoying the cool breeze and the faint music coming from the other side of the door as they both stare out at New York. The view from where they are is pretty spectacular, Bucky has to admit, the perfect vantage point to see all the lights of the city twinkling in the dark.

The song winds down from inside, a slower one picking up straight after and Bucky can't help but notice how Steve goes slightly rigid, his jaw working as if he's chewing the inside of his mouth. Before he can ask Steve steps back and brushes his hands over his suit jacket once before holding out a hand towards him.

" Can I have this dance?" Steve's smile is smaller now and Bucky almost laughs him off, if not for the hint of doubt he can see shining in Steve's eyes, almost like he's nervous.

" What you need to step on my toes too?" But he moves towards Steve anyway, taking his offered hand and shuffling into Steve's space. He feels more than hears Steve's small laugh.

" Yup." There's a brief pause as they figure out who's going to lead, Bucky letting Steve take the reins as they settle their arms around one another and start to sway on the spot.

The music is faint on their side of the door, he can only just hear it really but it's enough to help them keep a rhythm as they move in a small circle.

Bucky lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, a warm feeling of contentment spreading through him as they dance. It's not as awkward as he might have thought it would be and while Steve is taller than him now it doesn't change how they move together, Steve even manages to not step on his toes at all. Bucky would make a comment about that but he doesn't want to spoil the mood, he doesn't get many opportunity's to get Steve in his arms like this so he'll keep it going for as long as he can.

It would be easy, so easy to lean his head forward and rest his chin against Steve's shoulder, but he keeps himself in place, doesn't want to risk anything that could have Steve move away from him. They amble along to the beat for several long minutes, their faces close together and as the music begins to fade they slow their dance to a halt too.

Bucky moves to step back and thank him for the dance, but he freezes at the expression on Steve's face. Steve's looking at him with such open affection that it takes everything he has not to look away. They seem to stare dumbly at one another for far too long and just as Bucky thinks about saying something to break the silence Steve ducks his head and slants his lips over Bucky's, one hand moving to cradle the back of his head.

It's quick, and over before Bucky can really process what's just happened, Steve only moving back far enough to break the kiss and Bucky frowns in confusion at him.

" What?" That is entirely the wrong thing to say as Steve's face drops and he pulls away from him, turning towards the door to no doubt run and hide. And Bucky knows what will happen if he lets Steve disappear, they'll never talk about it and it will remain an unspoken thing between them for years. (He's starting to wonder if it was an unspoken thing before). " No, wait." He grabs hold of one of Steve's arms and tugs him back to face him, Steve's expression is pained.

" I'm sorry." Steve isn't looking at him, his eyes are fixed to a spot on the floor and he looks like he would rather be anywhere else.

" I'm not mad." Bucky hopes that his tone was reassuring as he steps in closer, hopes that Steve understood that he hadn't done anything wrong. " You kissed me." It wasn't an accusation, just a fact.

"Yeah." Steve still wasn't looking at him.

" Why?" That got him a look, as if it should be blindingly obvious as to why Steve had kissed him. Bucky frowns again. " But you didn't, you never-" Bucky swallows and trails off, his grip on Steve's arm loosening a little and he feels almost hopelessly confused because... because he had always figured that his feelings were one-sided, that he loved Steve just that little bit too much but that was okay because Steve had loved him, not perhaps in the way that he had wanted but it was still love so it didn't matter. And Bucky had always thought that if Steve had felt the same he wouldn't have kept it a secret, he would have asked Bucky about it, would have told him. Because out of the two of them Steve was the brave one. Steve was the one who was willing to put himself on the line, risk his feelings for something he believed in. So the idea that Steve could have kept something like this hidden didn't make sense.

" I didn't think you felt the same." Steve's voice was soft and snapped Bucky's attention back to him. " And I thought that maybe I'd just confused what I'd felt for you, that it wasn't that kind of love, we were just around each other so much that I'd gotten it mixed up but... I knew deep down that wasn't true." Steve's eyes were shining at him now, a strange mix of hope and desperation that made Bucky grab Steve's arm more firmly.

" But, you liked, like girls." Bucky blurts.

" I do." Steve nods at him. " But I also like guys." Steve smiles then, small and private. "And there was one I'd always had my eye on but I didn't think it could ever happen, he was still my best friend anyway so it wasn't so bad. Then we got pulled off to war..."

" And you met Agent Carter."

" And that." One of Steve's hands grabs Bucky's right, his fingers loose as if Steve didn't want to keep him there if he didn't want to be.

" I'm sorry you never got to marry her." And the thing is Bucky really was. Sure he'd felt a stab of jealousy at first when he had seen how head over heels Steve had been for her but that had quickly faded because all Bucky had ever wanted was Steve to be happy, and he knew that Steve would have been with her. Agent Carter had been a hell of a lady, still was if what Steve told him about his visits to her were anything to go by, they would have been good together, had a tonne of kids, and Bucky would have been the best uncle in the world. (And Steve would have needed all the help he could get because as much as he loves the guy he's seen Steve with kids, he's fucking useless).

" Me too." Steve's smile is wistful. " But I'm glad she got to live her life and be happy. She keeps telling me to do the same actually, to go after what I want." Steve looks down briefly before he fixes his gaze back on Bucky. Bucky's fingers tighten around Steve's and some of the tension in Steve's shoulders loosens.

" You should listen to her." Bucky tells him, his heart hammering in his chest as Steve steps just a fraction closer.

" Good, because you know that guy? The one I loved for what feels like forever? I lost him a long time ago, never thought I'd see him again, but somehow we managed to find our way back to each other and I thought that maybe we'd been given a second chance, and-" Steve swallows but keeps his gaze fixed on him. " I made a promise to myself that this time I wouldn't let him slip through my fingers." Steve lifts a hand to brush his knuckles lightly across his jaw and Bucky stares at him, everything in his head screaming that this isn't how it goes. That he doesn't get to have this, doesn't deserve it. Never did.

" You really want this?" It's stupid but he can't stop himself from asking. " Me?" He adds, making it clear that this is what this whole thing is about and Steve just gives him the biggest, dopiest smile.

" If you'll have me." And Bucky ducks his head, smiling to himself before he looks at Steve again and brings his left hand up, metal fingers tracing the lapels of Steve's suit jacket as he invades more of Steve's personal space. Because hey, he's allowed.

" Someone's gotta look after your dumb mug." The smile he gets for that is blinding and before Steve can say anything else Bucky tugs his head towards him and kisses Steve. Properly this time, and how he's always wanted to.