A/N: Inspired by and written for NFA's My Slashy Valentine Challenge. This story is slash and contains adult language and sex.

Would like to thank everyone who has reviewed my previous stories. I may not reply to everyone but I appreciate all feedback, especially the constructive kind. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this story.

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked around the coffee shop, his eyes idly glossing over the Valentine's Day display of coffee mugs, bags of specialty coffees, pastries and candies. His nostrils flared almost imperceptibly to the casual onlooker. But to him, it was like his face twisted into a snarl. God, he hated Valentine's Day. It was another reminder in a long list of how he had failed…failed Shannon and Kelly, failed Rebecca, failed Diane, failed Stephanie and failed every relationship afterward. He remembered in stinging detail how pissy all three ex-wives would get if he had to work Valentine's Day and most of them he did have to work. He managed to remember once to send Stephanie flowers on that day but he still ended up having to work and she was pissy anyway, albeit, slightly less pissy about it than she would've been if he hadn't.

He reached the front of the line and ordered his coffee. As he waited, he wondered if he really was going to spend the rest of his life alone. He thought about the work he had done in his free time, cleaning out the attic, even going into Kelly's room to face the ghosts of his past. Shannon's and Kelly's old clothes were yellowed with age, not even usable. If Shannon were alive, she'd have probably scolded him for keeping them so long, so he had thrown them out, not without shedding a few tears doing it, but he had been alone at the time and no one knew it but him. God, he missed them, always would but still…it was time to move on, maybe even open his heart again.

He heard his name called and got his coffee. The thought of opening his heart again both excited and scared him. Excited him because he missed the quiet intimacy of marriage (the times no one was mad at each other) but scared because the one person he thought he could open his heart to was the one person in the entire world that would be the least bit interested in him…in that way anyway.

A vision of Tony DiNozzo sitting on his basement steps watching him sand, carve, measure or cut wood for his various projects floated in his mind's eye. He seemed so fascinated by it that he had started to ask questions about the tools, the wood itself, why Gibbs had chosen a particular design to carve and Gibbs offered to teach him. Tony had quietly taken him up on that, learned to sand, learned about different types of wood and what they were good for. About a week ago, Tony had helped him cut boards for a bookcase Gibbs was working on in his free time. Like with everything Tony put his mind to, he was a fast learner and if he worked at it, he would be as good at woodworking as he was everything else he did. Not for the first time, Gibbs wondered at his interest in it. Woodworking just didn't seem like something Tony would be interested in. He seemed more interested in pop culture given how many movies he watched; women definitely, given how many times over the years he'd whistled while he worked, an obvious tell that he got laid the night before. Try as he might, Gibbs couldn't really begrudge him that…not really…if he turned his head and squinted the right away. Weren't all men insatiably horny? He had three ex-wives that bespoke of that. In the last few years, his libido held less of a grip on him than it had when he was younger, and in the last year he just had given up on women at all but he still jerked off a lot. Come to think of it though, in the last year or so, Tony had whistled a whole lot less than he used to, maybe the one night stands weren't cutting it for him anymore. Not that Gibbs could talk. He'd had a few himself over the years. It took the edge off, made the world look a little less hellfire red some days, especially after a bad case, but would never be satisfying. The loneliness stung him again. He would rather have a steady relationship. With Tony. As if that would ever happen. Move on, Marine. Never going to happen.

Gibbs hardly remembered the drive to the Navy Yard as he was so engrossed in his thoughts and he cursed at himself. Driving on automatic pilot, even a short distance, was reckless. He was glad he made it with no one getting hurt because he was distracted. He really needed to stop thinking so much. He'd always been a thinker but the last six months or so, it'd been worse. Has to be the loneliness, he thought. Left him too much time. He knew he had to make some changes. If only Tony could see him as more than a mentor or a friend. But no, he talked about women. How many times over the years had he watched the man's eyes as they admired, leered and openly lusted at them? Not that Gibbs didn't. He could appreciate a beautiful woman as much as the next guy, and did, though he was more subtle than Tony about it, but he admired men too. They were quieter, usually, for starters. Hard bodies, hard strength, angles instead of curves. They could handle a little rough tumble or just plain rough and the freedom of that was intoxicating. Women required a gentler touch so he wouldn't hurt them. With men, he could let go in a way he couldn't with women and that was exciting and intense in a way being with women wasn't. After every divorce, he went out of town for the night to pick up a guy for a hookup, needing that rough physical and mental release where he didn't have to hold back. Since recognizing the pattern of his behavior and realized he was trying to replace Shannon, he had stopped seeking out women. Besides, the three exes had made it clear he had nothing to give them except a lot of time alone and heartbreak. If only he could find someone - man or woman - who could A) Make him forget about Tony and B) Understood the job and why he needed to do it and C) Wouldn't resent how much time he spent at work.

Except for that hellish time he got blown up and forgot everyone and had to relive Shannon and Kelly's deaths all over again, he didn't hold out much hope of A since he worked with him every day. B and C were even bleaker.