So folks, it's certainly been a while. Some stuff came up in real life, but things are settling again. Expect more regular updates. For anyone that's wondering, my portrayal of Bella Swan, in this Bella Dupree is my usual Olivia Thirlby, and Katherine is Amanda Seyfried. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I most certainly do not own either Twilight or The Avengers. If I did, Twilight would be a lot better, and The Avengers would likely have been a lot worse, because Joss is Boss! ;)

Be Careful What You Wish For

Adopted from Kactus Wrynn

Chapter Seven

Bella busied herself with making lunch for the Avengers, internally thanking anyone that was listening that Tony Stark hadn't shown up. Yet. What a menace he had been this morning! She had only told Ms. Potts a fraction of Tony's antics earlier that day. She had been about to pull her own hair out by the time he went to go make the microwave sentient. Or rather, she was ready to pull his hair out. Speaking of the Microwave, Bella was ready to dismantle the aggravating thing and sell her for parts. Apparently Tony had programmed her to keep an eye out on whatever she made, and immediately rejected anything Tony thought wouldn't taste good.

So you know, anything actually healthy.

"Honey, you know you ain't putting that in."

"Uh-uh, that shit tastes like cardboard!"

"Baby girl, you know you need more flavor than that!"

"You know I ain't letting you bring that crap out there."

"What are you gonna do about it, comment me to death?" Bella finally snapped back. "Ooh, I'm so scared."

"Wow, what a lovely shade of bitch you're wearing today." Microwave snarked back.

"Yeah, and I'm not above unplugging you either, so I'd cut it out with your peanut gallery commentary if I were you."

"Bitch I know you didn't just say what I thought you said!" Bella smiled and waved as she picked up her perfectly healthy, balanced, and frankly delicious meal and brought it out to the dining room.

The group was already gathered when Bella got to the dining room to put the food on the buffet table to keep the food fresh and warm. Tony surprisingly enough wasn't there. Perhaps he was down in his workshop still? She wondered if she had actually done something to offend the man without shame, and a brief flicker of worry fluttered through her. She shook it off and smiled apologetically at the group, mindful not to speak until she was spoken to, as per Pepper's instructions.

"You're late." The Avenger's handler Agent Coulson observed. Bella grimaced.

"Not that late." Steve objected, glancing at the clock that plainly said that Bella was almost twenty minutes late. Good egg, that one.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I had to deal with a little present Mr. Stark left me this morning." Bella explained apologetically. The tan brunette man Bella believed was named Clint snorted, already at the buffet table loading his plate.

"Enough said, that guy is a menace." The redheaded Agent Romanoff huffed and nodded.

"That's for sure." She said, idly leaning back in her chair.

"Are you alright Ms. Dupree? Stark's experiments can tend to be a little on the dangerous side sometimes." Steve asked, politely concerned. Bella shrugged.

"It was just a little mishap with the Microwave. She didn't approve of the food I was making." She told them. Clint laughed, Steve looked confused, and Dr. Banner sighed while the two other Agents remained impassive.

"He made the Microwave sentient?" Banner questioned tiredly. Bella nodded, and he sighed again. "I'll see what I can do Ms. Dupree. He has a habit of giving the appliances bad attitudes."

"Yeah, you should see what he did to the TV." Clint added, shoveling food into his mouth. "And for the record, the Microwave doesn't know what she's talking about. This is delicious."

"Barton, chew with your mouth closed for goodness sake." Natasha said exasperatedly, leaning over to smack her partner upside the head. Bella smiled at both the scene before her, and the compliment to her cooking skills.

"Thank you Agent Barton. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to get downstairs." She said, making for the door. Steve and Clint both smiled at her, while Coulson waved her off distractedly, checking his phone and muttering to himself. Bella smiled back and walked out the door, heading down to report to Elizabeth, determined to bust ass cleaning today to make up for being late so many times already. Elizabeth was very understanding, nodding knowledgeably when Bella gave Mr. Stark as her excuse.

"We've all been there at one point or another." She explained to Bella. "I imagine you'll be forced to deal with it a lot more than any of us though, as you're up in the penthouse every day." She smiled and gave Bella her list of chores for the afternoon. Bella smiled back thankfully and set out to her first task, determined to kick everything on the list out perfectly if it killed her.

Three hours later, Bella huffed tiredly and wiped her forehead. She stood in the doorway, looking at the positively sparkling office in front of her, shiny chrome flashing her reflection back at her flawlessly. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Katherine, telling her she finished everything on the list. With over an hour to spare, she thought happily. That ought to more than make up for her tardiness. Katherine texted her back, telling her that she was impressed, and she didn't have any more cleaning for her today, so she could just go spend some time down in the employee break room until it was time to go up and cook dinner. Bella grinned and went downstairs, comfortably setting herself up in a break room chair. She perused a couple of magazines, looking at this season's fashions with a snort. Honestly, clothes were getting skimpier by the year. She was interrupted a couple of times by random employees that recognized her as the one who brought snacks, but all in all it was rather peaceful.

That was, until Tony showed up.

The walking catastrophe swept into the employee break room like it was nothing. His coffee brown eyes rapidly swept the break room before fixing right on Bella. He made a beeline for her, and immediately grabbed her and attempted to tow her from the room.

"Can I help you Mr. Stark?" Bella asked, secretly amused by her employer's antics.

"I'm hungry Bella, feed me." He whined, and Bella bit her lip to hide a smile. She quirked an eyebrow.

"Didn't you have lunch?" She queried. Tony shook his head.

"Nope." He said, popping his lips on the 'p'. "Hawkass ate it all before I got up." Bella sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm assuming you mean Agent Barton?" She asked, already allowing herself to be helped up and steered out the door.

"Yep." Tony said carelessly, towing Bella towards the elevator like a happy little tugboat. "He was singing your praises when I resurfaced. He also threatened to stick an arrow up my ass if I made you quit somehow." He eyed Bella. "He apparently really likes your cooking."

"Well, I'm glad." Bella said. "It's always nice to feel appreciated." Tony snorted.

"They do appreciate it, trust me." He said. "Now me on the other hand. They live in my tower, they want me to make them all special toys, and they eat the food I pay for, and the most I get is a shut it Stark." He complained.

"You poor depraved thing." Bella quipped dryly, and Tony picked up, pointedly ignoring her sarcasm.

"Precisely, that's what I keep telling them!" He exclaimed. They arrived back up at the penthouse, and Tony steered her into the kitchen. "Now make me something to eat!" Bella rolled her eyes, and glanced at her watch.

"I might as well start dinner now. Were you in the workshop all day?" She asked, getting the ingredients out to make chicken parmesan.

"Yep." Was Tony's careless answer, fiddling with the Stark Industries Tablet in his hands. "Was working on an upgrade for the scary spider lady."

"Agent Romanoff?" Bella queried, hands busy. Tony nodded, slightly more sedate now that Bella was working on actually feeding him.

"Yeah, I was working on it all through last night after we got back, and skipped lunch to get it done." He said absently, intent on the tablet. Bella stopped short.

"Wait, you're telling me you fought a battle, stayed up all night working in your workshop working on something, and then proceeded to keep going with no sleep and only one meal with a cup of that sludge you call coffee?" Bella asked incredulously, slightly worried about the man before her now.

"Oh, that's nothing." Tony informed her. "I used to go days running on coffee alone. I only came up today because Agent Agent threatened to bench me if I went more than 24 hours without food again." He noticed Bella had stopped cooking, and made a face.

"Mr. Stark, that's incredibly unhealthy!" Bella protested, resuming her work.

"Didn't I tell you to call me Tony?" Tony demanded, a little defensive now. Bella pursed her lips and looked down at her work. An idea occurred to her, and she looked at her boss again.

"How about this, I'll call you Tony for every day that you eat at least 2 full meals and get 5 hours minimum of sleep." She proposed. Tony hesitated, as if carefully weighing what would have been an easy deal for anyone else.

"Alright." Tony agreed, extending a hand. "It's a deal."

"I'll know if you're lying." Bella warned, wiping off her hands before taking hold of his rough one. Tony laughed.

"Oh, you can believe me Bella Dupree." He told her. Bella nodded, believing him.

It was two weeks later that Ms. Potts came to Bella about the deal she made with Tony. She met Bella as usual in the lobby, and spoke more casually than Bella was used to from her as they rode up the elevator.

"So, I hear you made a deal with Mr. Stark to get him to sleep and eat more." She said, glancing at Bella from the corner of her eye. Bella gulped, wondering if she was about to be chewed out for improper conduct or something.

"Yes ma'am." She said, nervously fidgeting. Ms. Potts straightened, even more rigid than usual, and smiled.

"Good. Thank you Ms. Dupree, that will be all." She said waving Bella out of the elevator and into the kitchen.