"Cosplay Confusion"

(The Real Joker and Harley decide to attend a special comic convention. Lo and behold they get separated. What happens when Joker takes the wrong Harley home? Vice versa. )

...

Harley pounced into the office where Joker was working on something. "Um Mister J, I was just wondering if..."

"For the love of God Harley no means no! We are not going to some stupid lame ass comic convention." He watched as Harley walked away pouting.

"Okay..." She pouted. It wasn't fair! She never got to do anything she wanted. It was always about chasing the Bat or robbing another bank. For once she wanted a vacation and she was going to do everything possible to ensure it happened. She skipped off to the bedroom and slammed the bathroom door shut. She needed to relax.

"Harley!" Joker pounded on the door. "Get the hell out of that shower now and quit pouting. Daddy needs to shower eventually and you have been in there 45 minutes!" He was frustrated. "Don't make me beat the door down. Get out now!"

Harley opened the door. "Sorry Mister J. You know I like to clean up and shave and make myself nice and smooth for you." She flashed her soft leg in front of his face.

He pushed her aside. "When will you learn woman? I don't give a fuck about your smooth legs or whatever you call it. Seducing me won't get you to that convention."

"Oh pudding..."

"What!" He was frustrated. He turned to see her holding his handgun. His heart began to race. Damnit, he thought. He threw his hands in the air as she pointed the gun at him. "Harley... Now now I'm sure there's something we can work out about this. No need to get violent on me sweetie."

"I was going to say I would kill for it in order to get you to take me. Gosh Mister J I can't believe you thought I was going to shoot you." She giggled then began squirting him with water as it was a water gun. He grabbed the gun from her and slammed the bathroom door in her face. "You're no fun!" She pouted.

"Go to bed Harley!" He shouted through the closed door. He was frustrated.

"I'm sorry puddin' I won't ask again." She crawled in bed. "I just thought it might be fun..." She yawned then closed her eyes.

Joker took his shower then peeked out the door. He seen his Harley sleeping. "I hope I didn't upset the girl to much but she has to learn what's best. Daddy don't want to go out unless it's a real party..." He stood there thinking then went to his office to work and think. He found one of the many flyers Harley had hidden in his desk and grinned. "It is almost Valentines Day and it would shut her up...Hmm." He began to get an idea.

...

1 week later.

February 12

Harley skipped through the hideout with a smile on her face. She was wearing her favorite red jeans and white tank top. Her hair was in the usual pig tails. She sat down on the couch and sucked on a heart shaped red sucker with her feet kicked up in the air relaxing. She hummed a tune as it replayed in her mind.

"Harley!" She jumped at the sound of his voice screaming her name.

"Coming Mister J..." She rushed to his office. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all doll, daddy has been doing some thinking."

"What about?" She continued to lick on her sucker. He watched her tongue and the way it was enjoying that sucker. It was beginning to have an effect on him, causing him to become aroused.

"Daddy got you an early present." He pulled an envelope from his desk and handed it to her. He sat back in his chair waiting for her reaction. "Well?"

She carefully tore into the envelope and squealed when she pulled out two VIP passes to the comic convention this weekend. "Mister J! Oh God, but I thought you said?"

"Tsk tsk tsk Harley girl. Daddy thought it over and after all I wouldn't want my girl to miss the chance to meet her favorite celebrity now would I?" She jumped into his lap and threw her arms around him.

"Oh thank you thank you so much Mister J I promise I'll make it up to you..."

"You better... Now daddy has an idea for his little henchgirl." He grinned and took the sucker from her hand and licked it. She could feel his erection growing through his pinstriped purple pants.

"Anything for you daddy." She grinned and slipped down working her magic.

...

Saturday February 15 / Day 2 of this big convention...

Harley woke up early and slipped on her costume. She was wearing her usual red and black harlequin jester costume. Joker smiled as he watched her get all dolled up. "I can't believe I'm actually meeting the one and only Michael Rae. He is my favorite Mister J."

"I know doll. Now hurry up so we aren't late."

Harley quickly finished applying her make up and grabbed her bag ready to go. "Okay I'm ready to go now."

"About time." He pushed her out to the car and drove to the convention center. He started seeing people walking the streets wearing costumes of all types. "Harley you didn't tell me about the costumes everyone else would be wearing."

"But mister J look at it this way, we get to be ourselves while fitting in with a bunch of nerds." She giggled.

"Harley only you would throw out a good joke like that." He parked the car and they walked inside. He showed them their badges and entered the room. He started seeing cameras flashing. "Oh what the hell?"

"Hey Mister J look we are famous!" She pointed to a poster set up at a booth. It was of them and Batsy. He had them in cuffs and was taking them to Arkham.

"Interesting." Joker felt something pull at his pant leg. He looked down to see a little boy about 6 years of age.

"Excuse me sir can I take a picture with you? Your Joker costume is cool."

"Sure kid but it isn't a costume. I am the Joker." He put his arm around him and smiled.

"Thanks a lot!" The kid rushed off.

"That was sweet of you mister J..."

"Harley I don't like pictures. You... I don't know why I let you drag me to this thing."

Harley patted him on the back. "Come on it's going to be a fun day!" She smiled and began to look around. She handed a picture to him. "Look at this piece of art." It was of him holding Batmans head.

"Very nice Harls." He felt another tap on his shoulder and turned to see Batman standing behind them. "Harley! What the hell is he doing here?"

"Don't be silly J, it's just a cosplayer and he probably just wants a picture with us."

"Oh right...Smile Batsy." He grinned as the person took their picture and then walked on. He seen the smile on Harley's face and couldn't help but think he had done something good for a change. He started to relax until he heardHarley scream.

"Oh my god! Mister J it's him!" She took off running towards a table where a man sat. He followed slowly and observed her talking to this celebrity and getting his autograph. She finished and handed him the picture. "Oh that was exciting I'm so happy. Thank you so much for bringing me here."

"You're welcome Harley baby. Now if you'll excuse me for a few I have to hit the bathroom and grab a drink." He turned around and she was gone again. "Okay whatever..." He returned to the exhibit hall after about an hour and searched for Harley. He bumped into a person wearing red and black and looked at them as they turned around.

"What do you want Joker?" His smile quickly disappeared upon realization it was a male dressed in costume as his Harley.

"Ewe... Creepy." He turned and went the other direction still searching for Harley. It was nearing six and the show closed in an hour. He finally seen her and grabbed her arm. "Come on Harley lets go back to the motel." She nodded and followed him. They got in the car and he drove them to the motel.

"This is a very nice car Mister J."

"Of course it is Harley. You say that every time." She sat back and relaxed waiting to be at their destination.

...

7pm

The announcer had just stated the show was now closed for the day. Harley walked around. "J? Where are you?" She seen a guy standing outside smoking. "Um hi Joker guy. Have you seen my Mister J?" She knew he was a cosplayer but she had to know.

"I'll be your Mister J baby." He touched her shoulder. Harley picked up her mallet and smacked him.

"No one calls me baby but my Joker and you are NOT him you creep!" She walked away continuing to search for her Joker. She went to where they parked and noticed his car was gone. "I can't believe he just left me here! What a jerk." She began to walk.

...

Inside the motel room.

"Daddy is going to take a shower. Take off your make up, change, and get ready for bed. You still owe me that present!" He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door leaving her alone in the room.

The girl began to look around. She kept thinking to herself it was all a joke but she knew now this was serious. She figured she had been set up but when she seen the man actually took her to his motel room she became a bit frightened. She sat on the edge of the bed thinking about what she would do. She had a few drinks but now wished she hadn't. She seen him walk out wearing only the towel. Her cheeks flushed as she seen he was built rather nice. "How come your body paint didn't come off?"

"Don't be silly Harley and I thought I told you to take off your make up and change. You know what happens when you disobey daddy." She rushed over to the drawer and grabbed a red silk gown and went into the bathroom to change.

"Mister J?" She stepped out of the gown wearing the other Harley's gown. She kept thinking how weird this was and how this couple must be so obsessed with the characters that they have made their life all about them. They even keep themselves dressed in the colors and body painted permanently.

"What is it Harley?" He was flipping through the channels as she stepped out of the bathroom. He seen her hair was brown and curly. "Is that what you were doing when you ran off? I think your hair looks nice dark doll. Now come over here and give daddy a kiss."

She was hesitant but sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted to speak but couldn't find the words to say.

"Harley I said get over here now!" She felt tears and her heart raced. She scooted closer to him.

"Is this better?"

"Harley what's the matter? Are you still upset because I wouldn't let you kidnap that guy?" She nodded. "You silly girl come here." He pulled her beside him and kissed her forehead. "Relax I'm not going to punish you." He was about to steal a kiss when there was pounding on the door. He jumped up and opened it. The woman outside was also dressed like Harley. "Harley?" She slapped him then rushed inside.

"How dare you!" She picked up her mallet and pointed at the woman in their bed. "You're an imposter!"

"Look this is all a mistake.. I'm sorry I meant no harm. I thought it was a joke." The woman threw her hands up and stood beside the bed.

"Get out now before I pound you!" She was about to run out when Harley stopped her. "Wait! Hold it. You give me my clothes back woman!" The girl rushed and put her costume back on and then Harley looked at J.

"Now now Harley I didn't know it wasn't you..."

"You asshole! I should pound you for this as well. Did she touch you? Did you kiss her? I'm going to kill her if so."

The woman had tears in her eyes. "You two are nuts. Has anyone every told you that?" She realized it was the wrong thing to say as Harley dropped her Mallet and Joker pulled out a gun.

"What did you call us...that's what I thought." The shot rattled the walls and then he looked at the real Harley. "Daddy didn't mean anything of it pooh bear. Honest mistake. Now come here..." He pulled her close and kissed her.

"Mister J what will we do with the body?"

"Leave it. She deserved it."

"Oh I love you..." She jumped in his arms. He kissed her and held her close.

"I enjoy this too pumpkin but tomorrow we need to go back home. The babies, Bud and Lou are probably thinking we abandoned them." He grinned.

"You're the greatest Mister J!"

"Now about that little favor you still owe me Harley dear..." He grinned as she licked her lips. Oh this was going to be an interesting night.

(end.)