And the Rain Rained upon them(The End)

back before the whole death party thing

After the teleportation failure and the fangirls' escape from being sent back to their universe, China agreed to let them stay.

"I'm warning you though one toe out of line, and I will send you back to your world, dead or alive!"

The fangirls nodded their heads, pledging to be good little angels from then until the end of time.

"Wow! That was a close one!" Avis sighed, pumping her fist as soon as the fangirls were alone.

"Yeah, I'm still shaking!"

"What do we do now?" Avis asked, apprehensively.

"I guess we go home and wait until we get a new job!"

"Yes! Summer take 2!" The fangirls walked back to their humble abode, waving at the confused faces of everyone they passed. Needless to say, their onesies were significantly dirtier than they were when they started their mission.

"What would you say to a relaxing swim in the pool?" Alex asked, once they had gotten home.

"Mh, sounds great!" The fangirls headed down to the pool, excited to relax for once. Relax...

Avis threw off her cover up and skipped towards the pool.

"Avis! No running on the pool deck!"

"Shut up Alex!" Avis cannonballed into the pool, splashing Alex in the process.

"You'll pay for that!" Alex growled as Avis emerged from the pool.

Out of nowhere, Avis screamed.

"What, scared?" Alex laughed, "You should be!"

Avis scrambled out of the pool as quickly as she could.

"No. Alex, look!"

She pointed to the corner of the pool, where something beige was surrounded in a small area of red water.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"I think so!" The fangirls carefully tip toed over to the corner of the pool.

"Oh jeesums!" Alex gasped. Sitting in the corner of the pool was a disembodied foot. Probably a guy's foot, size eight, would have looked great in timberlands.

"I think we may have put more than just a toe out of line," Avis sighed.

"So let me get this straight (hah)," Dexter asked, "You guys came down to the pool, Avis jumped into the water, you saw the foot, and you called us?"

"Yep!" Alex confirmed.

"I'm gonna grab the foot," Skulduggery stated, "I can't leave any fingerprints so it's safe."

Skulduggery walked over to the foot, took off one of his gloves, and grabbed it. Bringing it closer, Skulduggery began to examine the foot.

"I think we may have to bring this to China," he said, withdrawing a small folded piece of paper from between two of the foot's toes.

"Now that's what I call toe-PAPER-jam!" Saracen laughed. Dexter facepalmed.

"That's not even a good joke!"

Later on, after the group had reported the foot to China and told her the whole story, they began to worry even more. This might be more serious than anyone could have imagined.

"Thank you for bringing this to me," China said, "Though honestly, you didn't have to include the puns in your briefing."

"So, what's the plan your MAGE-esty?" Alex smirked..

China gave her a look that would have turned lava to stone much quicker than the actual process takes place.

"The plan is to read the note."

The entire room looked up, hanging on her every action as she delicately unfolded the paper.

"Yo," China began, her elegant tone contrasting heavily with the stupid slang the letter used, "We are ATFRUT. Well, not really we, we're not the paper, but we ATFRUT are the ones writing. We heard that China tried to kick you out just because you broke a dumb necklace. If this is the case, we wanted to offer you a job, so you could get back at her. You know if you wanted. We think it would be great, because otherwise you will be killed. If you want to live, give us a sign that you're on our side, and we'll meet you on the secluded bench in Magnolia park. You know whenever works for you! Bye. Love, ATFRUT."

"'Love'?" Alex questioned.

"'Yo'?" Avis asked.

"'Whenever works'?" Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

"'Give us a sign'..." Skulduggery murmured.

"Do you have a plan, Skulduggery?" asked China.

"Yes. If it works, we may just get two double agents out it."

"So... You want us to pretend to kill literally everyone?" Alex rolled her eyes, confused about the whole plan thing.

"Yes, but you two also have to pretend to die in the process. That way, ATFRUT will think you're actually capable of being a function criminal. Also, they'll think that we think that you're dead," Skulduggery explained for the hundredth time.

"And you guys will only be pretending to die too?"

"Obviously. Look, stop asking questions. Nothing will go wrong… All you have to do is throw a party, and act out a script."

A few days later, the party was thrown. The fangirls could only hope that everything would go according to plan.

"Why did you make me come to this?" Skulduggery asked, his acting on point.

"Because they're funny." Valkyrie responded.

"There's a difference between laughing at them and laughing with them."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery finished their lines, and surveyed the room. Things were going well so far.

"So you two work with Avis and Alex?" Ebony asked, winking at Bearah and Sarah, revelling in the fact that this was all fake. She was always one for a good murder mystery.

"Yeah, I'm a doctor!" Sarah smiled.

"And I work for China!" Bearah responded, bored. They had acted this out so many times already.

"Cool! Also, what's that cow doing here?"

They all knew what that cow was doing there.

"Scapegrace, hurry up, and let me in!" Clarabelle complained from behind, Scapegrace who was taking up the entire doorway. She was very excited to have a part in the grand plan.

"Sorry, what did you say? Give me a second I want to make sure there's food before I waste my evening at a party."

"Please, you're just trying to avoid being seen by Skulduggery and Valkyrie.

"Too late." Thrasher says, as Skulduggery turns to look at them right on cue.

Dexter and Saracen were simply snogging in the corner. And no, that was not part of the plan.

Everything was going smoothly. Alex and Avis called Sarah and Bearah into the hallway. With ease, the fangirls started a stupid conversation, and began the group hug. As the four girls embraced each other, Avis and Alex stabbed their bendy knives into Bearah and Sarah's hidden blood bags. They popped with a sickening noise.

Two down, probably about seven to go.

After Valkyrie finished up her ear shattering solo, Avis made her way towards her. Remembering the tips and tricks from her acting class in high school, Avis began a creepy conversation about whether Valkyrie had eaten or not. When Alex heard her cue, she smashed a water balloon filled with fake blood onto Valkyrie and ran away. Or should it be called a blood balloon instead?

Either way, Valkyrie's fake death performance was to die for.

Scapegrace and Clarabelle were having a lovely evening. They got free food, free music, and free fun. All they had to do was fall on the floor and pretend to be dead for an hour. No problem, as Clarabelle already did that every Saturday morning.

Avis was all set for her death. In fact, she was looking forward to it.

When Dexter entered the room, she lunged for the window and grabbed the sill. As Dexter jabbed a fake punch, Avis let go of the sill and jumped to the ground. The impact wasn't horrible, though there might be a few bruises. All those hours of practice had paid off. Then she yelped dramatically, and collapsed "dead" in a pool of fake blood.

Skulduggery had definitely landed the worst role. Not only did he have to pretend to be sad over Valkyrie's death, but his only important job was shooting at Alex and missing. At which point, she would put some fake blood on herself and wait for a moment before running away like a person who usually runs away from situations.

"Fake bloody American fangirls," Skulduggery hissed.

"Man, that was fun!" Avis sighed, as she and Alex walked towards Magnolia Park, where they planned to meet ATFRUT and become double agents.

"Yeah, it was kind of hard though," Alex complained, stretching out her sore legs.

"This whole thing was hard."

"What do you mean?" asked Alex.

"Just coming here. To another dimension. Meeting all of our favorite characters was awesome, obviously, but this whole adventure was really taxing!" Avis rubbed her neck uncomfortably, blue hair getting even more messed up.

"I agree," Alex said quietly, then fell silent. "Do you want to… go back?"

"No way!" Avis spluttered. "We have an awesome job to do! I love it here!"

They paused, Alex waiting for her best friend to continue talking.

"Well… Maybe if something important came along. Our families. Or a scholarship."

"It would have to be something life-changing though," Alex responded. "Something really, really, really important."

"I completely agree," Avis affirmed. "Something huge."

"Gigantic."

"Mind-blowing."

"Substantial."

They traded synonyms, and then suddenly, Avis' phone binged.

The fangirls stopped walking. They stared at the blue-haired girl's pocket.

Avis pulled out her phone, which had been silent for so long.

She clicked it on, and started at the screen.

Silence…

Avis gasped.

"Oh! My Amazon package arrived! I totally forgot!" she cheered.

"The limited-edition Harry Potter poster set? Featuring designs by the original artist? Signed by Rowling herself?" Alex was jumping up and down, clapping.

"Obviously!"

The fangirls shared a glance, grinned, and turned around. They began running back to Gordon's mansion, back to the window where they had started this whole adventure.

"Think we can make it back to our universe by tonight?" Avis asked, eyes wide, cheeks pink.
"Why not?" joked Alex in response. "We've come this far!"

One teleportation window, three narrow escapes from law-enforcement, two airplane flights, and a box of jelly-filled donuts later, Avis and Alex stood on the doorstep of their mortal home.

The air was warm, clinging, heavy. Drops of water began to fall, somehow different from the weather in the Skulduggery Pleasant dimension.

The fangirls stood there, smiling.

And the rain rained upon them.

Them being the Amazon packages.

Closure.

Cleansure.

Thanks for reading, as always.

Telemancer