UPDATED: 1/6/2017

Yo, what's up guys? I'm a new author just trying out writing and stuff. So, before we start, I'm just gonna clear a few things up:

1) Ash = super overpowered, arrogant, snark-filled magnificent bastard. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but he's not the standard run-of-the-mill Ash Ketchum. Dawn is sweet, yes, but it's hard for the sweetness to come out in Ash's presence.

2) There will be copious amounts of cursing.

3) Gen VII pokemon and concepts will all be incorporated (so yes Z-Moves and Mega Evolutions), while conventional battling/game mechanics will be simultaneously respected and thrown out of the window.

4) Though set in Sinnoh, characters and pokemon from other regions (from the games and anime) will be shamelessly incorporated into the story.

5) Just on the note of characters in general, many of them will contain OOC aspects. I completely understand that not everyone will enjoy my characterizations and that is fine, but I want to make the presence of OOCness perfectly clear.

This is not a story meant to be taken super seriously. I wanted to have a story that is enjoyable to write and enjoyable to read.

At the start Ash'll have around ten pokemon, and you'll see who they are. I'm not sure if he should have a harem, so I'll see what you guys think.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.

In which Ash is the snarky, extremely overpowered Kanto Champion fleeing from his duties and Dawn is the sweet, idealistic girl with tsundere tendencies. From Ash's pitiful attempts at gathering a harem to saving the Pokemon world from evil organizations, follow their travels through Sinnoh and beyond. Warning: AU, Cursing, OOCness. Other characters will come. Possible Harem.

ARC I: Awkward Beginnings, But That's Okay

Not Very Effective

The Beginning

"There you have it, folks! Our mysterious challenger just demolished all four members of the Elite Four using just a Pikachu! A Pikachu!"

Lance's palms were sweating. He'd never been this nervous for a battle ever in his life, even when he squared off against Cynthia in the Master's tournament a while back. But after watching a teenager who didn't even look old enough to drive yet smash through Kanto's Elite Four with a Pikachu seemingly on roids, Lance was willing to admit that he was about to be in for the fight of his life.

He stepped into the battlezone. Craters littered the floor and the remnants of a beautiful struggle was spilled out right before him. Lance saw that kid's Pikachu thunderbolt to death so many pokemon in one blast that he was seriously doubting why he himself had a team full of flying types. At least Dragonite's dragon-typing nullified electric type attacks, so it wasn't super effective. And he had three of those things, so if worse comes to worse Lance would spam the dragons.

But Lance was the champion of Kanto. He heard the screams in the air, the massive cheering, and the absolute devotion of his fans. They knew he would win. He would win.

"Go, Dragonite!"

His beast appeared in a brilliant flash of white light, roaring like the dragon it was. It flapped its beautiful, broad wings and took to the sky, shaking the ground with its earth-shattering cry. The crowd cheered. Lance felt hope surge within him. This Dragonite was his pride, his joy. He'd spent years raising his dragons to absolute perfection; every inch of it was pure, veiny muscle, with years of experience told by scars on marred skin—

There was a flash of lightning, and a crack of thunder. Lance was blinded. The air around his was ringing like bells, and a wave of concussive force hit his body.

"—absolutely amazing! Incredible! What a shot! What a bolt! Lance's Dragonite—"

"Haaah?" Lance slurred, standing up. He subconsciously wiped dirt off of his cape. When did he fall down? Was something cooking? Something definitely smelled like it was cooking—

…

…

His eyes focused in on the sizzling body of his most powerful (and unconscious) pokemon.

…

…

Lance felt a tear roll down his face.

Dawn rode her bicycle from Professor Rowan's lab. A new, shiny pokeball hung from her belt, containing her new best friend Piplup. Finally, after fifteen years of being alive, Dawn would finally be able to find her place in the world of pokemon.

The sun was radiant in the cloudless sky. It was a welcome change in the usually frigid temperatures of a Sinnoh fall. The Staravia were chirping their melodies, and Dawn hummed along contentedly. The route between Jubilife and Sandgem town was foresty and devoid of human life save for a few newbie trainers like herself, so it was very relaxing for her. With the wind in her hair and a bright path ahead of her, Dawn could finally—

"WATCH OUT!"

Something huge crashed into her bicycle and the world spun like a top, sending Dawn sprawling into a conveniently-placed patch of soft grass. She was up immediately, ignoring how the ground spinned underneath her, and instead Dawn focused on the carnage in front of her, saying the only logical thing one would say in this situation: "What the fuck?!"

Dawn saw three things: one, her precious, expensive bicycle smashed to bits, two, a trainer and his Charizard sheepishly looking at her, and three, her fucking precious and expensive bicycle smashed to bits.

"Sorry?" the boy offered, fiddling with his league hat. "'bout the bike I mean. And you know, smashing it. My bad."

Dawn blinked at him, completely at a loss of words. His Charizard bit one of its wheels and crunched the metal to bits like it was cheese before spitting it out in disgust.

"Pay," she muttered under her breath.

The boy stared at her. "What?" He hopped off the back of his pokemon and stopped when he was a few feet in front of her. "Sorry, didn't hear that."

Dawn said it louder this time. "Pay."

She saw a bead of sweat slide down the side of his face. "How much?"

"42,000 poke bucks."

He tried to bolt. Dawn caught him by the collar and effortlessly threw him to the ground. The trainer released a cute, half-squeal half-grunt sound and attempted to roll away, but Dawn simply sat on him and locked him in place with her knees.

"Pay up," was all she said.

He glared defiantly into her eyes, eyes blazing red, and retorted, "I don't have any money."

"Then find some way to pay."

The boy blinked at her and lowered his eyes, the color of his face slowly turning into the shade of his pokemon's skin (said pokemon merely watched, amused by his master's predicament). "Okay," he whispered, almost submissively, and then he stared softly into her eyes. "Please be gentle."

"What?" Dawn growled, tightening the space between her knees and grabbing his shirt with her hands.

He grinned, a sly, almost predatory curve of his lips. "You want me to pay you, right? I'll pay you using my body." He paused for a moment to relish Dawn's astonished expression. "Please be gentle."

Dawn immediately realized the innuendo and jumped off of him, pointing an accusing finger at the boy. "Wh-Wh-Whaaat?!"

"Now, now," he stood up leisurely, brushing the grass off of his cargo pants, "is it really that bad of an idea?"

That comment caught her off guard and that predatory grin reappeared. Dawn felt trapped, as if she were prey and he was a hunter, and she was completely fooled by his earlier act of being submissive. "You wanted me to pay you back, right? I don't have cash on me now, but if you'd be so kind as to let me accompany you to the nearest city, I can make a withdrawal from the bank. Then we'll part ways. How does that sound?"

Dawn was hesitant. Jubilife was a fairly long journey without traveling by bike, and his Charizard, as massive and powerful as it looked, didn't look like it could comfortably fit both him and Dawn.

Plus, she only had an untrained Piplup and he had five pokeballs on his belt and one chained around his neck. If the other pokemon he had were as strong as his Charizard looked, she would actually be traveling with a capable trainer. Dawn decided to take his offer, but there was no way that she was going to admit that to him in a straightforward manner.

"I don't know anything about you," she huffed. "Why should I trust you?"

"True, you don't," he admitted. "And if I were you I definitely wouldn't trust me. Hell, I could be some sort of kidnapper or gang member."

"You're not being reassuring," Dawn cut in. The Charizard next to them growled.

"Fine," the trainer said, squaring his shoulders. "I'll be honest. I'm new to this region. Judging by all the snow I saw on my way over, I'd say that I'm in Sinnoh, and I need a native."

He looked her up and Dawn before focusing on the solo pokeball on her belt. "You look like a newbie and you're probably in need of someone to teach you. So why don't we help each other out, at least until I can pay you back for the bike?"

"Maybe," the girl conceded, "but only on two conditions."

"Name 'em."

Dawn smiled at him. "One, promise me that you'll stay with me until you get me that bike."

"Done," he said without a second thought.

"Two, you tell me your name."

"My name?" He returned her smile, scarlet eyes meeting her sapphire ones. "My name's Ash Ketchum. And I'm a Pokemon Master."

And that's a wrap! Tell me if you guys liked it or not, and be sure to favorite and follow. Future chapters will be longer than this, I promise.

Thanks!