Thanks for the reviews, guys! I hope everyone enjoyed this little diversion. I imagine all will change tonight as I'm putting money on tattoo reveal for this little camping trip. Anyhow, I hope you like this final chapter. I would love to know thoughts on this or the overall story. Not entirely sure when I will next be writing again but I may have a Fostering Fun update in the near future.
"At least we haven't taken his cell off him yet. I'll call him and tell him to get his butt home." Stef scurried down the stairs, already dialling.
"I'll go and check he's not still on the street." Lena added as she moved to grab her coat.
"Jesus!" Stef gasped out holding her hand out to halt Lena's movement. "Where are you?"
"I'm in the kitchen..." he replied, stepping through the doorway, a confused look on his face as both his moms spun round and Stef slammed the phone off.
"When did you even come downstairs?" Lena asked, bemused at how they had jumped so quickly to conclusions.
"A few minutes ago..." He paused, catching on his next words but gulping down his fear to say them. I wanted to talk to you about something."
Stef and Lena looked at each other nervously before Lena extended her arm back out towards the living room.
"Come on, let's sit."
"Can we go outside?" he asked cautiously. "I just really need some air."
His moms nodded, Stef dipping her head as she placed her hands on his shoulders and guided him out. As they walked, he went through it in his mind again. He couldn't ignore the fact that Emma's words were ringing louder than Hayley's. He knew which one of them was right and which was wrong, he knew it in his gut. Hayley had never said not to tell his parents but he knew that his relationship with her had caused him to pull away from them. He already knew deep down that his weakness for Hayley was the same weakness he had for Ana, but this wasn't just about realising he didn't always have to take care of everyone, but that he also had people who took care of him. Emma had reminded him of that. As mad as they may be that he lied, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as if he kept lying...and it's not like they could be any more mad than they already were tonight. It was the best opportunity he would have.
They settled on the porch and waited patiently as Jesus looked down at the deck. They weren't going to rush him, as twitchy as Stef's hands were getting.
"Uhm -" He finally broke his silence, still unsure of how to launch into this. "I'm sorry for...well. All this. I knew I shouldn't have done it at the time and I knew you'd be mad. I know I have to face that." He admitted. "...but you still could be nicer to Hayley..." He grumbled, not content with disowning all blame for the fights they had had throughout the night. Stef sucked back her response into a lump in her throat gaining an approving smile glancing sideways at her. Jesus broke his gaze on the floor to take another brief look before looking back to his fingers.
"We appreciate that, but you know that you are still going to be grounded?" Lena said calmly, rewarding his co-operation even her words didn't.
"Mmhmm." He replied reluctantly.
"And Jesus, you really have to prove to us that you can make better choices." Stef added. "If we think that you have bad influences in your life then it's our job to look out for you. We're also going to be discussing possibilities for getting that thing off you. That isn't a conversation for tonight though."
Jesus was about to protest but decided to pick his battles. Tonight probably wasn't the night to demand more respect.
"That said, we need to make sure you can talk to us about what's going on in your life, and that includes your girlfriend." Lena met him half way, sensing that there was more that he wasn't saying. "The most important thing for us is that you don't feel you have to hide things from us, even if it's something you are worried you'll get into trouble for. You have to trust that -"
"Ana's pregnant."
Jesus closed his eyes. He wasn't even sure how the words came out. There was silence. It was as if his moms weren't even there; that by closing his eyes he had transported himself out of the garden.
He had heard that speech of Lena's a hundred times but tonight, for the first time, he had reached the point where he couldn't block it out any more. Getting unnerved by the silence he opened his eyes, looking up from under his dipped head. Both his moms were as he imagined. Stunned.
Lena's shoulders had dipped down and her mouth was still frozen mid word. Stef looked more concerned, almost terrified but bordering on incensed. She was the first to speak.
"How...uhm." She stopped, finding a dryness in her throat. "How did you find that out?"
Jesus run his thumb across his lips, looking down to the grass and then up to face them again before slumping back in his seat.
"When I missed Mariana's competition, I wasn't at wrestling. I wanted to see Ana at AA. I wanted to know it could actually work. I hid in the doorway and she said it. She said she wanted to do better for the new baby than she did for us." His eyes swelled up, unsure of what would come from his admission. He wasn't sure if he could take more yelling but he braced himself just in case.
That didn't happen.
He was met with sympathetic head dips as both of his moms felt their hearts pang. This is what their son had been sitting with, this is what he had been trying to face and they hadn't been able to help; they hadn't even known.
"Honey, why didn't you tell us?" Lena finally spoke, in disbelief.
Jesus looked between them both as he thought it through. He was now asking himself the same question. This reaction was nothing like he expected yet it didn't feel like it was a shock.
"I thought you'd be mad I lied about it - and I didn't want to freak everyone out."
Stef stood up and turned, placing her hands on her hips and looking across the garden. How had they managed to let it come to this? Were they really that unapproachable? The tattoo she could understand but how could he think that they would punish him for something like this?
Stef turned her stare to Lena, locking deep into her similarly troubled eyes. She was almost apologising as if this was her fault. Had she driven Jesus away because of her distrust of Hayley? Seeing that she wouldn't be finding the words, Lena slipped off their seat and moved to sit next to Jesus.
"Listen, sweetheart. When it comes to Ana, or anything for that matter, our reaction will never be worse than having to cope with it on you own. Everything we do is because we love you and we want you to feel safe to talk to us. This..." she stuttered, still grasping the impact of what he had revealed. "This is something that was far too big for you to cope with alone. We're upset that you felt you had to sneak around to see Ana, you know nothing good comes of that, but we're even more upset that you have had to try and handle this news all on your own."
They sat for a moment in silence as Jesus took in her words. He chewed his tongue around the inside of his mouth as he mulled over what Lena had said. Stef listened, now having turned to face them but still hovering, unable to settle. So much of Jesus' behaviour was starting to make sense. This must have been torturing him. It was torturing her and she didn't have the same emotional attachment to Ana. What about the father? Who could that -
She froze.
No. Mike would never do that. She couldn't believe he would go there, it was too much. All the times he had spoken about Ana it was clear to her this was a sobriety quest. He was doing it as penance. He wouldn't jeopardise that. She was going to kill him though as he must know and- oh no.
Another cog clicked into place.
No wonder Jesus had been so sharp around him. Her poor baby had been going through who knows how many scenarios - and she couldn't even comfort him because she couldn't say anything for sure. She knew there weren't any words to be said that could help. She was left biting on her lip in powerless surrender. Her son was shifting nervously in his seat, looking between them still, waiting for whatever would happen next. Did she even know what would happen next? There was only one thing she could do.
"Here, come here." She beckoned him towards her as he stood up edgily, a puppy-like expression on his face. He looked so helpless, as much as he tried to hide behind bravado. He really was just a child, regardless of how much he wanted to act otherwise.
He edged towards her as Stef put her hands on his shoulders.
"Listen to me, love." She whispered. "We'll figure this out. I promise. We're here for you and Mariana and...well for whatever we need to be here for."
Lena smiled to herself as she watched her wife's tactility win over, as inevitable as her fiery temper and instant panic. She gazed on affectionately as Stef embraced Jesus tightly, moving her hands from his shoulders to his cheeks and then around his back, pulling him close.
Lena knew she would be holding as tight as she could and as much as Jesus would be wooden and reluctant, she knew it would be giving him the same feeling of safety that she got even from watching. She gave them a moment before standing up to join them and placing an arm around Jesus' head, pulling it under her wing for a kiss and running her hand down Stef's back. They stayed locked for a moment as the voices in Jesus' head finally quietened. He wouldn't cry, he could fight that, but this was the last thing he had expected to get from this night.
Peace.
He knew he was still in trouble for the tattoo, as he knew it would take about five minutes for Stef to remind him as a tension relief strategy, but that seemed insignificant compared to the freedom he now felt from his burden.
They were interrupted by a sound from the edge of the house. None of them caught what had caused it but time had gone on and the other kids would be returning soon. Stef was first to pull off, settling her hands on Jesus' shoulders once again as Lena moved off as well and settled one of her hands on top, the other placing itself comfortably in her wife's lower back.
"We need to tell Mariana in the right way. I want you to let us think about it."
"Don't worry - I didn't know how to tell her anyway." Jesus admitted, scrunching his forehead.
"Ok." Stef nodded, pursing her lips together and looking at her son's trouble face again. She kissed him to hide it, something he instinctively curled away from as best he could but eventually settled to indulge her. She lingered for a moment taking in the sensation before pulling back and patting his arm.
"But you're still in big trouble for the tattoo." She added, like clockwork. The accuracy of his prediction made Jesus snigger a little, much to his moms' confusion but he licked his lips and pulled out his phone.
"I could do with a break from it anyway tonight." He admitted, seeing a string of messages despite having texted Hayley as he was going downstairs that it was about to be taken off him and he would be see her at school.
"It'll be more than tonight." Stef murmured with a threat, tired as it sounded as she patted her son away. "And this won't be the last discussion about it either." She added as he walked back towards the house via a hug and kiss from Lena.
He exhaled deeply, rubbing his face and passed through the kitchen. He didn't even notice his sister sitting blankly in the breakfast nook, paralysed. She had only come round the back to see if she could catch some of the scolding. What she had heard instead had frozen her to the spot until she had finally made it to her current spot.
How was this even possible?
How could Ana be having a baby?
Jesus span on his chair. Jude was in there now, he had been pestering him with questions about the procedure and the level of pain involved. Jesus had been giving civil but uninspired answers. He wasn't annoyed by them, but at the same time his mind was so exhausted that he could barely focus on anything other than the ceiling. He still had so many questions, but offloading them had been like a lobotomy. Suddenly they seemed more manageable now that he knew he wouldn't have to answer them all on his own.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door to which Jude eagerly granted entry to. He never got tired of feeling such power of authority in having his own room, even if shared.
Mariana stood there silently. She wasn't quite tear soaked but she was clearly upset and Jude immediately tuned in to it.
Jesus had barely even noticed the knock until he heard Jude agreeing to give her a few minutes alone in their room. He sat up, almost thinking that he had to clear out as well until he realised the absurdity of that. It didn't take him long to zone in on her despair, he had spent his entire life trying to sooth her from it.
"What's wrong?" He asked, immediately scooting up as Mariana tried to find the words. It was clear she was holding back tears but she did seem to have a steady hold on them, a sign that whatever it was it hadn't just happened.
"Why didn't you tell me about Ana?" She squeaked out, mustering as much confidence as she could and without succumbing to the tears she had been fighting off in the place of forced rationality.
Jesus' heart dropped. Surely their moms hadn't told her already? They wouldn't do that without warning him and it had only been an hour since their talk.
"How did you- "
"I heard you talking. In the garden." She didn't wait for him to finish his question.
Finding himself speechless once again he felt his protective instincts kicking in. "Mariana, I really didn't want you to have to worry. I wanted to make sure that I knew what was going on...that I knew the best way to break it to you -"
"You didn't get to choose how it was broken to you. You should have told me. We know not to keep secrets about Ana. Last time we...I..."
"Hey - " He cut her off softly, hopping off his bed. As he moved to comfort her, Mariana stepped back and took a breath.
"No, Jesus." She stated firmly, a determined strength in her voice. "I don't want you to try and protect me like this. I love that you do it but - " She gathered herself again and bit down on her lip.
"You shouldn't have to always be the strong one." She explained as gently as she could, haunted by the image she had seen of her brother clasped between their moms. Nobody in the world drove her crazy as he did but seeing him in that vulnerable position reminded her too much of the last time he had tried to handle something like this alone; when he had tried to clear up her mess. She couldn't help but feel responsible this time too and although there was no physical harm, the thought he had been struggling with this alone reminded her too much of her own lone dealings with Ana those few months before.
"You never would have been in this situation if I hadn't have put you there." She added, realising she wasn't making much sense out of her own head. She rubbed her hand across her nose, only just maintaining her composure. She studied Jesus' look and began to play with her sleeve, diverting her eyes.
"I dragged you to that meet up. I used that stupid tattoo to blackmail you and if I hadn't have done that you never would have wanted to go back. We should have just left her alone."
Jesus had almost forgotten about that, so much had happened since. He put his hands in his pockets, trying to think of a response.
"It's not your fault, Mariana." He mumbled as she shook her head.
"No, maybe not entirely." She continued to furiously pick at her cuffs before looking him back in the eye. "But we went to that meeting together and well, we should face this together too."
Jesus dipped his head. This was another surprise. He had expected his sister to fly off the handle, to freak out, to lose it with anger like she had with Ana; been angry at him for digging further. What he had forgotten though was how much his sister had grown in the last few months. The fact she had stood up to Ana at all was proof of that. She wasn't finding this easy and none of it would be, but she was trying her hardest and he had to acknowledge that. He had been so scared of taking care of Mariana that he had missed that she had grown to be able to take care of herself. If that was the case for Mariana maybe he could have at least a little hope that Ana could grow too. Maybe this wouldn't all fall to him. Maybe there was an alternative to this pattern he had been trapped in and maybe he just had to be brave enough to have faith in that.
As hard as she was trying and with as much confidence he had in her strength, he knew that a hug wouldn't go amiss and he couldn't stop himself from pulling his sister into his arms. He wasn't sure what would happen next, he never was, but that would be tomorrow's battle. For now, he was happy just to enjoy looking after his sister without the pressure of having to do it - and finally he had found his perfect alternative.
I know some of you well enough to know you probably want to see the moms discussing the baby but I'd rather leave that to the show. Sorry! :P If there is space for canon missing scenes I may come up with something at that time.
Thank you all again and I would love to hear your thoughts. See you next time!