Chapter I

The sun was setting down on Paris as the party returned from the countryside. The King had been hunting for a couple of days and they were all finally returning to the city. Many Musketeers were in charge of security. The tedious duty of listening to Louis XIII had been somewhat brightened by the possibility to take part in the hunt. Aramis had made a great impression of his ruler by letting him kill one of the biggest and most beautiful deer in the forest.

Now, he was riding behind the royal carriage next to Porthos who was explaining in a boasting voice what he had planned for their free night. He intended to raid at least two taverns to consume as much alcohol as was possible.

« I might even have the chance to challenge a few Red Guards to a game of cards. Some money would be greatly appreciated and this sort cannot hold their liquor as much as I can. » He winked and knocked on his head to show how shock-proof it was.

D'Artagnan laughed but Athos only grumbled his disapproval. Aramis knew that his friend would only be drinking tonight, and would most likely pass out sometime around the wee hours of the morning. Truth be told, this prospect seemed rather appealing to him, too.

« What do you say, Aramis ? » Porthos punched his shoulder to get his friend's attention. « Stop thinking too hard or you will end with a headache. God knows you are not used to too much activity up there ! »

d'Artagnan was too good an audience ; he laughed heartedly at the joke. Aramis simply smiled, he was in no mood to banter. He was not in the mood to enjoy himself lately. Ever since the King had announced that Queen Anne was with child, he had become more and more moody. It was not in his nature. But when such an event, the pregnancy and what had led to it, befell someone, one must admit that it was a hard task to go back to a normal life.

Of course, the baby was a healthy boy, his mother had not suffered too much from expecting, and the Dauphin had a secure future ahead of him. A dull future, Aramis did not envy him one second, but a secured one anyway.

The Musketeer resented the idea that he would never be able to occupy a proeminent role in his son's life. Only two other people in the world knew he was his son and it broke his heart. It broke his heart that he could not tell his friends how proud he was. It broke his heart that he could not spend all his free time looking at his child. It broke his heart to hear the King speak so proudly of the heir to the throne, marvelling at how much he looked like him.

At this thought, Aramis snorted loudly. The King could be so thick. At least, he was certain he had sired the Dauphin ; the Queen and her lover were safe.

« What is it ? I am making fun of you here ! Or maybe you head is that thick and you did not understand the jest. Shall I rephrase it for you?»

« Try and I will punch you so hard, you will not need the alcohol to pass out tonight. »

« As if you could hurt me. We all know I am the best with my fists.»

« Is this a challenge ? » One of the side effects of his now complicated life, apart from the constant sadness and worrying, was that Aramis could lose his temper really fast. He did not like being asked what was wrong ; he did not like being brought back from his thoughts.

Athos saw Porthos grit his teeth, his fists clenching on the reins. He trotted between his two comrades.

« You need to calm down, Aramis. Your bad mood is making everybody nervous around you. If you continue like this, I will have to ask Captain Treville to find you some boring engagement to accomplish by yourself. » Aramis glanced at him. It was not the first time this threat had been made.

« I wish I could control myself. I truly do. I want nothing more than to go back to the way it was before...to the way it was last year, » he whispered, careful not to be heard by the two others.

« Well, you can't. Now is not the time to consider what would be if you had not been that foolish. » Athos fell back in line behind him. Aramis did not even try to explain himself. This conversation would never be settled. Athos had come to terms with what had occurred at the convent, knowing that there was nothing to do to change it. He still could not believe it had happened, though. A flash of fear passed in his eyes as he imagined the consequences of the whole thing being revealed.

The four friends were silent for the end of the journey back. The night had fallen when they reached the Palace. The Musketeers stopped their horses at the gate.

« Let's get back to the barracks as soon as possible. There are many glasses of wine waiting for us somewhere. Any suggestion on where to begin ? » d'Artagnan suggested a place near Constance's house. He was hoping to make an early retreat there to catch some sight of the woman he loved. Athos had no preference. Porthos turned to Aramis.

« I am not coming with you, » he eventually said. « I have some arrangement scheduled here for the night. »

« Really ? Are you going to sacrifice a free night with your friends to go see some woman ? Who is she this time ? »

« You do not know her. I will join you later tonight, I promise. » What he did not say is that he prayed they would be too drunk to realize that he would not hold on to this promise. Porthos grunted and turned his horse around, followed by d'Artagnan. Aramis jumped down from his horse to face a very unhappy Athos.

« Do you have a death wish I should know about ? » he hissed. « I cannot believe you would risk going in the Palace to see him ! »

« I have already done so a couple of times. I am always careful. »

« Yes, but both times, you were already on duty inside ! Tonight is different ! How do you think the King will react if you cross his path ? »

« I don't know ! I will tell him I wanted to congratulate him again on his kill. I will find an excuse ! And anyway, he must be so tired from the journey back that he will go to sleep at once. » Aramis rolled his eyes and the other took a step closer. Their faces were almost touching.

« Do not talk like this, somebody could hear you. You are playing a very, very dangerous game, my friend. »

« I am not going to apologize for it. I need to see him, Athos. You do not understand how I feel. I need to make sure he is safe. I will not be alone with him, if this is what you are worried about. Nobody will walk on a Musketeer tending to the Dauphin by himself. This woman I am meeting with, she's his governess, » he explained when Athos raised an eyebrow.

« You better be at the Garrison tomorrow morning at first light. » With this, the older Musketeer got back on his horse and turned around.

Aramis sighed. He had to admit he was a little bit sorry to inflict such an ordeal on his best friend. He quickly dismissed the thought, eager to be reunited with one of the other important persons in his life.

Walking in the Palace corridors, Aramis bowed his head to several girls he recognized. Most of them returned a warm smile and some giggles followed him down a corridor. He checked his face in a mirror. Dust plastered his uniform and his face, but he was too impatient to take the time to wash. Taking off his hat, he attempted to tame his hair, then knocked twice on the door. It was just a bad time to pass before he could have his reward of the evening.

« Good evening, you, » Marguerite said, opening the door for him. She was genuinely happy to see him. For one split second, he felt guilty manipulating her. He returned the smile, thinking of the baby.

The door closed behind him. It was the first time he had come here. Before, they always met near the nursery and did nothing more than talking and flirting. It came naturally to Aramis, so it was not too hard to do so with a woman he had no particular interest in. Besides, Marguerite was quite pleasant to the eye, her blond hair hanging loose on her shoulder.

« I thought you were not going to come. Or you had gotten lost someplace else, even though a lot of women here say you perfectly know your way around the Palace, especially when you have to meet with women. »

« What can I say if the King insists on employing such lovely and entrancing women ? » He smiled suggestively, bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She smelled of lilac. Her laughter vibrated on his skin. She took his hand and sat him down on her bed.

« You look tired. Is there anything I can do for you ? » Her fingertips lightly touched his eyelids, then kept going down to trace his jawline and the side of his neck. If he closed his eyes, he could easily imagine it was somebody else doing this to comfort him. His heart clenched.

« You are already doing a lot, my dear. » He kissed her again, first on the cheek, briefly on the mouth before ghosting feather kisses on her shoulders. These were met by a shudder of delight.

« We do not have a lot of time. I need to be in the nursery in one hour. » And so do I.

« We should stop talking, then. »

Aramis muffled the crystalline laugh with his mouth, lying down on the tiny bed and taking Marguerite with him.

Marguerite finished doing her hair. She came back to lie down next to her lover, running her hand on his bare chest. She rejoiced in the feeling and involuntarily, so did Aramis. He did not manage to go all the way, it was too difficult for him. After the convent and his night with the Queen, he had bedded several girls. Yet, ever since she had announced her pregnancy, he had not slept with any woman. Quite shocking, when you knew his ladyman reputation. There was something inside him that blocked him. He knew he had no right to think this way, but it felt like he was cheating on Queen Anne.

However, he had made sure that Marguerite felt completely satisfied. There were many ways for that, and he had not forgotten one. Her head rested on his heart, locks of her hair tickling his underarm.

« I wish I had the night with you. »

«So do I. » A lie. « You can, though. Let me find my shirt and I will keep you company tonight. » He was already up and dressing before she could utter her protest.

« But... »

« The Dauphin is only four months old, Marguerite. He's going to spend most of his time sleeping. Don't you think you could entertain yourself better with me there instead of simply watching over his crib ? »

He added a suggestive wink to the argument. It was enough to convince the girl. She retrieved the Musketeer's hat from the floor, put him on his head, then grabbed his hand.

« Come on, then. »

The closer they were getting to the nursery, the quicker Aramis' heart was beating. It had been almost two weeks since he had seen his son. Marguerite made him wait in the corridor while she talked with the other governess waiting on the heir. Some baby noises were heard and he clutched his hat more tightly between his fingers. He had to control himself. After all, he was here for the woman, not for the baby : this was what he had to remind himself. It was what everybody had to think.

He greeted Marguerite's friend on her way out. After what he decided was an acceptable few seconds, he pushed the heavy door open.

« He was fed just before we arrived. It should not take long before he goes to sleep. » She kept on talking and shushing the little boy, rocking him gently in her arms. Aramis stopped listening to her. His eyes were riveted on the blanket and the head he could discern in it.

The smile that spread on his face was not planned ; he could not help it. Proud and happiness surged through him, his chest heaving with warm feelings. Only a year ago, if someone had told him he would react like this, Aramis would have laughed and dismissed it. He was not the marrying type, he was not the committing type. He didn't use to care about having a family. Being a soldier was some dangerous business so it would seem unfair to make a wife and some potential children suffer from his commission.

Little could he know that a little dark-hair baby would change this vision forever. He came closer to Marguerite. She was not tall so when he put one hand on her shoulder, she had to crane her head to look him in the eyes. If he closed his, he could imagine it was the Queen holding the child. Their child.

"He's a beautiful baby." His voice was hoarse with emotion.

"But not as beautiful as you are, do not worry. You still have all my favours. Now, be patient a few minutes and let me do my job."

She resumed her walking, hoping to soothe the wee one to sleep. Aramis was simply content to watch her do so. For now.