South Park: Months of the Strange and Bizarre.

Episode 1, part 1: Train Trouble

Our tale begins on a warm summer's day, not so long ago, near the little town of South Park, Colorado.

We start on a train of all places! A smelly, poorly constructed train that is going way too fucking fast down the tracks!

Jesus fucking Christ! Is the driver drunk?! There are innocent people on that train! Someone could get seriously fucking hurt!

Seriously?! No one's going to stop it?!

Well fuck you assholes! I'm not standing by and watching innocent children die!

Go hire another fucking narrator! I quit!

Enjoy your story you sons of bitches! Hope hell treats you like crap!

Oh dear. Please disregard that last statement folks and enjoy the story anyway folks!

*/*

Feeling his stomach turn, Stan groaned and curled up in his seat, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Dude, how much longer is this train ride?" he whined, clinging onto his seat.

Covering his own eyes, Kyle sat in the seat next to him, exhausted from their long and agonising vacation.

(Well if you had to share a hotel room with Cartman for two weeks you'd go insane also)

"About half an hour dude, thank god" he groaned back.

Kenny sat in the seat opposite to Kyle, quietly reading the latest addition of the new comic 'Princess Kenny Vs Mysterion'

(Available at all Wallmart for just $1.99! Buy your copy today!)

Cartman sat next to him, stuffing his face with junk and being an asshole as usual.

"Hey Kyle! You drunk or something you stupid Jew?!" he announced with cackling laughter.

Pulling his hat up slightly, Kyle glared at him coldly, irritation dominant in his eyes.

"Shut-...The fuck up or I swear to god I will come over there and choke you to death"

Stan chuckled quietly before groaning and curling up again.

Cartman's face remained frozen as he tried to act like he wasn't scared.

"Yeah, whatever...Like a Jew could ever beat me.." he took a slurp of his soda to avoid finishing his sentence.

Sighing, Stan stood up and fixed his shirt.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a sec"

"Ok dude" Kyle said, stretching his stiff arms.

As soon as Stan had left, Cartman picked up a sweet wrapper, rolled it up and threw it at Kyle's head.

"Do you want to die fatass?!" He shouted, raising his fist.

Cartman scoffed and mumbled under his breath, hiding his mouth with his packet of crisps.

"God, looks like someone's on their period again"

Kenny rolled his eyes and went back to reading his comic.

*So many damn inaccuracies...* he thought sadly.

It was at this point that Stan staggered back over to their seats, his face was white and his eyes were wide, as though he had seen something of a...supernatural nature.

(No Fanboys, it's not that Tv show, now get over it)

Raising his eyebrows, Kyle sat up straight, fixed his hat and asked if he was alright.

"Dude, you ok?"

Looking up, Stan gestured for him to follow him before walking away once again. Curious as to what was going on, Kyle got up and staggered after his super best friend.

"Pfft. Bet that they're going to do something really gay" Cartman commented once they were out of sight.

Kyle followed Stan towards the door of one end of the carriage.

It was weird how he was acting, almost like he was scared or something.

Crouching down, Stan pointed up to the window of the door with raised eyebrows.

"Dude, look through there a sec"

Shrugging, Kyle pressed his hands against the door and peered through the glass, eyes widening when he saw what was on the other side.

Jumping up and down on the seats, miming air guitars and laughing were four girls, aged around 8-10 by the looks of things.

But that wasn't the strange part, ohh no.

The strange part was, that they looked exactly like each of the boys.

One of them had shoulder length black hair, blue eyes and wore a blue hat shaped like cat ears with a red poofball on it. She wore a brown jumper with red frills on the end of it, a blue skirt, red gloves, long white sport socks and brown coloured mountain boots.

(And for some bizarre reason, she was carrying a hockey stick)

Another girl was wearing a green hat exactly like Kyle's, except that it looked like a bird. She wore an orange jacket, gloves the same shade of green as her hat, long green shorts and little black strap up shoes. Her eyes were deep emerald green, and it was hard to tell what colour her hair was, as it was hidden by her hat.

The third girl wore an orange parka that was styled to end in shorts, and on the hood, it had two brown ears attached to it to look like a bear. Her shoes were rather beat up plimsolls and her long socks were slightly stained, but she seemed to pay no attention to it.

As for the forth girl...She looked exactly like Cartman, the only major differences being that her hat had cat ears on it, she had shoulder length brown hair and she wore a skirt.

Horrified, Kyle pulled away and fell down, gasping in shock.

"Dude! What the fuck?!"

"I know dude, I don't know what the fuck is going on" Stan said tiredly.

Turning to face him, Kyle's eyes were practically bursting out of their sockets.

"We should probably tell the others-"

Before he could finish his thought however, the door began to open.

"Oh shit dude!" Stan cried as they scrabbled to their feet and bolted back to their seats.

Seeing how out of breath they were, Cartman laughed at them.

"Ha! You guys should see your faces right now-"

"Ssh!" Kyle hissed, which made Cartman frown.

"Don't tell me to shut up Jew-"

Sensing an opportunity, Kenny clamped a hand over his mouth, muffling his voice.

"Thanks dude" Stan said, giving a thumbs up.

Suddenly, voices were heard coming up the carriage.

"Uggh! My mom is driving me nuts! Does she have to fucking get drunk every time we fucking go somewhere?!"

An angry voice boomed, as the sound of seats being wacked with a stick pierced the boys ears.

"Relax, It'll be ok" A soft voice responded, before continuing.

"Won't it?"

"Mmn mnnph"

"Uhh god! Let's just fucking sit down!" An annoying voice whined.

The boys remained quiet as the four girls sat down in the seats on the opposite side of the passage from them, not seeming to give a shit about how fast it was going.

The girl who looked like Stan twirled her hockey stick like a baton, a frown on her face as she stared at the floor.

"Say, how long do we have left on this damn thing anyway?"

The one who resembled Kyle replied cheerfully.

"About twenty minutes by now"

Sighing, the black haired girl ran a hand through her hair.

"Thank fucking god for that"

Slipping out of Kenny's grasp, Cartman growled with irritation.

"What the fuck Kenny?!"

The rest of the boys ignored him, they were too busy trying to figure out why the hell these girl's resembled them so much.

Hurt that he was getting ignored, an evil scheme came into the young boy's mind. He grabbed his still half-full soda and aimed it at the girl who looked like Kyle.

"Cartman no!" Stan yelled, reaching out to stop him, but to no avail.

The soda flew out of his hands and across the passageway before splattering onto the targeted girl's jacket, making her squeal a little in surprise.

The black haired girl immediately whipped around and locked eyes with Stan.

"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing you assholes?!"

"Shit.." Stan hissed, sitting up straight.

"Look dude, I can explain-"

"Don't give me that crap you little son of a bitch!" The girl retorted, standing up, clenching her stick tightly in her fingers.

"I know what you did! And now you're going to pay for it!"

Stan gasped as the girl jumped up on the seat and pointed the hockey stick at him.

"Jesus Christ dude!" Kyle cried, scrambling back in his seat In panic.

The black-haired girl was panting heavily, her teeth clenched as a vain pulsed in her forehead. Raising her stick above her head, she prepared to whack Stan with it.

"Alright you fucking piece of ass crap, game over!" she yelled angrily.

Gasping, the green-hatted girl ran over and grabbed her friend's arm, stopping her from dealing the blow.

"Steph! Chill out! I'm sure it was an accident!" she pleaded.

Stan raised his eyebrows in curiousity, why the hell was this girl sticking up for him?

Frowning, Steph pushed her out of the way and re-positioned herself to strike

"Kylie! Stay out of my way while I pound this asshole!"

Rolling her eyes, the girl wearing the orange parka leapt forward, grabbed her and pinned her to the ground effortlessly.

"I got this one" she said, her voice muffled.

"Jenny! Get the fuck off me!" Steph shrieked, kicking and struggling as the other girl held her down.

Kenny laughed at this, and made himself more comfortable in his seat, enjoying the show tremendously.

No matter how much Steph fought or struggled, Jenny held firm, showing a surprising amount of strength for a girl of her small build.

Reaching up, Steph grabbed at her hood, pulling it down slightly, so that you could now hear her voice clearly.

Her voice was very soft and calm, but it had such an odd sternness to it that it almost made you feel intimidated.

(Well, as intimidating as you can get for a nine year old girl)

"Dude, calm the hell down, you're overreacting. These douchebags aren't worth your time" Jenny said quietly.

Cartman smirked and began stuffing his face with popcorn.

"Aww sweet, girl fight" This earned him a cold glare from Kyle.

"Shut up fatboy!"

Red in the face, Steph shouted back at her friends

"Hey! I am not overreacting! They threw a goddamn soda at Kylie for no fucking reason!"

Sighing, Kylie sat down in her seat and fixed her hat.

"I've had worse thrown at me" she mumbled quietly, a sad look on her face that only Kyle noticed for a brief moment.

The overweight girl scoffed and took another bite of her chocolate bar.

"Please! I was practicing my swing"

Glaring coldly, Kylie pointed the finger of accusation at her.

"You threw bricks at me while I was practicing my violin solo!"

Meanwhile, Steph and Jenny were full on wrestling on the floor while the boys watched with raised eyebrows.

"Dude, really?" Stan said, trying and failing miserably at trying to hold back a laugh, they just looked so damn ridiculous!

Glaring, Steph successfully pushed Jenny off of her and stood up, staring Stan directly in the eyes.

"Ok douchebag, tell you what, I'll let you off just this one time"

Reaching forward, she grabbed Stan by the shirt and pulled him close to her so that their faces were just inches away from each other.

Cartman made fake gagging noises at the sight of this.

"Oh god, If they start making out I swear to god, I'm going to fucking puke"

Stan frowned at the girl that eerily resembled him.

"Huh, so let's see, If I 'Piss you off' again, then what?"

Eyes going dark, Steph spoke with threat in her voice.

"My mom's been teaching me how to use a gun since I was three and a half year's old so I can shoot your balls clean off from more than a yard away so watch the fuck out!"

Shoving him hard into Kyle, she picked up her hockey stick and swung it over her shoulder.

"Fuck this crap, come on guys, let's go find somewhere else to sit"

With that, she walked away, glaring at Stan as she went into the other cabin, closely followed by the girl wearing the parka with the bear ears.

The overweight girl stood up and stuffed the last of her chocolate bar into her face greedily before laughing cruelly at the boys.

"Man, you dicks are the gayest bunch of loser's I've ever seen in my life-and I hang out with Jew-whore over here!"

Cackling wickedly, she waddled into the next cavern, causing Kylie to glare after her.

Turning to face the boys, she stepped forward and smiled apologetically at them.

"God, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for any of that to happen"

All four of the boys sat up and looked at her with a surprised expression.

This girl was nice, really nice, unlike her other friends that seemed like total:-for lack of a better word:-bitches.

"It's ok..." Kyle said with a blank tone of voice.

"Yeah dude. And we're really sorry about the whole soda thing, you can thank fatass over here"

Stan said, gesturing to Cartman.

"Aww! Thanks a fucking lot hippie!" Cartman wined, folding his arms in a huff.

Smiling sweetly, Kylie shook her head.

"Don't worry about it, Carmen is mean to me all the time, I'm used to it by now"

At this point, the girl in question's voice pierced through the air.

"Hey you Jewish-Daywalking whore in training! Are you coming or what?!"

Growling, Kylie clenched her fists and took a composing breath.

"Shut up Carmen! I'll be there in a minute!"

"Kylie! We found somewhere else to sit! Come on!" Steph called from the other carriage, using a much calmer tone than before.

"Coming!" Kylie replied happily.

Facing the boys again, she waved and smiled.

"Well, I'll see you"

With that, she turned and hurried off, leaving the boys sitting in their seats like before.

Cartman burst out laughing, tears of joy streaming from his eyes.

"Aww dude! That was too fucking good! Stan almost got the crap beat out of him by a girl!" he cheered before howling with laughter

"Shut up fatass" Kenny said, his voice muffled

A frown crossed Stan's face as he dusted off his shirt.

"Dude, if that girl was not Bi-Polar to the max, I don't know what was"

Kyle shrugged and sighed

"Oh well, it doesn't matter, we'll probably never see them again anyway"

Or so they think! But our main cast have no idea what is waiting for them when they get home!

Raising his eyebrows, Stan looked up at the ceiling in confusion.

"Dude, you hear something?"

"No dude, why?" Kyle said.

"I thought I heard the voice of god or something...Oh well"

Damn me and my big narrative! Oh well! There's lot's more in store! So stay tuned!

I'm glad you decided to come back.

Hey, money is money.

*/*

Soon enough, the boys had returned to the usual school routine, much to their dismay. (Cartman especially)

As they sat in the classroom, they all shared a joint feeling of utter boredom as Mr Garrison rambled on.

Suddenly, something was brought up that caught the whole classes attention, that is of course if they weren't still on their phones.

"Alright children, I have some exciting news! Four new transfer students will be joining into our class! Isn't that nice?" Mr Garrison announced.

The class began murmuring excitedly among themselves.

"Transfer students?"

"Sweet dude!"

Cartman groaned tiredly.

"They better not be Asains!"

Clearing his throat, Mr Garrison wrote on the blackboard.

"Now, these students come from a school called 'North Park Elementary'"

Sitting up straight, Stan raised his eyebrows curiously.

*North Park?...*

Frowning, Mr Garrison turned to face the class.

"And I happen to know that their old teacher is a complete whore so these kids better be damn grateful that I'm taking them on!"

The whole class stared at him in silence.

Composing himself, Mr Garrison continued.

"Girls, you can come in now!"

As the classroom door swung open, the new students walked in and stood in front of the class.

The majority of the class smiled at them, but a certain group of boys merely stared in silence.

"Go on, introduce yourself!" He announced cheerfully

Smirking, the girl with the black hair slung her hockey stick over her shoulder, raised her head and addressed the class.

"My name is Stephanie-Ann Wood. And I'm from North Park. Colorado"

*/AN/*

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this.

Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions and as always, Rate & Review!