One more quick fic (I should trademark that phrase *wink*) before the next big story, Castle Cleanup. This is a prompt from Dragon Silhouette, as a reward for finding the Easter egg in Noise. His prompt was as follows (not his exact words at all):

Incorporate or at least mention the following items: 1) Sea-salt caramel milkshake, 2) Lawrencium, 3) An elephant.

And yes, lawrencium is a real thing. Look it up, the Wikipedia article is quite extensive. This ought to be fun. :) Congratulations, Dragon Silhouette!

Also, yes, this does take place in the Reluctant Father universe. It contains references to Stupid Questions and Noise. You do not need to read the other fics in the series to understand it, but you should still read them. Pretty please with a cherry on top? :)

DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I do not stand to profit from this work in any way. I have no idea how to make a video game as awesome as Kingdom Hearts, or else I would have. :)

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What You Make Me Feel

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What am I doing?

Ah, yes, Axel was having that moment when you realize that you just took your cute little Keybearers into the same building that you saw your worst enemy standing in, when you know that he is out to get them and you.

Don't we all just hate it when that happens?

Let's back up a bit…

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Xion had woken up at six o'clock sharp. She wanted to avoid getting up too late and making Saix angry—he had been unusually nice towards her since the incident with Axel for some reason (well, nicer than before, anyway), but she was not about to push her luck with that man.

Speaking of the Luna Diviner, she caught sight of him scrawling on a piece of paper. She cleared her throat to signal her presence (she didn't want to startle him, either).

Saix looked up. "Xion. You don't have to get up until nine."
"I just wanted to get up early to please you, sir."
"Well… thank you." Saix's face clearly said, Nothing you could do could ever possibly please me. Thankfully, this didn't register to Xion—facial expression recognition was not her forte.

Saix got up and slapped a piece of paper on the window. He left, seemingly in a hurry. When Xion investigated the paper, she saw those beautiful, wonderful, amazing words:

DAY OFF TODAY

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Roxas… Xion… Saix… SHAKESHAKSHAKESHAKESHAKE...

Axel's sleeping brain registered the shaking and went immediately into fight-or-flight mode. He was going to choose flight, since whatever was shaking him felt like it had a lot of power behind it. Had the monster from that scary movie he had watched so long ago finally caught up with him? Where were Roxas and Xion? What was going on?

The first two questions were answered immediately when his eyes flew open and he found himself staring up at a familiar blue-eyed girl. The third question was answered when the girl spoke.

"Get up, Axel!" Xion called, pulling him. "We have the day off again! We don't have to go on any missions! We can do whatever we want!"

Only Xion could treat a day off like Christmas morning. Axel sighed and rubbed his eyes. "OK, don't scare me like that… what time is it…" He looked at his clock. It indicated 6:35 AM.

Axel just stared at the time in resignation. "Xi, when do you usually get up?"
"Six o'clock," she replied cheerfully. "I use an alarm."
"…Only Saix wakes up at six in the morning, Xion."
"Exactly. This way, I don't make him mad by getting up late."
"What if you catch him doing something embarrassing? Some people do weird things in the morning."
"He was just putting up the note about the day off."
"You actually saw—Xion, I never thought I'd say this, but you want to start getting up later…"

Xion had already broken off to go wake up poor Roxas. Axel sat up and rubbed his face up and down. He wanted to do what any self-respecting man would do on a day off—sleep. But then he thought about how enthusiastic that little face had been, and he just couldn't bring himself to lie back down. She, what she just did and everything about her was just… what was the word…

Adorable. Oh, man, those kids really are making me soft.

Well, he could earn back his self-respect later. He sighed (he had being doing that a lot lately, thanks to Roxas and Xion), pulled himself off the bed, put on his uniform to ward off the Xemnas this-coat-is-the-Organization speech and left his lovely bedroom to find a new way to enjoy his day off.

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Xion was just as enthusiastic about her impromptu meeting as she had been the first time around. Roxas was just as confused and dazed. And Axel was just as tired.

The whole situation, in general, had a lot of déjà-vu to it.

Xion turned to Axel. "What do you want to do?"

I say again—I want to sleep. This was what Axel wanted to say. The words almost reached his lips, but he couldn't bear to speak them. She was just throwing herself into this, darn it, and he'd be a real jerk if he ruined it for her. Besides, something was nagging at his mind, and it had to do with this day off, and he couldn't figure out what it was, but he had a feeling that it didn't involve sleep.

"I don't know," he said, trying to imitate Roxas—that kid did have a talent for non-committal responses. "Maybe we could have a ton of ice cream on the clocktower, like last time."
"No!" Xion might have shouted it, had she not been so happy. "We did that last time. Do you want to look back on all your days off some day and think, 'I only did one thing every time'?"
That's perfectly fine with me. "No, I guess not."

While Xion tried to get an idea out of Roxas (he still didn't really get the whole 'how-to-not-work' thing beyond ice cream eating), Axel closed his eyes and thought hard. Was there anything else they could do? It wasn't like getting a different flavor for once would be enough variety for her.

Different flavor. Different kind?

Axel smirked. "Xion, I have an idea…"

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Three people, a man, a boy and a girl, dressed completely in black, strolled into the diner. The kids looked fairly normal, but the man had huge, spiky red hair and tattoos under his eyes. They seemed very happy, especially the girl.

Bob took one look at them and filed them under his list of customers. He had seen stranger fellows, and staring drove good munny away. He smiled his usual big smile. "Hello there!" he called. "Welcome to Bob's Diner, home of the sea-salt caramel milkshake. What would you like?"

The man with the spiky red hair stopped at the counter and whispered, "Lea."

Bob blinked. But it couldn't be, could it? Then again, Lea wasn't exactly a common name. No one in town had that name. It took him back to a time before…

He grinned from ear to ear. "Hey, I'm… feeling generous today. What if I gave you all my famous milkshakes for free?"
The man smiled. "That would be nice, thank you."

As it turned out, moving to this new world he had never heard of had been worth it…

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"How did you do that?" Xion asked in that skeptical, questioning way. She didn't buy the whole 'generous' story.
"Charisma," Axel replied with a knowing smile.
"But I have charisma, and the moogle never gives me anything for free."
"Xi, do you even know what charisma is?"
"…No."
"That's what I thought."

"This is good," Roxas said, already halfway through the milkshake and only now stopping for air.
"Roxas, if you drink it too fast, you'll get brain freeze."

That made him drink more slowly. He had gotten brain freeze at the clocktower once, and it was not an experience he particularly wished to repeat. Axel took a sip of his own milkshake. There was a reason the things were famous. The caramel mixed with the sea-salt in an amazing way, one not previously thought possible. It really took the red-haired Nobody back to a simpler time, a better time.

A happier time.

Is nostalgia an emotion? Axel thought to himself. Because if it is, I shouldn't be feeling it right now.

He snapped out of it when he caught sight of a hooded man passing by the window…

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So this is what those fools do when they aren't burning my experiments and destroying my inventions. Pathetic.

Vexen scowled at the scene. He had no idea what Axel's obsession was with those brats. They had one purpose, and one only—collecting hearts. Whenever they weren't doing that, they generally acted useless. Unless one counted 'asking inane questions during meetings,' 'destroying technological marvels' and 'drinking milkshakes with inane flavors' as being useful, of course, and Vexen did not.

He would put a stop to it soon, though. His newest invention would help with that. It had been a lot of trouble building the thing under Saix's nose, but it would be worth it.

Unfortunately, it didn't work through windows. Vexen would have added that feature with his genius given enough time, but his window of opportunity was today. There were no good hiding places near Bob's Diner, and Axel would definitely notice if he lingered too long.

Luckily, he did have a good clue where they would be next. Snickering to himself under his hood, Vexen set off again, knowing that today he would finally have revenge on all three of them.

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The sea-salt trio was walking through town again. There was still much time left in the day, and Twilight Town was a big place. The three had never properly explored the town—all they usually did here was beat up Heartless and eat ice cream at the clocktower. This was something of an adventure for all three of them. Axel was suddenly happy that he given into the temptation to roll over and sleep.

"Where are we going to next?" Xion asked, ever the eager one.
"I've seen some of the shop names while on missions, and I know a place you'll absolutely love." Axel smiled at her. "I just hope you'll eventually agree to leave the place. You'll like it that much."

Xion smiled back at him. If smiles had taste, this one would probably give Axel more of a sugar rush than the most potent corporate concoctions, it was so sweet.

You're getting the Cuddles again, Axel. The Cuddles are for people with hearts. You can't feel, therefore you can't… He just gave up at this point. His non-existent heart was going to be warmed today, whether he liked it or not. Better to embrace it than fight it, he figured.

But something was still nagging at the back of his mind. He felt like he had a promise to keep. Xion's smile just made it nag at him more.

He pushed it away. He'd remember it sometime today, and besides, they had reached their destination.

The three looked up at the sign. It read STUFFED ANIMALS—CHEAP. They looked through the window. The sign was correct. There were enough stuffed animals here to set up a whole zoo, and they were all no more than fifteen munny. Axel could probably buy the entire stock out of his own pocket, though he was wise enough not to tell Xion.

The girl's jaw opened wide. Roxas didn't really get stuffed animals ("…So, what do I do with this? Does it need fed?"), but Xion loved the things, being a massive fan of anything remotely cute. She had one already, a small penguin donated by Demyx she had named simply Bird, and she slept with it every night, but she occasionally lamented how 'he' didn't have any friends other than herself. Axel had passed by this shop once, and he knew that he had to take her eventually if he was ever going to live with himself.

"Like I said," Axel whispered, beaming. "You'll like it so much I'm afraid you won't want to leave."

Xion just hugged him, and he got this really warm feeling in his chest. He enjoyed the feeling, even as he kept a close eye on another hooded man, with a few strands of hair in the light the same shade as Vexen's hair…

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I was half hoping they were at least better than this. Childish imbeciles.

When Axel had caught sight of him, and recognition had played on his face, Vexen had hidden in the darkest corner of the store, right next to a giant stuffed lion that would be more likely to make a child scared than happy. They had the bodies of fifteen-year-olds, darn it, so why didn't they have the minds? He could understand a teenager keeping one small stuffed friend, especially a girl, but this… this was just absolutely ridiculous.

Axel and Roxas stood there, smiling silly smiles at their little puppet friend as she ran around stupidly, inspecting every single thing that caught her eye. It made Vexen smile, not because the scene was heartwarming (he didn't have the same sentimentality as Axel), but because it was so stupid.

He could have struck now, gotten it over with, torn apart the trio right here. But Vexen was a patient man. He was waiting for just the right moment. He was nothing if not dramatic, and he wanted to pop out and commit his deed at the most dramatically appropriate moment.

He had gone to drama class when he was a Somebody. He knew how to recognize when the final act was. And he knew it would soon be upon him…

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As things stood at that point, this was literally the best day of Xion's entire life.

Axel watched as she ran around, picking up and staring at lots of the creatures. It was mostly elephants—Xion was going through an elephant phase, after Zexion had lost a bet with Axel and been forced to give her a book on them. And the store had lots and lots of elephants, more than even bears. Watching the whole thing unfold brought on the Cuddles again, and Axel let it fall over him totally. Maybe we're wrong, he thought. Maybe Nobodies can feel, and all it takes is friends like these. Maybe we don't need Kingdom Hearts after all.

Finally, Xion found a small, sky-blue elephant, no bigger than her own hand, with tiny black eyes and a very small trunk. From his distance, Axel could just barely make out the name on its belly: Thomas.

He blinked. He recognized that toy. It had accompanied him many a stormy night. It was something he had not seen since…

Xion walked up to him, Thomas in hand. She put on her best puppy eyes, thinking this might be a hard sell. "Can I have this one?"
Axel responded without hesitation. "Of course you can, why wouldn't you?"
"Oh, thank you, Axel!" She hugged him again. The old woman manning the checkout, apparently blindsided by the sheer cuteness of it all, shed a tear of joy.

What am I doing?

This thought passed into Axel's brain as he saw a shadow move. It exited exactly two seconds before a dark corridor opened in front of them and Vexen strolled out, carrying the most ridiculous gun he had ever seen.

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What more dramatic time to strike than at the allegedly heartwarming moment between an adopted father and daughter?

Vexen cackled, channeling his inner mad scientist once again. "I have you now!"

Axel had burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. "What are you doing, Vex?!"
"Don't call me that. I am simply putting an end to your little friendship."
"Vex, you look ridiculous. I can even see that old lady laughing." He waved at the woman just before he was forced into laughter again.
"I just said, don't call me that. I call this little invention the Gun of Discord. It creates a small amount of lawrencium inside this chamber. The radiation from its uncontrollable decay comes out the barrel, and it subtly affects the mind of those it is pointed at so that they only see the worst in each other. They start hating each other with a passion. It can tear apart the strongest friendships."

Roxas and Xion, ever gullible, actually looked terrified. It probably helped that they didn't know about three-fourths of the words in those sentences, and that they understood 'tear apart the strongest friendships' perfectly well.

Axel only laughed even more. "Vex, you're acting like that ridiculous doctor in the Tri-State Area!"
"If you call me that one more time, you won't be happy. And it does work. I tested it on two male moose, and they were head butting each other for hours!"
"Vex, male moose do that. They don't need a 'Gun of Discord' for encouragement."
"That's it! I've had enough from you. Say goodbye to your friendship…"

Roxas dodge rolled. Xion tried to shield herself with Thomas. Axel just stood there. Ca-click!

A second came. Then it passed. The second was completely uneventful in all the worlds, especially Twilight Town.

Vexen stood there, still holding his Gun of Discord like a Green Army Man. His evil smile slowly disappeared from his face. He stared at the glass chamber that was supposed to hold lawrencium, but was currently a wonderful container of air. "Where's the lawrencium? Why aren't you reacting?"
"Science doesn't work that way, Vex. I thought you of all people would know that. Apparently not."
Vexen fiddled with a lever that was probably supposed to affect the settings, clicking every couple seconds. "Why isn't it working?"
"Lawrencium is a transuranic element. That means you can only make it in particle accelerators. Those are really big and that chamber is really small. Don't feel too bad, though—you made a new sci-fi toy to sell."
Vexen was shocked that Axel just said something smart and physics-related. "But it works on moose…"

Axel walked over to the security camera next to the checkout and took out the videotape—the long outdated camera used a VCR tape, but Axel had a VCR. "Mind if I take this? I'll get you a new one tomorrow."
The old lady nodded. "If it gets that idiot on television, I'll be watching!"

Vexen had reverted to cartoonish fury. "I am not an idiot! You are the idiots, running around this childish place! Imbeciles, all of you!"
"It's hard to take you seriously when you're still holding the Gun of Utter Uselessness, Vex." Axel waved the videotape in front of the Chilly Academic teasingly. "If I were you, I'd be very nice to us for a while…"

Vexen just spluttered as the sea-salt trio paid for Thomas and walked out.

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Axel, Roxas and Xion sat on the clocktower, eating their usual sea-salt ice cream while watching the sun set on the day off.

"Consider that your science lesson for the day, my Keybearers," Axel said, speaking of Vexen's pitiful attempt at destroying them. "Lawrencium doesn't work that way. The more you know."
Xion looked at him, still grasping Thomas tightly. "How do you know this stuff?"
"Charisma."
"Whatever charisma is, I want it."
"I thought you said you had it."

All three of them were laughing now. But that thing was still nagging in the back of his mind, whatever it was. He closed his eyes and thought deeply. Then he remembered.

"Xi," he said, taking a deep breath. "I think I promised I'd tell you what love is today."
Xion's ears perked up. "What is it?"
"It's what you two make me feel." He drew them in close, and smiled.

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THE END

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Yes, I not only used everything in the prompt, but I also managed to throw in references to Axel's past, Vexen as a James Bond villain and an ending that is probably making your heart light up the whole room right now. I am Cloudhead, king of Platonic AkuRokuShi. Look on my fics, ye reader, and be bombarded by feels. :)

Of course, this fic is mostly focused on AkuShi (I mean, poor Roxas only gets one line!), but I didn't intend it that way—the first draft is completely different. I write by the seat of my pants. Nor did I originally intend for it to be over 3000 words long, or for me to stay up until 4:00 AM writing it. I started at 10:00 PM! I need to write during the day…

Yes, Thomas the Elephant and Bird the Penguin will come up again in later fics. My headcanon grows ever larger, and it is mostly centered on Xion. Ah, Xion, why do you have to be so cute and fun to write for? It makes me stay up until four in the morning, and it also makes me give Roxas the boot! Seriously, whenever Roxas wanted a line, I had to shove him out of the way to write you. You are a mind virus! :)

I hope you enjoyed this… short-ish story. :) Remember, reviews are always appreciated. Here's a question for you: If you had to choose a real world quote and a theme song to sum up the Reluctant Father storyline, what would you choose? Answer in the reviews, and you may get a giftfic of your choice! Congrats again to Dragon Silhouette for winning the Easter egg hunt in Noise.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for Castle Cleanup. Now, let me sleep! :)