AN: Hello all! Well, this is just something I jumbled out of boredom. Had a lot of fun writing it and it'll be just as fun for you guys to read it. Hope it's not too bad and worth continuing :)
Be sure to tell me what you guys think in the review section yeah? :D

In which, Uchiha Sasuke painstakingly learns the art of seduction.

A tired, drowsy Sasuke idly scanned the room with narrowed, dark rimmed eyes, his right brow twitching incessantly as he spotted the array of emptied wine bottles on the lounge table. His accusing gaze then fell on the petite figure squeezed on to his frame, purring contentedly against his chest.

"Hinata…" He sighed, cautiously patting a full head of indigo hair, eliciting a muffled, groggy groan from the tipsy woman.

"I thought you had sworn off alcohol."

The ex-Hyuuga heiress slowly raised her head to pout adorably at her husband, blinking innocently as she always did to get out trouble.

"I-I get bored when you're away…" She hiccupped and began shifting her weight between both feet like a disheartened toddler. "But… now you're home." She grinned cheekily all of a sudden, tightening her hold on the broad, rigid figure.

"So let's have some fun!" Hinata giggled and hopped against the muddled man, throwing him off balance, much to his displeasure. "Let's go to sleep." He grunted dryly, reaching down to scoop the tiny, overly enthusiastic woman in his arms and began stalking drearily to their bedroom.

"Ehhhh?!" Hinata squealed in exasperation as she flung her slender arms around his neck. "That's weak man! The night is still young!" She announced, uncharacteristically loud, flailing her arms and kicking gleefully, paying no mind to the tormented expression etched on Sasuke's haggard face. He made a mental note to burn down all the breweries in Konoha the next morning.

"There are so many things we can do…" Hinata smiled dreamily, absently fingering the collar of his dark shirt. "If you're really that tired then you can just lie back and let me do all work. I don't mind." Sasuke simply raised a brow, searching her reddened, dazed face with confounded eyes. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Alright! Phase one complete!" She pumped her fists in the air as he laid her down gently on to their bed with impressive patience and quietly sat on the edge, once again completely oblivious to what she was spouting on about. "Now we just have to get rid of these pesky clothes…" Hinata murmured under her breath as she crawled towards him, refusing to leave him be, pale slender fingers twiddling and tugging on the hem of his shirt as he busied himself with removing his socks and shoes.

"Hinata." He sighed for the umpteenth time that night, straightening his back and taking a few deep, calming breaths. "I just got back from a horrifyingly long mission with the dobe as our squad leader," which meant tolerating his snores and occasional wind breaking throughout the night and stopping at every ramen stall in sight to 'gather information' and also because apparently miso was good for the brain and generating strategies. Sasuke cringed at the sour memory. "So I would really appreciate it if you'd just let me – What are you doing?"

Sasuke stayed helplessly still as the restless Hyuuga climbed on top his lap, her delicate features twisted into an impatient frown. "Ne…" She shifted so that their hips were in full contact, her surprisingly steady hands sliding up his abdomen, lifting his shirt in the process. "Let's do this already."

"Do what?" Sasuke groaned in confusion, slightly uncomfortable by the proximity. He longed for the silent, shy, considerate sober Hinata. Drunk Hinata was loud, stubborn and - "Have sex!"

- Horny!

"What?!" Suddenly he was very aware of the fact that his shirt had been conveniently discarded.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance when he blushed fuchsia and gaped at her, fed up with his guilelessness. "Sex!" She huffed in frustration and pounded on his bare chest. "We've been married for six months already, Sasuke!" The man gulped anxiously when she embraced him and nuzzled the crook of his neck, needy and wanting. He raised his hands at his sides, careful not to touch her, terribly apprehensive of human contact.

"You've barely touched me…" He nearly squeaked when a sleek tongue lazily trailed the curve of his neck. "I-It's like you don't even notice me sometimes!" Hinata moved back to stare ruefully at his beet red face, her brows twisted in hurt and irritation.

The memories of her wasted efforts in the past came to mind; the times of when she'd try to inch close to him when they were sitting down or when they were in bed at night, she'd try to cuddle with him only to have him pat her on the head, stay totally stagnant and even sometimes shift in discomfort! The times she would adorn herself the best she could and receive nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement or a small smile followed by a lame, "You look nice," remark. The most action she'd gotten throughout their entire six months of marriage was a reassuring peck on the forehead when she had bawled by his bed in the hospital that one time, and she was certain he had done it solely to shut her up. Just thinking about all her embarrassing attempts and his neglect brought a bitter, abnormal scowl to her face.

Sasuke blinked, clueless. He gave her words a moment's thought and looked more confused than apologetic, really. Warily a large, calloused hand reached to stroke her cheek, though with utmost uncertainty and reluctance, which only served to heighten her displease rather than tame it.

"Of course I notice you, Hinata." He droned with a hint of nervousness, the tip of his rough fingers grazing against her pink, porcelain cheek. "But you never… you've never tried to…" He awkwardly scratched his head as she fidgeted on his lap. "There's a reason for that. Not one that I am comfortable with sharing…" His blush intensified. "But there's a reason for that."

It was simple really. He didn't know squat about the female species and more importantly, their many needs and wants. He surprised himself when he had taken a liking to this creature, and even more so when he decided to spend the rest of his life with her. He enjoyed her company, and over time he felt like he needed it. Just watching her, listening to her giggle and chatter, even just to be with her in silence, it was more than enough. He never really thought about what she wanted from him.

… Why did she even consider marrying him?

As far as the touching went, well there was a lot of reasons for his repulsion. Life as a rogue and a war veteran not only kept him in the dark socially, but also taught him that when someone touches you, well, they want to kill you. It became sort of a reflex for him cringe away from contact or break the hand that dared to touch him. Thankfully, Hinata miraculously managed to escape the second. Maybe it was because her touch was so tender or because of that cursed emotion they called love, he didn't know.

The other, MAIN reason why he abstained from any kind of physical connection, especially with a woman was because…

"Sasuke-kun." The snake sanin grinned in a rather unnerving way as he held up the wet, slightly sticky sheets from the adolescent's bedroom, much to the boy's chagrin.

"I think it's time we had a little talk."

Sex education from Orochimaru.

Once Sasuke had reached puberty the sicko felt it was best for him to learn of the 'erotic dance' as he would call it, to ensure that his performance as a shinobi and quality as a vessel would not falter. The various diagrams, simulations, slide shows, pie charts and histograms that were shown to him, would be etched in his mind forever. What's worse, the creep had actually proposed to transform into a woman and give him a little demonstration if he wished it.

That treacherous incident had him scarred for life.

"I want you, Sasuke." The sensation of her tongue once again on his skin broke him out of his horrid reverie and back to the frightening nightmare of reality. "I need you… please." Hinata pressed herself flush against his muscled torso, burying her warm face on his shoulder.

How could he make her understand? He did not want to push her away and upset her. Perhaps it would be best if he just let her…

"This, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru positioned himself a little too comfortably between his grey haired assistant's legs.

"This, is called the missionary position."

"Hinata, get off me." Sasuke growled, a little more gruffly and with more venom than intended. He jerked violently, hoping to shake her off.

"No, not tonight." She stubbornly latched on to him, her sharp nails digging into the hard skin of his back. "Tonight you're going to give it to me good."

Oh god.

He was certain that under normal circumstances Hinata would have combusted into flames at the mere thought of muttering those bold words. The power of liquor is truly amazing.

"H-Hinata – "She was kissing him now, hotly and relentlessly, from his shoulder, to his collarbone, up his throat. It was cruelty! It was gruesome! It was… tingly?

"Stop, don't– "His voice was beginning to crack at this point. But even hearing him sound so miserable, the minx refused to stop!

"Hina – Ohhhh…." An involuntary, low moan left his quivering lips, instinctively his body arched against hers as she lightly nipped on the patch of skin below his jaw.

"Mm, you like that do you?" She giggled playfully into his ear, noting the adorable blush he was currently sporting, feeling extremely accomplished.

"N-No, I didn't, it wasn't – "Sasuke was silenced the second she continued her eager ministrations, licking, biting, sucking and nibbling away on his flesh as well as his sanity. He could feel her smile against his skin as his hands shakily settled on her waist. For support, he mused, excusing himself.

Then, abruptly she stopped and pulled away to face him, frowning as she heard him sigh in relief and felt his hands slowly slip away from where he had earlier planted them. His heart was thumping madly in his chest, his head hung low, his cheeks were burning and his hands were fisted in his hair. It seemed as though he could not comprehend what had just happened.

"Hinata" He managed with a strained voice. "Stop."

"Is that all you can say?" She framed his face, forcing his lidded, lost gaze to meet hers. "How about you use those lips for something more gratifying?" He furrowed his brows at her as she brushed her thumb across his dry lips, once again, clueless. She wanted to slap him on the head.

"Kiss me." Idiot.

"H-Hinata –"Sasuke scrambled.

"Kiss me!" She pulled him closer against his will, ignoring the terrified look in his eyes as their noses touched.

"Y-You've only kissed me like…" She looked up at the ceiling as she tried to recall, then turned back to him with a furious pout.

"O-One time! At the altar!"

"You're the only woman I have ever kissed." He tried to make it better, and failed miserably.

"Y-You kissed Naruto-kun twice!"

"Those were both accidents!" He barked, peeved and embarrassed.

"Y-You want Naruto-kun more than me…? A-Am I not g-good enough for you?" She ignored his previous statement, giving him a pained look as she spoke.

It was his weakness, seeing those tears shimmering in her woeful ivory eyes and above it all, to know that he was the cause of her sorrow… in the weirdest, most perverse way. "I've never wanted anyone more than you." He flashed a wavering smirk, twining a lock of indigo hair between his fingers. "Then kiss me…" She wriggled closer to him, angling her head in a way so that he would just have to move forward for their lips to meet. Which he did, initiating a chaste, innocent kiss, and for a while, the two of them stayed like that… until Hinata grew impatient.

This time, he really did let out a high pitched, startled squeak when she pried his lips open and stuck her tongue down his throat. His eyes flew wide open, his chest reverberated with muffled protests and his arms were waving about in the air until they finally found their places on the back of her head and around her waist, offering him stability as she continued to sexually assault him.

She moaned into his mouth as the kiss prolonged and deepened, sending jolts of electricity and ripples of warmth across his body, sensations he did not understand and that were foreign to him. It took him a long while to realize that his eyes had slowly fluttered close, his tongue had begun to wrestle with hers with almost equal passion and ferocity uncaring of the bitter aftertaste of cheap alcohol that lingered, his hand had dug into the thick of her hair and dragged her closer than she already was and the wanton moans that echoed within the walls of their bedroom were not hers alone.

The kiss ended with both of them gasping for air and flushed beyond what was thought to be humanly possible. Sasuke stared almost suspiciously at her smiling, sultry face as the deft digits buried in his wild mane soothingly raked his scalp.

"What are you doing?" He rasped, breathless and bewildered. Hinata smirked mischievously.

"This." She shoved him on to the mattress, none too gently, adjusting herself on his hips. Sasuke was lying on his back, craning his head up as high as he could and gawked, mortified when he saw his wife, the so called village sweetheart, hastily unbuckling his belt.

"Hinata, stop! This is juvenile! This is… this is rape!"

"Oh shush, virgin queen."

He groaned and threw his head back as she grinded her hips against his whilst quickly discarding the leather garment.

"Nice?" She smirked devilishly, in a way that would rival if not outshine even her husband.

"I-It's…"

Nice. Really nice.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and covered his eyes with his forearm, a mixture of emotions all hitting him at once; but as the friction continued, only pleasure remained and the rest including his previous fatigue and sleepiness slowly dulled away.

"Here," He peered at the woman with glazed lidded eyes as she caught and tugged on his wrists.

"You… touch me too." Sasuke yelped as she guided his hands to her bouncing mounds, and when he tried to retract she held them in place. Soon though, she didn't have to. There was only one word that popped to mind as he let himself immerse in the feel of those two huge balls of fat stuck to her chest… mystical.

He never understood the fascination men had with breasts. He had stared intently and thoughtfully at a few before, longer than he should have, trying to figure out what was so interesting about them. His little endeavour had earned him quite a number of tight slaps, one from the Hokage herself that had dislocated his jaw and made him detest said female body part(s).

Though grasping hers this way, made him slowly come to realize their magnificence…
Hers were big, round, surprisingly firm yet so… so…

"Soft…" He bit his lower lip, experimentally giving them a light squeeze, but removed his hands when she gasped, thinking that he had hurt her.

"Don't!" Hinata reprimanded and returned his hands to their true calling.

"D-Don't s-stop… I-It feels good." She giggled when he turned three shades redder, a testament to how secretly shy and inexperienced he actually was, that even a rookie like her could overwhelm him in bed.

Ever since their union, she would either snicker or burst out laughing whenever she heard the remnants of his fan-girls speculating about how lucky she was to be married to a 'sex god' like him. What a joke.

"Sasuke…"She gestured for him to keep his eyes on her, and then removed the barrette that held her hair together in a tight, secure knot, letting her long hair cascade down her shoulders. She watched as his lips parted and eyes widened at the sight.

She lowered herself until she was practically lying on top of him. He was still shivering, still gulping down the lumps in his throat and blushing heavily like a little teenage girl who was about to have sex for the very first time. Ironically. She briefly wondered if anyone else in the entire world had ever seen him so jittery, so vulnerable. "Relax," She lightly pressed her lips against his, deciding to proceed slower, seeing how he was sweating profusely and breathing raggedly, nearing hyperventilation.

"You're so cute!"

"I am not." He seethed, averting his gaze, glaring into thin air as she giggled.

She said nothing further as her lips travelled south, pressing open mouthed kisses wherever she saw fit, stopping once in in a way to nip on a few 'target' areas. Sasuke was much more silent and compliant by now, allowing her to have her way, knowing that even as the murderer of Orochimaru, Itachi, Danzo and many more legendary shinobi figures, he was no match for a Hyuuga in heat.

"Are we… really going to do this?"

Hinata stopped for a moment, giving him a quizzical look.

"Ah… Are we really going to have… sex?" He struggled not to stammer, ashamed enough as it is.

"Yes." She nodded and immediately went back to work.

"I... uh, I am a virgin." He coughed, convulsing slightly.

You make that pretty obvious. Hinata stifled a chuckle.

"Don't worry," She murmured between kisses. "I'll be gentle." She nearly lost it when he grunted a meek "Thanks"

Sasuke was too proud and too shy to admit it that night, but it did feel good eventually, once she had managed to calm him down a notch, it felt a little too good. There were times he wanted her to pay more attention to something particular, but was afraid she might laugh and tease him. She was driving him insane, making him feel things he thought he'd never experience.

Hinata… she made him all hot… and stuff….

Those deadly, divine fingers tracing his muscles…
The softness of her body flush against his hard front…
The warmth of her kisses on his chest…

Wait. What happened to all the kissing?

"Hinata?" Sasuke blinked down at the top of her head, her face was buried in the middle of his chest, her body unmoving, atop his. He gulped as he waited for her to resume, not wanting to seem desperate by urging her to carry on, yet… he was desperate.

So he poked her shoulder -

"Hina – "

- And heard a soft snore.

….

…..

…..

…. She fell asleep.

Sasuke twitched to the piercing sounds of chirping crickets and crying crows, mocking him.
For the rest of the night, he remained where he was, wide awake and glaring at the woman in comfortable slumber, who had robbed him of sleep, shattered his beliefs and left him with something he thought he'd never have again since he hit puberty.

An erection.

A drunk Hinata and an embarrassed Sasuke is always fun to write. Haha.