GILMORE DAYS
Title: Look Who's Crazy Now
Author: mocha-queen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All of it belongs to those whose names appear on screen.
Spoilers: General season 2 and parts of season 3. I just took a few things because I accidentally incorporated them later. Takes place in season 3. Dave is here.
Summary: Christopher returns and causes problems; Lane tries to find a way to deal with her Mom and Dave.
Author Notes: This fic is basically my idea season 3, so it's a rewrite of GG season 3 and most of the TV stuff hasn't really happened unless I've incorporated it. But I ran into a problem when I put Dave in, when he wasn't really supposed to be there. So, let's just pretend that Dave came in like he did in the show.
Thank you to all of you who have feedbacked. It means so much. And if you haven't sent feedback, please do! Again, all ideas for what else should happen are welcome.
Woo hoo! More! I have major plans for this now. I'm going to put major spoilers in it later, but for now, nothing more than general GG. I'm also going to see what I can do about a prequel type thing to this, taking place during the summer after "I Can't Get Started" up to "Beauty and the Beast."
(Shameless plug, go read my other fic, "Let's Dance.")
And last but certainly not least... I'm starting a Jess archive called "the Jess Situation." This archive will carry all pairings, ratings, and everything else Jess. It's not up yet, but Jewls and I are collecting fic. More like Jewls is collecting fic because I'm pregnant and she has more time to organize this stuff. So, if you would like to have your work posted, please let one of us know. And check out her stuff, under the name Jewls13, while you're at it. She's a great writer. ( http://www.fanfiction.ws/profile.php?userid=133821 )
Okay, I think that's it. Phew! Long AN. Possibly the longest.. and look, still going. Stopping now.
****
GILMORE LIVINGROOM
[LORELAI and RORY are sitting on the couch watching a blank TV screen.]
RORY: So what are we doing?
LORELAI: Shhh...
[Silence.]
RORY: Again, what are we doing here?
LORELAI: Shhh...
[Silence.]
RORY: [annoyed] Mom...
[LORELAI looks at her watch.]
LORELAI: Wait for it.
[The TV automatically turns on. John Stewart's "the Daily Show" is playing.]
RORY: This is what we were waiting for?
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: You couldn't just turn on the TV by yourself?
LORELAI: Nope.
RORY: [sighs] Okay.
LORELAI: Well, you know how we always miss "the Daily Show"?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: Well, now the TV will automatically turn on when it's time to watch "the Daily Show."
RORY: And if we're not home?
LORELAI: Then the sofa can watch the Daily Show.
RORY: Mom...
LORELAI: Fine, fine, I'll turn it off.
[LORELAI turns off the TV and looks at RORY. The phone rings and neither of them move.]
LORELAI: Let the machine get it.
RORY: We're sitting right here. The phone is a foot away from us on the table.
LORELAI: Let the machine get it.
RORY: But what if it's really important?
LORELAI: Then they'll leave a message.
RORY: But-
[The phone stops ringing and the message comes on. Then the BEEP.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, Rory, hi. It's Chris. I guess you're out now, so I'll just leave a message. I miss you guys. I'm sorry about everything, I never meant for it to turn out like this. I just- call me back, okay? Bye.
[Another BEEP when CHRISTOPHER is done. RORY and LORELAI look blankly at the phone.]
RORY: [whispering] Dad.
LORELAI: Yeah.
RORY: Wow.
LORELAI: Yeah.
[Silence.]
LORELAI: Have you talked to him at all since...
[RORY shakes her head.]
LORELAI: It's been like seven months.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Are you not talking to him for me?
RORY: [shocked] What?
LORELAI: He left, it hurt, but I don't want you cutting yourself off from your father because of something that happened between him and me.
RORY: [confident] It's not you.
LORELAI: Then why haven't you talked to him?
RORY: [crying] He promised me. He promised that it would last. I made it perfectly clear to him that this was his last chance and he couldn't screw it up.
LORELAI: [continuing] Instead he screwed Sherri.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Honey, I know you're mad, and you have every right to be...
RORY: But?
LORELAI: But you have to talk to him sometime. He's your father, he loves you.
RORY: And I love him but he hurt me, he hurt you. He hurt us.
LORELAI: I know. It sucks, but you have to talk to him eventually. We're going to have to talk to him, Sherri and their kid. I mean, you're going to be a sister.
RORY: Wow. I never thought about having a sibling. It's always been just me and you.
LORELAI: It will always be just me and you.
RORY: [freaking out] Yeah, but... I'll have a brother or sister soon and I'll have to be their sister and... I don't know how to be a sister!
LORELAI: Rory, honey, calm down. You're not going to be a full time sister. That kid will be living with Chris and Sherri in Boston, you'll have weekend visits. You'll be the cool sister Rory, you'll get to spoil them rotten, give them candy so their teeth fall out and really piss off Sherri.
RORY: [smiling] I like that.
LORELAI: No one's going to force you to be apart of their lives, but Rory-
RORY: I know. I still have to talk to Dad.
LORELAI: Yeah.
KIM RESIDENCE
[LANE and RORY are in the closet.]
LANE: You going to call him back?
RORY: I should, I mean, he is my Dad.
LANE: You should call him.
RORY: I will... eventually. [pause] So, how are you and Dave?
LANE: [smiling] Really good.
RORY: Found a way around Mrs. Kim yet?
LANE: [shakes her head] No. [pause] I really like Dave.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I've never liked a boy like this. Ever.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I want to be able to date him without worrying about my mother.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I need to find a way for Mama to like him, approve of him, despite his non-Korean status, and let me date him.
RORY: Good luck with that.
LANE: Thanks. Any ideas?
RORY: Giving Dave plastic surgery becomes more and more appealing each day, doesn't it?
LANE: Sadly, yes. But I need a better idea because I like Dave just the way he is.
RORY: Maybe you should just talk to Mrs. Kim.
LANE: Look who went crazy!
RORY: I'm serious.
LANE: You've met Mrs. Kim, right?
RORY: She probably would have let you go out with Henry if you told her.
LANE: He was Korean!
RORY: Just talk to her.
LANE: Talk to Mrs. Kim about a non-Korean boy? Seriously, Rory, you're even crazier than your mother.
RORY: Lane, you're running out of options. You need to talk to her.
LANE: I know.
RORY: Maybe invite Dave over. Make her like him and.
LANE: And you're crazy again!
RORY: Why is that so crazy?
LANE: Invite a non-Korean boy over in front of Mrs. Kim? Sounds crazy.
RORY: Lane...
LANE: I know. I'll talk to her.
NEXT DAY-LUKE'S DINER
[LORELAI and RORY walk in. LUKE is manning the diner.]
LORELAI: [laughing] So I said to Michel, get your ass up off that chair and gimme a hand!
RORY: I still don't see the funny.
LORELAI: [giving up] Ah, your loss.
[RORY looks at LUKE and points upstairs.]
RORY: Luke?
LUKE: Yeah, yeah, go. Tell him he needs to fix the toaster, too.
RORY: Okay.
[RORY runs up stairs. LORELAI leans over the counter and kisses LUKE square on the lips.]
LUKE: You know how I feel about public displays of affection.
[TAYLOR walks in and stops at the door. LORELAI kisses LUKE again.]
TAYLOR: Luke! I need you to sign these forms! All storeowners have to sign them, agreeing to the new storefront policy.
[LORELAI and LUKE are still kissing.]
TAYLOR: [yelling] Luke! LUKE! We need to make sure that there are no obscene objects in store windows.
[LORELAI and LUKE continue kissing.]
TAYLOR: [raging] LUKE! Listen to me! This is important and I have everyone's signature but yours! [pause] Fine! Be that way! Come find me when you're finished.
[TAYLOR leaves. LORELAI and LUKE break apart.]
LUKE: Now that was funny.
[LUKE kisses LORELAI again.]
UPSTAIRS
[RORY walks into the apartment as JESS walks out of the bathroom, after his shower, with a towel around his waist.]
JESS: Hey.
RORY: [embarrassed] Sorry-I should have knocked first, I didn't know-
[JESS cuts her off with a kiss.]
RORY: [breathless] Hi.
JESS: Hey. Just lemme put some clothes on and we'll go do something, kay?
[RORY nods and JESS goes to change. RORY picks up a book and reads while she waits. JESS comes out a few minutes later, fully clothed, and sits beside RORY and reads over her shoulder.]
JESS: Good book?
RORY: You tell me. Judging by your margin notes, I'd say you've read this many times.
JESS: Good book.
RORY: [smiles] Good.
[RORY goes back to reading. JESS starts kissing RORY'S neck. RORY tries to pay attention to the book but JESS is very distracting, she forgoes the book and leans back so he can play.]
RORY: mmm.
JESS: You like?
RORY: [smiling] I definitely like.
[LUKE stomps up the stairs and throws open the door, RORY and JESS quickly separate.]
LUKE: What the hell is going on here? Wait, you know what? I don't want to know. Jess, downstairs now.
JESS: [shrugs] Fine.
[JESS goes to the door.]
LUKE: Rory, your mom wants to talk to you.
RORY: Okay.
[RORY follows JESS out the door, he drapes an arm over her shoulder and pulls her close. They run into LORELAI on the stairs.]
LORELAI: [smiling] My turn.
RORY: Ew, gross.
LORELAI: Just kidding.
RORY: Still gross.
LORELAI: Grandma wants us to bring the guys to dinner tomorrow.
RORY: She already met them.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: And she wants to see them again?
LORELAI: That's what she implied over the phone.
RORY: Why does she want to see them again?
LORELAI: Hon, you're guess is as good as mine. Now, be a good little girl and wait out in the car for mommy.
RORY: What are you going to do?
LORELAI: [smiling wickedly] Say goodbye to Luke.
RORY: Gross.
[JESS and RORY continue down the stairs while LORELAI runs up.]
KIM RESIDENCE
[LANE comes down the stairs.]
LANE: Mama?
MRS. KIM: Kitchen!
[LANE walks into the kitchen, MRS. KIM is making tea.]
MRS. KIM: Tea?
LANE: No thank you. Mama, I need to talk to you.
MRS. KIM: You talk right now.
LANE: Yes, and I would like to continue talking.
MRS. KIM: Hurry up, then. I have customers.
LANE: I was...
MRS. KIM: Yes?
LANE: I was wondering if... [quickly] I could go see Rory?
MRS. KIM: No, you must finish your homework.
LANE: Mama, it's done.
MRS. KIM: No, you cannot see Rory, anything else?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Make it quick.
LANE: I... I want to invite a friend from school. We have a project we need to work on.
MRS. KIM: Who is this friend from school?
LANE: His name is Dave Rygalski.
MRS. KIM: Doesn't sound Korean.
LANE: He's not.
MRS. KIM: No. Can't work with non-Korean boy.
LANE: It's a school project.
MRS. KIM: What project?
LANE: It's on music.
MRS. KIM: No. You can't work on project either.
LANE: It's history!
MRS. KIM: You said music.
LANE: Classical music. We have to research composers and their pieces.
MRS. KIM: Classical music?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: You stay in kitchen, your eye stay on work. No talking about anything but school.
LANE: Yes, Mama.
GILMORE HOUSE
[RORY is in her room getting ready to go to dinner and talking on the phone with LANE.]
RORY: So you're going to do extra work on classical music composers just to hang out with Dave?
LANE: Yes.
RORY: [skeptical] Okay.
LANE: No, it'll be perfect.
RORY: [sighing] Explain.
LANE: I know Mama said that we can only talk about school...
RORY: But?
LANE: But what if we get into a discussion about God?
RORY: Continue.
LANE: If Mama hears that Dave worships God and that he's very strong on religion, she'll like him, and she'll let me like him. And I'll get to date Dave Rygalski without him dying a painful death from my mother!
RORY: Well, that was well thought out.
LANE: Spur of the moment when I couldn't actually tell Mama about Dave.
RORY: Very good thinking.
[The doorbell rings.]
LORELAI: [from the hall] Ror, the guys are here!
RORY: [to LORELAI] Coming! [to LANE] I gotta go. Friday night dinner with the guys.
LANE: Yeah, good luck with that.
RORY: Good luck with you and Dave.
LANE: Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow after he leaves.
RORY: You better.
LANE: Bye.
RORY: Bye.
[RORY hangs up the phone and hops off the bed to meet JESS. RORY jumps into his arms.]
RORY: Hey.
JESS: Hey.
[They kiss. LORELAI and LUKE are kissing but pull away.]
LORELAI: Awww, now let's go.
[RORY and JESS follow LUKE and LORELAI to the car and they drive off.]
ELDER GILMORE HOUSE-OUTSIDE
[RORY, JESS, LUKE and LORELAI are standing outside the door.]
LORELAI: [to RORY] You ring it.
RORY: [to LORELAI] No, you ring it.
LORELAI: [to JESS] You ring it.
JESS: [to LORELAI] No, you ring it.
[LORELAI looks at LUKE but before she can talk he rings the doorbell.]
LUKE: I'll ring it.
LORELAI: [pouting] Hey! You spoiled our fun.
LUKE: I'll make it up to you.
LORELAI: Yay! Junk food!
[EMILY answers the door.]
EMILY: Come in, come in. Richard won't be joining us tonight, he's stuck at the office.
LORELAI: Out with the secretary again, huh?
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: I was-
LUKE: [interrupting] Emily, nice to see you again.
EMILY: Yes, you too.
LORELAI: [continuing] I was just making a joke that-
RORY: Grandma, hi.
EMILY: Hello Rory, hello Jess.
JESS: Ma'am.
LORELAI: [continuing] I just meant that Dad was-
EMILY: Dinner is being served early.
RORY: Great, I'm starving.
LORELAI: [yelling] Hey! Dad's having an affair with his secretary!
EMILY: [horrified] Lorelai, don't say such a thing.
LORELAI: I wasn't-
EMILY: I don't care. It's rude to make vulgar comments about your father having an affair with his secretary!
[EMILY leads LUKE, JESS and RORY to the dinning room. LORELAI follows, slowly.]
LORELAI: [quietly, to herself] It was just a joke.
[They are all sitting around the table eating when the door bell rings.]
EMILY: Now, who on earth could that be?
[The maid opens the door and CHRISTOPHER walks in.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor-We need to talk.
[LORELAI is in shock, RORY looks like she's about to cry, JESS puts his arm around RORY, LUKE puts his hand over LORELAI'S, EMILY looks blankly at all of them.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai, we really need to talk.
LORELAI: Christopher, now is not the time.
CHRISTOPHER: Please.
[LORELAI gets up and leads him out the front door, not closing it completely.]
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: I miss you.
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: You never returned my phone calls.
LORELAI: Christopher, answer my question. What the hell are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: You've been avoiding me, I called the other day and you haven't called me back.
LORELAI: Maybe we were busy, not everything revolves around you. And what about the seven months of us not calling back? You didn't come and visit then.
CHRISTOPHER: Seven months?
LORELAI: Yes.
CHRISTOPHER: We haven't talked for seven months?
LORELAI: [coldly] You've talked.
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, Can we please-
LORELAI: Please? Please what, Chris? Please not do this? No. You came here, and we're going to have this conversation that's been seven months in the making.
CHRISTOPHER: If you're going to freak out over this, then maybe I don't want to talk to you.
LORELAI: Where the hell do you get off being so superior?
CHRISTOPHER: What?
LORELAI: You come here, I fall for you again, you promised me that this time it would be different. But most importantly, you promised your daughter that this would work.
CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai...
LORELAI: No! You promised Rory that this would work out, that we'd be a family. You promised her and you left. You broke her heart, Chris, and she's not just going to forgive you this time. You took it too far.
CHRISTOPHER: I never meant for this to happen.
LORELAI: No, you didn't mean for a lot of things to happen. You didn't mean to get me pregnant, you didn't mean to have Rory then, you didn't mean to not go to Princeton, you didn't mean to make promises you couldn't keep, or not come and visit Rory as much as either of you would have liked. You didn't mean to get Sherri pregnant and you didn't mean to break our hearts! But you did!
CHRISTOPHER: [sadly] I'm sorry.
LORELAI: [coldly] That doesn't change anything.
CHRISTOPHER: What do you want me to say? Lor, I'm out of ideas here, I don't know what more I can do.
LORELAI: You could start by saying why you're here.
CHRISTOPHER: I miss you. I miss Rory. I haven't seen Rory in seven months, apparently.
LORELAI: And whose fault is that?
CHRISTOPHER: Yours.
LORELAI: [taken back] Excuse me?
CHRISTOPHER: You're keeping Rory away from me.
LORELAI: Okay, you just crossed that line.
CHRISTOPHER: What line?
LORELAI: The line that's marked with neon flashing signs saying, "Do not cross!" Where the hell do you get off telling me that I'm keeping Rory away from you? I've never kept her away from you. You're her father and she needs you. I've never, ever kept her from you.
CHRISTOPHER: Really?
LORELAI: Really.
CHRISTOPHER: Then why hasn't she called? Written a letter? Stopped by?
LORELAI: Because she's mad!
CHRISTOPHER: I have a hard time believing this is just her.
LORELAI: It is just her. You promised her and you broke that promise. She banked everything on us, Chris, and you just left. You didn't even tell her yourself.
[The voices drift from the open door. RORY is shocked, listening to the conversation and when her name comes up, she gets up to defend LORELAI. JESS tries to hold her back but she goes. RORY appears at the door surprising both CHRISTOPHER and LOREAI.]
RORY: [coldly] Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: [softly] Rory, I missed you.
[CHRISTOPHER moves to hug RORY but she backs away to LORELAI.]
RORY: Mom had nothing to do with it.
CHRISTOPHER: You hate me that much not to talk to me?
RORY: I don't hate you.
CHRISTOPHER: Then why haven't you called? I haven't seen you, never the less heard from you in seven months!
RORY: It's hard, okay?
CHRISTOPHER: I know it's hard.
RORY: [yelling] No you don't! You're never around, you know nothing!
LORELAI: Honey, calm down.
RORY: [to LORELAI] No. He promised me he'd be here and he left. [to CHRISTOPHER] Dad, the one thing that I ever wanted from you was to be my dad and you promised me that you'd be there. You promised.
CHRISTOPHER: Ror, I'm sorry. But-
RORY: [angry] No! I don't care. You let us down, we were counting on you and you let us down!
CHRISTOPHER: [defensively] Some things came up.
RORY: [bitterly] Things always come up. [softly] But you know what sucked the most? Is you getting Mom to tell me.
CHRISTOPHER: Rory.
RORY: I don't want to see you right now.
CHRISTOPHER: [pleading] Rory!
LORELAI: Rory, honey, go inside.
[RORY looks sadly at CHRISTOPHER and LORELAI then goes inside.]
CHRISTOPHER: She hates me.
LORELAI: Give her time.
CHRISTOPHER: So, what now?
LORELAI: Chris, I want to know what you're doing here. And I know it's not just because you miss us.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, I'm sorry but things are just...
LORELAI: Just what?
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
LORELAI: Did you ever?
CHRISTOPHER: This is different. I've got a kid.
LORELAI: [sarcastic] And you didn't have one before?
CHRISTOPHER: That's not what I mean. I want to be apart of this child's life but I don't know how.
LORELAI: [sardonic] Eighteen years of practice.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know how you did it, raising Rory.
LORELAI: Maybe you would have if you were around.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm not sure if I want to do this.
LORELAI: What?
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know if I want this kid with Sherri.
LORELAI: A little late for that, Chris. You're out of options.
CHRISTOPHER: I know... I just don't know what to do.
LORELAI: You came here to ask me advice?
CHRISTOPHER: No. [pause] I came here because I want you back.
LORELAI: [completely sarcastic] Here's an idea, ask me to marry you, again!
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, marry me?
LORELAI: [dryly] Not funny, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: [serious] No, it's not.
LORELAI: What the hell are you doing? You have a kid on the way. With Sherri!
CHRISTOPHER: I know. But Lor, it's always been you. I still want you to be my wife.
LORELAI: [trying to remain calm] It's time for you to go, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: No, Lor, we need to talk about this.
LORELAI: You can't just randomly come back and ask me to marry you. And what about Sherri?
CHRISTOPHER: What about her?
LORELAI: Umm, she's carrying your child? You have to be with her, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't want this kid, Lor.
LORELAI: We didn't want Rory at the time and she's the best thing that ever happened to us!
CHRISTOPHER: [exasperated] I don't know what to do.
LORELAI: Go back to Sherri, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: But Lorelai, I want to be with you.
LORELAI: Chris, I can't. Not this time.
CHRISTOPHER: Why not?
[RORY comes back into the dinning room, crying, JESS tries to comfort her. EMILY has left. LUKE looks worried and decides to go out and rescue LORELAI.]
LORELAI: Because I'm-
[CHRISTOPHER kisses LORELAI just as LUKE walks out side. He backs up and hits the wall causing CHRISTOPHER and LORELAI to look at him.]
LORELAI: Luke, I-
LUKE: [sadly] Don't. Just go.
LORELAI: [cautious] What?
LUKE: You've always wanted to be with him, Lorelai. Just go.
LORELAI: [frantic] No! Luke!
[LUKE turns and goes inside.]
LORELAI: [coldly] Go home, Christopher.
[LORELAI runs in after LUKE. RORY and JESS look up.]
LORELAI: Christopher asked me to marry him.
RORY: You said no.
LORELAI: Then he kissed me and Luke saw.
RORY: Go talk to Luke.
LORELAI: I know you're mad, and I know it's a lot to ask but-
RORY: [nodding] I'll make sure he goes.
LORELAI: Thanks.
[LORELAI runs after LUKE. RORY goes outside and JESS follows, not wanting RORY to face CHRISTOPHER on her own.]
RORY: Dad, go home.
CHRISTOPHER: What was that about?
RORY: What was what about?
CHRISTOPHER: Your Mom and Luke.
RORY: Mom's happy.
CHRISTOPHER: She's with Luke?
RORY: Yes and she's happy.
CHRISTOPHER: I asked her to marry me.
RORY: You can't keep doing that. She's not going to change her mind.
CHRISTOPHER: I noticed.
RORY: I think you should leave.
CHRISTOPHER: Ror, I think we should talk.
RORY: [crying] I don't want to talk right now. I don't want to be standing in front of you right now, but Mom has to fix things with Luke.
CHRISTOPHER: [pleading] Rory, please.
RORY: Dad, no! Not now.
JESS: [coldly] I think you should go now.
CHRISTOPHER: Who are you?
RORY: Dad this is Jess.
CHRISTOPHER: Jess... Jess, why does that sound familiar? [pause] Right, he broke your arm.
RORY: [warning] Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: You know, I never get to chew him out.
RORY: [angry] Dad.
JESS: I can take it.
RORY: [pleading] Jess.
CHRISTOPHER: You hurt her.
RORY: It's over, let's just forget about it.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: What are you doing here?
JESS: I could ask you the same question.
RORY: [worried] Hey, guys, can we please stop?
CHRISTOPHER: I came to see my daughter.
JESS: Seems to be the trend.
RORY: [anxious] Guys?
CHRISTOPHER: And what are you doing here?
JESS: Seeing your daughter.
RORY: [softly] Please?
CHRISTOPHER: Are you dating her?
JESS: Define dating.
CHRISTOPHER: Smart ass, huh?
JESS: From what I'm told, you are too.
CHRISTOPHER: We seem to have a lot in common.
JESS: Yet, nothing at all.
CHRISTOPHER: [snapping] What do you mean by that?
RORY: [pleading] Jess, Dad, please stop.
JESS: I don't go around breaking promises.
CHRISTOPHER: Stay out of my business kid, you have no idea.
JESS: I know enough.
RORY: [yelling] STOP!
CHRISTOPHER: Rory, honey, go inside. I want to have a talk with Jess.
RORY: No way, I'm not leaving so you can mangle him.
CHRISTOPHER: I'll be nice.
RORY: [sharply] No!
JESS: Rory, please. I'll take care of it.
RORY: [worried] Jess?
[JESS pulls RORY into his arms and kisses her.]
JESS: Don't worry about it.
[RORY reluctantly leaves JESS and CHRISTOPHER alone.]
JESS: Nice bike.
CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, you got one?
JESS: No. Got a car.
[CHRISTOPHER points to the one behind the jeep.]
CHRISTOPHER: Yours?
JESS: Yeah.
CHRISTOPHER: Good car?
JESS: Gets me where I want to go.
CHRISTOPHER: Don't take Rory in it.
JESS: What?
CHRISTOPHER: The car's crap.
JESS: Whatever, man.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: What happened to Dean?
JESS: He's sulking around Stars Hollow somewhere.
CHRISTOPHER: I mean Dean and Rory.
JESS: They broke up.
CHRISTOPHER: I bet you swept right in to take advantage of her.
JESS: Who the hell do you think I am?
CHRISTOPHER: I think you're the guy who hurt my daughter.
JESS: I'm not going to hurt her again.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: If you hurt her, I will kill you.
JESS: Get in line.
CHRISTOPHER: I should go.
JESS: You never should have come.
CHRISTOPHER: Rory needs her father.
JESS: She has one.
CHRISTOPHER: What?
JESS: Luke. In case you haven't noticed, Luke's taken more responsibility for her than you ever have.
CHRISTOPHER: Where are you getting this?
JESS: Rory's told me a lot. Besides, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.
CHRISTOPHER: I miss her.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: I still want to kill you.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: But Rory likes you.
JESS: I have no idea why.
CHRISTOPHER: My threat still stands, hurt her and die.
JESS: Lorelai has first dibs.
CHRISTOPHER: Do me a favour?
JESS: [cautious] I don't know.
CHRISTOPHER: Talk to Rory.
JESS: Let her calm down.
CHRISTOPHER: Please?
JESS: I'll try.
CHRISTOPHER: You on good terms with your Dad?
JESS: No. He ditched.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry. I guess you see this from Rory's point of view.
JESS: I understand your reasons, but I don't think it's right to make promises and break them. Especially to your daughter.
CHRISTOPHER: Fine. You'll talk to her?
JESS: Yes, I do occasionally talk to Rory.
CHRISTOPHER: I mean about...
JESS: We'll see.
CHRISTOPHER: I hope you work it out with your Dad.
JESS: That'll never happen.
CHRISTOPHER: I need her, Jess. Rory means everything to me.
JESS: I'll talk to her.
CHRISTOPHER: Thank you.
[CHRISTOPHER rides off and JESS goes back inside to find a worried RORY waiting anxiously by the door.]
RORY: I don't see blood, that's a good sign.
JESS: I'm fine. But I need to talk to you later.
RORY: Okay.
LORELAI'S ROOM
[LUKE is sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. LORELAI walks in and stands in the doorway. LUKE doesn't look up but he knows she's there.]
LUKE: Why aren't you with him?
LORELAI: It's not him I want.
LUKE: Lorelai, I've watched you for years. It's always been Christopher.
LORELAI: [nonchalantly] Well, for years I've never had you. Now I do.
[Silence.]
LORELAI: [desperate] He kissed me. It meant nothing.
LUKE: [coldly] I find that hard to believe.
LORELAI: It meant nothing. Would I lie?
LUKE: Do you really want me to answer that?
LORELAI: Would I lie about that?
LUKE: [reluctant] No.
[LORELAI closes and locks the door then walks over and stands in front of LUKE.]
LORELAI: It meant nothing.
[LUKE looks into her eyes, wanting to believe her.]
LORELAI: Nothing.
[LORELAI tips her head down and captures LUKE'S lips in hers. She pushed him down onto the bed and the kiss becomes more heated, then the clothes fly.]
LIVING ROOM
[RORY, JESS and EMILY are sitting.]
EMILY: How's Christopher?
RORY: He's fine.
EMILY: That's good. How's... that girl?
RORY: Still pregnant.
EMILY: I should have been your mother having his child.
RORY: She did.
EMILY: His other child.
RORY: He asked her to marry him, again.
EMILY: And she said no as always.
RORY: She'll always say no to him.
EMILY: It wouldn't hurt her to at least try it out?
[Silence.]
RORY: Guess third time isn't a charm.
EMILY: Hmm?
RORY: Dad's asked her to marry her three times.
EMILY: Three?
RORY: Oops.
EMILY: Three?
RORY: When he came down to Stars Hollow and his parents came to visit.
EMILY: Ahh.
RORY: She said no.
EMILY: Obviously. [pause] Luke's good for her?
RORY: Luke's good for her.
[EMILY looks at RORY and JESS. RORY'S hand is entwined in JESS'S and resting on RORY'S lap.]
EMILY: [to RORY] Are you happy?
RORY: Yes.
EMILY: [to JESS] We have the highest hopes for Rory. She will graduate at the top of her class, she will attend Harvard, and she will be successful. If you, in any way, distract her and she doesn't achieve these heights I will personally-
JESS: Yeah, I got it. I'll die a million deaths.
EMILY: Okay. Good. Well, I'll just go check on your Mom and Luke.
[EMILY goes upstairs and runs into LUKE and LORELAI emerging from LORELAI'S room, their clothes and hair a mess.]
EMILY: I assume you're heading home, now?
LORELAI: I guess.
EMILY: I'm sorry about Christopher.
LORELAI: Mom, just so you know, me and Christopher, we'll-
EMILY: I know.
LOREALI: Good. I'm really happy with Luke.
[LORELAI pulls LUKE closer to prove her point.]
EMILY: I know. [pause] Goodbye.
LUKE: Goodbye.
LORELAI: Night, Mom.
GILMORE HOUSE
[LOREALI and RORY walk into the house and fall onto the couch.]
LORELAI: Wow.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: I didn't think he'd just show up.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Caught us all off guard.
RORY: Yup. [pause] You and Luke?
LORELAI: We're good.
RORY: [smiling] good.
[LORELAI sits up and faces RORY.]
LORELAI: Look, honey, about your Dad and me... I'm sorry. I know how much you've always wanted us together and-
RORY: I know. It's okay, though. You and Luke are happy right?
LORELAI: Right.
RORY: And I'm happy that you and Luke are happy.
LORELAI: Good.
RORY: And Luke's liked you for a really, really long time.
LORELAI: So I've been told.
RORY: It just fits. I'll always want you, me, and Dad to be a family, but Luke's good too. And Luke's always been a part of this family so it's about time he had a more active role.
LORELAI: Really?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Me and Christopher are never getting together.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: And you're okay with that?
RORY: I'm okay with Luke.
LORELAI: Good.
RORY: Good.
LORELAI: Long night.
RORY: The longest.
LORELAI: Besides the time we stayed up all night, that was long.
RORY: And the time when were got lost coming back from New York.
LORELAI: And the time that I birthed you.
RORY: That *was* a long night.
LORELAI: You don't remember that night.
RORY: [smirking] Oh, I remember. I remember everything.
LORELAI: Ahh, I passed my knowing-of-all skills to you, didn't I?
RORY: And you thought you were the only one with the power.
LORELAI: Night babe.
RORY: Night mom.
[They hug and go off to their respective rooms.]
KIM RESIDENCE
[DAVE walks in and finds LANE sitting on the stairs waiting.]
DAVE: Hi.
LANE: Hi. [yelling] Mama, Dave's here!
[MRS. KIM walks in and looks DAVE over.]
MRS. KIM: Dave Rygalski?
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
[DAVE shakes MRS. KIM'S hand.]
DAVE: It's very nice to meet you.
MRS. KIM: I do not approve of you.
DAVE: My intentions are nothing but honourable.
MRS. KIM: You have no intentions with Lane. You go to kitchen, finish homework, then leave. Clear?
DAVE: [nervous] Clear.
[LANE leads DAVE to kitchen and they sit down at the table.]
LANE: [whispering] Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
DAVE: It's okay. We should get working, though.
LANE: [louder] Yes. Work. I wonder if Mozart believed in God?
DAVE: [loud and staged] Yes, I believe he did. I, too, believe in God.
LANE: Really? God is good.
DAVE: I agree. I even brought my bible with me.
[DAVE puts the bible on the table. MRS. KIM walks in and picks up the bible.]
MRS. KIM: What is this?
DAVE: My bible.
MRS. KIM: Your bible?
DAVE: Yes, my bible. I take it everywhere.
MRS. KIM: You religious?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Attend church every Sunday?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: How come I never see you?
DAVE: We go to Church in Hartford. My parents are loyal to the minister.
MRS. KIM: Every Sunday?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: No skip?
DAVE: No.
MRS. KIM: Good.
LANE: Mama?
MRS. KIM: Yes, Lane?
LANE: Dave's parents will be out of town this weekend and I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, he could attend church with us?
MRS. KIM: Dave sit with us at church?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: He is a boy.
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: A non-Korean boy. Probably not a doctor. [to DAVE] You doctor?
DAVE: No, not yet.
MRS. KIM: You plan to be doctor?
DAVE: [overly enthusiastic] Yes.
MRS. KIM: You come to Church. Sit away from Lane.
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
MRS. KIM: Finish work then go.
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
LUKE'S DINER
[RORY and LANE are at a table.]
RORY: So, he's going to church with you?
LANE: Yes.
RORY: Wow.
LANE: I know!
RORY: I think Mrs. Kim is going soft.
LANE: Don't jinx!
RORY: Sorry.
LANE: I'll give it a month before I ask Mama if I can see Dave in public. As friends.
RORY: And in that time?
LANE: He will have to attend many church functions, study the bible and buy many antiques from the shop.
RORY: And he's willing to do all this?
LANE: I haven't quite discussed it with him yet.
RORY: You should.
LANE: You're so lucky not having to do all this with your mother.
RORY: She wasn't happy with Jess in the beginning.
LANE: But she's warmed up to him.
RORY: She has.
LANE: I haven't said it before, even though I should have. But I'm happy for you.
RORY: Lane?
LANE: No, really. You found Jess, a guy who really likes you, and you really like him, and I'm happy for you.
RORY: Thanks. [pause] I hate to ditch, but-
LANE: Meet Jess?
RORY: Meet Jess.
LANE: Bye!
RORY: Bye!
BRIDGE
[RORY and JESS are sitting on the bridge. RORY is leaning against JESS who is propped up on his arms.]
JESS: I talked with you Dad.
RORY: Oh, no.
JESS: We calmed down after you left.
RORY: And?
JESS: And, you should call him.
RORY: What?
JESS: [slowly] Call him.
RORY: I know what you said. [pause] He set you up to this, didn't he?
JESS: Yeah, he did. But it doesn't mean that he's wrong. Rory, you should talk to him.
RORY: I need to cool down.
JESS: You can't use that excuse forever.
RORY: It's hard. He hurt me.
JESS: I know. But he wants to make it up to you.
RORY: What do you think?
JESS: I think you should call him.
RORY: Personal experience?
JESS: Not really. But if my Dad came back and if I stopped being pissed off at him, I'd give him a second chance.
RORY: [sighing] Okay.
JESS: You'll call?
RORY: [giving in] I'll call.
JESS: [smiling] Good. Now that that's out of the way.
[JESS leans down and pulls RORY into a kiss.]
LATER-GILMORE HOUSE
[RORY is sitting on her bed looking at the cordless phone in her hand. She sighs and dials the number.]
CHRISTOPHER: Hello?
RORY: Hi.
CHRISTOPHER: [surprised] You called.
RORY: I did. [pause] I'm sorry.
CHRISTOPHER: Me too. [pause] So, how's school?
RORY: [smiling] Well, Paris is Paris. And this whole student government gave her a whole new level to play on so my life at school is a living hell no matter where I go, but my grades are good.. [trailing off]
[END]
Title: Look Who's Crazy Now
Author: mocha-queen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All of it belongs to those whose names appear on screen.
Spoilers: General season 2 and parts of season 3. I just took a few things because I accidentally incorporated them later. Takes place in season 3. Dave is here.
Summary: Christopher returns and causes problems; Lane tries to find a way to deal with her Mom and Dave.
Author Notes: This fic is basically my idea season 3, so it's a rewrite of GG season 3 and most of the TV stuff hasn't really happened unless I've incorporated it. But I ran into a problem when I put Dave in, when he wasn't really supposed to be there. So, let's just pretend that Dave came in like he did in the show.
Thank you to all of you who have feedbacked. It means so much. And if you haven't sent feedback, please do! Again, all ideas for what else should happen are welcome.
Woo hoo! More! I have major plans for this now. I'm going to put major spoilers in it later, but for now, nothing more than general GG. I'm also going to see what I can do about a prequel type thing to this, taking place during the summer after "I Can't Get Started" up to "Beauty and the Beast."
(Shameless plug, go read my other fic, "Let's Dance.")
And last but certainly not least... I'm starting a Jess archive called "the Jess Situation." This archive will carry all pairings, ratings, and everything else Jess. It's not up yet, but Jewls and I are collecting fic. More like Jewls is collecting fic because I'm pregnant and she has more time to organize this stuff. So, if you would like to have your work posted, please let one of us know. And check out her stuff, under the name Jewls13, while you're at it. She's a great writer. ( http://www.fanfiction.ws/profile.php?userid=133821 )
Okay, I think that's it. Phew! Long AN. Possibly the longest.. and look, still going. Stopping now.
****
GILMORE LIVINGROOM
[LORELAI and RORY are sitting on the couch watching a blank TV screen.]
RORY: So what are we doing?
LORELAI: Shhh...
[Silence.]
RORY: Again, what are we doing here?
LORELAI: Shhh...
[Silence.]
RORY: [annoyed] Mom...
[LORELAI looks at her watch.]
LORELAI: Wait for it.
[The TV automatically turns on. John Stewart's "the Daily Show" is playing.]
RORY: This is what we were waiting for?
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: You couldn't just turn on the TV by yourself?
LORELAI: Nope.
RORY: [sighs] Okay.
LORELAI: Well, you know how we always miss "the Daily Show"?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: Well, now the TV will automatically turn on when it's time to watch "the Daily Show."
RORY: And if we're not home?
LORELAI: Then the sofa can watch the Daily Show.
RORY: Mom...
LORELAI: Fine, fine, I'll turn it off.
[LORELAI turns off the TV and looks at RORY. The phone rings and neither of them move.]
LORELAI: Let the machine get it.
RORY: We're sitting right here. The phone is a foot away from us on the table.
LORELAI: Let the machine get it.
RORY: But what if it's really important?
LORELAI: Then they'll leave a message.
RORY: But-
[The phone stops ringing and the message comes on. Then the BEEP.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, Rory, hi. It's Chris. I guess you're out now, so I'll just leave a message. I miss you guys. I'm sorry about everything, I never meant for it to turn out like this. I just- call me back, okay? Bye.
[Another BEEP when CHRISTOPHER is done. RORY and LORELAI look blankly at the phone.]
RORY: [whispering] Dad.
LORELAI: Yeah.
RORY: Wow.
LORELAI: Yeah.
[Silence.]
LORELAI: Have you talked to him at all since...
[RORY shakes her head.]
LORELAI: It's been like seven months.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Are you not talking to him for me?
RORY: [shocked] What?
LORELAI: He left, it hurt, but I don't want you cutting yourself off from your father because of something that happened between him and me.
RORY: [confident] It's not you.
LORELAI: Then why haven't you talked to him?
RORY: [crying] He promised me. He promised that it would last. I made it perfectly clear to him that this was his last chance and he couldn't screw it up.
LORELAI: [continuing] Instead he screwed Sherri.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Honey, I know you're mad, and you have every right to be...
RORY: But?
LORELAI: But you have to talk to him sometime. He's your father, he loves you.
RORY: And I love him but he hurt me, he hurt you. He hurt us.
LORELAI: I know. It sucks, but you have to talk to him eventually. We're going to have to talk to him, Sherri and their kid. I mean, you're going to be a sister.
RORY: Wow. I never thought about having a sibling. It's always been just me and you.
LORELAI: It will always be just me and you.
RORY: [freaking out] Yeah, but... I'll have a brother or sister soon and I'll have to be their sister and... I don't know how to be a sister!
LORELAI: Rory, honey, calm down. You're not going to be a full time sister. That kid will be living with Chris and Sherri in Boston, you'll have weekend visits. You'll be the cool sister Rory, you'll get to spoil them rotten, give them candy so their teeth fall out and really piss off Sherri.
RORY: [smiling] I like that.
LORELAI: No one's going to force you to be apart of their lives, but Rory-
RORY: I know. I still have to talk to Dad.
LORELAI: Yeah.
KIM RESIDENCE
[LANE and RORY are in the closet.]
LANE: You going to call him back?
RORY: I should, I mean, he is my Dad.
LANE: You should call him.
RORY: I will... eventually. [pause] So, how are you and Dave?
LANE: [smiling] Really good.
RORY: Found a way around Mrs. Kim yet?
LANE: [shakes her head] No. [pause] I really like Dave.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I've never liked a boy like this. Ever.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I want to be able to date him without worrying about my mother.
RORY: I know.
LANE: I need to find a way for Mama to like him, approve of him, despite his non-Korean status, and let me date him.
RORY: Good luck with that.
LANE: Thanks. Any ideas?
RORY: Giving Dave plastic surgery becomes more and more appealing each day, doesn't it?
LANE: Sadly, yes. But I need a better idea because I like Dave just the way he is.
RORY: Maybe you should just talk to Mrs. Kim.
LANE: Look who went crazy!
RORY: I'm serious.
LANE: You've met Mrs. Kim, right?
RORY: She probably would have let you go out with Henry if you told her.
LANE: He was Korean!
RORY: Just talk to her.
LANE: Talk to Mrs. Kim about a non-Korean boy? Seriously, Rory, you're even crazier than your mother.
RORY: Lane, you're running out of options. You need to talk to her.
LANE: I know.
RORY: Maybe invite Dave over. Make her like him and.
LANE: And you're crazy again!
RORY: Why is that so crazy?
LANE: Invite a non-Korean boy over in front of Mrs. Kim? Sounds crazy.
RORY: Lane...
LANE: I know. I'll talk to her.
NEXT DAY-LUKE'S DINER
[LORELAI and RORY walk in. LUKE is manning the diner.]
LORELAI: [laughing] So I said to Michel, get your ass up off that chair and gimme a hand!
RORY: I still don't see the funny.
LORELAI: [giving up] Ah, your loss.
[RORY looks at LUKE and points upstairs.]
RORY: Luke?
LUKE: Yeah, yeah, go. Tell him he needs to fix the toaster, too.
RORY: Okay.
[RORY runs up stairs. LORELAI leans over the counter and kisses LUKE square on the lips.]
LUKE: You know how I feel about public displays of affection.
[TAYLOR walks in and stops at the door. LORELAI kisses LUKE again.]
TAYLOR: Luke! I need you to sign these forms! All storeowners have to sign them, agreeing to the new storefront policy.
[LORELAI and LUKE are still kissing.]
TAYLOR: [yelling] Luke! LUKE! We need to make sure that there are no obscene objects in store windows.
[LORELAI and LUKE continue kissing.]
TAYLOR: [raging] LUKE! Listen to me! This is important and I have everyone's signature but yours! [pause] Fine! Be that way! Come find me when you're finished.
[TAYLOR leaves. LORELAI and LUKE break apart.]
LUKE: Now that was funny.
[LUKE kisses LORELAI again.]
UPSTAIRS
[RORY walks into the apartment as JESS walks out of the bathroom, after his shower, with a towel around his waist.]
JESS: Hey.
RORY: [embarrassed] Sorry-I should have knocked first, I didn't know-
[JESS cuts her off with a kiss.]
RORY: [breathless] Hi.
JESS: Hey. Just lemme put some clothes on and we'll go do something, kay?
[RORY nods and JESS goes to change. RORY picks up a book and reads while she waits. JESS comes out a few minutes later, fully clothed, and sits beside RORY and reads over her shoulder.]
JESS: Good book?
RORY: You tell me. Judging by your margin notes, I'd say you've read this many times.
JESS: Good book.
RORY: [smiles] Good.
[RORY goes back to reading. JESS starts kissing RORY'S neck. RORY tries to pay attention to the book but JESS is very distracting, she forgoes the book and leans back so he can play.]
RORY: mmm.
JESS: You like?
RORY: [smiling] I definitely like.
[LUKE stomps up the stairs and throws open the door, RORY and JESS quickly separate.]
LUKE: What the hell is going on here? Wait, you know what? I don't want to know. Jess, downstairs now.
JESS: [shrugs] Fine.
[JESS goes to the door.]
LUKE: Rory, your mom wants to talk to you.
RORY: Okay.
[RORY follows JESS out the door, he drapes an arm over her shoulder and pulls her close. They run into LORELAI on the stairs.]
LORELAI: [smiling] My turn.
RORY: Ew, gross.
LORELAI: Just kidding.
RORY: Still gross.
LORELAI: Grandma wants us to bring the guys to dinner tomorrow.
RORY: She already met them.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: And she wants to see them again?
LORELAI: That's what she implied over the phone.
RORY: Why does she want to see them again?
LORELAI: Hon, you're guess is as good as mine. Now, be a good little girl and wait out in the car for mommy.
RORY: What are you going to do?
LORELAI: [smiling wickedly] Say goodbye to Luke.
RORY: Gross.
[JESS and RORY continue down the stairs while LORELAI runs up.]
KIM RESIDENCE
[LANE comes down the stairs.]
LANE: Mama?
MRS. KIM: Kitchen!
[LANE walks into the kitchen, MRS. KIM is making tea.]
MRS. KIM: Tea?
LANE: No thank you. Mama, I need to talk to you.
MRS. KIM: You talk right now.
LANE: Yes, and I would like to continue talking.
MRS. KIM: Hurry up, then. I have customers.
LANE: I was...
MRS. KIM: Yes?
LANE: I was wondering if... [quickly] I could go see Rory?
MRS. KIM: No, you must finish your homework.
LANE: Mama, it's done.
MRS. KIM: No, you cannot see Rory, anything else?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Make it quick.
LANE: I... I want to invite a friend from school. We have a project we need to work on.
MRS. KIM: Who is this friend from school?
LANE: His name is Dave Rygalski.
MRS. KIM: Doesn't sound Korean.
LANE: He's not.
MRS. KIM: No. Can't work with non-Korean boy.
LANE: It's a school project.
MRS. KIM: What project?
LANE: It's on music.
MRS. KIM: No. You can't work on project either.
LANE: It's history!
MRS. KIM: You said music.
LANE: Classical music. We have to research composers and their pieces.
MRS. KIM: Classical music?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: You stay in kitchen, your eye stay on work. No talking about anything but school.
LANE: Yes, Mama.
GILMORE HOUSE
[RORY is in her room getting ready to go to dinner and talking on the phone with LANE.]
RORY: So you're going to do extra work on classical music composers just to hang out with Dave?
LANE: Yes.
RORY: [skeptical] Okay.
LANE: No, it'll be perfect.
RORY: [sighing] Explain.
LANE: I know Mama said that we can only talk about school...
RORY: But?
LANE: But what if we get into a discussion about God?
RORY: Continue.
LANE: If Mama hears that Dave worships God and that he's very strong on religion, she'll like him, and she'll let me like him. And I'll get to date Dave Rygalski without him dying a painful death from my mother!
RORY: Well, that was well thought out.
LANE: Spur of the moment when I couldn't actually tell Mama about Dave.
RORY: Very good thinking.
[The doorbell rings.]
LORELAI: [from the hall] Ror, the guys are here!
RORY: [to LORELAI] Coming! [to LANE] I gotta go. Friday night dinner with the guys.
LANE: Yeah, good luck with that.
RORY: Good luck with you and Dave.
LANE: Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow after he leaves.
RORY: You better.
LANE: Bye.
RORY: Bye.
[RORY hangs up the phone and hops off the bed to meet JESS. RORY jumps into his arms.]
RORY: Hey.
JESS: Hey.
[They kiss. LORELAI and LUKE are kissing but pull away.]
LORELAI: Awww, now let's go.
[RORY and JESS follow LUKE and LORELAI to the car and they drive off.]
ELDER GILMORE HOUSE-OUTSIDE
[RORY, JESS, LUKE and LORELAI are standing outside the door.]
LORELAI: [to RORY] You ring it.
RORY: [to LORELAI] No, you ring it.
LORELAI: [to JESS] You ring it.
JESS: [to LORELAI] No, you ring it.
[LORELAI looks at LUKE but before she can talk he rings the doorbell.]
LUKE: I'll ring it.
LORELAI: [pouting] Hey! You spoiled our fun.
LUKE: I'll make it up to you.
LORELAI: Yay! Junk food!
[EMILY answers the door.]
EMILY: Come in, come in. Richard won't be joining us tonight, he's stuck at the office.
LORELAI: Out with the secretary again, huh?
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: I was-
LUKE: [interrupting] Emily, nice to see you again.
EMILY: Yes, you too.
LORELAI: [continuing] I was just making a joke that-
RORY: Grandma, hi.
EMILY: Hello Rory, hello Jess.
JESS: Ma'am.
LORELAI: [continuing] I just meant that Dad was-
EMILY: Dinner is being served early.
RORY: Great, I'm starving.
LORELAI: [yelling] Hey! Dad's having an affair with his secretary!
EMILY: [horrified] Lorelai, don't say such a thing.
LORELAI: I wasn't-
EMILY: I don't care. It's rude to make vulgar comments about your father having an affair with his secretary!
[EMILY leads LUKE, JESS and RORY to the dinning room. LORELAI follows, slowly.]
LORELAI: [quietly, to herself] It was just a joke.
[They are all sitting around the table eating when the door bell rings.]
EMILY: Now, who on earth could that be?
[The maid opens the door and CHRISTOPHER walks in.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor-We need to talk.
[LORELAI is in shock, RORY looks like she's about to cry, JESS puts his arm around RORY, LUKE puts his hand over LORELAI'S, EMILY looks blankly at all of them.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai, we really need to talk.
LORELAI: Christopher, now is not the time.
CHRISTOPHER: Please.
[LORELAI gets up and leads him out the front door, not closing it completely.]
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: I miss you.
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: You never returned my phone calls.
LORELAI: Christopher, answer my question. What the hell are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: You've been avoiding me, I called the other day and you haven't called me back.
LORELAI: Maybe we were busy, not everything revolves around you. And what about the seven months of us not calling back? You didn't come and visit then.
CHRISTOPHER: Seven months?
LORELAI: Yes.
CHRISTOPHER: We haven't talked for seven months?
LORELAI: [coldly] You've talked.
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, Can we please-
LORELAI: Please? Please what, Chris? Please not do this? No. You came here, and we're going to have this conversation that's been seven months in the making.
CHRISTOPHER: If you're going to freak out over this, then maybe I don't want to talk to you.
LORELAI: Where the hell do you get off being so superior?
CHRISTOPHER: What?
LORELAI: You come here, I fall for you again, you promised me that this time it would be different. But most importantly, you promised your daughter that this would work.
CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai...
LORELAI: No! You promised Rory that this would work out, that we'd be a family. You promised her and you left. You broke her heart, Chris, and she's not just going to forgive you this time. You took it too far.
CHRISTOPHER: I never meant for this to happen.
LORELAI: No, you didn't mean for a lot of things to happen. You didn't mean to get me pregnant, you didn't mean to have Rory then, you didn't mean to not go to Princeton, you didn't mean to make promises you couldn't keep, or not come and visit Rory as much as either of you would have liked. You didn't mean to get Sherri pregnant and you didn't mean to break our hearts! But you did!
CHRISTOPHER: [sadly] I'm sorry.
LORELAI: [coldly] That doesn't change anything.
CHRISTOPHER: What do you want me to say? Lor, I'm out of ideas here, I don't know what more I can do.
LORELAI: You could start by saying why you're here.
CHRISTOPHER: I miss you. I miss Rory. I haven't seen Rory in seven months, apparently.
LORELAI: And whose fault is that?
CHRISTOPHER: Yours.
LORELAI: [taken back] Excuse me?
CHRISTOPHER: You're keeping Rory away from me.
LORELAI: Okay, you just crossed that line.
CHRISTOPHER: What line?
LORELAI: The line that's marked with neon flashing signs saying, "Do not cross!" Where the hell do you get off telling me that I'm keeping Rory away from you? I've never kept her away from you. You're her father and she needs you. I've never, ever kept her from you.
CHRISTOPHER: Really?
LORELAI: Really.
CHRISTOPHER: Then why hasn't she called? Written a letter? Stopped by?
LORELAI: Because she's mad!
CHRISTOPHER: I have a hard time believing this is just her.
LORELAI: It is just her. You promised her and you broke that promise. She banked everything on us, Chris, and you just left. You didn't even tell her yourself.
[The voices drift from the open door. RORY is shocked, listening to the conversation and when her name comes up, she gets up to defend LORELAI. JESS tries to hold her back but she goes. RORY appears at the door surprising both CHRISTOPHER and LOREAI.]
RORY: [coldly] Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: [softly] Rory, I missed you.
[CHRISTOPHER moves to hug RORY but she backs away to LORELAI.]
RORY: Mom had nothing to do with it.
CHRISTOPHER: You hate me that much not to talk to me?
RORY: I don't hate you.
CHRISTOPHER: Then why haven't you called? I haven't seen you, never the less heard from you in seven months!
RORY: It's hard, okay?
CHRISTOPHER: I know it's hard.
RORY: [yelling] No you don't! You're never around, you know nothing!
LORELAI: Honey, calm down.
RORY: [to LORELAI] No. He promised me he'd be here and he left. [to CHRISTOPHER] Dad, the one thing that I ever wanted from you was to be my dad and you promised me that you'd be there. You promised.
CHRISTOPHER: Ror, I'm sorry. But-
RORY: [angry] No! I don't care. You let us down, we were counting on you and you let us down!
CHRISTOPHER: [defensively] Some things came up.
RORY: [bitterly] Things always come up. [softly] But you know what sucked the most? Is you getting Mom to tell me.
CHRISTOPHER: Rory.
RORY: I don't want to see you right now.
CHRISTOPHER: [pleading] Rory!
LORELAI: Rory, honey, go inside.
[RORY looks sadly at CHRISTOPHER and LORELAI then goes inside.]
CHRISTOPHER: She hates me.
LORELAI: Give her time.
CHRISTOPHER: So, what now?
LORELAI: Chris, I want to know what you're doing here. And I know it's not just because you miss us.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, I'm sorry but things are just...
LORELAI: Just what?
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
LORELAI: Did you ever?
CHRISTOPHER: This is different. I've got a kid.
LORELAI: [sarcastic] And you didn't have one before?
CHRISTOPHER: That's not what I mean. I want to be apart of this child's life but I don't know how.
LORELAI: [sardonic] Eighteen years of practice.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know how you did it, raising Rory.
LORELAI: Maybe you would have if you were around.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm not sure if I want to do this.
LORELAI: What?
CHRISTOPHER: I don't know if I want this kid with Sherri.
LORELAI: A little late for that, Chris. You're out of options.
CHRISTOPHER: I know... I just don't know what to do.
LORELAI: You came here to ask me advice?
CHRISTOPHER: No. [pause] I came here because I want you back.
LORELAI: [completely sarcastic] Here's an idea, ask me to marry you, again!
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, marry me?
LORELAI: [dryly] Not funny, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: [serious] No, it's not.
LORELAI: What the hell are you doing? You have a kid on the way. With Sherri!
CHRISTOPHER: I know. But Lor, it's always been you. I still want you to be my wife.
LORELAI: [trying to remain calm] It's time for you to go, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: No, Lor, we need to talk about this.
LORELAI: You can't just randomly come back and ask me to marry you. And what about Sherri?
CHRISTOPHER: What about her?
LORELAI: Umm, she's carrying your child? You have to be with her, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't want this kid, Lor.
LORELAI: We didn't want Rory at the time and she's the best thing that ever happened to us!
CHRISTOPHER: [exasperated] I don't know what to do.
LORELAI: Go back to Sherri, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: But Lorelai, I want to be with you.
LORELAI: Chris, I can't. Not this time.
CHRISTOPHER: Why not?
[RORY comes back into the dinning room, crying, JESS tries to comfort her. EMILY has left. LUKE looks worried and decides to go out and rescue LORELAI.]
LORELAI: Because I'm-
[CHRISTOPHER kisses LORELAI just as LUKE walks out side. He backs up and hits the wall causing CHRISTOPHER and LORELAI to look at him.]
LORELAI: Luke, I-
LUKE: [sadly] Don't. Just go.
LORELAI: [cautious] What?
LUKE: You've always wanted to be with him, Lorelai. Just go.
LORELAI: [frantic] No! Luke!
[LUKE turns and goes inside.]
LORELAI: [coldly] Go home, Christopher.
[LORELAI runs in after LUKE. RORY and JESS look up.]
LORELAI: Christopher asked me to marry him.
RORY: You said no.
LORELAI: Then he kissed me and Luke saw.
RORY: Go talk to Luke.
LORELAI: I know you're mad, and I know it's a lot to ask but-
RORY: [nodding] I'll make sure he goes.
LORELAI: Thanks.
[LORELAI runs after LUKE. RORY goes outside and JESS follows, not wanting RORY to face CHRISTOPHER on her own.]
RORY: Dad, go home.
CHRISTOPHER: What was that about?
RORY: What was what about?
CHRISTOPHER: Your Mom and Luke.
RORY: Mom's happy.
CHRISTOPHER: She's with Luke?
RORY: Yes and she's happy.
CHRISTOPHER: I asked her to marry me.
RORY: You can't keep doing that. She's not going to change her mind.
CHRISTOPHER: I noticed.
RORY: I think you should leave.
CHRISTOPHER: Ror, I think we should talk.
RORY: [crying] I don't want to talk right now. I don't want to be standing in front of you right now, but Mom has to fix things with Luke.
CHRISTOPHER: [pleading] Rory, please.
RORY: Dad, no! Not now.
JESS: [coldly] I think you should go now.
CHRISTOPHER: Who are you?
RORY: Dad this is Jess.
CHRISTOPHER: Jess... Jess, why does that sound familiar? [pause] Right, he broke your arm.
RORY: [warning] Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: You know, I never get to chew him out.
RORY: [angry] Dad.
JESS: I can take it.
RORY: [pleading] Jess.
CHRISTOPHER: You hurt her.
RORY: It's over, let's just forget about it.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: What are you doing here?
JESS: I could ask you the same question.
RORY: [worried] Hey, guys, can we please stop?
CHRISTOPHER: I came to see my daughter.
JESS: Seems to be the trend.
RORY: [anxious] Guys?
CHRISTOPHER: And what are you doing here?
JESS: Seeing your daughter.
RORY: [softly] Please?
CHRISTOPHER: Are you dating her?
JESS: Define dating.
CHRISTOPHER: Smart ass, huh?
JESS: From what I'm told, you are too.
CHRISTOPHER: We seem to have a lot in common.
JESS: Yet, nothing at all.
CHRISTOPHER: [snapping] What do you mean by that?
RORY: [pleading] Jess, Dad, please stop.
JESS: I don't go around breaking promises.
CHRISTOPHER: Stay out of my business kid, you have no idea.
JESS: I know enough.
RORY: [yelling] STOP!
CHRISTOPHER: Rory, honey, go inside. I want to have a talk with Jess.
RORY: No way, I'm not leaving so you can mangle him.
CHRISTOPHER: I'll be nice.
RORY: [sharply] No!
JESS: Rory, please. I'll take care of it.
RORY: [worried] Jess?
[JESS pulls RORY into his arms and kisses her.]
JESS: Don't worry about it.
[RORY reluctantly leaves JESS and CHRISTOPHER alone.]
JESS: Nice bike.
CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, you got one?
JESS: No. Got a car.
[CHRISTOPHER points to the one behind the jeep.]
CHRISTOPHER: Yours?
JESS: Yeah.
CHRISTOPHER: Good car?
JESS: Gets me where I want to go.
CHRISTOPHER: Don't take Rory in it.
JESS: What?
CHRISTOPHER: The car's crap.
JESS: Whatever, man.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: What happened to Dean?
JESS: He's sulking around Stars Hollow somewhere.
CHRISTOPHER: I mean Dean and Rory.
JESS: They broke up.
CHRISTOPHER: I bet you swept right in to take advantage of her.
JESS: Who the hell do you think I am?
CHRISTOPHER: I think you're the guy who hurt my daughter.
JESS: I'm not going to hurt her again.
[Silence.]
CHRISTOPHER: If you hurt her, I will kill you.
JESS: Get in line.
CHRISTOPHER: I should go.
JESS: You never should have come.
CHRISTOPHER: Rory needs her father.
JESS: She has one.
CHRISTOPHER: What?
JESS: Luke. In case you haven't noticed, Luke's taken more responsibility for her than you ever have.
CHRISTOPHER: Where are you getting this?
JESS: Rory's told me a lot. Besides, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.
CHRISTOPHER: I miss her.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: I still want to kill you.
JESS: I know.
CHRISTOPHER: But Rory likes you.
JESS: I have no idea why.
CHRISTOPHER: My threat still stands, hurt her and die.
JESS: Lorelai has first dibs.
CHRISTOPHER: Do me a favour?
JESS: [cautious] I don't know.
CHRISTOPHER: Talk to Rory.
JESS: Let her calm down.
CHRISTOPHER: Please?
JESS: I'll try.
CHRISTOPHER: You on good terms with your Dad?
JESS: No. He ditched.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry. I guess you see this from Rory's point of view.
JESS: I understand your reasons, but I don't think it's right to make promises and break them. Especially to your daughter.
CHRISTOPHER: Fine. You'll talk to her?
JESS: Yes, I do occasionally talk to Rory.
CHRISTOPHER: I mean about...
JESS: We'll see.
CHRISTOPHER: I hope you work it out with your Dad.
JESS: That'll never happen.
CHRISTOPHER: I need her, Jess. Rory means everything to me.
JESS: I'll talk to her.
CHRISTOPHER: Thank you.
[CHRISTOPHER rides off and JESS goes back inside to find a worried RORY waiting anxiously by the door.]
RORY: I don't see blood, that's a good sign.
JESS: I'm fine. But I need to talk to you later.
RORY: Okay.
LORELAI'S ROOM
[LUKE is sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. LORELAI walks in and stands in the doorway. LUKE doesn't look up but he knows she's there.]
LUKE: Why aren't you with him?
LORELAI: It's not him I want.
LUKE: Lorelai, I've watched you for years. It's always been Christopher.
LORELAI: [nonchalantly] Well, for years I've never had you. Now I do.
[Silence.]
LORELAI: [desperate] He kissed me. It meant nothing.
LUKE: [coldly] I find that hard to believe.
LORELAI: It meant nothing. Would I lie?
LUKE: Do you really want me to answer that?
LORELAI: Would I lie about that?
LUKE: [reluctant] No.
[LORELAI closes and locks the door then walks over and stands in front of LUKE.]
LORELAI: It meant nothing.
[LUKE looks into her eyes, wanting to believe her.]
LORELAI: Nothing.
[LORELAI tips her head down and captures LUKE'S lips in hers. She pushed him down onto the bed and the kiss becomes more heated, then the clothes fly.]
LIVING ROOM
[RORY, JESS and EMILY are sitting.]
EMILY: How's Christopher?
RORY: He's fine.
EMILY: That's good. How's... that girl?
RORY: Still pregnant.
EMILY: I should have been your mother having his child.
RORY: She did.
EMILY: His other child.
RORY: He asked her to marry him, again.
EMILY: And she said no as always.
RORY: She'll always say no to him.
EMILY: It wouldn't hurt her to at least try it out?
[Silence.]
RORY: Guess third time isn't a charm.
EMILY: Hmm?
RORY: Dad's asked her to marry her three times.
EMILY: Three?
RORY: Oops.
EMILY: Three?
RORY: When he came down to Stars Hollow and his parents came to visit.
EMILY: Ahh.
RORY: She said no.
EMILY: Obviously. [pause] Luke's good for her?
RORY: Luke's good for her.
[EMILY looks at RORY and JESS. RORY'S hand is entwined in JESS'S and resting on RORY'S lap.]
EMILY: [to RORY] Are you happy?
RORY: Yes.
EMILY: [to JESS] We have the highest hopes for Rory. She will graduate at the top of her class, she will attend Harvard, and she will be successful. If you, in any way, distract her and she doesn't achieve these heights I will personally-
JESS: Yeah, I got it. I'll die a million deaths.
EMILY: Okay. Good. Well, I'll just go check on your Mom and Luke.
[EMILY goes upstairs and runs into LUKE and LORELAI emerging from LORELAI'S room, their clothes and hair a mess.]
EMILY: I assume you're heading home, now?
LORELAI: I guess.
EMILY: I'm sorry about Christopher.
LORELAI: Mom, just so you know, me and Christopher, we'll-
EMILY: I know.
LOREALI: Good. I'm really happy with Luke.
[LORELAI pulls LUKE closer to prove her point.]
EMILY: I know. [pause] Goodbye.
LUKE: Goodbye.
LORELAI: Night, Mom.
GILMORE HOUSE
[LOREALI and RORY walk into the house and fall onto the couch.]
LORELAI: Wow.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: I didn't think he'd just show up.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Caught us all off guard.
RORY: Yup. [pause] You and Luke?
LORELAI: We're good.
RORY: [smiling] good.
[LORELAI sits up and faces RORY.]
LORELAI: Look, honey, about your Dad and me... I'm sorry. I know how much you've always wanted us together and-
RORY: I know. It's okay, though. You and Luke are happy right?
LORELAI: Right.
RORY: And I'm happy that you and Luke are happy.
LORELAI: Good.
RORY: And Luke's liked you for a really, really long time.
LORELAI: So I've been told.
RORY: It just fits. I'll always want you, me, and Dad to be a family, but Luke's good too. And Luke's always been a part of this family so it's about time he had a more active role.
LORELAI: Really?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Me and Christopher are never getting together.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: And you're okay with that?
RORY: I'm okay with Luke.
LORELAI: Good.
RORY: Good.
LORELAI: Long night.
RORY: The longest.
LORELAI: Besides the time we stayed up all night, that was long.
RORY: And the time when were got lost coming back from New York.
LORELAI: And the time that I birthed you.
RORY: That *was* a long night.
LORELAI: You don't remember that night.
RORY: [smirking] Oh, I remember. I remember everything.
LORELAI: Ahh, I passed my knowing-of-all skills to you, didn't I?
RORY: And you thought you were the only one with the power.
LORELAI: Night babe.
RORY: Night mom.
[They hug and go off to their respective rooms.]
KIM RESIDENCE
[DAVE walks in and finds LANE sitting on the stairs waiting.]
DAVE: Hi.
LANE: Hi. [yelling] Mama, Dave's here!
[MRS. KIM walks in and looks DAVE over.]
MRS. KIM: Dave Rygalski?
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
[DAVE shakes MRS. KIM'S hand.]
DAVE: It's very nice to meet you.
MRS. KIM: I do not approve of you.
DAVE: My intentions are nothing but honourable.
MRS. KIM: You have no intentions with Lane. You go to kitchen, finish homework, then leave. Clear?
DAVE: [nervous] Clear.
[LANE leads DAVE to kitchen and they sit down at the table.]
LANE: [whispering] Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
DAVE: It's okay. We should get working, though.
LANE: [louder] Yes. Work. I wonder if Mozart believed in God?
DAVE: [loud and staged] Yes, I believe he did. I, too, believe in God.
LANE: Really? God is good.
DAVE: I agree. I even brought my bible with me.
[DAVE puts the bible on the table. MRS. KIM walks in and picks up the bible.]
MRS. KIM: What is this?
DAVE: My bible.
MRS. KIM: Your bible?
DAVE: Yes, my bible. I take it everywhere.
MRS. KIM: You religious?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Attend church every Sunday?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: How come I never see you?
DAVE: We go to Church in Hartford. My parents are loyal to the minister.
MRS. KIM: Every Sunday?
DAVE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: No skip?
DAVE: No.
MRS. KIM: Good.
LANE: Mama?
MRS. KIM: Yes, Lane?
LANE: Dave's parents will be out of town this weekend and I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, he could attend church with us?
MRS. KIM: Dave sit with us at church?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: He is a boy.
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: A non-Korean boy. Probably not a doctor. [to DAVE] You doctor?
DAVE: No, not yet.
MRS. KIM: You plan to be doctor?
DAVE: [overly enthusiastic] Yes.
MRS. KIM: You come to Church. Sit away from Lane.
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
MRS. KIM: Finish work then go.
DAVE: Yes, ma'am.
LUKE'S DINER
[RORY and LANE are at a table.]
RORY: So, he's going to church with you?
LANE: Yes.
RORY: Wow.
LANE: I know!
RORY: I think Mrs. Kim is going soft.
LANE: Don't jinx!
RORY: Sorry.
LANE: I'll give it a month before I ask Mama if I can see Dave in public. As friends.
RORY: And in that time?
LANE: He will have to attend many church functions, study the bible and buy many antiques from the shop.
RORY: And he's willing to do all this?
LANE: I haven't quite discussed it with him yet.
RORY: You should.
LANE: You're so lucky not having to do all this with your mother.
RORY: She wasn't happy with Jess in the beginning.
LANE: But she's warmed up to him.
RORY: She has.
LANE: I haven't said it before, even though I should have. But I'm happy for you.
RORY: Lane?
LANE: No, really. You found Jess, a guy who really likes you, and you really like him, and I'm happy for you.
RORY: Thanks. [pause] I hate to ditch, but-
LANE: Meet Jess?
RORY: Meet Jess.
LANE: Bye!
RORY: Bye!
BRIDGE
[RORY and JESS are sitting on the bridge. RORY is leaning against JESS who is propped up on his arms.]
JESS: I talked with you Dad.
RORY: Oh, no.
JESS: We calmed down after you left.
RORY: And?
JESS: And, you should call him.
RORY: What?
JESS: [slowly] Call him.
RORY: I know what you said. [pause] He set you up to this, didn't he?
JESS: Yeah, he did. But it doesn't mean that he's wrong. Rory, you should talk to him.
RORY: I need to cool down.
JESS: You can't use that excuse forever.
RORY: It's hard. He hurt me.
JESS: I know. But he wants to make it up to you.
RORY: What do you think?
JESS: I think you should call him.
RORY: Personal experience?
JESS: Not really. But if my Dad came back and if I stopped being pissed off at him, I'd give him a second chance.
RORY: [sighing] Okay.
JESS: You'll call?
RORY: [giving in] I'll call.
JESS: [smiling] Good. Now that that's out of the way.
[JESS leans down and pulls RORY into a kiss.]
LATER-GILMORE HOUSE
[RORY is sitting on her bed looking at the cordless phone in her hand. She sighs and dials the number.]
CHRISTOPHER: Hello?
RORY: Hi.
CHRISTOPHER: [surprised] You called.
RORY: I did. [pause] I'm sorry.
CHRISTOPHER: Me too. [pause] So, how's school?
RORY: [smiling] Well, Paris is Paris. And this whole student government gave her a whole new level to play on so my life at school is a living hell no matter where I go, but my grades are good.. [trailing off]
[END]