Title: Linework

Rating: T, with mentions of M-rated themes

Pairing: JJ/Emily

A/N: First off... I am so, so sorry about how long it took for me to update this! I'm truly sorry about the delay. I've gotten a lot of PMs asking about the status of this fic, and I'd like to clarify that I do intend to see this story to the end, but I can't promise it will be fast. I've been living in the middle of Kyrgyzstan to do an intensive language program (feel free to PM me if you'd like to know more), so internet and free time are hard to come by. Between that, school, family/friendships/girlfriend, and training, life has been pretty crazy. However, I will be back in the US in about a month. I promise I'll finish this eventually, and thank you so much for your patience if you're still reading!

TW: Trigger warnings for the usual topics, as well as pregnancy and abortion in this chapter. As usual, it starts off light-hearted and descends into a pool of angst.

"Our bodies were printed as blank pages / to be filled with the ink of our hearts." - Michael Biondi

Knock knock.

Knock knock knock knock knock.

Emily Prentiss rolled over with a groan, burying her head deeper into the pillow. Was she still dreaming, what was that god-awful noise, and why the hell was it not stopping.

Knock knock knock. "Emily! Em, you there? You better be awake and not hungover, I told you I'd be here at 4:30am to pick you up!"

She groaned, running her fingers through her messily tied back hair and sinking further into the pillow. Emily briefly considered not answering, maybe even playing dead - if Sergei occasionally got out of a trip to the vet with that tactic, maybe she could too? - before she decided not to bail on JJ and get out of bed.

"The things I do for pretty girls," she muttered to herself before rolling out of bed with a thump and locating her phone and the nearest clothing items. She fumbled with her sweatpants in the dark and pulled a plain white tank top on as she padded down the hallway to the door.

Knock knock knock. "Em, are y-"

Emily threw the door open mid-knock, and JJ looked startled for a second before breaking out into a smile. "Hey, you! I was starting to think you forgot about our morning hike!"

"How could I ever forget about something scheduled for 4:30 in the morning?" Em asked sarcastically, rubbing her eyes with a large yawn before stepping aside to let JJ enter. The blonde was wearing a tight blue exercise tank top, bright green shorts, athletic shoes, and a wide smile that really should not have existed at that ungodly hour.

"We have to start early, Em, or we won't beat the Louisiana sun to the trail!" JJ informed her enthusiastically, dropping her small backpack onto Prentiss's kitchen table.

"If the sun beats us, do I get to go back to bed?" Emily half-asked, half-yawned. "If you're going to wake me up this early, the least you could do is bring co-"

"Coffee?" JJ prompted, raising the tray of two to-go coffee cups she had in her right hand. "You're not nearly as intimidating as you seem, but I still know better than to wake you up before noon without some sort of caffeinated or alcoholic peace offering."

"Smart choice, Jayj," Emily chuckled before accepting the drink and bringing the lid to her lips. JJ shot back a sassy wink, and the tattoo artist choked on her coffee a little bit at the flirtation so early in the morning.

JJ evidently didn't notice her reaction, as she was already across the room and pulling two water bottles out of her backpack. "Do you have a water bottle or canteen? It's okay if you don't, I brought an extra, but it only holds 24 ounces and I find it best to carry at least 36..."

"I'm sure 24 will be fine," Emily replied, watching with amusement as JJ flitted about her kitchen like a hummingbird on a sugar high.

"Alright," JJ said as she filled up both bottles in the sink. "Can I fill up this empty container on your counter? It's supposed to be pretty hot today and it is very important to stay hydrated."

Prentiss moved over to the sink and passed the empty water bottle to JJ, nodding her consent. "How did I not know you were such a hiking nerd, darlin'?" Em teased.

"First of all, I'm a hiking enthusiast... There's a difference," the blonde corrected with a pointed look. "And second, you'll understand why when we're on top of a mountain and watching the sunrise."

"Where the hell have you seen mountains in this state?"

JJ let out a deflated sigh. "Okay, fine, maybe it's more of a tall hill, but it'll be at the end of a fairly strenuous five mile trail and we can pretend we're on a mountain! See, Louisiana topography is like this..."

Emily stayed silent, lips curling into a smile, watching her ridiculous friend describe the state's landscape with barely understandable hand motions.

"Alright, alright, I'm excited, let's just go do this thing," Emily insisted with a small laugh.

"You are not excited. You're an awful liar, Prentiss. But you'll love this trail. And then you'll start liking mornings and exercise and we'll be hiking buddies!"

"Mmhmm... Don't push your luck," Emily called over her shoulder, retreating into her bedroom to put on a sports bra and sturdier shoes.

Twenty minutes later, the two women were pulling up to a small parking lot at the start of some sort of trail.

"Here we are," JJ announced, pulling into one of the spaces. She hit the parking brake and killed the engine, looking over at her companion with a warm smile. "Welcome to Quantico State Park."

Emily returned her smile, reaching out to touch JJ's hand briefly to express her gratitude. She loved teasing the blonde, but she really was happy to witness how JJ liked to spend her time. "Quantico State Park... I've never even heard of this place."

"Not many people know about it," JJ explained. "People generally stick to the trails that are right on the outskirts of New Orleans or Baton Rogue, and this trail isn't close to any notable bars or museums or restaurants." She downed the last of her coffee before tossing the cup back in the cup holder and popping the car door open.

"Leading me to an abandoned hiking trail while it's still dark out? I see how it is," Emily teased.

"This place is hardly abandoned," JJ replied with an eye roll. "But, I promise not to murder you and hide your body in the bushes unless you really irritate me."

"Thanks, you're real sweet," Emily said sarcastically. JJ tossed Emily a water bottle before slinging her bag over her back and starting towards the head of the trail. The sun was nowhere to be seen, but the lights from the city in the distance illuminated the trail sufficiently enough. With a shared smile, the two women stepped onto the path.

The hike began... interestingly, to say the least. Prentiss knew she was out of shape, but she wasn't expecting to be out of breath quite so quickly.

"Jayj, slow down!" Emily called out after a few minutes, putting her hand on the tree beside her for support as she tried to catch her breath. Dropping to sit on a nearby tree stump, she popped the cap off her canteen and downed a couple gulps.

"You're good, no rush," JJ told her reassuringly, taking the opportunity to re-tie one of her laces. "Sorry, I haven't hiked with anyone else in a long time."

"It's okay, sorry I'm such a slowpoke. Mornings and voluntary exercise are two things I haven't really done in the past decade."

"The beginning is the worst part," JJ said, nodding towards the trail ahead of them. "It starts off steep, but will taper off pretty soon."

"Well thank the ink gods for that," Emily muttered, but when JJ extended her hand, Em took it happily and let herself be hoisted up.

"We'll keep it slow, and you tell me whenever you want to take a break, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

To JJ's credit, the hike actually did get easier from there. After another twenty minutes or so, the trail's incline leveled out a lot, and the caffeine was starting to enter Emily's bloodstream. Once her body got moving, she felt less like a mummified corpse and more like a functional human being.

She was starting to sweat a little bit, and although she wouldn't admit it to JJ any time soon, it felt pretty good.

It was still dark out, but the beauty of their environment did not go completely unappreciated. Gorgeous trees dotted with white flowers swept skyward alongside their hiking trail, and at one point, she paused to observe them as best she could in the dim light.

"Those are southern magnolia trees," JJ explained, stepping beside Emily to admire the wildlife. She reached out and stroked one of the flowers delicately, her bare shoulder brushing up against Emily's. "This is Louisiana's state flower."

Em nodded lightly, watching as JJ ran her thumb along the light petals. "You know this state really well," she observed.

The blonde just shrugged. "I've lived here all my life. It's always been home."

The pair kept trekking up the trail, their path just wide enough to walk side by side.

"Have you ever been anywhere else?" she asked, realizing that she didn't know very much about JJ's childhood.

"Not really," the blonde replied. "I go to other states for work occasionally. Went to Canada once with my family. That's it, though."

Emily thought for a moment before speaking. "Traveling is great," she began, taking a sip of water as they continued along their path. "And I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to see so many places when I was growing up. And again with the military, I guess. But I've always wondered what it'd be like to really call some place home."

"I can't imagine living anywhere else," JJ admitted. "I do want to see other countries - the world's big and I've seen next to nothing of it - but I wouldn't even know where to start."

Emily looked out towards the horizon. They had come at least a mile or two, and the first hints of orange were beginning to tint the dark sky. "It doesn't really matter where you start, honestly. Even if you have the perfect image in your head of what you want to see, or of what you're planning to explore, you'll end up discovering something completely different. That's what makes traveling interesting. It's impossible to really know what you're getting into until you're neck deep in it all."

"Yeah, that sounds terrifying," JJ said with a laugh. "I'll leave the crazy Russian babushka stories to you."

"So maybe don't hit up Moscow on your very first trip out of the country," Emily giggled back. "But whenever you do take your first non-Canada excursion out of the US, let me know."

"Thanks, Em. I had no idea I'd also be getting a travel guide out of the BAU... You guys are just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"You haven't even seen the worst," Emily replied with a mischievous grin. "Speaking of the BAU, though - how's your outline healing up? It's been over two weeks, it should be pretty close to healed at this point."

"It's looking pretty good," JJ told her, touching her rib cage fondly through her shirt. It's still a little tender and raised, but the skin looks good as new. Better than new, actually."

A flood of slightly embarrassed warmth flooded through Emily's body, starting at her fingertips and ending somewhere in the pit of her stomach. Whenever the topic of her tattoo came up, JJ instinctively reached for her torso and looked... at peace, almost. The knowledge that she had been able to contribute something positive to JJ's life meant more than she was able to express.

"I'm glad you like it," the brunette said sincerely.

"'Like' doesn't even to describe it, Em. Every time I look at it, I find myself a little more astounded that you were able to create something so beautiful with just a tat machine and some black ink."

Emily was happy that the physical exertion of the hike was likely hiding the redness of her cheeks. "You flatter me, sweetheart. But it's healed enough to start on the coloring, so you'll let me know when you're ready, yeah?"

"Will do," JJ confirmed. "Honestly, if it's this breathtaking as just an outline, I can't imagine what it'll look like when it's all colored in. I might just never put my shirt back on."

I wouldn't mind that, the artist thought, biting her tongue to keep the words from flying out of her mouth. Prentiss. Chill.

"Well, I hope you'll love it just as much as the outline," Emily said instead. "Linework is the most important part of any tattoo - it's the basis of everything, and it can turn otherwise impressive artwork into a shitty tat - but the color and shading is really what makes a piece pop."

"If it's anywhere near as gorgeous as what you sketched," JJ said, loosening the straps of her backpack a little bit, "there's no doubt I won't be absolutely floored by it."

Emily just laughed. "Well, let's glance at the drawing and confirm you like the color choices once more before your next session."

"You got it, boss. Oh hey, over here." JJ veered off to the left, softly pulling Emily onto a tinier offshoot of the main path.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked, confused. "We haven't gotten to the end of the trail yet."

"No, we haven't. But the sun will be rising any minute now, and this little path runs up to the highest point in the park."

Emily followed close behind the blonde, the path too narrow for them to walk next to each other. Climbing over a few fallen trees and big boulders blocking their path, they eventually stepped into a clearing with an open view over the park.

"Here we are," JJ said with a large smile.

Emily was taken aback when she stepped out onto the ledge and surveyed the land around here. She could make out the outskirts of New Orleans far in the distance, but everything in between them and the city were rolling waves of greenery and wildlife. A small creek she didn't know existed divided the landscape in two, and the first full rays of sunlight cast ripples of vibrant color through the awakening sky.

"Jayj, this is beautiful," she said, her voice still soft with amazement.

"It's prettiest during the sunrise," the blonde replied, setting her backpack down and unzipping the top to remove its contents. "I mean, it's always pretty, but no one's ever here this early, and it's nice seeing the city asleep for once."

Emily shook her head. "I had no idea there were views like this here. New Orleans is known for a lot of things, but the landscape is not one of them."

"You can find beauty anywhere and in anything," JJ said softly. "Sometimes, you just need to have your eyes open." Emily glanced back at JJ, and their eyes connected for a few heartbeats before the blonde turned towards her backpack again.

"Help me lay this out?" she asked, pulling a tightly-rolled picnic blanket out of her backpack.

Emily stepped back from the perch and took one end of the blanket, pulling it taught. "Damn, you brought a blanket?"

"I brought a bunch of stuff," JJ replied, lowering the fabric to the ground. "Sit. Breakfast is the important meal of the day, after all."

The tattoo artist obeyed, sitting cross-legged on one half of the blanket. Her hair was even messier than usual from the hike, and she began redoing her ponytail. JJ watched out of the corner of her eye, enraptured by the way Emily's muscles moved beneath her tattooed skin, and the playfulness of her one bright blue lock of hair.

JJ pulled her backpack closer to them, sitting beside Emily as she continued unpacking.

"Jesus, how much were you able to fit in that tiny bag?" Emily inquired as JJ produced a loaf of bread, a block of cheese, an assortment of fruit, a bag of cold cuts, and a kitchen knife.

"It's not nearly as tiny as it looks," JJ told her. "I haven't even gotten to the best part yet..."

From the bottom of her backpack, JJ produced a bottle of champagne.

"Okay, fine, I give up," Emily said with an amused laugh. "I think I actually do enjoy hiking with you."

"See? I knew you'd come around," JJ replied with a smirk. "Open up the food, I'll get the bottle open. It's still kind of cold."

The two of them sat in comfortable silence as they ate and passed the champagne bottle back and forth, admiring the sunrise from their perch. As it rose in the sky, a wider and wider array of colors were scattering the remnants of the night away. Emily had lived there for several years now, but even though she had traveled the entire globe, she realized that she had never bothered to explore her own city. Glancing from the view, to their picnic set-up, to JJ's relaxed form beside her, Emily felt a tender happiness she hadn't felt in a long time.

Emily had never been a morning person, but perhaps she had never known how lovely mornings could be.

"JJ?" she said, breaking their silence. The blonde looked over at her as she sipped at the sparkling liquid. "Thank you," Emily told her sincerely. "For taking me out here this morning. I never would have done this on my own, but I'm really glad you encouraged me to."

JJ reached over to touch the other woman's back softly. "I'm really glad you're here, too." They exchanged a soft smile. "And, since we're on the topic..."

"Yes?" Emily prompted.

"Emily Ink-Queen Prentiss, will you do me the honor of being my hiking buddy?"

The brunette laughed at JJ's adorable hopeful expression. "I would love to. But we're gonna have to ease until this whole 4:30 in the morning business."

"Deal," JJ agreed before setting her plate on the blanket and scooting forward. She dragged the backpack behind her to use as a pillow and settled down, eyes gazing up at the sky. Her hands were interlaced and settled comfortably on her stomach, and her golden hair was casually splayed across her bag.

Emily wasn't sure if she had ever seen the younger woman so at peace. Her steady breathing was calming, and the artist took the chance to soak in JJ's blissful presence before lying down beside her.

"I didn't know naptime was built into the day. Your hikes keep getting better and better," Emily joked, rolling her head to the side to observe JJ.

"We're not napping, we're existing," JJ teased back. "Besides, the end of the trail will still be there in an hour, but this view won't be."

"Fair enough. I'm definitely enjoying the break."

"We're as high as we gets," the blonde told her with a smile. "It's a pretty straight shot to the end, and on our way back, it'll be all downhill."

"Oh thank god. I'm not sure my thighs are capable of much more."

"You're gonna hate me tomorrow, aren't you?" JJ laughed, and the sound sent a small tingle down Emily's spine.

"I might," Emily admitted jokingly. "But I'm feeling pretty damn good right now."

"Good. I'll remind you of that if I get an angry phone call at 11am tomorrow," JJ replied.

Sitting up, she wrestled around in her bag and pulled out her phone.

"Is there service all the way out here?"

"Probably not, but that's not what this is for." JJ opened up the camera and quickly tapped the screen to activate the front facing camera.

"You're a selfie-taker, Jareau?" Emily asked with an eyebrow raise.

"Oh please, you'll cherish this in a few months when we're on top of a real mountain and reminiscing about how it all began," JJ told her dramatically. Despite her teasing, Emily gladly leaned in, and JJ snapped a picture of them smiling with the brilliant sunrise in the background. Truth be told, Emily was happy that she'd have a photograph of JJ. Her workspace at Body Art Unleashed had plenty of pictures of her with Derek and Penelope, so it seemed fitting that a picture of their most recent addition to the group should hang alongside the other ones.

The two settled back down onto the blanket, and JJ rested her head lightly against Emily's shoulder. A strange sort of energy shot through the tattoo artist at the contact, but she forced her muscles to loosen again. Tilting her head slightly, she pressed her cheek against JJ's head and let her eyes flutter shut.

Her senses flooded with the scent of the wildlife and JJ, Emily thought to herself that maybe she could feel at home somewhere after all.

By 5pm, the tattoo artist and the media liaison were on their way back to the city, full of sweat and smiles. They had spent the whole day exploring every inch of the park, even checking out a few of the side paths at Emily's suggestion, but the second they made it back to the car, the exhaustion set in.

"Holy hell, I didn't know my ass could hurt this bad," Emily groaned as JJ pulled out of the parking lot. JJ replied with a joke far cruder than had ever come out of her before, and Emily shook her head, muttering something about 'Sweet Jesus, we've corrupted you.'

While JJ forced Emily to finish the rest of her water bottle, stressing the importance of hydration during and after physical activity, Emily convinced JJ to let her pick them up warm Chinese food and a cold six-pack to enjoy back at her place.

They made it back to Emily's place half an hour later, and Emily stepped back into her apartment with a relaxed sigh. Sergio immediately came to the door and began licking at her ankles.

"Alright, so my little prince is subtly telling me I could be mistaken for a salt lick," Emily said in a slightly disgusted tone. "I'm probably gonna shower sometime soon, do you want to shower here?"

"Sure, if you don't mind," JJ said, examining her own sweat-covered body. "I'll wait 'til after you're done, though."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm in no rush. I'll start setting out dinner."

With a nod, Emily kicked her shoes off by the door and set the take-out boxes and six-pack on the kitchen table. JJ settled down at one of the bar stools Emily had in the kitchen, and Emily smiled at her before leaving.

"I'll be quick," she promised before padding down the hallway toward the bathroom. JJ found herself watching the brunette leave, catching a glimpse of Emily's sports bra-clad back as she yanked the shirt off on the way. Warmth flushed her cheeks as she realized she had been staring, but JJ chalked it up to fascination over Emily's skin. She had never seen the tattoo artist's back before, and she was incredibly curious about the flash of color her eye had caught sweeping upward from the woman's lower back. Shaking the image out of her head, JJ rummaged around the kitchen for plates and a bottle opener.

True to her word, Emily was back out in a record number of minutes. "Shower's all yours," she told JJ, dressed in a slightly damp Black Sabbath t-shirt and grey shorts. She was running a towel through her hair, and JJ loved the way that the blue strip darkened when wet. "I left a towel on the door, and feel free to use whatever's in there. If you need fresh clothes, pop into my room. Pajama-type stuff is in the bottom drawer."

"Thanks, Em," JJ said appreciatively and stood up from the bar stool. She was eager to rinse off and change out of her sweat-soaked clothes.

"And hey, when you get a chance, can you send me the pics you took from today?" Emily asked, settling down happily in front of one of the take-out boxes.

"Yeah, you got a USB cord?" Emily nodded, so JJ reached into her pocket and tossed the other woman her phone. "It'll be faster if you just copy them onto your computer."

"Thanks," Em said, catching the other woman's phone and reaching for her computer. "Have a good shower."

The older woman heard the sound of the shower start up, and she began trying to figure out how to hook JJ's phone up to her computer while scarfing mouthfuls of Chinese food down. JJ was an Android user, apparently, and it took Emily the better part of a beer and a few choice swear words to get the phone connected. It took the remainder of the beer to finally get the phone's storage open.

Emily clicked around, finding the "Photos" folder with relative ease. She was about to click on the "Recent Photos" icon, when something else caught her eye. To the right of her destination was a folder simply named "Untitled", and the folder preview appeared to be JJ's face, bruised and bloody.

Emily sat there, frozen, for almost a full minute. She didn't want to snoop around her friend's files, but what the hell was that?

Against her better judgment, Emily found herself opening up the folder and enlarging the image. Her breath caught in her throat as she found herself staring face to face into the eyes of a broken JJ. She wanted to look away, but the sight of her bruising and the desperation in the other woman's eyes kept her transfixed. An icy pain ran through her veins as she came to terms with the image she was looking at. Obviously Emily knew what JJ had been living with for three years, but to see it with her own eyes was horrifying. JJ had taken this picture herself.

Tentatively, she pressed the right arrow key on her keyboard. The image was of JJ's torso, even more bruised and scraped up than the previous image, and also self-taken using what appeared to be her bathroom mirror. Emily recognized the bruising as the traces of injury Emily had spotted when she was tattooing her. This must have been what it looked like a month earlier.

Emily exited out of the window and unplugged the phone again. Her appetite was gone, and she felt dangerously close to throwing up at witnessing the pain JJ had been in.

She sat motionless at the table for a couple minutes. Eventually, JJ emerged from the bathroom, dressed in Emily's old Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Hey," JJ said, her hair dripping little wet spots on the t-shirt. She looked refreshed and a little more energized as she grabbed herself a beer and a take-out box, plopping down next to Emily. "Were you able to find the pictures?"

Emily was silent, contemplating her options in her head. She knew she had to tell JJ what she saw. It was a violation of privacy that Emily opened up the folder in the first place, but she had, and it wouldn't have been right to keep that knowledge from her. She felt awful bringing JJ's traumatic memories up when their day together had been so happy, and she exhaled slowly.

"I..." Emily sighed before starting again. "First off, I'm really sorry, JJ. I shouldn't have looked. But I was trying to find the pictures on your phone, and..." She trailed off, not really knowing how to continue.

"Ah," JJ said, nodding in realization. She sat back in her chair and played with the wrapper on her beer bottle, looking remarkably similar to the first time Emily had met her.

"I'm so sorry. It was wrong of me to open the folder. But I saw the preview icon, and I - I don't know, I was just... concerned."

"It's okay," JJ assured her, looking slightly startled at Emily's profuse apologies. "Why would I be mad?"

Emily opened and closed her mouth a couple times, the otherwise talkative woman finding herself uncharacteristically speechless. "I just thought - I mean, they were private photos. They weren't for me to see."

"No, they weren't," JJ agreed. "And I'm sorry you had to see them. Honestly, Em, I forgot they were on there. I shouldn't have subjected you to them."

Emily reached out to grab the younger woman's hand. "You have nothing to apologize for. I stepped over a line. I'm truly sorry."

JJ squeezed Emily's hand and offered her a small smile. "It's okay, Em, I promise. I do appreciate your concern. But... I mean, I've already told you a lot of what I've been through these past couple years. I'm more embarrassed that you saw the folder I was keeping."

"Embarrassed? Why?" Emily asked, her throat still tight from seeing the broken face of one of her dearest friends.

JJ shrugged, eyes downcast once again. "I don't know. Just that I have them?"

"You can take and keep whatever pictures you want, Jayj. It's your body and no one else's," Emily said with a soft but firm voice. "Although I am gonna ask, if you're comfortable with it. How many of those do you have, and why?"

The blonde brought her eyes back up to meet Emily's, and she seemed to soften a bit. "A hundred and fifty, I think? Maybe closer to two hundred."

Emily nodded, soaking in the information, before JJ continued.

"I thought that... I don't know, I just wanted a record of what Will did. Some sort of proof. It'd be foolish of me to ever come forward about him, but if I ever wanted to... The knowledge that I have more than just my words to use against him is a good feeling."

The tattoo artist had guessed as much, but didn't want to assume JJ's intentions. It was smart, really. "Why do you think it's foolish?"

JJ laughed mirthlessly. "It'd be pointless."

"Coming forward isn't pointless. It's your choice, and you are in no way obligated to, but it certainly isn't pointless."

"It is when the man who hurt you is a charming decorated white male detective in the middle of southern Louisiana, and you're just the little blonde media liaison who used to fuck him."

Emily's hands curled into fists below the table as she tried to accept what JJ was saying. She knew JJ was right, and she also wasn't naive enough to believe all abusers were convicted the way her own had been. But the knowledge that the man who had spent years hurting JJ was able to keep living his impressive life with his impressive job after what he'd done was almost more than Emily could stomach.

The artist took several deep breaths, calming her easily-ignited nerves as best she could. This isn't even remotely about you, she chastised herself. Your duty as her friend is to be her support system, not be indignant about the things she has already had to accept.

Emily unclenched her hands and looked at JJ. JJ gave her a sorrowful smile back.

"I'm sorry," Em said quietly.

"There's no need to be sorry," JJ told her just as quietly. "You're helping me heal, you know that? Things are getting better."

Emily sighed, listening to the traffic of the street outside and the radio playing softly in the background. "I wish he was brought to justice. For what he did to you, and what he did to your..." she paused, not knowing if bringing up JJ's unborn child was too much.

"Thank you. For feeling that way."

"How could I not?"

JJ settled back in her seat, her thumb mindlessly stroking the now cold take-out box. "It's been awhile since I've felt I really have someone on my side."

"I'll always have your back, Jayj." The blonde nodded somberly, her eyes no longer energetic. "And I just want you to know that I'll stick by you if you ever choose to come forward. I understand if you never want to. But if you do... You're not alone."

"I appreciate it," she replied, reaching out to touch Emily's forearm.

Emily's hand joined JJ's, and she smiled warmly at the other woman. "Want to finish this food over on the couch? I have an excellent movie selection, and maybe afterwards, I'll let you see some embarrassing pictures from when I was a kid."

JJ and Emily sat curled up on her bed, flipping through photo albums from Emily's travels. They were cozily pressed up against each other, and JJ loved hearing Emily's stories - some funny, like the time she spent in Moscow, and others more somber, like the trips from her rougher teenage years.

JJ was flipping through the photos from the year she spent in Italy, admiring the gorgeous architecture shots and some artsy pictures Em had taken of traditional Italian culture.

"You've really got an eye for composition," JJ mentioned, admiring a particularly well-taken photo of one of Italy's many cathedrals. "I guess you were always cut out to be an artist."

"I guess so," Emily chuckled in agreement.

JJ kept flipping through the album, stopping periodically to appreciate any particularly striking images. All of them were of Italy, until she flipped to one of a pair of teens.

"Oh my god, is this baby Prentiss?" JJ cooed, thrilled to see what Emily looked like in her young rebellious teenage years.

"That is baby Prentiss indeed," Emily confirmed, looking fondly at the image. She had been going through her goth phase at the time, and she was mildly embarrassed by her all-black outfit, heavy eyeliner, and attempt at a tough-looking facial expression.

Mostly, though, Emily was focused on the boy beside her - Matthew, one of her closest friends from childhood, but someone she hadn't spoken to in roughly twenty years. His memory was one of the darker ones of her past, and she hadn't intended to talk to JJ about that period of her life tonight. But truth be told, Emily had not forgotten his picture was in the photo album when she handed it to the blonde media liaison, and part of her wondered if she wanted to talk to JJ about it.

Emily glanced over at a giggling JJ, still fixated on the image of the young tattoo artist and stroking the photo album like it was made of gold. She couldn't really blame JJ - older Emily pulled off the rebel look pretty well, but younger Emily was... less successful, to put it kindly.

Eventually, JJ's laughter subsided, and with a long sigh, she leaned back against the bedpost and continued to examine the photo. "We would've been friends in high school, I think."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Emily replied with a chuckle. "You must've been an athlete or a cheerleader or somethin', right? Super popular but a total nice girl, tons of guys after you."

"Athlete - yes, popular - a little, I guess, total nice girl - I hope so, and tons of guys - not really. Only thing I was that into was soccer," JJ replied, thinking back to her younger years.

"We wouldn't have been friends," Emily concluded.

"Well, maybe you wouldn't have been friends with me. But I would've been all over you. I always found the rebel thing alluring."

Emily laughed, trying to picture her own mental image of a young, bright-eyed JJ trying to fit in with her own band of misfits. Honestly, she probably would have adored the blonde if they had met years ago - Emily had always gravitated towards genuinely kind-hearted people - but she was glad they hadn't. She was not in a good place at the time, and she was glad JJ had never seen her at rock bottom the way she used to be.

She wasn't sure how long she had been lost in her thoughts for, but it was long enough that JJ had set the photo album in her lap and was watching her carefully.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked, her lips down-turned and eyes concerned.

"Nothing," Emily told her with a smile, but JJ continued to look at her expectantly. The artist sighed, absentmindedly stroking one ink-clad bicep as she sought out the proper words to express herself.

JJ was a different sort of friend. Emily didn't know why, but for some reason, she wanted JJ to know the deepest parts of herself, the parts of herself she kept hidden from others at all costs. It felt... important, somehow.

"Do you still want your tattoo story?" she asked, making up her mind.

"Always," JJ answered, her eyes still on the older woman.

"Which one?" Emily asked.

There was a long pause as JJ looked at her with unease.

"You can ask about any of them. Whatever you want to know."

JJ paused, her gaze naturally falling to her shirt-covered torso. Is she trying to tell me what I think she is, or...?

"It's okay, Jayj."

"Are you sure?" JJ asked, unsure of what had caused the change of heart in her friend.

"Only if you want to know."

"I always want to know more about you."

Emily nodded, her eyes trained on JJ as she weighed the pros of cons of revealing the last major secret she had from JJ. JJ nodded, and that was enough encouragement for Emily, who then she lifted the forgotten photo album from JJ's lap. It was not a story she shared often; even Derek and Penelope only knew the gist of it, and they knew better than to dig deeper. But for some reason, Emily itched to share it. Whatever the blonde's judgment was, Emily needed it out.

Holding the album, she let her thumb lovingly trace her old friend's face before giving it back to JJ.

"That's Matthew," Emily told her softly, affection still lingering in her voice even after years of painful recollection. JJ nodded, laying a hand on Emily's thigh in quiet encouragement. Memories ran through the older woman's mind as she contemplated where to begin.

"You know a lot about what I was like as a teenager," she started again, offering JJ a small smile as she nodded towards the picture. "I had a rough time. And I really can't clarify why. I could blame my absent mother, or my lack of a permanent home, or figuring out I was gay, or any number of reasons. Maybe it was the phase of the moon, I don't know. Or maybe it's just that growing up is a tough process. Painful at times, not always for one particular reason."

JJ understood; she had never even mentioned her older sister's suicide to Emily, but her words still rang true with her own childhood experiences.

"Italy was the low point for me," Emily continued. "We moved right after my mom and dad split up. I'm pretty sure that's why she accepted another foreign assignment so soon after Turkey. My dad had apparently been cheating on her for years, and banging my mom's best friend was the final straw. She fell apart, and so we moved across the world. She's never been a bad mother, you know? She always provided for me. But Italy was when she became cold - because of what my father had done - and I just remember wanting to never be like her."

The tattoo artist's voice was not upset, JJ noticed. Emily just sounded contemplative.

"I was like her in a lot of other ways, though. Stubborn. Smart. Short-tempered. Good with languages. I thought that if I wasn't careful, I'd grow to be cold, like she was."

A wave of sympathy ran through JJ, and she understood a little better the complicated way in which Emily had always spoken about her mother.

"That was kind of what set off the string of bad decisions I made when I was younger. All of which eventually culminated in risky sex and a pregnancy I couldn't handle at age 15."

Emily referenced the picture again. "That's where Matt comes in."

"Was he the father?" JJ asked softly.

"No," Emily replied, shaking her head. "But he might as well have been, since he was the one who stuck around to help me deal with it. I had no one else to turn to. My mother would have killed me if she had known what I'd gotten myself into, and I was thousands of miles away from the people I knew in the US."

The younger woman turned back to the picture, more carefully studying the person who had supported Emily through one of her darkest hours.

"Matt was staunchly religious, but after weeks of trying to figure out how the hell I could possibly be a mother, I decided to terminate the pregnancy. Matthew helped me find a place that would do it and keep it quiet."

Emily avoided eye contact with JJ, instead relaying the information in an almost clinical manner. She slowly shut the photo album and let it fall into her lap. "My family never found out, and neither did his. But he eventually cut ties with me, and I don't think he ever forgave me for what I asked him to help me with. The empty birdcage I showed you is a representation of what I gave up, and the friend I lost in the process."

"Why did he abandon you?" JJ asked, confused how their friendship could have soured so quickly. "It sounds like he was like family."

"He went on to become a priest," Emily said flatly. "He viewed what I did as murder. And it's because of me that he was an accomplice to what I'm sure he views as his biggest sin."

Emily still seemed to be okay, but JJ knew her well enough to know that this was just one of the many things she had compartmentalized and moved on from. Or tried to, at least.

"He may not still feel that way. He was young, too. You can only turn your back on your friends for so long."

"He's dead, JJ."

There was a long pause as JJ processed the information. "Em... I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Emily told her. She let her hand drop to JJ's, which was still lightly resting on her thigh. "It's in the past, and I've moved on. But... It felt important to tell you. This is a part of who I am, you know? Why I am who I am."

JJ nodded. There was always more to learn about the other woman, and she appreciated having Emily's trust. But she thought back to the last conversation they had had about Emily's rib tattoo, and the older woman's fears that JJ would hate her.

"Why did you think I would be upset with you?" JJ asked quietly, wondering if there was more to the story.

Emily looked at her with an expression that said, Isn't it obvious? "You wanted a child your entire life, and when you were finally gonna have one, a violent, abusive shithead took that from you. But when I got pregnant because I was irresponsible and stupid? I ended that potential myself."

JJ shook her head, almost not believing what she was hearing. "Em, you can't compare our situations. You can't even begin to."

Emily was more visibly upset now. "Why can't I? We both had the potential to be mothers. Yours was taken from you, and I voluntarily threw mine away. How could you not hate me for that?"

"Why would I ever hate you?" Emily was getting more frustrated, and JJ turned to face Emily, both her hands now gripping the older woman. "Emily, listen to me. It was your choice. You were fifteen, you made a mistake, and you made the best decision you could have given your circumstances."

Emily let out a long sigh, her head falling back against the pillow. "I know... I know. I just..." Another sigh. "Have you ever had one of those moments? Those moments where you have to make a decision, and neither choice is one you feel good about, but you spend months or even years afterwards regretting it?"

JJ nodded, her eyes filled with a knowing sadness. She had moved past blaming herself for her relationship with Will, but she didn't know if she would ever come to terms with the role she felt she played in her unborn son's death.

"That was my moment. My moment of regret. The moment that will always trigger that 'What if?' questions in my head, and the moment my goddamn brain likes to bring up whenever I feel settled in a particular place."

JJ had turned on her side at this point, and she let a hand fall protectively on the other woman's hipbone. "May I see it?"

Emily nodded, and wordlessly, she rolled her t-shirt upward, pulling it up over her bra. JJ tentatively let her hand drift upward, ghosting over the solemn ink-drawn memorial to Emily's pain. The artist shivered, the nerves under her skin heightened by the other woman's fingertips. The blonde traced the pad of one finger down the empty birdcage, the heat of her skin like a warm wind against Emily's abdomen. Her hand settled down against the other woman's tattooed skin, and JJ's caring eyes fell upon Emily's sad ones.

"For what it's worth," JJ said, "I think you're an incredible and loving person who has nothing in her past to be ashamed of."

Emily brought her hand to meet JJ's, her thumb stroking the hand that was caressing her own abdomen.

"Thank you," Emily said softly in response.

JJ moved closer to Emily, her head falling naturally in the crook of the older woman's shoulder. The blonde pressed a gentle kiss against the brunette's collarbone before she let her head rest against Emily again.

"Do you want to spend the night here?" Emily asked, though the question was pointless at this point. JJ just nodded as she buried her head deeper against the brunette. Emily's grip on JJ's hand tightened slightly, her fingers snaking through the blonde's.

Neither woman remembered falling asleep, but the next thing JJ remembered was being awakened by Emily's quaking body.

"No," the other woman was chanting, eyes screwed shut. "No, please don't. Help me."

In her sleep, Emily was turning away from JJ, her nightmare evidently pulling her away from human contact.

Instinctively, JJ reached out to pull Emily tighter. Her arm snaked around Emily's abdomen, touching the bare skin of her belly that had been exposed from the night before. She was careful to not touch her too roughly or too suddenly, experienced enough from her own trauma-induced nightmares to know how to handle her.

JJ spooned the other woman wordlessly, her lips softly pressed against the other woman's neck as she waited for her shaking to subside.

Eventually, Emily's night terror passed, and her muscles relaxed as she backed up further into the blonde's arms.

The last thing JJ remembered feeling was a sympathy towards the painful memories the other woman was holding onto, and an overwhelming desire to make sure Emily never faced that sort of pain alone ever again.

"Every loss, every mistake, was seared into her soul, creating a different kind of tattoo, one made from rage and abandonment, heart break and tears." - Kami Garcia

Again, if you are still reading, thank you for sticking with this story! Undoingtech, the ending was for you, and as usual, if there's something particular anyone would like to see, please let me know. I'm sorry it took me several months to update, and hopefully the next update won't take as long, as I will be back in the United States soon. Have a great day!