"So, Mr. Malfoy. Would you care to explain why you like pain so much?" Draco snapped out of his thoughts to glare at the therapist. His eyes filled with disgust and he took a moment to calm himself before answering.

"You're wrong. About all of this. You see, I don't like pain, in fact, I hate it as much as the next person. Just because I cut does not mean I like pain. It means that pain is the only feeling strong enough to take over the other ones. People say that happiness is the strongest feeling. Or love. Ha. How wrong they are. You see, pain can be emotional or physical. If fills you up until there's no room for anything left. Pain is the only feeling that can win over the sadness. When I'm sad, all I want is to feel something other than that. Something that makes me feel alive. I don't want to be a shell of a person. And cutting helps. The sting reminds me that I'm only human and humans aren't perfect. The blood reminds me that the sharpest knives and the sharpest words hurt the most. And the cut reminds me that even the worst wounds can heal with the proper attention and over time."

The therapist, god knows her name, sat in silence. Draco stood, giving her a look that clearly said 'we're finished here' and walked out of the room. He didn't get a chance to think about what he had said until he got back to Potter's house. He didn't know where it had come from, but all of it was true.

After he had returned from the hospital, Potter had gone back to ignoring him. 'I told you he didn't care, but you didn't listen to me, did you? No. You had to go off into your little fantasy world.' For once the voice was right. Draco had created a world where Harry Potter had actually cared, where Draco was loved. It was his only escape and even that was changing.

Draco ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. He needed answers.

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"Draco... It's nice to see you up," Potter said from where he lay on the floor. Draco only felt slightly guilty about tackling him the second he had walked in the door.

"Look Potter, I need answers." Harry sighed and sat up looking way less upset than Draco had expected. He had after all, tackled him to the ground.

"Right then, I guess I should have been expecting this, what exactly do you want to know?" Potter was being extremely cooperative, especially considering he had been ignoring Draco for the past two weeks.

"Well, maybe we should start with why the fuck you thought it would be ok to save me that night?" That came out a lot harsher than Draco had meant for it to. "I mean, it's no secret that you don't give a shit about me..."

"Maybe we should discuss this over tea? Earl grey alright with you?" Potter stood up and brushed his pants off before making his way towards the kitchen. He didn't get very far before Draco grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"No, Potter-"

"Call me Harry, please." Merlin Potter was being an idiot today. Draco wouldn't have even considered it, but the green eyes stared at him. There was longing, hope and a bit of disappointment as if Draco had already denied him.

"Fine. Harry, we need to discuss this now. I need to know why you saved my ass that night. And why have you been ignoring me since?" Draco was prepared for every possible reaction. Except for tears. He went into shock when Harry sank back down to the floor and leaned back against the wall. He stood and watched as the colour in Potter's eyes seemed to change. The tears were filling his eyes, threatening to spill over, dulling the bright green.

"I tried to tell you Draco, I really did. And it's all your bloody fault really."

What was Potter going on about now?

"When I walked in that night, when I saw you lying there on the floor, covered in your own blood, I wanted to close my eyes and pretend you were ok. I knew what you were going through, the silencing charms don't work. I've charmed my house against those. I would wake up every night and hear you screaming. But I never went. I closed my eyes, covered my ears and cried myself to sleep. I was to weak to do anything. I just pretended everything was alright and I couldn't hear you. But then that night. Oh merlin, that night I knew. I knew it was all my fault. Fuck Draco. I could have done something. Please don't hate me Draco. Please."

Draco was silent. What do you say to something like that? He knew it wasn't Harry's fault. It was his and only his. But Potter took the silence the wrong way.

"I'm so sorry Draco. So so sorry. I know you can't forgive me, but I don't want you to think I don't care. I do care dammit. How could I not? I've been in love with you since sixth year."

Draco blinked twice, sure he had misheard Potter. He must have. Potter wasn't in love with him. That would be ridiculous. But one glance at Potter confirmed it. The desperation for an answer, any answer was evident in Harry's eyes. And just like that, Draco found his tongue again.

"Harry..."