Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Sorrow
Characters: Castiel with mentions of Dean and Sam.
Pairing: N/A
Rating/Warnings: R. AU, OOC.
Summary: Castiel thinks about how he felt when he learned what sorrow was.
A/N: Thanks to Judy for betaing and to anyone who reads this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or anything related to it except this story. Eric Kripkie owns Supernatural.
Words: 607 words without title, word/definition, and ending.

*Sorrow*

Sorrow - The expression of grief, sadness, disappointment, etc.

As an angel, I never had to deal with human emotions. I simply fought alongside my brothers and sisters as we tried to keep Heaven under control from anyone who wanted destroy it.

That all changed the day I met Dean and Sam Winchester. The two young men are as different as day and night and trust me when I tell you that's saying a lot.

From the moment that I met them, the two brothers had intrigued me. The way they talked to each other on a daily basis baffled me because the things they said to each other, often didn't match the love they had for each other inside.

Almost every conversation that the two Winchesters shared ended with some sort of argument and even though they called each other harsh names, I could feel how much they cared for each other, even through the hurt.

It wasn't until Dean went to Hell, that I truly learned what sorrow was. I learned about it from Sam, who wore it like a second skin the entire time his brother was in Hell.

Even though he had tried everything he could think of to get Dean out of Hell, there was nothing Sam could do and his misery showed in everything he did or said.

Every time I saw Sam while Dean was in Hell, he was struggling just to get out of bed every morning and right then was when I knew how bad things were.

The sorrow inside Sam seemed to swallow him whole sometimes and I often wondered if there would be anything left of him when I managed to get Dean back from Hell.

It wasn't my place to tell Sam that Dean was going to come back, even though I was the one who was going to pull the older Winchester out of Hell.

It wasn't my place and even though I did what I was told, I felt a strange pull inside of myself at keeping this secret from Sam.

His sorrow had surrounded him and had confused me at first until he explained to me about feeling lost, sad, and helpless, now that his brother wasn't around.

It took a while for me to understand what everything meant and when I did, I felt a little sad myself at everything Sam was going through.

The only thing that made it better was knowing that soon enough the pain and grief Sam felt over Dean would be over. Dean was coming back home and I'd be the one to help him.

The thought of returning Dean to Sam, was the only thing that got me through the longest four months I've ever known.

Four months to the day of Dean's death, I returned him to his brother and watched as they reunited once more.

There was disbelief at first, which was better than sorrow, then there was acceptance and love as the two Winchester boys embraced then slowly started on the road to becoming a family once more.

Getting to know the Winchester boys has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and even though I hate to remember Sam in pain while his brother was gone, I'm partly thankful to him for showing me that there's more to the world than fighting the good fight.

He has showed me that there was sorrow and pain and happiness and family and home. Sam had also shown me that even though sorrow wasn't something one would wish on one person, that it could be so beautiful even as it rips you to pieces.

The end.