She placed a boot-clad foot on the slimy man's throat and pressed down. Her gun was cocked and pointed right at his John Thomas.

"Now," her smile was poisoned chocolate; sweet and smooth with a hint of acid that would burn through your viscera, "hand the coin to the man in tight pants and we'll be on our way, love." She watched the man's face go from exhaustion to fright as the bag was tossed to Mal.

"No need fer killin, prettygirl," the man underfoot choked out. She gave his throat one last press and walked away with the tall, dark woman and man in the tight pants. Her hips moved like a snake in her skin-like black pants. She tossed her nut brown hair over one shoulder and looked back at him. Before he could pull his pistol his vision turned red and he passed out.

River looked to Mal and gave a shrug, "80% chance of a kill shot with your back turned, Captain."

"That's a good 'Tross," Mal placed a kiss on her forehead then Zoe coughed.

"Seems we drew attention to ourselves," she observed. "Let's hightail it." They hopped in the Mule with Jayne driving getaway.

"We git paid," he asked over the roar of the mule's ancient engine.

"Sure did," Zoe held up the bag. Jayne's otherwise stony face split into a grin as he floored it back to Serenity.

-o0o-

Kaylee was waiting for them on the ramp as the Mule sped into the bay.

"Good crime," she asked brightly.

"Very good jiejie," River gave the older girl a hug. When she pulled away, she noticed a spot of red on Kaylee's jumpsuit. She looked down and lifted her shirt to find a two inch gash on her side. "Ta ma de, Simon's going to flip." Jayne looked over to her after settling up the Mule.

"Musta happened before you took that bastard down. Git to the infimary sos yer brother can fuss over ya. I'd like to get the yellin over with," he sighed wearily. River bunched her shirt over the cut as to not bleed all over the Captain's shiny pretty ship.

Jayne watched her walk away in nothing but those tight black pants and the lacy pink bra she'd put on under that practically see-through green shirt.

"Starin again," Zoe warned him.

"Jayne," Mal started.

"Yeah, yeah. Jus been cooped up without leave fer a while. We gettin a break soon," he asked irritably. "Even lil Crazy's lookin good to me." Kaylee let out an uncomfortable giggle before running off to the cockpit to let their Pilot, Echo, know they were all set to go. She had seen the looks between the two killers. She may not be smart like Simon but she was bright. She gave Echo the signal and walked off. They had a rendezvous with Badger scheduled to drop off his cut.

-o0o-

"River," Simon scolded, "again?" He looked at his sister, no longer a child but a full grown woman. Her face was streaked with orange-red dirt and her shirt was bunched at her side. Despite her injury she was smiling.

"Wasn't their fault," she said matter-of-factly. "The man didn't play fair. Something had to be done and they were all too slow. Kept them safe. It's my job," she said proudly.

"You're worse than-"

"Much worse," she smiled as she lay down to allow Simon to irrigate and stitch her up. Kaylee came in to check on her and bring her a clean shirt.

"Captain says we're takin a few days on Persephone," she informed them. The mechanic looked to Simon, "Was thinkin' we could sleep out fer a night? Mayhap eat a real meal in a restaurant?" Simon was thankful his wife had simple tastes.

"That sounds lovely, BaoBei," he smiled warmly at her. "You pick a place and get all dressed up. We'll walk the world for a while." The looks between them were sickening. River felt a wave of affection pass between them followed by a spike of lust. Her face contorted as she jumped off the table.

"Gross," she playfully pretended to vomit and left them to their gooey thoughts.

"Brat," she heard Simon call from behind her.

"Boob!"

-o0o-

In the galley there was little to be found in the way of food but luckily someone had made coffee. She poured herself a stale cup and headed to the bridge to sit with Echo. Echo had come highly recommended by some of their less savory acquaintances. He was proving to be a good pilot and discreet about their dealings, which erred on the more often than not illegal side these days.

"Hey," she greeted him as she sat in the co-pilot seat. "Need a break?"

"Naw," he answered, leaning the seat back and steering with his knees. Echo was built like a man she read about one time, Ichabod Crane. Long, thin limbs with a hatchet face and close set eyes. His hair stood up in wild angles from his head and a permanent scruff of stubble graced his anvil jaw. "Thought you'd be resting. Zoe said you took a wound." Concern came off him in waves. River knew he thought she was pretty but he was still a bit frightened of her when she had a bad day.

"Nothing gege couldn't patch. Lived through worse," she smiled into her coffee.

Mal stuck his head in and found River who was studying their Pilot with a suspiciously dreamy look.

"Gunna Wave Badger," he told her, "and reckon it'd be best if you did tha talking this time, 'Tross. He likes you and he ain't been givin out the legal jobs like he used to. We need a break."

"Smile pretty, funny voice, ask nicely. Be demure," she asked, knowing full well that's what Mal had in mind. Over the years Badger had sent her gifts. Pretty dresses and fresh fruit. Flowers, theater tickets, pointe shoes covered with real silk. Fine things for a space merc. He liked her, alright. He was either trying to seduce her or hire her every time she saw him. She preferred farm boys from the Rim. She was drawn to their broad shoulders and rough hands. Their almost unintelligible accents and massive builds that made her feel like the small, delicate things she was no longer. She never kissed them, and never stayed the night. But farm boys made love like no one in the 'Verse.

" 'Allo, love," she greeted the small man on the screen. "Was wonderin if you had a bitta time for lil ol me?"

"For you, poppet," he smiled, "all the time in the 'Verse."

They negotiated a time and drop off place and she promised him that she'd consider being at the drop off if he gave them some clean work this time around. She usually was but not in any capacity that he'd notice. Kept to the shadows with a gun trained on him, or waiting for the perfect time to spring from her hiding space to snap his neck at the first sign of threat made upon her family.

She felt the girl slipping. She looked around the cockpit briefly forgetting where she was. The urge to shove the Pilot out of his seat and crash into the nearest moon or large piece of debris was overwhelming. Taking a deep breath she got up and headed to her bunk. Zoe had tried to talk to her on the way but all she remembered was screaming about wilted flowers on forgotten graves before gingerly climbing down into her bunk. She fished out the black leather case that held the syringe full of the medication that made her normal life possible. It was already loaded as she picked it up reverently, and slid the cold metal into the first vein she could find.

-o0o-

She woke up to find Kaylee holding her hand, and staring down at a book in her lap.

"Hey meimei," she whispered, wiping River's forehead with a cool cloth.

"How long," the younger girl asked.

"Jus a few hours this time," the other answered. "Didn't hurt no one. Just shouted a bit. Yer gettin better each time."

"But it still happens," she stared up at the ceiling and willed her tears not to come. She felt Simon's mind close by, probably standing outside her hatch. "Tell him I'm awake, please." She started to sit up slowly, her head feeling heavy with the thoughts of everyone on ship. After an episode it took a few hours to block the most of them out again. Echo probably wouldn't talk to her for a few days, fear coming off of him in spikes that pierced her. Mal would treat her gently until work showed up again and Zoe would pretend nothing happened. Times like this she missed Inara who would take it in stride. She would sit and braid River's hair, whispering soothing things or humming pretty songs. She taught River to do breathing exercises and visualizations to block out the unwanted thoughts. Simon and Kaylee would treat her like a little girl for weeks after. The episodes were becoming less and less frequent but they still happened and that made her want to rage more than anything. She needed a drink, and a tussle or a turn in a strange bed.

She carefully climbed out of her bunk after Simon had confirmed for himself her vitals were fine and headed to the galley where she knew there was an unopened bottle of the swill they brewed in the engine. She found Jayne had beaten her to it.

"Share," she demanded, sitting across from him and holding out her hand.

"Should you be drinkin after..."

"I will kill you with my crazy brain if you do not share the alcohol, Apeman," she warned. He handed the bottle over and she took a long pull, pushing it back to him.

"Ya okay Moony," he asked. If she didn't know any better he was worried.

"Will be," she fiddled with the edge of the table. "Wasn't your fault."

"I know. Jus can't help it sometimes. We're the Mercenaries. We keep Cap and Zoe safe, then each other. You shoulda been on getaway."

"No. No, no no, no! Be Jayne," she shouted. "Stop feeling bad!" She quietened down once she realized she was shouting again.

"Fine," he relented, taking another drink from their shared bottle. "Was yer own fault fer showin off. Iffn ya weren't so feng-le ya wouldn't-a gotten cut up. Better?"

"Thank you," she sighed.

"Anytime. By tha way, Badger is expectin ta see ya at drop off. Waved Mal while you were out. Says no legal jobs without seein' ya." A feeling of anxiety hit her hard but she couldn't figure out who it was coming from. She looked at Jayne wide eyed and shaking, suffering the effects of whoever felt this way.

"Mal. Bad." She took a long drink from the bottle until she couldn't feel anymore.

-o0o-

They docked two weeks later, preparing to meet with Badger. River lined her eyes in kohl and painted her lips a deep shade of red. She decided to don one of the fine dresses he sent her. She piled her hair on top of her head, leaving a few curls down around her face. She preferred her black trousers and thin shirts but if it meant getting a job which they weren't being shot at she was willing to make the sacrifice. On the way down she ran into Echo, who had the top of his flight suit down with the sleeves tied around his waist. The white undershirt he wore had a yellowing stain around the neck.

"You look nice," he offered awkwardly.

"You're dehydrated," she pointed to his neck. "You smell like urea and ammonia. Stop drinking coffee. No alcohol."

"What?"

"Ya smell like piss," Jayne translated as he handed River her pistol. "Git some water in ya. Hey Moony, lookin' like a real girl fer once. Where ya gunna put a gun on that thing?"

River lifted her skirt to the top of her thigh. High enough that the two shocked men caught a glimpse of her black panties just next to the thigh holster Jayne recognized as the one he got her for her 25th birthday just past.

"Tongues in mouths, boys," she winked and walked away after loading the gun into its hiding spot.

"She's crazy, ya know," Jayne warned. "Not all there all tha time. And yer not her type."

"And you are," the pilot asked, attempting to straighten himself to stand as tall as the Mercenary. The larger man just laughed and walked away.

Surprisingly she had to do very little flirting once Badger saw her. She borrowed some of his childhood experiences from his head and re-worked them as her own. She graciously accepted the apple he gifted to her and gave him a kiss on the cheek as they left. Once they were far enough away from him she threw the bright green apple in the nearest bin.

"It felt wrong," she explained as Zoe gave her a puzzled look. River unpinned her hair and shook it out then accepted Mal's handkerchief to wipe the paint off her lips. When they got back to the ship, Kaylee was waiting for Simon in the cargo bay. She was dressed in a blue dress that looked like it may have belonged to Inara. It was a much better choice than the frilly pink things she used to favor when River was younger.

"Hey jiejie," River greeted her. "You look so shiny. My brother is lucky." Kaylee gave the younger girl a smile as Simon lead her out of the ship, informing Mal that they had a Comm on them. After River got changed she caught up with Jayne.

"Drinks," she asked.

"Yeah, could go fer drinks. Mal? Zoe?"

"I'm staying with Echo," Zoe informed them. "He owes me another round of cards. Yall have fun."

The trio found a small out-of-the-way bar on the far side of town. River went right up to the bar and ordered a triple whiskey. Mal found himself in a conversation with a group of other former Browncoats, leaving Jayne to drink with his crazy partner.

"War stories," she asked, pressing a drink into his hands.

"Yeah," he downed it in one gulp. It burned nicely going down and he ordered two more. "Can't let it go can they?"

"They shouldn't have to, Ape. Violence shapes people like us. Be it imposed, chosen, or enjoyed. Or all three," she smiled as she shot back another dark drink.

The night ended with River making off with a young, broadly built man about her age. The man was entranced by River's hands roving over his body as they danced. Jayne managed to find some strange in the restroom, taking the woman up against the cracked tiles and getting his relief in her before heading back to the ship, still pleasantly drunk. Mal came stumbling in at sunrise still smiling and bidding his new war buddy a farewell. Zoe guided him to his bunk, leaving him a couple of re-hydration tablets she had gotten off of a sleep rumpled Simon.

River got in just before breakfast, and found Jayne lifting in the cargo bay among the crates that had been deposited in the night.

"Good night," he asked.

"As ever," she answered simply. "He wanted me to stay the night but, you know. So I went to visit her."

"Don't ever get easier, Moony," Jayne wrapped an arm around his partner. "We all miss her."

"That's not what you meant." His lips brushed the girl's temple and River shuddered. "Stop."

"Nah, 'spose not." She pulled the vision of her sitting at Inara's elaborate grave from his head. She saw the Companion's face in his mind, the tight scar crossing her right cheek and eventually her eyes rolling back in her head. Blood. So much blood.

"Unpleasant," she shook her head and pulled away from him.

"Sorry. How I remember her the last time. Block me out."

"It gets dangerous when I don't know what you're thinking. Last time..."

"Yeah I know."

"I know you know," she gave a weak smile.

Echo observed the two killers from the catwalk. The massive Jayne and small, bird boned River looked strange together. Everyone assumed Jayne was the dangerous one but he'd seen River in a frenzy. Her dance of death both graceful and frightening. and Jayne with his brute force and love of violence. Their accuracy coming from River's ability to read his next moves and their connection running deeper in battle. Sometimes after a job he caught them touching softly in the hidden corners of the ship. Comparing scars and injuries or sitting close together while they cleaned their gritty, blood smeared weapons. It wasn't the paternal affection Mal administered or the reassuring sibling closeness she shared with Simon and Kaylee. Or even the protective, shielding stance Zoe took.

From what he understood, the crew saw her as a daughter, or a little sister. He'd fallen uneasily into the family dynamic they all shared. Sometimes when he dreamed of the girl he felt like the creepy uncle banned from holiday celebrations. Last night he breached the subject briefly with Zoe.

"When I met River she was but a 15 year old girl," the Warrior reminisced. "All headsick and unpredictable. I wanted her off, so did Jayne. Even lil Kaylee was scared of her for a while. Then we saw what was done to her."

"What," he had asked, hoping to get an insight.

"If she wants you to know, she'll tell you." She shuffled the cards again. "But you're not going to like the answer. People died for it. Jayne saw to it. Mal saw to it. Even Doc administered his own type of Justice over it. Dare say I gleefully partook. They took something from me as well."

He had vaguely known about Zoe's husband. The Miranda broadwave, Reavers created by the Alliance and in the far reaches of the 'Verse people still whispered about the weapon shaped like a girl who had defeated them.

Once they were back in the Black, their routines resumed.

They each took watch on the bridge, with Echo checking in once in a while like and good Pilot would. When not on watch, he liked to sketch. Trees he remembered from his childhood on the Rim, faces long gone but always remembered, the crew, the engine (much to Kaylee's glee), far off moons. Zoe stalked about the ship, never sitting for too long. Mal would sit in the disused shuttle for hours talking to himself. Simon and Kaylee would go off to their bunk at any opportunity, not that anyone could blame them. It was really the only thing to do out there. Jayne would punish his muscles for hours in the bay. When he wasn't doing that he would be sharpening knives or sparring with River:

"Instincts must stay sharp, Apeman," she teased him as she broke out of his grip.

"Yer bones'll break jus as easy as the next guy's," he came back and pinned her to a crate. He pointed the dull practice knife at her heaving chest and wrapped his hand around her throat. "And now yer dead."

"I let you win," she panted, sweat plastering the hairs that had escaped her ponytail to her neck and forehead. She cocked her head and brought her lips to his ear. "I always let you win." He threw down the practice knife and released her.

"Crazy," he muttered as he walked away.