A one-shot 5.12 coda to complete what was left incomplete in my mind.
Normal disclaimers apply. Just playing with "the boys" before giving them back to Peter and CBS.
*** H50 ***
The tension was palpable. Everybody could feel it. Something had changed between them. The usually friendly jabs had become sharper, more jagged in their delivery. Meant to hurt. Especially from one side of the formidable pair. Maybe it was because they were close and you sometimes get away with hurting those closest to you. Maybe. Or maybe it was something more.
/*/*/*/
Grace watched helplessly as her 'Uncle Steve' gave chase to apprehend whoever had decided at that moment to steal his father's infamous Marquis.
"Hey!" Steve shouted at the car even as the driver eluded him. Jumping over hedges and anything else that got in his way, he was bound and determined to stop the car with his SuperSEAL powers. He was fast, but not fast enough.
"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed as he frustratingly watched his beloved car weave down the street. Immediately he called it in, alerting HPD to be on the lookout and to bring the culprit in to face him personally.
Steve reluctantly went to gather up Grace so he could get to the crime scene he'd been called to while watching his Marquis disappear around the corner.
"Hey, Gracie, you okay?" he called to Grace as he returned on foot to where he left her. She was sitting on the grass waiting as he had instructed her to.
"I'm good, Uncle Steve. Were you able to catch the guy?" Grace innocently asked.
"No. Not yet anyway. I called it in. But I've got to get you home. Danno's gonna blow a gasket when he finds out what happened."
"Um, he already knows." Shit. Steve knew Danny would be upset with him for leaving his daughter for even a millisecond; he was so not looking forward to Danny's wrath.
"I had to call him, Uncle Steve. Whenever I'm alone he wants to know where I am." Grace grimaced and looked down.
Sometimes she felt like she was permanently tethered to her dad. But she understood his over-protectiveness. Being a cop's daughter brought with it certain restrictions, albeit from a father's love and concern, but also from a deeper knowledge than most of all the evils that lurked in the world. And Grace had been a victim of crime more than once. The memories of Rick Peterson and the carjacking had faded into the background of her mind. But they were still there nonetheless. Some things that would always be a part of her, much to her dad's distress.
"Okay, Gracie. Let's get you home and then I'll go calm your dad down, okay?"
Smiling up at him, Grace responded, "Okay, Uncle Steve. Don't worry. Danno won't yell at you... much." She giggled.
Steve sighed. He knew his partner. Too well.
/*/*/*/
When Steve met Danny at the parking garage, he hadn't meant to antagonize him further. He had promised Grace he would calm him down and instead he had done the opposite. The worst part was he didn't even know why he was reacting this way. Christ, Danny had been there for him more than just about anybody in his life. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he was just upset about the car. Maybe. But in the past many weeks he had been unreasonably sharp and harsh with Danny and he really didn't understand why. Shaking his head he focused back on the bullet-riddled body of Dr. Christine DuPont.
/*/*/*/
Focusing on the case had kept them busy for most of the rest of the day. Their only other heated interaction occurred on the way to the perp's house. Danny had really tried to show concern about the Marquis and Steve had cut him off and basically shut him down. The 'discussion' had escalated into Danny's fathering skills, or lack thereof according to Steve, which left them both bristling. They really knew how to push each others' buttons.
Danny was hurt, upset and confused by the way Steve was acting, especially comparing his fathering skills to that damnedable car. Grace was far more important than that broken down piece of junk. And he should know. He had pushed it up more than one hill in the last 4 1/2 years. All in the name of friendship. Friendship? He was beginning to question just what was going on with his friend. He was jolted out of his thoughts when they pulled up to the suspect's place.
Later when Steve made comments about 'saving Danny' from the booby-trapped yard, not once, but twice, Danny just about lost it with him for the third time that day. He made a silent decision to just let it go. Be thankful he could just go home and chill out when they were done.
Except Steve had neglected to tell him about two more stops they had to make before the end of the day.
The first was to rendezvous with the team at Kamekona's for an early dinner. Danny had tried to make nice, slightly amused, but appreciating what Steve had done for the young man who had stolen his car. Referring to his best friend as a half-baked cookie who fixed broken toys had almost warmed Steve up. Almost. Maybe they were both too broken.
And when Steve told him they had one more stop to make and that he had made arrangements to drop Grace at Lou's house for an hour or so, Danny had just about blown a gasket.
"We have to go where and do what? Are you kidding me?"
/*/*/*/
So what brings you in today?" she calmly asked.
Neither Steve nor Danny could look at her directly. Squirming in their chairs, Steve was the first to speak up.
"Uh, well, you see... Uh, my team, uh, our team," he hesitantly glanced at Danny's bowed head. Clearing his throat he continued, "Our team thought we needed another session sooner rather than later." He finally got it out.
"Oh, I see. Do you think you need another session?" the therapist asked.
"Not really," Danny suddenly spoke up. "I'm not the one with the problem." He glared at Steve.
"Well, then why did you come?" the annoyingly calm voice asked.
The silence stretched uncomfortably for a minute or two, nobody, not even the therapist speaking.
Like children being punished, they both finally responded, "Because our team made us."
For the first time, the therapist smiled a little, actually stifling an urge to laugh. "I see. Did you decide it was in the team's best interest to come see me? And on such short notice?"
Steve sighed. Danny looked down at his shoes. Their body language spoke volumes. Steve was sitting straight up in the chair, back rigid, a serious expression on his face. Danny, on the other hand, looked distraught, yet angry, the muscle in his jaw working all the while looking away from Steve. Even though the two chairs were angled towards each other, the men were doing their best to be as far apart as possible. Angling their bodies in opposite directions.
"Gentlemen, we can sit here in silence for the next 45 minutes or we can attempt to get to the bottom of what's bothering you both." She paused, eyeing up both men wondering who would give in first. With no commitment by either man to begin, she made the decision.
"Commander, why don't you start?"
Staring angrily at his partner, Steve said, "Sure, why not. It's obvious this stubborn, opinionated, bull-headed detective won't since he sees nothing wrong with his behavior."
Danny winced as if he had been physically hit.
"Commander, let's keep it civil. Name-calling only creates animosity and distance. Don't you agree?"
Once again clearing his throat, Steve responded, "Okay, sorry about that." Not looking at Danny. And Danny was still looking down at his shoes.
"Let's start with what's happened since I last saw you both."
Steve proceeded to fill her in on their cases over the last 6 weeks, leaving out what happened in Colombia and with Wo Fat. The things that most needed to be talked about. Danny merely grunted here and there during Steve's recitation. Totally out of character as he would normally throw in a surly comment or two. Neither man would look at the other. The therapist, although not particularly communicative about what she noticed, did observe the obvious frustration and discomfort between the partners. This was very different from her previous sessions with the two. They were both strong alpha males, unique personalities, but obviously close and they had talked about their relationship directly but with humor. Now there was an undercurrent of hostility between them.
"Has anything happened between the two of you over the last several weeks that is more personal than case-related?"
Neither Steve nor Danny offered up a comment right away until Danny finally mumbled, "He left my daughter alone on a street corner to go chase a rusted bucket of bolts down the street."
"Danny, stop with the negative comments about my dad's car! And, I didn't leave Grace for more than a few minutes."
"A few minutes? A few minutes?" The change in Danny's demeanor was instantaneous. Up on his feet, Danny was now on a roll. "What the hell, Steve? She could have been attacked, kidnapped, raped or murdered in the time you were gone. You were supposed to protect her. What in the hell is the matter with you?" Danny was pacing, his hands punctuating his words. His face angrily red, he was glaring at Steve. Steve was glaring right back.
"You are such a drama queen, you know that?" Steve retorted.
"What? You stupid piece of irresponsible shit. THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!" Danny shouted.
"Okay, okay, both of you need to calm down and talk this out like reasonable adults," the therapist tried desperately to get the session back under control.
Danny was seething, the muscles in his shoulders tense, fisting and unfisting his hands. It was all he could do to turn away from Steve. He wanted to hit him so badly. Had wanted to all day. And although Steve looked totally in control, under the surface he was just as angry. He hadn't moved from his chair. Danny had yet to sit back down.
"Detective, why don't you take a seat and let's discuss the problem."
Danny looked at the therapist and instantly deflated like a punctured balloon. Head down he slowly sank back into the chair once again looking at the floor.
"Commander, let's start from the beginning. What happened with Detective Willams' daughter?"
Steve proceeded to explain how he was helping Grace train for the Presidential Physical Fitness Medal and that in the middle of their training Grace noticed that someone was stealing his car. He pointed out, strongly, he had told Grace not to move, to stay right where she was and he would be back for her.
"Gracie's an incredibly mature 12-year old and I knew she'd be okay. We were in a good neighborhood. And I didn't leave her alone for more than a few minutes. Really," Steve stated.
"And this upset you, Detective?"
"Well, yeah, of course. It's not exactly safe anywhere anymore, you know? And she's only 12," Danny stressed. "If anything happened to her..." his voice trailed off and he stared down at his hands now clasped in front of him between his knees.
Steve looked hard at his partner choosing his words carefully. "I think he's a little over-protective and sensitive, but I..." Steve didn't get to finish. Danny was out of his chair in two seconds. The mercurial changes in him stunning both Steve and the therapist.
"Over-protective? Over-protective? You son-of-a-bitch!" Danny was fast, but Steve was faster. He had blocked Danny's right arm and grabbed his left wrist at the same time.
The therapist was standing now and practically shouting.
"Gentlemen, please! Commander you need to let go of him and Detective, you need to control yourself! Or this session will be over and you both will be put on administrative, unpaid leave. Do you understand?"
"Yes, m'am," Steve's military training front and center.
"Yes," Danny responded still tense with anger.
The therapist nodded towards Danny's chair and he reluctantly sat down.
"Commander, I see in my files that you do not have children, true?"
"Yes, that's true."
"And being career military until starting the Governor's Task Force you have not had a lot of experience with children, correct?"
"Well, yeah, I suppose you could say that," Steve responded. The sarcasm from Danny's chortle was obvious.
"Detective, do you have something to say?"
"No, no, m'am. Just clearing my throat," Danny lied.
"Detective, why don't you tell the Commander why this situation with your daughter upset you so much."
Danny sat up straighter. "Steve, oh excuse me, the Commander, knows why I'm protective of my daughter." The sarcasm wasn't lost on either the therapist or Steve. Steve just rolled his eyes. Danny continued, "She means the world to me. Actually she is my world. I'd be lost if anything happened to her. I thought he understood that."
"I do, Danny," Steve interrupted. The therapist held up her hand.
"Please continue, Detective."
"I just didn't expect him to leave her like that. I trusted him with her." Steve squirmed uncomfortably at the use of the past tense. "She's growing up so fast. She's so smart, so beautiful," Danny sighed, his deep feelings for Grace showing unashamedly on his face.
"Okay, I get that you love your daughter very much. Do you believe the Commander doesn't realize that since he's not a father himself?"
Steve started to speak and the therapist held up her hand once again to stop him from interrupting.
"No, I know he knows how much I love her. He knows I'd give up my life for her. Hell, he and she get along better than she and I do at times. She adores her Uncle Steve."
"Uncle Steve?" the therapist quirked an eyebrow.
Steve smiled. Danny tried not to react.
"Yeah. He was her Uncle Steve," Danny wanted to wipe that smirk off Steve's face.
Steve's face fell. Danny's comment had the desired effect.
Ignoring the sidebar, the therapist spoke. "So, let me summarize here. Detective, you feel that the Commander didn't take his role to protect your daughter this morning seriously enough. That he minimizes your role as her father and doesn't understand the natural protectiveness a father has towards his daughter. Is that correct?"
"Pretty much," Danny answered.
"Is there something I missed?" the therapist questioned.
"Just that I don't know how anyone, most of all Steve, could leave a young girl like that to go chasing after a car that isn't worth its weight in dirt," Danny added.
And the fire started on the other side of the room.
"See, there you go again, disrespecting my car!" Steve pointedly looked at Danny.
"Well, it's true! It's a piece of junk!" Danny exclaimed.
"Gentlemen, please," the therapist sighed getting their attention once again. "Let's start with you, Detective. It appears to me that you don't think much of Commander McGarrett's car. Can you explain why you choose to disparage it when it is clearly something important to him?"
"Well, yeah. He treats the damn thing like a baby. I mean, I think he would put a diaper on it to keep it from leaking oil and would burp it if it got the wrong kind of gas."
"And this bothers you why, Detective?"
"I don't understand the attachment to a car. I mean I know it was his father's and all, but to value it over my daughter, I just don't get." Danny had barely finished before Steve started in.
"Geeze, Danny, how could you even say that? You know how much I love Gracie. Man," Steve muttered, an incredulous expression on his face.
The therapist decided to let the conversation between the two men continue as the volume of vehemence had calmed down a bit. She was, however, watching for signs of rising temper from either of them.
"If that was true, then why did you leave her to go chasing after that rusted piece of junk," Danny stated, once more not filtering his opinions before he opened his mouth.
"Detective?" the therapist raised her voice threateningly. She noticed Steve's reaction in the increased stiffness of his body.
Danny sighed, "Okay, I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know." Danny's rapid change from aggressiveness to resignation and back was amazing to the therapist. Definitely an emotional roller coaster ride with this one she noted.
"My car was being stolen, Danny. If it was your car, what would you have done?" Steve asked Danny.
"I don't know for sure. But I can tell you this, if it was YOUR daughter, I wouldn't have left her standing there to go chasing after it. What? Did you think you were going to catch it with your SuperSEAL speed and monstrous strength. Did you think you could fly or didn't you have your SuperSEAL emblazoned cape with you?"
Before Steve could reply, the therapist interjected, "Detective, I'm sure there is a time and place for your particular brand of humor and sarcasm, but right now, this is not the place."
"But..." Danny started. Steve was smirking.
"But what, Detective?"
"That's just how I relate to this animal. You have no idea what I have to deal with all day every day!"
"Well, you could always ask to be partnered with someone else, couldn't you?" the therapist wisely questioned. She got the reaction she expected.
Both men's expressions turned to horror. Danny sputtered, "Well, I suppose I could, but..."
"But what, Detective?" the therapist was desperately trying not to smile. She had already figured out the dynamics of this relationship.
"Um, I don't want another partner," Danny said softly once again looking down at his feet. Steve stared at Danny, his own throat tight and his heart in his stomach. He knew HE didn't want another partner, that was for sure.
"Well, based on the outcome of today's session, that may not be your decision to make. The Governor expects me to evaluate everyone's personality and the interaction of partners for the effectiveness of each unit."
"We came to you to help us work out our differences, not to be separated!" Steve challenged the therapist. "We always have each other's back when it comes to our work." Steve didn't miss Danny's grimace. "Actually we ALWAYS have each other's back, no matter what." Danny visibly relaxed.
The therapist was once again trying not to smile. She had anticipated this response from both men. She had long ago figured out their hold on each other and how much each cared about the other. Just very different personalities, but with very similar core values. Those values were the glue of their relationship. Now she just had to get them to see that.
"I'm sorry, our time is up for today. Shall we make another appointment to finish this discussion? Let's see," she started looking in her appointment book,"I have time early tomorrow evening."
There was stunned silence. This was where they were going to leave it for the night? You could have heard a pin drop.
*** H50 ***
Somewhere in all this mess, they had forgotten what their relationship meant. Their bond, their brotherhood. Instead of pulling together they had been pulling apart.
Sitting in Steve's backyard, both nursing a Longboard, they looked out at the ocean and the rapidly approaching sunset, the earlier tension replaced with an uneasy camaraderie. Not quite back to where it once had been, but better than the last month or so.
Steve had talked Danny into coming back to the house after their therapy session making sure Grace was okay first. He was sort of surprised Danny had agreed, but he was glad. Danny looked exhausted.
Steve felt tired just looking at him, acknowledging how short his own patience had been. All his hostility and anger of the day had dissipated somewhat with Nahele, the kid who had stolen his car. The poor kid was scared and alone. Memories of those feelings he once had himself turned his anger into compassion. Helping the kid had been the right thing to do.
Once Steve had had something to eat and decompressed with his team, he had realized he had been really snappy with Danny all day. When he thought about it more, he had been on edge a lot since what happened with Wo Fat. He had taken his grumpiness out on his partner, his best friend. He would have talked to Danny about it just between the two of them, but the team had decided the 'boys' needed a session with the 'therapist'.
Steve's mind flittered back to the hospital parking lot earlier that day. He flinched when he recalled the angry words he had exchanged with his partner. Chin's not-so-innocent question about them still seeing the therapist had rankled them both. When Chin had off-handedly mentioned that maybe they needed a few more sessions, they didn't think much of it until Steve got a call from said therapist about 30 minutes later.
Unbeknownst to them at the time, Chin had called to see if she was available later in the day. He was worried about them as he had watched the tension between the two men get progressively worse. He, and the rest of the team, were feeling it and they were reacting by becoming a little off-balance themselves.
Chin was the Governor's watchdog of sorts. Denning was well aware of the stresses Steve had been under and was vaguely aware of behavioral changes in Detective Williams that had been observed and reported by others. He didn't know the details of the particular issues facing the detective, but he had faith and trust in Steve's leadership abilities. And he had faith and trust in Chin to know when intervention was required. The Governor wanted it on the down low so as not to overtly affect the team's effectiveness or public perception. However, he was concerned about Steve's mistreatment at the hands of Wo Fat and his ultimate recovery. Ergo, Chin's induction into the Governor's special 5-0 oversight committee. Chin didn't like it, but better him than an outsider.
Returning to the present, Steve glanced over at Danny. Feeling Steve's eyes on him, Danny returned the gaze. They looked at each other with a softness, a tenderness that neither had been experiencing much of over the past month and a half. Sadness reflected in Danny's eyes, remorse in Steve's. Neither moved. Contemplating,
"I should go," Danny started to get up.
Steve quickly shot out a hand and grabbed Danny's arm. "No, don't go. Not yet."
Danny quirked an eyebrow at him as he stood.
"Danny, I'm so sorry," Steve looked pleadingly up at him, hand still on his forearm.
"I know, Steve," Danny quietly said looking down, not looking at him. "So am I. About everything."
Turning his head to look at Steve, Danny's eyes were moist. He hurt. The sadness, guilt and pain reflected back to him from Steve's eyes did nothing to assuage his own guilty feelings. He felt like he was drowning in a whirlpool of emotions.
"You know I would never put Grace in danger. You know that, right?" Steve was hurting, too.
"Yeah, I know," Danny said barely above a whisper.
"Please sit back down, Danny. Please don't go." Steve's eyes added I need you.
Without saying a word, Danny lowered himself into the chair.
"Steve, I..." Danny started.
"No, it's my turn, Danny," Steve began, once more grasping Danny's arm. "Danny, I finally had an epiphany about why the Marquis means so much to me. My dad and I..."
"I know, Steve, and..."
Steve cut him off, "Look. The car means a lot to me because my dad and I worked on it together. But it's more than that. The ordeal with Wo Fat and thinking that my dad was alive... well, feelings I had long buried surfaced. The pain, the hurt, the betrayal of my father sending me away and the loneliness, the need I had for the closeness we once shared. Losing him again, even though it wasn't real, was gut wrenching."
Steve took a breath. Danny waited, not saying a word.
"I didn't realize the Marquis was my way of holding onto my dad emotionally. Maybe I should have, but I didn't. When the car was stolen, it was a knee-jerk reaction. I felt like I was losing my dad all over again."
They were both silent.
"I get it, Steve. I really do. I don't know everything you went through with that bastard Wo Fat, but I do know you loved your dad and you thought he was alive." Danny remembered feeling his heart being ripped out of his chest when Steve asked for his dad that day in Wo Fat's torture chamber.
"Yeah, I did. Sometimes at night I swear I hear him in the study. I've even gotten up to check just to make sure... I really miss him."
Danny's eyes misted up. He knew how Steve felt. And he felt guilty all over again for bad-mouthing the Marquis.
"Don't go there, Danny," Steve said, reading his mind. "From a strictly logical point of view, that car is just a bucket of bolts." Noticing that Danny was getting ready to protest, Steve once again cut him off. "It is, Danny. It's just that it was my dad's."
Running his hands through his hair, Danny responded, "I know, Steve, and I feel like the worst friend on the planet for making snarky comments about it. At that moment, I was worried about Grace. But I shouldn't have said what I did. That was insensitive of me."
Steve snorted just as he had taken a swig of his beer spraying it all over the front of his shirt. Danny handed him a napkin.
"Thanks," Steve said as he wiped his shirt off. "Well, let's talk about sensitivity, shall we?"
Danny didn't say anything. Usually he was the one who talked so much. This was a real role reversal.
"So, I wasn't very sensitive to your concerns about Grace now was I?" Steve asked while taking another swig.
"Well..."
"That was another rhetorical question, Danny," Steve smirked. "No, I was a jerk. Grace has been put in danger more than once since I've known you. Plus, you've just lost Matt. I was being a tool on the sensitivity meter."
Danny didn't quite know how to respond.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I can just imagine what you go through every time Grace is out of your sight. And you trusted her with me and I let you down over a car. A stupid car."
"Steve, please don't. I know you would never put Grace in jeopardy intentionally."
"No, I wouldn't, but I wasn't really thinking, Danny. Reyes threatened Grace. He may be dead, but I'm sure you worry about his comrades and potential repercussions of what happened." Danny's face told Steve that that was something Danny definitely worried about.
"And she's been exposed to other dangers because of your job, and Stan's, for that matter. So, it's my turn to say I'm sorry. Never, ever would I want to do anything to hurt Gracie or put her in harm's way. Or you."
Danny's eyes were filled with unshed tears. Sometimes his partner surprised the hell out of him. Steve's eyes were moist, teetering on filling up. He was bound and determined not to let them flow.
Danny reached over and put his hand on Steve's arm needing the physical connection. Steve gave him that cocky half-grin that Danny loved so much. And put his right hand over Danny's still on his arm.
Looking tenderly at his best friend, Steve said, "I may be the half-baked cookie, but I've always known you were the raw cookie dough, Danno."
Chuckling, he added, "You know, I always liked eating the dough straight from the bowl when I was a kid. It was so soft and gooey."
Danny punched him in the arm as a tear trailed down his face and they settled into comfortable silence. It was easy again. The way it should be.
Friendship not forgotten.
Steve broke the silence with one question. "So which one of us is cancelling the therapist appointment tomorrow?"
~ Pau ~
Just an itsy bitsy piece of McDanno for Ms. Phoebe. ;-) She deserves it for all her help with this story.
Note: cargumentluv, your story is getting there.
For those of you who wondered what happened to Dog, Cat and Me, it is being resurrected. A few of you know about my RL complications over the last year and how it kicked my posterior. I am now in full writer mode, at least for the moment, and if I can simultaneously resurrect my betas, DCM and my other incomplete stories will get done. This year. ;-)