Beneath the Promised Sakura Tree

A/N I've recently rewatched the Saiyuki series, and I still could not get over the Gaiden Rebels' (let's just call them that. Hahahas) deaths. Gosh, and their deaths just kept weighing on my mind and it made me all depressed and everything.

This fic was born out of a two-hour train ride and countless repetitions of Hikari no Kata he. Somehow, this didn't quite come out the way I pictured it, but I hope you guys will still like it. Tears were shed whilst this was being written. Couldn't help it, I had to go through the last few Gaiden manga over and over and over again to incorporate some of the quotes in. Plus I made myself look at their deaths to make sure I could TRY and get Goku's emotions.

Sorry if Goku seemed OOC here, but I'm thinking if he was made to go through all that shit again, it isn't weird for him to lose all his sanity right? Right? I don't know, leave a review telling me how this is for you kay?

Oh and if you didn't read through that entire chunk, I would recommend you to put Hikari no Kate he on repeat while you are reading this as it might set the ambience for you.

Disclaimer: None of the characters belongs to me etc etc. The amazing Kazuya Minekura is the one to thank for for these amazing characters.

It has been a normal day; their usual routine. Hakkai had been the first one up as usual, followed by Sanzo, Gojyo and lastly Goku. As usual, they broke their fast together at the inn before the three would leave Sanzo to his morning routine of the day's paper and tea whilst they stoked up on last minute supplies or whatever Goku had his eye on. They would usually meet back a little before noon before the four of them would jump into Hakuryuu and ride off in the direction of the setting sun.

During their journey, it wasn't surprising if they were to be attacked by a few hordes of minor youkai – perhaps even one which was able to entertain them for the better of an hour. After which they would continue on their journey, munching down on their lunches quickly before another stole theirs. A few gunshots would sound during this time but none of them would get seriously hurt or anything. Gojyo and Goku would then get into a game of poker where the former would cheat with the cards he hid under the seats and the latter would not notice that there had been six kings in their deck. Insert another round of perverted water kappa and perhaps baka saru and a gunshot – or three – before they would realise the next town would take another night's worth of driving and stop for the night. There was nothing unusual about this routine because it was one they often followed.

However, this time, after the group had left the inn, they had not met with a few hordes of youkai.

They met a God instead.

As soon as the God had introduced himself as Soufuki, Goku had grumpily exclaimed "But I'm hungry!" Hearing him, a smile that was sorrowfully tender appeared on Soufuki's lips. He waited patiently as the group of four got out of their jeep which then transformed back into the white little dragon, Hakuryuu. Sofuki's smile turned sad as he gazed at the five before him; he remembered them dearly even if none of them remembered him. He had been there when Goku was first brought before Kanzeon Bosatsu; during the Jade Emperor's birthday feast; Seiten Taisei's first appearance; and the rebellion afterward. He had lived through the impurities, the terrors and the deaths. He had helped remove the bodies; clean up the blood and gore; helped in the restoration of peace and order to the Upper world.

All these years just waiting. Regardless if it were ten years, a hundred years, five hundred years or even a thousand. Time was but mere concern to Gods. He waited and would continue waiting if they had not come along just yet. Yes, they were the reincarnations of their past selves. But they were mere shadows; nothing compared to who they were five hundred years ago.

"Son Goku, I have been waiting to meet you again." Soufuki said.

Goku looked towards the God. Soufuki had said the word again so they must have met before – but Goku could not recall this man at all. Glancing towards his companions, none of them showed a sign of recognition towards the God. His confusion must have showed on his face because Soufuki let out a chuckle before continuing.

"The last time we met, we were both still in the Upper world."

"Upper world? This baka saru's been in heaven? Are you fucking with us?" Gojyo laughed.

Goku glared at Gojyo, not knowing if he should be pissed that Gojyo had once again called him a baka saru or that he seemed surprised that Goku could have lived in heaven before. Goku decided that both were adequate reasons enough to yelled back at Gojyo. It would have worked had it not been for the very audible sound of the switching of the safety catch on a certain's monk's gun.

"I am not talking to you, hanyou Sha Gojyo." Soufuki scowled.

Gojyo's shakujo materialized into the palm of his left hand at that moment. His eyes narrowing directly onto Soufuki's form.

"You forgot the word: magnificent." Gojyo joked through gritted teeth.

"I have no use for you mortals. Only Goku." Soufuki said before turning a smile towards Goku once again.

"Excuse me, Mister God. You sound like you are in love with Goku." Hakkai interjected merrily.

"Only mortals talk about things like love," Soufuki replied flippantly. "Respect. That is what I feel towards Son Goku."

"Enough with the bullshit. Attack if you want to, if not, don't get in our fucking way. We are doing this only because you Gods asked us to." Sanzo spat out irritatedly as he cocked his gun, aiming it at Soufuki's forehead.

"Son Goku, how would you like to have your memories returned?" Soufuki asked, completely ignoring Sanzo, his entire focus settling onto Goku alone.

The gun went off; the bullet ricocheting off an invisible energy barrier surrounding Soufuki. Soufuki's gaze barely shifted; but even with just a slight shift in his focus, Sanzo was blasted off his feet and thrown backwards.

"SANZO!" yelled the rest of his companions as they rushed to their monk.

Gojyo and Goku stood in front of their fallen comrade with their weapons out as Hakkai checked him for wounds. Sanzo gave a gasp followed by a cough as he sat up from the ground. Throwing off the helping hand from Hakkai, Sanzo stood up brushing off the dirt from his robe before picking up his fallen gun.

"Well?" Soufuki asked, his attention once again only on Goku.

"You bastard!" Goku growled before he and Gojyo dashed forwards, each taking one side of Soufuki.

"Nyoibo!" Goku cried out as he swung Nyoibo down directly onto Soufuki as Gojyo's shakujo finished wrapping its chain around the God.

Without warning, Gojyo flew backwards, shakujo flying out of his hands, its chain disintegrating into dust. Soufuki's left arm flew out to block nyoibo's attack; his right forming an energy ball which threw Goku back. Soufuki decided that words were of no value at that instance and decided on his own that Goku would be so much happier with his memories back. In a split second, before anyone had an inkling of what was going to happen, a palm landed on top of Goku's head. Soufuki materialized before Goku, his green eyes shining with unnatural brilliance as he muttered just one word.

"KAI."

Bright green light engulfed everything. It blinded all four members of Sanzo's group; it shut out all the noise of the world; as though they had been thrown into a box that had been sunk into the deepest of the deepest ocean. Slowly, the green disappeared into nothingness, and pure white surrounded the four.

Blinking rapidly, Goku tried to will the dark spots that were dancing before his eyes away. He pushed himself up and glanced around him to spot his other companions; they quickly gathered without a word; back to back, facing the endless white. It felt as though time had stopped moving – and perhaps it had –, they had no idea how long they had been standing there waiting; waiting for something to happen. Anything to happen. The silence and the nothingness were slowly getting to them all. And then, it happened.

Golden light started to shimmer in front of Hakkai; a few specks at first as though it were just the bending of light. Then it grew bigger; taller and wider and soon it begun to take the form of men. One after another, three men materialized from the nothingness. Although they had known something like this was bound to happen, they had not expect to see their lookalikes. They were similar and yet vastly different.

Goku felt himself choke as hot tears burned from his eyes. He had no idea why he was suddenly crying as he looked towards the strangers. And then he started to weep; a terribly sad feeling started to squeeze at his heart. As though he ought to remember the men standing before him. Clutching tightly at his chest, Goku heard himself sobbing as his feet brought him forward unconsciously. He could not stop himself as he slowly closed the distance between them.

"Goku?" Sanzo called out, a tinge of worry hidden in his voice.

The sound of his name startled him out of his misery. Goku looked back at Sanzo and felt his feet come to a stop.

"Sanzo. I-I don't know why I'm crying. But it hurts – it hurts here." Goku whispered pointing directly at his heart.

"Goku."

The sound of something cracking resonated loudly around them as though thunder had just struck beside them all. Goku felt every nerve; every vein; every muscle freeze in his entire being. A voice he knew very well but had forgotten. A voice he had unconsciously yearned with every fibre in his being. A voice he loved very dearly once upon a time. The tears began to flow once again, running long streaks down the side of his face as Goku felt something tug deep within his mind. A feeling of fear grew; bigger than he ever allowed it to grow. Subconsciously, he knew something had happened. Something bad. Something he would give up the world for to stop it from happening again.

"Goku." Came the voice again.

Goku looked towards Sanzo and the others, unwilling to turn around to face the newcomers. He was afraid of what he would see – what he would remember. Hakkai threw aside his sense of danger and made his way towards the younger boy who needed him. At least he tried to; an invisible barrier now separated the two groups. Seeing this, Goku felt the fear overwhelm him; he turned his back to the newcomers and ran to the barrier, banging against it as hard as he could with his fists as though staying behind this barrier was going to kill him.

"SANZO! SANZO!" Goku cried out as though he were in pain.

His three companions rushed to the barrier before him; Hakkai trying to calm him down as Gojyo slashed at it with shakujo while Sanzo shot at it with his gun. It was all useless. There was barely a scratch on the barrier and Goku was getting more agitated with each passing moment from behind the barrier. His eyes were frantic with fear as he cried out their names repeatedly. Hakkai felt his hear wrench painfully as he watched the younger boy break down in front of him without being able to help him at all. By his side, Gojyo had started to curse at Soufuki, calling him every insult under the sun and moon as he glared around them trying to spot the damn God. Sanzo on the other hand was calm as always, he had stopped firing after the third shot and had started to study the situation.

Although Goku was breaking down in front of him, the three men behind him had done nothing but stand there and call him name. So what was making him so afraid? These men had to be involved somehow to the erased memories of Goku.

"Yah! Saru!"

Another thunder crash-like sound rang through the space as Goku fell to his knees, clutching his ears tightly as though it would be able to drown out the voice. A throbbing pain resonated from his mind as it slowly merged with the beating of his heart.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

IT HURTS.

When Goku started screaming, Hakkai started banging at the barrier – unable to stand his inability to help his friend any longer. The man with the long golden hair stepped forward, and Sanzo could see the similarities between them. The same droopy eyes; similar flat noses; thin lips. He stepped forward until he was just behind Goku before he lowered himself into a squat. His features softened from the frown he had before as he pressed a hand onto the head of Goku.

"Goku. If it hurts, you need to tell me."

It came to him first like a tidal wave of emotions; smothering him until he felt like he would die. Then it morphed, the strong waves turned into soft kisses from sakura petals that danced across his skin in the night wind. Golden hair, shining as brightly and as beautifully as the afternoon sun; blinding him and yet splashing his world with life and colour.

He remembered soft fingers and the smell of ink. He recalled the soft pink against the light blue sky. It was as though the lock on the box in his head dropped open and one word reverberated in his head.

Konzen.

"Konzen." Goku whispered softly, afraid that his voice would destroy the moment.

Goku opened his golden eyes to violet ones which he recognized. Memories he had created with this man reformed in his head and before he knew it, Goku had wrapped his arms around Konzen's waist; forcing Konzen onto his ass. Instead of getting angry, Konzen wrapped his arms tightly around the sobbing boy latched at his waist.

"Konzen! Konzen! Konzen!" Goku repeated frantically, his arms tightening with every word.

"What about me?"

"Ten-chan!" Goku releasing his hold on Konzen rushed and hugged Tenpou.

"Chibi saru."

"Ken-nii!" Goku cried, before hugging Kenren.

He remembered them. He remembered their time together. He remembered their voices; their names; their smell; their laughter; them. How he had forgotten them, he didn't know, but Goku swore that he would never let their memories escape him ever again. He allowed his emotions to settle down before laughter burst out from his lips.

"I missed you." Goku muttered.

"I am sure you did; so why don't you come back to heaven with us all?" Soufuki asked as he became visible from behind Tenpou.

Startled, Goku jumped away from Kenren and brought Nyoibo up before him.

"You have no need to fear me, Son Goku. Return to heaven with me and you will be able to be with Konzen Douji, Kenren Taisho and Tenpou Gensui again, exactly like before - forever."

Goku felt his heartstring tug at the thought of being able to be with Konzen and the others again. They could go drink sake under the sakura tree in heaven again; he could go climb the trees with Ken-nii again and have Ten-chan read him the book on all the buns again. He could be with Konzen again. Lowering his nyoibo, Goku looked at Soufuki, trying to see through the lies he was saying.

"Goku! Stop this bullshit pretend and kill that guy!"

Sanzo's voice snapped him out of his indecisiveness. Goku's eyes snapped around and found Sanzo glaring right at him. He knew that it was all a lie; he knew from his memories that it could not be real.

He knew that they could not be real.

Not anymore.

The pain pricked at his heart once again as he looked between Konzen and Sanzo. He knew who he had to choose; who he had to believe in.

"You lied Ken-nii. All of you lied! You said you were not going to leave me like Nataku did." Goku said quietly as he looked upon his former friends.

"But you did…"

Reluctantly, Goku steeled his heart, placing back the pieces he broke down before. He knew it was not real. They had gone to a place he could not reach – a place that if he wanted to go to, he would have to leave Sanzo and the others behind.

"Oh well, at least I tried." Soufuki shrugged before the mirage dissolved around them all.

"They can't say I didn't."

With a snap of his fingers, Konzen, Kenren and Tenpou's appearances changed.

Blood began to pool around Kenren's feet; his left eye covered in fresh blood that flowed from beneath his hairline. Blood covered his abdomen and chest, his face bruised and bloodied. Beside him, the colour red started to blossom from Tenpou's abdomen, seeping through the white of his coat and down his pants while blood dripped steadily from the battered face. And directly before him, Goku watched as Konzen's features morphed into pain as blood streamed down the sides of his face and lips. A patch of red was spreading slowly at Konzen's side, becoming steadily wider with each passing moment.

"Don't forget, they died for you." Soufuki laughed as Goku fell to his knees.

"All because of you."

"I bet they hurt like hell. Bet they regretted knowing you. Bet they hated you at the end."

A monstrous ache was throbbing painfully in his head. Goku felt a scream rip through his vocal cords, the intensity of the scream tore at his vocal cords forcing blood to pool at his throat. His hands flew up to clutch at his head as the pain enveloped his entirety. Another scream. More blood. More pain in his head.

"You caused their deaths. All because you selfishly wanted to be happy."

Goku wanted to reject the thought. He wanted to refute the lies Soufuki was sprouting but he couldn't. Every time he opened his eyes, he could see the pain the three were in and it caused his head to hurt even more. Another scream erupted from his body and Goku could do nothing but slam his head against the ground in an effort to lessen the pain.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING LIAR!" Gojyo screamed from behind the barrier.

"Did you know? Kenren taisho had his lower body crushed by a Nataku before being eaten alive." Soufuki continued excitedly.

"Can you imagine the pain your Ken-nii was in? His bones breaking while he was still awake. Those huge teeth tearing into him while he was still conscious."

"NOOOO!" Goku screamed, fresh tears pouring from his eyes as he tore his gaze away from the bleeding Ken-nii.

"And your precious Ten-chan had his guts hanging out of him as he bled to death on the floor as you ran away with your tail between your legs."

Goku started whimpering, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.

"I'm sure you remember this last one. Your beloved Konzen died right before you didn't he?"

Goku's eyes landed on the bloodied Konzen before him. He remembered. He remembered it all. The pain he felt then was nothing to what he was feeling now – having to relive his death again, knowing painfully that he was the cause of it.

"He died because of YOU!" Soufuki screamed.

Huge cracks materialized from all over the space and ran zigzag towards Goku and all of them ended at Goku's feet. A thunderous crack broke through the crackle of laughter from Soufuki as Goku's diadem broke into pieces. An inhumane scream tore through the space as Goku transformed into the Seiten TaiseI; his short hair grew just as his fingernails sharpened into claws. His pupils changed into slits as empty eyes looked up from beneath the fringe.

Seiten Taisei glanced at the bloodied bodies for a second before he charged for Soufuki. His anger was unmatched; his fury endless. His claws tore through the God as though he were made of paper but no blood ran. Confused, Seiten Taisei paused in his rampage to stare quizzically at the God. Soufuki laughed merrily as though he were having the time of his unnatural life.

"I am not that stupid to allow my real body near the Seiten Taisei."

Seiten Taisei growled impatiently as he scanned the area for Soufuki's flesh body. A flash of silver from his right attracted him to the Sanzo party. An animalistic grin formed on his face as he turned to face the mortals. With a tap, Seiten Taisei broke through the barrier and had Hakkai's slim neck in his claws – without a second delay, he brought his fangs down onto the shoulder and ripped a chunk of flesh of the bone. Blood gushed from the wound fiercely just as a scream tore through Hakkai's lips. With a flick of the wrist, Seiten Taisei threw Hakkai to the side as he spat out the piece of meat from his mouth – he liked the taste of blood, not flesh.

To his right, Gojyo quickly released the chain from his shakujo but before it could wrap itself around the crazed Goku, Seiten Taisei jumped to an inhuman height before landing a powerful kick onto Gojyo's stomach. Gojyo was flying before his body could even register the pain and hit the ground just as the pain grew from his abdomen. As he lay groaning in pain, Seiten Taisei appeared before him, his foot slamming down onto Gojyo's knee joint without hesitation. The joint shattered as though it were glass and Gojyo blanked out from the shock and pain.

Seiten Taisei turned, his lips pulled into a maniacal smile as his attention zoned in onto the last remaining mortal. Sanzo cocked his gun and fired towards Seiten Taisei; his bullets whizzed past Seiten Taisei as he raced towards the monk. Throwing aside his gun, Sanzo quickly started his chant and just as he shouted out "Makai Tenjo", Seiten Taisei landed hard on top of him forcing Sanzo onto his back. Sharp fangs sank into Sanzo's arms as he tried to force the monkey off his body – but to no avail. Blood ran from the puncture wounds but Seiten Taisei still refused to let go.

"GOKU!"

Seiten Taisei released the arm in his mouth and stared at Sanzo, his eyes showing the confusion in his head.

"Goku." "Goku."

Tears formed from the corner of the golden slits.

"Goku." "Goku."

He looked down at the unchanging violet eyes.

"Goku." "Goku."

The tears started to fall.

"FINISH HIM DAMN IT!"

Goku looked up from Sanzo, his gaze landing onto a semi-transparent figure some ways away and Seiten Taisei shot forward, faster than he ever was. Claws ripped through flesh and bone as blood ran and muscles tore. A silver bangle fell from a mangled arm and the illusion was destroyed. Sharpened ears grew and tattooed skin appeared. The demon tried to shout but his lungs had started to fill with blood. Seiten Taisei dropped the limp body from his arms, his hands folding into tight fists before he rained the blows down onto the dying demon. Over and over again, blow after blow, bones shattered under the torrent; organs ruptured; and the life leaked out from the demon.

Seiten Taisei only stopped when an arm pulled his back and turned him around.

"Back then, it was you who held your hand out to me first. It's such a nuisance but, not for anything in the world can I let go of your hand now."

Konzen pulled Goku into his embrace and held him there.

"I promised that next time I would be the one to reach for you."

Kenren rubbed his hand over Goku's head gently as he lowered himself into a squat next to Konzen, Tenpou following suit on the other side of Konzen.

"And we promised that even if we get separated, we will still meet under the same sakura tree in the Lower World."

"We're so happy to have met you. Goku."

Slowly, as if they were like petals in the wind, the three gods disappeared in a whirl of sakura petals, scattering away into everything. Goku watched as his exhausted body collapsed from the strain of having been Seiten Taisei. Strong arms caught him before he hit the ground as blonde hair like the sun came into his sight. With a sigh, Goku allowed his heavy lids to close and for his dreams to take control just as his diadem reformed upon his head.

When Goku opened his eyes, he found himself staring up into pink against the light blue sky. The sweet scent of sakura filled his lungs as he sat up, staring at the tree before him. He didn't know if he was still dreaming or if he had travelled back to five hundred years ago. The pink of the petals were brighter though; the whites at the center were more pure; and their scent sweeter than he ever remembered.

Finally tearing his gaze away from the flowers, Goku spotted his three companions seated at the base of the sakura tree, a bottle of sake being passed between them. Being the child that he was, Goku quickly wiped at the burning sensation in his eyes before jumping off the jeep. The white dragon flew past his cheek as it called happily making its way to the figures under the tree. Goku remembered everything from five hundred years ago, he remembered their faces, their names and…

Their deaths.

It hurt then. It still hurts now.

"HAKKAI! GOJYO!"

But he was stronger now. And he could protect them now – just as they had back then.

"SANZO!"