Chapter 3: The Letters from No One

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters, for I'm not British, I'm not female and I wasn't alive when the first book was made.

A/N: Sorry about the wait everyone, I've been a bit full on with my school starting again and updating my other story first so it's definitely been a while. Hopefully I'll find time to write some more chapters in the near distant future. Again please read and review, because honestly it makes me feel that more motivated, when there's people who read the stuff I write. So enjoy the chapter!

A/N 15/4/15: Changed a minor thing that I didn't like, apoligies for delay will delve into that more when next update comes out, which is hopefully soon

All those in the great hall were chatting amongst themselves today, waiting for their healer and Harry Potter to come back. Why you may ask? For Hogwarts was reading a book and at the end of the previous chapter said healer and Potter went to the hospital wing, thanks to what she found out about his home life in the previous chapters.

Harry and Madam Pompfrey soon returned, with Harry relieved to finally be relieved about being out of his second least favourite spot in the world probably- the Hospital Wing. Amusement was over many faces about the look on Harry's face as he returned to his seat, next to Ginny and the two marauders, with Ron and Hermione across from him.

"Who would like to read next?" Remus asked the room as a whole and to no one's surprise Hermione asked to read and started by reading

THE LETTERS FROM NO ONE

The … had started

"How long would that be?" Hermione asked hesitantly, already knowing she probably wouldn't like the answer.

"5-6 weeks," Harry muttered.

"WHAT!" Most people (lead by those closest to Harry) jumped up and looked ready to kill the Dursleys, revive them and kill them again.

"Guy's I'm here, I didn't like it, but there isn't any point in getting angry about the crap that happened to me years ago, because we can't change that stuff. But what we'll end up learning later, is stuff that could help us change things- THAT is what we need to concentrate on," Harry delivered a fine speech, resulting in applause and hugs from those around him

and … crutches.

"Charming," Paravrti sniffed.

Harry … school.

"No you were going to Hogwarts," Neville started somewhat hesitantly.

"I didn't know that Hogwarts existed at that stage Nev, but I get to find out soon in this story, but it involves a hut, Vernon losing his mind, a visitor and a pigs tail," Harry told him with a wink towards Hagrid, which was sent straight back at Harry.

Dudley … funny.

Fred and George looked disgusted at this

"They … practice?"

Hermione looked disgusted at this, before she read the line ahead and snorted, which got her odd looks before she continued

"No, … said.

Most of the hall started laughing or for the more restrained people such as McGonagall, smiling. "You know Harry, that's something you would have heard out of Lily's mouth," Remus told him.

"Really?" Harry asked in excitement at the hearing about his mother and something he had in common with her.

"Really," Remus confirmed.

"Harry, I must say," Fred started.

"We should be dissaipointed in you," George continued.

"All this potential,"

"Wasted so far,"

"Join us in the name of pranks!" The twins finished with a shout, with Harry shaking his head with amusement.

One … years.

"Having chocolate for years and not eating it!" Remus said incredously.

"Remmy has a chocolate addiction, chocolate addiction," Harry sang with barks of approval from Snuffles.

That … tailcoats,

The boy shuddered

orange knickerbockers,

The girls looked sick

And flat … life.

"How?" A young hufflepuff asked incredously.

"Don't ask me!" Harry replied after the looks given to him.

Minerva was muttering about no wonder the child turned out how it did and yet again Snape was thinking about how he should be surprised but how he really wasn't.

As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life.

"Must be a pretty rubbish life then," Ron said, getting a glare sent back at him.

Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.

The looks that the Dursleys were getting were just flat out dumbfounded. "Are you guys sure that your sane or what?" Bill asked them and getting silence in reply.

Harry … laugh.

"We see your pain, Harry, We really do," The twins said solemnly

There … water.

People were muttering to their neighbours, talking about what on earth those rags were.

"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.

"Your new school uniform," she said.

"Er that isn't Hogwarts uniform," Parvati said.

"I didn't know I was going to Hogwarts then, I thought I was going to Stonewall," Harry replied.

Harry looked in the bowl again.

"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."

"Harry are you really that stupid?" Hermione asked him.

"Of course not Hermione, I was using this thing called sarcasm, probably could be found in a dictionary," Harry shot back, ironically enough, sarcastically, Remus and snuffles smiled at each other, remembering Lily's sarcasm, which was living on through her son.

"Don't … finished."

People looked incredulous at that. When he was wearing that, just from the description it was obvious he wouldn't look normal.

Harry … paper.

"Wait, wait, wait, they made him do something," Justin muttered to Ernie with a nod in Dudley's direction.

"I call BS personally," Ernie muttered back.

"Make Harry get it."

"Get the mail, Harry."

"I told you so," Ernie muttered

"Make Dudley get it."

"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."

"He approves of it!" Mrs Weasley and many others exclaimed.

"Dear, from what we've already been told that probably isn't even the worse," Mr Weasley reminded her.

"But still, demon spawn, horrible parents," she muttered.

Harry … Marge,

A smirk re-appeared on Harry's face at the mention of Marge which was shared by Ron. Good times, good times.

Who … back?

"Such a pessimist," Ginny muttered. Even though she disliked it, she couldn't blame him. Given the way he was treated as a child, she really couldn't blame him.

Yet … lion,

"GRYFFIONDOR!" Said Lions roared

An eagle,

"RAVENCLAW!" The Ravens yelled

A badger,

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The badgers shouted.

And a snake

Mere applause came from the Slytherin table.

Surrounding a large letter H.

"HOGWARTS!" Most of the school roared at once.

"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.

Due to his pathetic attempt at humour, one of the twins mock fainted, but who could blame him?

Harry went back to the kitchen,

"Why didn't you open it in the hall?" Anthony Goldstein asked.

"I was in a state of a shock and again I was only 10," Harry defended himself.

Still … porridge.

"Charming," Tonks mused, before trying it herself

"P-P-Petunia!" … Vernon!"

"Drama Queens," Susan snorted, meanwhile Snape thought, 'Same old Petunia.'

They … stick.

The Weasleys (Include Honorary members i.e. Harry and Hermione) shared a look imagining what would happen if that happened in the Weasley household.

"I … move.

"Here we go!" George said, which got him odd looks until Fred continued with

"Famous Harry Potter Temper coming right up people!" with nods from Ron, Hermione and Ginny.

I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.

"Told you so," George said smugly, while most people where pretty shocked that someone who was usually so mild-mannered, quiet and shy like Harry had a temper like that.

"You know, even though you look like your father, your personality really is similar to your mother's as your wit and temper helps to show," Remus mused.

"Let … floor.

Those who were around in Harry's first year had a look at him, thinking of him back then and Dudley, before Ron commented, "Points for trying I guess."

"Vernon," … wildly.

"Even though you're muggles, it's good to always have CONSTANT VILGANCE!" Moody started out saying then all of a sudden roared making those who either were un-aware of his antics or forgot about them, jump.

"But … nonsense?"

A deathly silence came across the hall at this statement.

"Did we just hear correctly Harry?" Ginny asked in a sweet voice, which fooled no-one.

"Yes, you did," Harry replied, knowing there was no way out and from the looks Madam Pompfrey was giving him, he would be going back to the hospital wing, yet again and from some of the looks, Dumbledore might be joining him.

That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.

"How did he fit in there?" Colin Creevey asked him incredously.

"Sorry, it should say his neck," Harry reassured him.

"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"

"No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly.

"I have burned it."

A gasp came across the room at thought of burning something as precious as a Hogwarts letter. Madam Bones was mentally thinking about how many charges she could arrest the Dursley's with.

"It … painful.

"I feel so sorry for you mate having to look at that," George commented.

"Indeed, it was hard to look at that," Harry recalled.

"Er - … bedroom.

"Wait! Can you repeat that please Hermione?" Remus asked his fury lining his face

"Sure thing, 'Dudley's second bedroom,'" Hermione said with equal fury on her face, the Dursley's were really going to dislike what was going to happen after Harry leaves.

"Why?" said Harry.

"Why were you questioning it mate?" Ron asked. "It was the nicest thing they had ever done to you."

"That was the exact reason I questioned it Ron."

"Don't … bedroom.

There was even more fury starting to be spread across the room at this revelation. Remus was really considering doing a Greyback and just targeting them next full moon, Snuffles was considering actually committing part of the crime he was put in Azkaban for and others were considering joining him.

It … on it.

There was confusion across the room for the Muggle-borns with just how much stuff that the Dursley's would let Dudley get away with. It was ludicrous. They would probably be murdered, brought back and murdered again if they did anything close to that.

Other … touched.

Hermione and the Ravenclaws looked scandalized at that fact.

From … stick,

Looks were again exchanged between those thought to be Weasleys about what the response would be to that if someone did that in the Burrow. It wouldn't be pretty.

been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof,

"Ah yes, R.I.P Turtle," Harry said

"But he was a tortoise Harry," Hermione said confused.

"Yes, but his name was Turtle, Dudders was never known for his I.Q.," Harry clarified.

and … it.

Ernie and Justin looked at each other shocked, thinking of their whispered conversation.

They … behind.

The Trio exchanged grins at this, reminded of another time Harry had done something like that. "Is that habit or something mate?" Ron asked with a grin on his face.

"Guess so mate, guess so," Harry said with an equally big grin, which resulted in confused looks at them, mostly wondering what on earth they were thinking.

After … plan.

Groans were shared between all of the 5th year Gryffindor's, plus Fred, George, Ginny and Remus.

"HEY!" Harry exclaimed. "My plans aren't that bad and besides Remus why are you groaning?"

"Because you're just like your parents in so many ways and none of them made the best of plans beforehand. On the spot they were good, but not before hand, so I'm assuming you take after them then?" Remus explained, finishing with a grin.

"Definitely," Hermione said, while the twins and Ron were making jokes about Harry's plans with an 'OI!' from the boy himself, making it even more entertaining.

The ... alive!

"What was it?" Dennis Creevey exclaimed.

"Un-pleasant," Harry replied, drawing confused looks.

Lights … face.

"Ah, I see then," Dennis saw what Harry had meant and so had many others.

Uncle … eyes.

"Now that's just flat out cruel," Pravarti said, shock lining her features. She considered Harry to be one of her friends and for someone to do that to one of her friends, she hated it. Fully and absolutely hated it.

Uncle … me,"

"And that's a good thing," Bill said, pissed at what Harry had to call relatives. Sure he wasn't that close to him, but he considered him family and he couldn't imagine how Harry managed to put up with them.

Said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake

"Really, fruitcake, really," Dean said, surprised.

Aunt … noises.

"CONSTANT VILGANCE!" Mad-Eye roared making many people follow Vernon's example and jump.

On … amazement.

"The Magical world!" Fred and George said cheerfully.

On … one.

As one, people looked at Harry like he was stupid. "Why wouldn't you get one that had fallen onto the floor?" Michael Corner asked him.

"No idea… seeker instincts? Maybe the fact that I was 10?" Harry said, contemplating.

"Out! … Argue.

"Now that might been enough for a Patronus memory to be honest with you," Harry mused.

Ten … bag.

Those who knew the muggle world snorted. Thinking you could pack all that in a sports bag! Ridiculous!

They … this.

"CONSTANT VILAGANCE!" Moody yelled.

They … wondering...

"What were you wondering mate?" Dean asked him.

"Who on earth was sending those letters."

They … disappeared.

"He went mad a long time ago Dudders," Harry informed him.

It … day.

After Hermione sniffled at the thoughts of the presents the Dursley's gave, she opened her mouth before Harry clarified, "I meant turning 11."

Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package

Hermione narrowed her eyes in thinking but continued.

And … there.

"Beautiful," Hannah remarked.

"Storm … boat!"

"With that forecast, really, are you that stupid?" Ginny asked them incredously.

A … rooms.

"Sounds charming Harry," Seamus muttered to him.

"That description makes it sound better then what it was Seamus," Harry informed him.

Uncle … all.

"Because it meant I thought the same as him," Harry said, shaking his head as if he still isn't proud about it.

As … blanket.

Snuffles did his best to growl as loud as possible and given that everyone heard him, he succeeded.

The … now.

"In either my office or my house, changing between laughing at some of the ideas and wondering what on earth was happening," McGonagall informed them. Some people looked shocked at the idea of the professor laughing.

Five … him

"Harry m'boy" Fred started.

"Excellent thinking!" George finished.

- Three... two... one...

BOOM.

The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.

"Who was it?" Most of the hall asked, with Harry and Hagrid sharing a grin, that Hermione joined in with after she saw the title.

"I believe that is something that Hagrid can answer, after Harry and Madam Pomrfrey come back," she said, as said boy was being dragged off at that very moment.

The minute Harry left the room, people jumped out of their seats do a few things. One of them was to give Dumbledore the yelling of a life time (lead by Remus, McGonagall, Mrs Weasley and Ginny) and the Dursley's a hexing of a life time (lead by Ron, Neville (which surprised many), Hermione and the other Weasleys) which somehow managed to surpass the previous hexing of them after the previous chapter. When that was all over, Ginny noticed the curious movement of galleons moving around the room. About what? No clue. But as it turned out as she was chatting to Neville and those around him, Ron and Hermione not too far away were having a fiercely whispered conversation.

"It's gotta be 3rd year Hermione, I'm telling you, when Harry gets all those memories, it'll be then, I swear," Ron said stubbornly.

"No way Ron, It'll be 2nd when the re-visit the chamber scene, that's when it'll happen," Hermione said equally stubborn.

"What are you talking about?" Remus chimed in.

"Talking about our bet placement for when Harry and Ginny will get together," Hermione informed him.

"She reckons our 2nd year, but I think our 3rd year, because of the dementors," Ron told him.

"I've got to say guys, from what I've heard, I reckon it'll be 2nd year as well," Remus informed them of his thoughts.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ginny suddenly asked them.

"What year will be the most satisfying with any possible arrests," Remus smoothly lied.

"See me and Remus reckon 2nd year with Malfoy and everyone knowing about Lockhart, while Ron reckons Pettigrew in 3rd year will just be good enough," Hermione caught on.

"Why not the whole lot in 4th year though?" Ginny inquired.

"Hadn't thought about that," Ron admitted.

Thus as this conversation came to a finish shortly, Mr Potter came walking back in, to begin Chapter 4: The Keeper of Keys.

A/N: Well that's the end of the chapter then. I'd like to apologise for how long it has been with no update. I had been busy with school but I got the time to write this about a fortnight or so ago, but quite honestly it wasn't good enough and only about 2,500 words or so and was poor quality. So I've spent some time just going over it and here's the result. Also has of quite recently there is a 'full' version of this over at Archive of Our Own, if you want to read that there. Hopefully it won't be as long before the next update and again, reviews are nice :)