HEY! Hi. Hello. So, this isn't something I usually do, as you can tell if you've read me before or taken a glance at my Story List, but The Hobbit is my favorite book and at the moment favorite movie series, and I uh... I needed to do it.

Please don't hurt me.

So, with the held of an online script created by fans (thanks to whoever y'all are), we will be having a rollicking good time in the life of my character. I hope y'all enjoy, and please, R&R before I decide to post another chapter because I honestly don't know if this is good or not.

Love you.

To Middle-Earth!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Maybe I Won't Go Back Again: Part 1)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Maybe I Won't Go Back Again: Part 1)

"Yo, it's time we drop the beat

In the middle of this summer's heat

It's Cheyanne coming at ya

With lyrics no one can beat, bruh."

Cheyanne was grinning before she even finished, and by the last word, she was choking back laughter. Jon leaned around the camera he was holding and gave her a questioning look. She held up a finger, chuckled for a moment, snorted, hiccuped, and cleared her throat.

"Alright," she breathed when she was done. "Go ahead."

"One take, Chey!" Jon exclaimed, setting down the camera. "We agreed on one take!"

Jon Davenport may have been her best friend, but he clearly didn't know that there was no way she could do anything in one try. The blonde male lifted a thin eyebrow at her, waiting for a response.

Cheyanne merely lifted her shoulders in a shrug. Jon sighed and rolled his blue eyes. "I'm sorry!" she told him. "But I can't take these lyrics seriously."

"You're hopeless," said Jon. "You told me you could do it in one take without laughing."

"That was before I started to say these out loud," Cheyanne replied. She shuffled through the papers. "How am I supposed to act serious when these lyrics are hilarious?"

"You asked me to write you a funny rap that you could sing seriously too," Jon reminded her. "Obviously, I'm not The Lonley Island.'"

"But you write stuff for yourself that's funny, and you don't laugh," Cheyanne said. She tilted her head at him. "How do you do it?"

Her friend could only shrug. He motioned towards his camera. "You want to do this or not?"

"I guess not." Cheyanne gazed at him forlornly. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

Jon grunted and clicked off the handheld camera. He glanced over at her as he slid it into his bag and grinned. "You couldn't ever waste my time, Bilbo Baggins."

"Gods damn you, Jon Davenport!" Cheyanne growled at him as he reached up to turn on the ceiling fan. It was summer in Texas, and hot as hell. "I do not look like Bilbo Baggins. I do not look like Martin Freeman. I am Cheyanne Phillips, and I am my own person."

"No. You are Bilbo Baggins. The female version of Bilbo Baggins." Jon paused and furrowed his brow. "Is Cheyanne an appropriate name for a hobbit?"

"Yes," Cheyanne sighed against her will. "I looked it up the first time we discussed this, remember?"

Jon smirked at her. "Then you are Cheyanne Baggins, Bilbo Baggins's cousin, or something." When Cheyanne continued to glare at him, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. With a few taps, he turned the screen to face her, and she saw a picture of Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins right next to a picture of herself. She studied it for a moment, and then lifted her eyes to Jon's. "Okay, so, there may be a slight resemblance."

"Relatives," corrected her friend. He put his phone back in his pocket. "Definitely. You'll need to look into that."

"Martin Freeman is English!" exclaimed Cheyanne. "I'm Texan! I even have an accent!"

"So does he," Jon reminded her.

Cheyanne marched over to her front door and pulled it open. "Out," she ordered, pointing into the hallway.

Jon submissively walked out into the hall outside of her apartment and stood before the doorway. "I'm telling ya," he said as she started to close the door. "You should really look into your family tree."

"Goodbye Jon. I love you." Cheyanne shut the door fully and shook her head at his ridiculousness. "Family tree. Bah."

All the same, she wandered into the bathroom and gazed at her reflection. If she looked like Bilbo Baggins/Martin Freeman at all, it was only because of her eye color and curly brown hair. Those were really the only similarities between the two of them. With a sigh, she pulls her phone from her back pocket. "Okay Google," she said, and immediately the Google search engine appeared. "Bilbo Baggins images."

Her phone did as she asked, and in a moment, her screen was filled with mini images of Martin Freeman as he appeared in the movies based on The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Chey tapped one of the more profile picture looking images and studied his face. Okay, she had to admit, their noses were pretty similar. But they definitely had different lips!

Rolling her eyes, she closed the internet window on her phone and put it back in her pocket. Shaking her head at her reflection, she exited the bathroom and went back into the living room. Plopping down on the couch, she kicks her feet up on the cushions and reaches for the remote.

"Oh, right," she sighed when she saw what was on. They had been watching The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey before Jon had remembered he'd written the rap she'd asked for. "Of course."

She clicked play on the DVD remote and allowed the movie to resume, but she didn't focus on it. Instead, she covered her eyes with her arm and decided she was going to take a nap. She fell asleep to Thorin Oakenshield and the rest of the company of dwarves singing.

Cheyanne removed her arm from over her eyes when the singing of the dwarves abruptly ended and was replaced by the sound of birds tweeting. She blinked a few times to find trees overhead of her, and immediately she sat up in surprise and perhaps even a little bit of fear.

She gazed around. It seemed she was lying in a forest. Somewhere. Just a dream, she thought to herself. Has to be. Indeed, when she pinched herself, it barely hurt.

"Alright," she said, climbing to her feet. "Let's see what we've got going on here."

"Hallo!" someone called from behind her. She turned at the voice and saw a familiar looking… Person, walking towards her. As soon as he reached her, she understood why he looked so familiar. It was Balin, one of the dwarves from The Hobbit. He was a few inches shorter than she was, which was impressive, considering she was only 5 foot.

She grinned down at him. "Hello to you."

"What are you doing out in the woods?" Balin questioned. "It's strange to find someone out and about so near sunset."

"If that's the truth, I should be asking the same of you, dwarf," she answered easily.

Balin's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized her. She glanced down and saw she was still wearing her booty shorts and t-shirt with the BioShock Infinite logo across it. "You're not from around these parts, are you?" the old dwarf asked after gazing at her a moment longer.

Well, this is a dream, she thought to herself. Why not tell him? "No, actually," she told him. "I'm from Earth. It's a long, long way from here."

"Huh," commented Balin with a lifted eyebrow. "Never heard of it."

"Yes, I wouldn't think you would have. It's little known here in Middle-Earth." Cheyanne glanced around. "So, are you on your way to Bilbo's house?"

This clearly sparked Balin's interest if her answer about Earth hadn't. He tugged on his curled beard and gazed up at her questioningly. "Now how do you know about that?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I can tell the future."

"Hmm." Balin looked wary. Clearly, he didn't know what to make of her. "What else do you know?"

"Well." Cheyanne looked up at the sky. "I know you're going to the house of Bilbo Baggins to meet up with 12 other dwarves and Gandalf the Gray to go on an expedition." She decided to leave out the part she knew about Erebor. Who knew what would happen in her dream if she said she knew about that?

Balin wasn't wary now. He looked impressed, in fact. "How did you know all of that?"

Cheyanne shrugged again. "Like I said, I can tell the future."

The dwarf tilted his head at her. "What is your name, and your race?"

"My name is Cheyanne Phillips," she answered. "As for my race, I am an extremely short human."

"I see," Balin said. "Cheyanne, where do you actually come from?"

Her jaw stiffened. "I'm from Earth! You don't know where it is because it doesn't exist in your world here."

"What do you mean?" asked the dwarf.

Cheyanne took a deep breath. "I'm dreaming. You are a fictional character who has found his way into my dream. When I wake up, I'll most likely remember none of this."

Now Balin looked concerned for her sanity. "Yes, that would explain your… Choice of wardrobe," he said at last. He clearly didn't believe her in the slightest, or thought she was crazy. Because of this, he turned away from her and continued on down the road towards the Shire.

"Hey!" Cheyanne called after him. "Can I come, too?"

Balin didn't stop, and she sighed, her shoulders slumping. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to go. So, without waiting for a response, she trailed after the dwarf to follow him to Bilbo's house.

Balin knew she was following him; she was almost one hundred percent certain of that. But he didn't turn to chastise her, and so she assumed he didn't mind it.

They walked along the forest path for quite some time. Cheyanne recognized it as the path Frodo runs to meet Gandalf on in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She was tempted to join Balin further up the path, but decided against it. He may ask her to leave, and she wasn't sure if she wanted too just yet.

After they had been walking for quite some time, Chey finally spotted the Shire through the trees. Balin halted at the edge of the forest and turned to her.

"Alright," he began, "since you seem to know a bit about our plans, care to lead me to Mr. Baggins's house?"

Cheyanne looked past him to the village ahead. She could see Bilbo's house from where they were standing, it's bright green door like a beacon to her through the setting sun.

She nodded to Balin. "'Course," she replied. "Follow me."

Confidently, she started towards the hole in the ground. In that hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. It wasn't a nasty, dirty, wet hole, if the movie was correct.

Okay Chey, she said to herself. Getting a little too Tolkien. Calm down.

Hobbits who were just beginning to disappear into their homes stared at them with interest and confusion as they walked by. Cheyanne didn't blame them; it wasn't very often you saw a human and a dwarf walking through the Shire.

Balin appeared to be wishing they weren't drawing so much attention to themselves. He kept hiding from the prying gazes of the Hobbits, tugging on Cheyanne's shirt.

"Are you positive we're going the right way?" he asked her, worried.

They had reached Bilbo's house by then. Cheyanne merely gestured to the front door, where Gandalf's mark was glowing brightly.

As soon as he saw this, Balin hmphed in satisfaction and knocked on the green door.

Bilbo pulled it open a moment later, and studied them both with wide eyes.

"Evening," Balin greeted. He bowed low. "Balin, at your service."

Cheyanne bowed as well. "Cheyanne," she said, and then, copying Balin, "at your service."

"Hello," greeted Bilbo, cautious.

Dwalin appeared behind him, and Balin held out his arms. "Ah!" he said, ducking by Bilbo to talk with his brother. Cheyanne did the same, smiling apologetically at the hobbit as she did so.

Dwalin and Balin disappeared into the dining room, leaving Bilbo to scamper after them. Cheyanne followed more slowly, and walked in to Balin taking the rest of Dwalin's food. Bilbo hurried to get more, almost like he was in a trance.

There was another knock on the door. Bilbo reappeared instantly and hurried towards the front hall, dropping the platter he had gathered on the table.

Cheyanne chose to sit down with the dwarves. She was hungry, too.

Dwalin scrutinized her as she picked up a piece of bread. "Who's this one?" he asked Balin.

"I'm Bilbo's distant cousin," she put in before Balin could respond. When the old dwarf looked at her, she shrugged. "So I was messing with you. Who cares?"

Bilbo reappeared, behind Fili and Kili, who were both grinning already. Cheyanne marveled over how cute they both were.

They, too, studied Cheyanne as soon as they had sat down. "Who are you?" Fili queried while Kili asked' "Are you coming on the journey, too?"

Cheyanne nodded to Kili's question while answering Fili's. "Bilbo's distant cousin Cheyanne Baggins. Gandalf asked me to accompany you all."

This answer seemed to be enough for the both of them. They looked at one another and shrugged before turning their attention to the food on the table.

Bilbo wasn't happy with her words. "Cousin?" he asked, almost to himself.

"Oh Bilbo!" Cheyanne exclaimed. "I can't believe you've forgotten about me. Surely you're joking?"

Bilbo blinked at her, still confused. "Of course," he said at last. "Cousin. Sorry."

There was another knock on the door. Bilbo disappeared to answer it.

The rest of of the company appeared with him. Gandalf strode in behind them all, and his gaze locked on Cheyanne.

After a moment of studying her, he smiled. "Cheyanne, glad to see you could join us."

She grinned and dipped her head. "Wouldn't miss this for the world."

Wow! she mused silently. I'm talking to Ian McKellen. This is a great dream.

Several minutes later, she was sitting with Gandalf at the head of the table while the dwarves were busy eating and talking loudly to one another.

"Hmm," mused the wizard from beside her. "We appear to be a dwarf short."

Cheyanne waves this off. "He's late, I'm sure of it. Probably went to meet with their kin."

Dori scampered to Gandalf, a tiny cup of wine in his hands. "Your wine, sir."

"Ah," Gandalf said, taking it "Thank you."

He gazed at Cheyanne scrupulously over the cup. She stared back, lifting an eyebrow. "Problem?"

"Not at all," the wizard responded. "I'm just impressed with you. What they say seems to be true."

"'Course it is!" Cheyanne responded, not sure what he was talking about but not really caring. She was having to much fun.

Bilbo scurried around from there to there, trying to stop the dwarves from eating all his food. It didn't seem to be working out to well for her "cousin". Cheyanne excused herself from Gandalf's side and went to help Bilbo.

"Alright!" she shouted above the dwarves' loud talking. "That's enough. Bilbo would like his pantry to stay full, please."

Dori scoffed and gestured towards the small closet at the back of the kitchen. "May be too late for that already, lassie," he said.

Bilbo groaned under his breath and crept to the pantry. Cheyanne saw him open it and heard him moan when it saw it was completely barren. He crawled back to her and let out an annoyed sigh. "I think I'll never have visitors over again."

"Mister Bilbo?" Ori called down the table. "Where do you want my plate?"

"Ah, here Ori!" Fili called. "Toss it to me."

Ori did just that, and in turn, Fili threw it to Kili, who sent it over Cheyanne's head to where Bifur had gotten up and was standing by the sink in the kitchen.

Bilbo turned pale beside her as the other dwarves started to throw their own plates towards Bifur. He managed to catch them all, even at the alarming rate they were flying.

"Please refrain from throwing my mother's dishes," said Bilbo over the clatter of plates in the sink. "They're a very expensive set."

The dwarves, ignoring him, start to beat a rhythm on the table with their fists and utensils.

"And can you please not do that?" Bilbo exclaimed, grabbing a knife from Nori's hands. "You'll blunt them!"

That sent up a laugh and Bofur said, "You hear that lads? He said we'll blunt the knives!"

Kili starts to sing, and the other dwarves join in as they continue to toss dishware to Bifur. Cheyanne leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and watched Bilbo hurry around the room to try and save the plates.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

When you've finished, if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll

...

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

As soon as the song was over, there was a loud knocking on the front door. Gandalf stood and eyed the dwarves one by one.

"He's here," he said.

Cheyanne sat up with a yawn, fairly disappointed that her dream had gotten cut short.

A glance out her window, however, revealed that her nap had gone on a bit longer than she had intended. It was dark outside.

"Dammit," she sighed to herself. "Now I won't fall asleep tonight. I have work tomorrow!"

She switched off the TV, which was running through the credits of The Hobbit. She yawned again and stood, waddling to her bedroom. She flicked on the light and walked over to her computer. Cracking her fingers as she sat down in her desk chair, she decided that as long as long she was awake, she may as well write down what her dream had been about. It was unusual for her to remember a dream she had, so she chose to document it before it left her brain for good, like most of her dreams did.

She opened up a Notepad and started to type; I wake up on a dirt path in the middle of the woods. The sun is beginning to set, casting everything in a orangish-glow...

About thirty minutes later, she had typed it all out. She saved the Notepad and turned around in her desk chair, grabbing for her phone as she did so.

She texted a quick message to Jon: had a crazy dream during my nap. stop by Dreamers' tomorrow for a story?

After she'd showered and brushed her teeth, she came back to a glowing screen.

Yeah! Can't wait to hear it.

She grinned and printed up the Notepad she'd written on before sliding it into her bag.

When that was done, she fell onto her bed and snuggled under the covers, a sleep grin growing on her lips. Maybe if she fell asleep, she'd finish out her dream.

The next day, she slid into Dreamers' Books and Other Media just before she was late, her bag safely dangling off of her arm.

"Cheyanne!" Mr. Hoffman shouted through the door leading to the back room.

"I'm a minute on time, Gary," she yelled back, moving behind the counter to go through the door. She found Mr. Gary Hoffman standing over a box, rustling through it.

He was an aging man, and not aging gracefully. The top of his head was bald, and the hair that he did have was pure white. It matched his full beard. Wire rim glasses covered small rheumy green eyes, and were set over a bulbous nose. Thin lips pursed as he glanced up from his box and studied her.

"Can't you ever try to look presentable?" he muttered under his breath.

Cheyanne glanced down. She was wearing jeans and a long sleeved blue button up. She met Gary's eyes.

"You're lucky I wore jeans instead of shorts."

Gary huffed, and Cheyanne joined him next to the box. She reached in and pulled out one of the items inside. "New books?" she queried. "We just got a new shipment two weeks ago."

"And those books are already almost gone," Mr. Hoffman replied, taking the book from her. "We needed new books, and so I bought some."

Cheyanne took back the book and read the title. "Amulet of Cryalium," she mused. "Sounds interesting. What's it about?"

"Read it on your break," Gary said, turning back to the box. He lifted it up and pushed it into her hands. "Here, go shelf these."

He grabbed his cane and started for the door. Cheyanne hurried after him, her back arching because of the size of the box.

"Speaking of breaks," she said, "I have something for you to read on yours."

"Cheyanne, you know I don't take breaks," said Gary, holding the door open for her. She walked around the the counter and headed towards the shelves.

"I know, but I think I have something this time!" she told him as she started putting books on the shelves. The three Amulet of Cryaliums went up on the Fantasy shelf first.

"Cheyanne." Mr. Hoffman sounded annoyed. "I'll read it if I have time, alright?"

She grinned at him from over the shelf and nodded fiercely. Gary shook his head and opened the cash register with a ding!

The bell over the store's door rang cheerfully, and Jon hurried inside, face flushed from the heat outside. He pulled up short when Gary glared at him from over his glasses.

"Sorry, G," he apologized.

Cheyanne waved him over. Jon joined her by the shelf and leaned close. "It's in the back room," she whispered, "in my bag."

"I can't go back there and get it!" her friend complained.

Cheyanne passed him the copies of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea she was holding. "You shelve these, and I'll go get it," she said.

Leaving Jon with the books, she scooted closer to the counter and started into the back room.

"Where are you going?" Gary demanded from behind her.

She stopped and looked at him from over her shoulder. He had his hands on his hips and was giving her a look.

"Jon wants to read the thing I told you about," she said. "I'm going to get it for him."

"You need to go do you job," Mr. Hoffman replied, ushering her away from the door. "I'll go get this... Whatever it is. Where is it?"

"In my bag, but-"

"I'll get it," Gary cut her off, and he disappeared through the door.

Cheyanne sighed and returned to Jon. He'd shelved Leagues and had moved on to Great Expectations. He glanced up as she walked over.

"Why'd he do that, you think?" he asked her.

"He wants to read it without me knowing," she responded dismissively. "He does it all the time."

"Doesn't it bother you?" Jon asked her as she pulled her own stack of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone from the book and started to put them on the shelf.

Cheyanne shrugged. "No. I kind of like it, actually. The fact he keeps reading them makes me think he likes 'em."

Jon finished with Expectations and bent down to pull out another stack. He emerged with the next book in the Harry Potter series and ran his thumb down the pages.

"What's the new one about, Miss Baggins?" he asked her at last.

Cheyanne reached down for a new stack and pulled out Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. She let out a breath and held up the book. "Let's just say Tolkien and Peter Jackson visited me."

A half hour later, and they were out of books. The shelves were full once again, showing off the covers of popular and new titles that some people may love already, or may come to love.

Cheyanne was about to reach for Amulet of Cryalium when the door to the back room opened and Gary shuffled out, holding the printed papers in his hands.

He lifted his eyes and met Cheyanne's from across the shop. Without saying a word, he set the papers down on the counter and gestured for her to approach. She replaced Amulet on the shelf and did so, aware of Jon watching them both closely.

Gary let out a breath when she was standing across the counter from him. He shuffled through the three papers before him and looked at Cheyanne. His green eyes were sparkling.

"This," he began, "needs to be finished."

"Why?" Cheyanne asked him, breathless.

Mr. Hoffman pulled off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt. As he's slid them back on, he met her eyes again. This time, he was grinning. "Every great beginning has a great ending," he said. "I don't know about you, but I want to know what this great ending will be."

And so it begins. Please review, and tell me whether I should just forget about it and keep writing to myself.

Personally, I'm wondering what's gonna happen when Thorin Oakenshield shows up.

Wink. Wink. Wiiiiiink.