It's funny how something that had started out as nothing more than leaving a kind message to some stranger on the internet regarding Souji's love for their music could escalate so quickly. One message became five to ten messages a day. By the end of a month's time, names and skypes had been exchanged and the two had pretty much succumbed to constantly IMing each other. They talked about nearly everything, ranging from their tastes in music and books and television, to how their respective days went and what they were currently studying and where they wanted to go in life.

Honestly, it actually scared Souji, how close he was getting to Yosuke - whose name sounded so familiar and warm, for some reason. His entire life has been spent trying not to form attachments to anyone. It wasn't as though he had very good role models around to show him that the kind of mindset the silver haired man had developed wasn't how it should be. His parent's weren't the type to show affection nor did they spend time together very often. Their work had always been more important, and Souji had simply accepted that early on and learned to take care of himself. And he thought the best way to do that was to close himself off from everyone else, so that no one could ever hurt him the way his own mother and father had countless times in his childhood.

And now, without his permission, this musician was beginning to worm his way through the stone walls he'd placed around his heart. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like it had been done a hundred times before. There was this intense urge to push Yosuke away because sooner or later, he was going to find out all the worst things about Souji - all of his demons and darkness - and then he wasn't going to want anything to do with him. It's only been four months since they'd met and he already knew it was going to hurt when the other left.

That realisation is what's caused Yu to keep his skype availability to invisible and not post or reblog anything on tumblr for the past week and a half.

| Tuesday, August 5, 2014|
yos_hana94
ok, it's been like 3 days now, and no sign of you. are you ok? (3:28pm)

| Friday, August 8, 2014 |
yos_hana94
srsly man, what's going on? (9:16pm)
did i do something? i know i can be annoying and stuff. (9:20pm)
im really sorry. (9:55pm)

| Sunday, August 10, 2014 |
yos_hana94
i'm sorry to keep buggin you, but i just wanted to say that whenever you come back, i'll be here. (3:59am)
if you want. (4:00am)
er ... i'll leave you alone now. (4:03am)

Every muscle in his body was aching to reply to the brunet. All he wanted was to jump back into that comfortable rhythm he'd set with the other. But how was he supposed to go about explaining what had kept him away? Wouldn't it be too late by now? The last skype message from Yosuke was dated from four days ago, and he hadn't received a tumblr message for even longer than that. He'd stated he'd be there whenever Souji came back, but what if he was just saying that in the heat of the moment. What if he'd angered or upset the musician to the point where he wanted nothing to do with him? What if he's done the pushing away, instead of the other person leaving this time?

Too many thoughts were racing around in his brain as he held his head in his hands, eyes squeezed almost painfully shut. No one had ever tried so hard to keep in contact with the writer. Letting out a slow breath, Souji straightened up, fingers splayed over the keyboard.

| Thursday, August 14, 2014 |
narucatmi_yu
I'm sorry for just disappearing like that. I ... I got scared. I know that sounds like an excuse, but I promise it's the truth. I've never really been close to anyone before, and, well, with you it's so easy. I spooked myself into thinking that you were going to leave just like everyone else in my life has, and if that were to happen, I knew that it would be very painful for me. (1:12am)
And now, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted nothing further to do with me. It was a very poor move on my part, and I am not proud whatsoever of my actions. I shouldn't have ignored you. It was very selfish of me. You have done nothing wrong, though, I want you to know that. I don't find you annoying or anything of the sort. I actually think you're quite wonderful and hilarious and smarter and better than you give yourself credit for. I'm really sorry, Yosuke. (1:15am)

Okay. He did it. That wasn't so bad. No, that's a lie. His hands were shaking as Souji stood to get a glass of water, hoping it'd calm his nerves. When he returned, skype was notifying him of a new message. And instantly, every negative feeling drained from his being and a small smile lifted his worried lips and a bought of laughter slipped past them.

yos_hana94
you big idiot. (1:20am)
that's srsly what you've been all worked up about? (1:20am)
i'm not going anywhere, so you have nothing to worry about. (1:21am)
as if i could ever leave you, partner. (1:21am)
um i mean i don't know where that came from. was that too weird? that was weird right? god i'm the idiot forget i said anything wow i'm going to go and throw myself in a trash can or something (1:22am)

narucatmi_yu
Partner, huh? I like that. (1:28am)
Thank you, Yosuke. Thank you so much. (1:28am)