Now, before we get any further in this chapter, I have an announcement to make.

I'm gonna have to put down this fic.

Before anyone starts blubbering, I am still continuing this fic (or at least its plot bunny), I just have some major changes to make. Basically, I'll be rewriting the whole thing.

After finding out the events in Inquisition, I realized that some of my already planned out major plot points had to be changed to fit the timeline better. I didn't want to work around what I already have since I wanted this fic to follow most of the timeline and I didn't want to end it around the Origins/DAII timeline then I'll just make a sequel focusing on events around Inquisition. I had wanted this fic to follow at least a majority of the events of the Dragon Age series. Besides that, several revelations were revealed in Inquisition (coughSolascoughMythalcoughSoMuchSpoilerscough) that affected major parts of the timeline I had already planned out. Hence, the rewriting.

Now, the scenes I have below are snippets of the original timeline I already had. Take note that not all the scenes happen right after each other. They're just snippets. Since it seemed like a shame to get rid of all my story doodles, I decided to just post them here. Think of it as a tribute to honor the timeline that never was.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age! I only own this story and my little female vanguard~

/Chapter 16\ (supposed to be the next chapter)

The confrontation itself went much like what originally happened in-game, though with much more tension and a lot more questions on the Warden's part. They were, surprisingly, very deep and soulful questions. Questions you could consider to be up there along with the questions about life and death.

No, actually, I don't know anything about it. I felt bored halfway through the confrontation and ended up daydreaming for the rest of it. All I knew was that at the end, the Lady looked much more content than I had first seen her and Aedan was more than willing to help her cause.

By now, I knew that Aedan and the Lady were focused more on idle chatter and the rest of the Warden group was a bit more relaxed now. I could see Neria and Leliana talking easily with one of the most recently turned female Weres. While there were still pockets of angry, disapproving Weres, some at least seemed to be a bit more willing to give the Wardens a chance.

Surprisingly, even Swiftrunner was, begrudgingly, willing to give them all a chance. I was not under the illusion that he was doing it for their sake. The Lady's quiet, formidable glare behind the Warden's back straight to a contrite Swiftrunner was proof of that.

-After completing the Dalish quest, the group returns to Redcliffe to restock only to find Duncan waiting for them. The Calling had grown stronger and Duncan has already left the title of Warden-Commander to Aedan, deciding afterwards to join the group to Orzammar and answer his Calling in the Deep Roads. Before heading off to Orzammar, the group heads off to Denerim so that Duncan can take care of some legal matters regarding Aedan's new title. The group stops by Soldier's Peak to upgrade some of their armor and weapons and Duncan speaks to Avernus regarding the Calling. Avernus offers a temporary solution to extend Duncan's life and stave off the calling for a while further but Duncan disagrees, deciding to continue on to Orzammar. Avernus also finds out about Zara's true nature but decides not to reveal it to any of her companions, instead requesting for a chance to study Zara. Zara allows it but only in a very limited manner of studying and leaves with the group even when Avernus was not finished yet.

Upon arriving in Orzammar, Bhelen almost immediately shuns the group after seeing Duran still alive, but only Duncan's appearance staves off further action against the exiled prince. Upon knowing the problems regarding Orzammar's missing leader and their inaction until a dwarf with the support of a Paragon is put on the throne, the group convenes and after a few arguments, decides to support Bhelen despite some of group's disapproval of the choice. Duran also proposes that they find his twin sister, Sereda, who had been banished with him in the Deep Roads to join their group once it was decided that they would head off to the Deep Roads to find Branka.

After traveling with the group under the pretense of 'seeing the world', Zara develops close ties of friendship with the members of the travelling party despite the short time they have spent with each other. She gets particularly close with Aedan, never knowing the strength of his feelings for her...

/Dead Trenches scene 1\

Journeying through the Deep Roads was...nostalgic. It had been a while since I last breathed that permeating darkspawn smell. It wasn't particularly pleasant but it was a homely smell still.

"I don't like this place." Theron declares suddenly, his brown eyes shifting about. He was tense, as taut as his own bowstring. The other Wardens murmur an agreement and the rest weren't faring any better. Even Aedan's normally calm countenance was gone.

"How can you be so calm here?" Neria complains after seeing me dart across the walkway again to the opposite wall. In truth, I was examining the earthy walls, trying to figure out where we were in the Deep Roads. I wasn't too trusting of Aedan's sense of direction.

"I don't know." was all I said when everyone seemed to focus in on me for my answer. "It feels like...something's calling me." I answer honestly. Of course, that something was the Archdemon who returned to the Dead Trenches after attacking Ostagar but they don't need to know that.

The group share wary looks. Especially the Wardens. Duncan, who had been quiet our whole journey, looked alarmed. "The Deep Roads have been occupied by darkspawn and nothing else." he says. "There is no way that anything else could be calling to you." Aedan, in particular, looks alarmed by Duncan's words, sending looks towards the previous Warden-Commander.

I don't answer. I only look off somewhat dazedly onwards. I could feel the heart of the horde getting closer. We were already on the edges of the main horde. Dragon-dad's voice was clear in my mind and he was approving of my actions. He almost seemed...proud.

Well, that was mildly terrifying.

/Dead Trenches scene 2\

The fire we created in camp was weak. It was just enough for all of us to huddle up and keep warm. There were double watches and everyone always went with someone. Even now, their talks near the fire were quiet, subdued. I stayed further away into the Roads, just far enough that it was dark but near enough that they wouldn't be panicking. I sat right in the middle of the Road, feeling for the darkspawn near our vicinity.

Further into our walk to the Dead Trenches, I had been growing more and more distant from the group, lapsing into silences, staring off towards where I knew my Dragon-dad was, and generally being distant. I could tell they were worried, Aedan and Duncan more so.

I felt slightly guilty about worrying them so much but it was best this way.

I remembered the plan. The Archdemon had told me to return to the horde, to leave the group and reclaim my old body. He wanted to launch a final attack with me back in the horde. I wasn't sure how to react. I couldn't say no, not when the mental link was stronger than ever and I didn't fancy the Archdemon controlling my body without my permission. I had no choice but to obey.

I may have free will, but I am still darkspawn and it violated my very nature to disobey the Archdemon.

I wondered how I would leave. It would probably be after getting to Caridin. I could at least help them until that. I could get lost deliberately and return on my own to the horde but I didn't doubt the group's loyalty. I was sure they would backtrack and look for me (and find me too, most likely, the stubborn idiots that they are), despite Aedan's lack of sense of direction. They were strange that way.

I might have to show them my true nature, to show them that I had 'lost my mind' so that they would be convinced to leave me.

I wondered if Avernus might be able to find a way cut off the link.

"Are you alright?" Neria's voice cut off my morose thoughts. I looked up at the young mage and blinked my eyes at her. I shrugged. Neria sits down beside me and looks into the dark where I had my eyes on. We were silent for a while before she spoke.

"They're worried about you, you know." she says, not looking at me. "It kind of feels like...you're avoiding us."

I don't answer. Neria presses on. "Is it because...of the voices?" she asks softly. "When you said you heard someone calling you...is it because of them?" Neria leans in a bit closer. "Please Zara. You're scaring us. Why won't you talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." My words came off harsher than I wanted it to. "There's nothing there. There's no voices, okay? There's nothing. Nothing."

Neria was silent for a while. Then she suddenly stood up and hugged me, before fast-walking back to camp. I couldn't say anything about the wetness I felt on my cheek when she hugged me.

It hurt staying away. But I really had no choice.

/Dead Trenches scene 3\

"Zara."

I didn't turn when I heard Aedan's voice. I knew I had freaked them out. I stood right in front of the darkspawn and did nothing. I knew they wouldn't harm me, but they had freaked out. Even more so when all the emissary did was stand and examine me very closely.

"Zara, we need to talk." Aedan's words were clipped and grave. He was angry. Very angry.

I didn't react when Aedan grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me off into a more secluded part of the cavern.

"Zara, we need to talk." was the first thing he said. I didn't do anything, only stand still and stare blankly at his armor. "Zara, please, you have to speak to us about it. What is it saying?" Aedan's tone betrays his desperation. "Zara, what is the Archdemon saying?"

Aedan touches my cheek, frames my face with his bare hands. Vaguely, I wonder when he removed his gauntlets. He leans down until he's nearly eye to eye with me. I see his green eyes and see the worry in them, the hidden fear. And I felt absolutely evil.

I start the act and force tears to appear.

I was scared, a little, but I was angry more. The Archdemon knows, the group had become family to me. He was angry at me, once he saw my thoughts about them, angry that I had become attached. Little by little, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, I could feel myself succumbing to his will. He was gaining control of my body, little by little. I tried fighting it and I was barely winning. Barely, but still winning. And I wasn't about to lose.

Every time we encountered darkspawn, I stayed far. Just last time, when I fought with Alistair by my side, I nearly slipped in my control. All it took was one sudden jerk of my arms by the Archdemon and my arrow was pointing at Alistair's back. I regained control just in time before the my fingers let go. The other time, I nearly hit Wynne in the leg when I slipped again.

"I'm scared, Aedan." I hiccup, feeling rotten for acting so distraught and making him worry more. "I'm losing control. He's taking over, slowly. So slowly." I grip his hands framing my face. "He's angry. He wants to kill you all. I don't want to kill you." I was steadily crying now, sobbing. It was hard keeping the act going when I did it to one of my friends.

Aedan looks pained and he draws me in for a hug. I clutch at his armor, burrowing myself as far as I can reach. I didn't mind half of the reassurances that flows in a steady stream from his mouth and I only vaguely felt the soft kisses he places at my forehead, at my tears, at my eyes. I was still trying to remember how to feel something other than despair and anger.

I couldn't really think clearly after a few minutes. In the end, I fell asleep against him, wishing with all that I was that I wasn't born a darkspawn in the first place.

/Dead Trenches - Anvil of the Void - scene 4\

I felt numb the whole night we camped at the location of the Anvil.

The deal I made with the Archdemon laid heavily on my mind. Their lives, my free will and my body's invincibility in exchange for the darkspawn attacking me while I didn't join the horde and my following the Archdemon's every word once we attack Ostagar and Denerim. It wasn't really free will but at least I could control my own body. I feel like it's worth it. I had faith in their abilities. They would survive.

That night, I slept in Aedan's hold again. I couldn't really rest my mind, but I could at least close my eyes and pretend that everything would be fine in the morning.

/Dead Trenches scene 5\

I had wondered why we were passing through the area where most of the broodmothers were staying but then I chalked it up to Aedan's sense of direction. Then when we fought the third broodmother, I was starting to think that it was planned.

We were fighting fairly well against the darkspawn and the broodmother. Then, I suddenly felt darkspawn presences arriving quickly. They had three ogres and too many darkspawn to count. There was just...too much.

Duncan and the other Wardens all looked at each other sharing alarmed looks. Aedan shouts for us to run and Neria, Zevran and Sten quickly starts working on the tentacles blocking the passageway. The rest makes a perimeter, guarding the three, now four as Aedan joins them in cutting through the block, so that they could work faster.

I didn't know where it went wrong but it did. Me, Leliana and Duncan were the only ones actively killing through the horde while the rest were aiming for those getting too close to the four working on the passageway.

It was me that first saw the tentacle coming for Duncan, who had just downed an ogre. He was regaining his breath for a second when I saw it heading straight for his back. Leliana saw it too and quickly shot an arrow. She missed narrowly, barely an inch as the tentacle shifted slightly in its course.

I didn't really think, I just ran and pushed Duncan away. Of course, I didn't really expect for the tentacle to go straight through my arm, which was still raised. I didn't even know that it was that sharp, but it cut straight through my arm. It didn't hurt, it never does but the others don't know that. Leliana's eyes widen and she sucks in a breath as my severed arm, still holding my dagger, lands right at her feet. Duncan was quick to react, catching me as I fell and stabbing the offending tentacle away.

I didn't feel pain but I felt awkward. I kept looking for a hand that wasn't there. Duncan's face was pained and grave as he looked over the stump. Then a surge of darkspawn came. Duncan hugged me close with one hand and the other holding out his longsword. It spoke a lot about his skill when he managed to kill a handful of hurlocks even while he lugged me out of the battle zone.

I'm not sure what the mages were doing to my arm but even as I laid on the ground, I could feel another tentacle surging through the ground right underneath Wynne. Suffice to say, I panicked and pushed Wynne away with my remaining arm and a tentacle broke through the ground where Wynne was just kneeling.

I half expected the appendage to aim for the four cutting through the passageway but when I looked at the broodmother, I felt my breath hitch. She was looking right at me. I struggled to get up but I was too slow and the tentacle had a hold of my neck within seconds.

I cried out in surprise and my scream got choked off when the appendage tightens. There were several cries of alarm but I didn't get to see them as I was suddenly flying through the air farther away from the group and closer to the darkspawn.

I hit the floor hard, unable to scream or even cry out with my bruised neck. I was wheezing for breath when I was grabbed by the hair and forced on the wall. It was a Hurlock Alpha. Vaguely, I wondered if it was the same alpha I had a staring contest with.

I didn't have time to think left when the offending monster stabs his jagged sword through my chest right below my collarbone and straight into the wall.

My sight grows hazy as the Alpha leaves me hanging by the sword on my chest. It was difficult to breathe. I might not be able to feel pain but my body still works the same as everyone else.

The last thing I see is Aedan's stricken face disappearing behind the opened passageway.

-Presuming Zara dead, the group continues on to Orzammar, crowning Sereda Queen who was found with the Legion of the Dead. Much like Bhelen, she decides to bring change to the dwarven kingdom, opening surface trades and breaking down the castes. Pyral Harrowmont gracefully steps down from his running to be king and Bhelen makes to do the same until he is proven guilty of killing his oldest brother Trian. He is banished much like Sereda was. The group soon leaves, returning to Redcliffe and waiting for the army to amass. Duncan, who had originally planned to succumb to the Calling in the Dead Trenches, realizes that the Calling has disappeared. How it disappeared is still a mystery.

The group moves on to Redcliffe where they receive news that Loghain has been arrested for treason to the crown after attempting to attack the king in anger once the Orlesian forces arrive. Cailan was injured, but alive. Anora followed her father in prison once she was caught trying to free the previous general. The group soon heads off to Ostagar and the new Warden-Commander leads the new united forces of the different races.

Aedan, still distraught over the death of Zara, continues on, grieving the lover he never had.

/The Siege on Ostagar -Just after Redcliffe, the group heads off to Ostagar; Zara is back to her old body and is leading the largest horde to attack Ostagar so far - scene 1\

I could feel the difference between my old body and this one. My old body seemed...lighter, compared to this. It's like I upgraded. I had four horns before but now I had two black ones that curled backwards menacingly, much like Qunari, only mine was longer and had little tiny spikes growing around the base and at the sides. Speaking of spikes, what spikes I had before grew in size and were much smoother. Unlike back then, when I had carapace-like skin, now it felt more like armor. It was heavier and thicker around my shoulders, torso and my legs. The bone-wings were heavier now and I had four of them, two on each side. The only upside I could see in this was that I had hair.

As in actual hair! Longer than the curls I had when human even. The curls were black as night, reaching past my tailbone and it was beautiful. One thing I regret was my eyes. I liked my silver eyes when I was human. Now, something must have gone wrong. My left eye glowed a menacing, corrupted purple and there were veins stretching out from its corner into my left ear. My right eye remained the same though, but the silver was dull and faded and it looked dead, though I could still see from it.

I was not looking forward to attacking Ostagar in my true form. I was not under the illusion that the Warden group would not recognize me. At least the Archdemon wouldn't have me actively hunt the members of the Warden group, unless of course, they specifically aim for me. Of course, it would hurt emotionally, them attacking me. I might not feel that much positive emotion but I could still feel pain of the heart, even just a little.

I was not stupid. The others thought me dense but I wasn't. I just didn't act on it and chose to ignore it. Aedan was not as subtle as he thought he was. Those excessive hugs once he knew of my fondness of the act (not to mention Zevran's knowing smirk when he thought I wasn't looking), the lingering touches, the overly fond smiles and his almost always staying with me when he can, that near kiss when we were in the Deep Roads...

Nope, I am not stupid. And I am also not completely emotionless.

I will not deny that I felt a little...excited around him sometimes. But it was nothing more than a crush. I would be part of the first group to say that he was handsome, oh he was, sometimes exceedingly so. Makes me remember the time I proclaimed to the camp about how handsome and well-built he was when he arrived from a fresh bath wearing only his pants. The camp was under the impression that I was honest ("There's honest, there's frank and then there's Zara. She has her own level of bluntness. I don't think she ever heard the term overly honest before, to be honest." Faren says factually to Duran who was snickering at the look on Aedan's face.), innocent and completely unknowing of sex and passion (The scandalized look on Theron's face when he found Zevran lecturing me about sex using very clear descriptions and graphic demonstrations with his fingers was so worth acting the part of a innocent nymph who knew nothing about procreation. That Alistair was also listening in put the same scandalized expression on Wynne's face. That was priceless.). My declaration had Aedan blushing red he was almost purple and he looked about ready to hide in his towel.

Still, I wondered how he would react once he knew what I became.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool night air. The stars were clear tonight and the moon was bright. This was part of why I loved Thedas more than Earth. The stars were so clear here, you could almost see whole galaxies so far away.

Then the Archdemon called. I sighed and put all unnecessary thoughts out of my mind and focused on how I would make my first appearance in the horde. It would be my first time leading the horde into the battle and it would be the third battle that Aedan would lead. It would also be the first time that the Archdemon would make its appearance so close to the tower. It had already made its appearance, only in the sky and farther from the Wardens waiting for it. Now, it would stand behind me as I make my first appearance.

/The Siege on Ostagar scene 2\

It was silent in the forest and in the entrance of Ostagar.

Near the fortress, it was filled with light, of torches and fire and mages standing at the ready. But in the forest, it was dark and quiet where we stayed unseen. There was no sign of life, nothing at all. The presence of the Archdemon had quieted the horde but I knew they were following the corrupted dragon's example. They were waiting. Waiting for me to move. I, however, was waiting for the humans to act.

I could smell the gasoline on the grass. It was in a straight line farther in front of the army and closer to the side of the forest. They would light it and the fire would spread, making a straight line and burning all those in front. I waited for it.

I could feel them getting antsy, wondering where the darkspawn were. Some had already started murmuring to each other, wondering and asking each other if the darkspawn had somehow disappeared. There were a handful few already starting to shout and cheer and it soon grew like a wildfire. There were some who were not cheering, such as the kennel masters who were watching the shadows worriedly as the mabaris shifted and barked anxiously. I could see some members of the Warden group staying near Aedan and Cailan steadily watching the shadows, a grim look to their faces.

I focused on hive mind and felt the darkspawn buzzing patiently around me. They shifted a bit when I touched their minds but made no more moves other than that.

I touched the minds of the Blight wolves which were first in line and sensed the Emissaries right behind the wolves. Behind the Emissaries, it was already mixed with hurlocks and genlocks and shrieks and ogres already waiting patiently.

I sent out one Blight wolf. It ran closer to the fortress, barking madly and howling but not getting any closer. The mabaris tensed and started barking back but did not attack. The cheering quieted as the wolf continued to howl.

I saw, with Aedan's nod, one of the archers walking forward and readying his bow. He hit the wolf spot on the head and the poor thing went down quickly. As silence grew once more I felt the Archdemon make an order. The Blight wolves started howling all together, as if answering the dead one's call.

The soldiers tensed and the archers drew back their bowstrings. Cailan raised a hand and the same archer who killed the wolf prepared a lighted arrow. I had to commend that one, he hit the gas spot on. The fire spread quickly through the grass and the unmoving darkspawn came into view.

I breathed in deeply and started walking. The darkspawn shifted and made way for me and I tried not to think about how dramatic the Archdemon suddenly became in my absence.

The fresh fear that appeared on the faces of the soldiers as I came into view made me feel like I should be proud or something. However, I couldn't focus on anything else other than the expression on Aedan's face as he took a single step forward and sucked in a breath once he saw my face. Of course, his focus shifted quickly when the Archdemon made itself known with a flaming roar to the skies that far surpassed any natural fire present in the area.

I continued walking through the fire as if it weren't there and a few paces past it, I flare all four of my bone-wings and raise my right hand. I jerk my arm onwards and the darkspawn all charge, shrieking and making war noises.

The siege had begun.

-Ostagar is lost and the armies have retreated Redcliffe but Aedan and his companions have found hope for Zara's 'recovery' from the darkspawn when she spares him on the tower in Ostagar. Zara leads the attack on Denerim afterwards and wait atop Fort Drakon for the Wardens to arrive.

/Battle for Denerim scene 3\

Denerim had good memories for me during my stay. It almost made me sad that I had lost contact with Goldanna when I started travelling with the Wardens. Now, though, I wasn't sure how to feel about the city burning below. The Archdemon was busy flying around the city, generally wreaking havoc and making it easier for the darkspawn to go around.

I breathed in and out in a steady rhythm, spreading out my senses as I looked for the Wardens. I found them easily enough, they were already close, slowly making their way through the darkspawn in the tower, followed closely by other Wardens.

I closed my eyes and waited.

I did not wait long enough.

"Zara."

I open my eyes and angle my head slowly towards the group behind me though I make no move to face them.

"It is you isn't it?" It was Neria who speaks. "You survived!" I almost smile at her childish enthusiasm. She was always going to be innocent.

When I don't answer, she deflates slightly. "Zara?" she asks, hesitantly this time.

I face the group then and saw the fragile hope growing in their eyes. The Orlesian Wardens who were right behind the group makes quick work to surround me, aiming weapons and making a defensive formation.

"Surround the darkspawn! Remember your orders, capture it if possible, kill if necessary." Calls out one of the helmeted idiots.

I keep my eyes on my previous companions but prepare my wings for any sign of attack that might come.

"The Archdemon," I start, "would not be happy seeing you here."

Aedan's lips purse and he steps forward. "The Archdemon is not my concern right now." he says and it comes out clipped and determined. "You remember us don't you? It's why you spared my life back in the Tower of Ishal."

"I have memories of you, yes." I speak slowly, my voice tapering off into a rasp at the end. "But they are not my memories. Nor am I your companion any longer." I was deliberately lying to them of course but it seemed they wouldn't believe it either way.

Leliana steps forward, bow in her hands. "You still are though. You spared all of us at Ostagar. Any normal darkspawn wouldn't do that."

I narrow my eyes at them. "If I was still your companion...you wouldn't be aiming that arrow at my eye." I sneer and Leliana's hold on her bow falters.

I huff and flare my wings briefly before settling them back down when the Orlesians tensed further. "I may share the same name, I may share the same face but I am not the person you left to die alone in the Dead Trenches." There was more than one flinch at that statement. I wonder when this confrontation will end.

"You are still Zara." Aedan says softly. "But you are bitter, having been left to suffer alone in the Dead Trenches." Aedan puts down his sword deliberately and looks me in the eye. Then he looks down, as if in shame. "I am sorry."

The apology takes me off guard but I do nothing but stare. "I am sorry." Aedan repeats. "For leaving you alone. For not returning to you. For not even attempting to get back your body." Aedan pauses. "I am sorry." he repeats softly.

I couldn't help but close my eyes, deeply regretting what I was about to say next. "What's done is done." I return just as softly. "There is nothing to be sorry for. There is nothing you can do about it now anyway." It was all lies still. I only said it to comfort him, if nothing else. But I knew the Archdemon heard it.

And he was angry once again.

"You're still Zara, see!" Neria cries out then, grasping her staff tightly in her shaking hands. "You're still Zara, aren't you! You wouldn't kill me when we were in the tower! You forgave us!"

Then Neria drops her staff and runs to me.

The alarmed cries from the others went ignored by the little red-haired mage and she hugs me as soon as I was within distance. The tears I felt running from her eyes made me feel uncomfortable. Hesitantly, I raised my bony clawed fingers and spiky arms and as gently as I can, hug her back. Neria lets out a tiny sob and burrows further in my body.

I wonder...how can Neria stand to hug darkspawn? How can she still stand to hug me?

I did not get an answer for that because as soon as I realized what would happen next, I pushed Neria away and stumble back away from them.

I lose control, and the Archdemon gains hold of my body.

So far, these are all the snippets I've found in my files. I'll be looking for the other files just so that you guys have a general idea of what was supposed to happen in this timeline. Some major plot points were not included here seeing as its possible that I may still use them in the future rewritten version (stay tuned for that btw).

Sorry too, but I've got no fun fact or any good question for today's update. Ahhh, it's a such a sad life. Oh well, the rest of my story doodles I will try to put up once I find them.

One last note, I personally find it funny that I have so much scenes for the last battle but not much for the events in between. Has anyone ever experienced that before?