For Mom!

Five boys sat facing each other in a plainly decorated classroom. A fish tank gathering dust, generic wallpaper, potted cacti on the windowsill. Tacked on the walls were posters with encouragement and advice, for instance, "Openness is the First Step to Acceptance," and "Smile!"

None of the boys' body language suggested openness. No one smiled.

A slender youth in a black school uniform cleared his throat. "As a refresher, why don't we reintroduce ourselves?" There was a round of grunts and nods. "Very well. My name is Lelouch, I lost my mother when I was young and…" He swallowed hard. "It left me with issues."

There were a few half-hearted claps as the Prince sat down. Next was a boy with an annoyed look and a head of bright orange hair. "I'm Ichigo; I lost my mother when I was young, and I blamed myself ever since."

The rest of the group muttered their welcomes. A boy with a blonde braid and red jacket stood up. "I'm Edward. I lost my mother when I was young, and I have anger management issues with complex roots not related to my height."

Ichigo and Lelouch exchanged knowing glances. The next boy bowed shyly. "Umm, my name is Shinji, I lost my mom in a freak experiment conducted by my dad when I was young, and I'm really glad to get to know others like me."

The others looked at Shinji warily. At the last meeting, Shinji described in enthusiastic detail the operation of the entry plug and how his mother's soul inhabited the machine that he repeatedly inserted into ("Like going back into the womb").

The last boy wore a short leather jacket and a constantly angry look. "My name is Eren. I lost my mother when I was young. I'm only here because my childhood friend signed me up, not because I have issues."

"You bastard! Don't you deny it when all of us..."

"Or what, shorty?"

Knock Knock

Lelouch went to answer the door, walking past Eren and Edward as they wrestled on the floor. "Yes? I'm sorry, this is Protagonist's with Mother Issues Anonymous. The meeting for Characters with Daddy Issues is on the fourth floor, room 411, just go up the stairs at the end of the hallway, it'll be on your left."

As Lelouch closed the door and walked back Shinji turned towards him. "I think CDI meets tomorrow at 8PM."

"Is that so? Oh well." Lelouch shrugged as he returned to the group, after Ichigo finally pulled the two apart. "Right, now that we've gotten reacquainted, where did we leave off?"

"We were talking about our fondest memories of our moms."

"Until we became sidetracked when Ichigo wondered how his dad ever got together with his mom…"

"Which became further sidetracked when Eren talked about how his father abandoned him and his mom…"

"Right, we have that in common, wonderful moms and despicable dads… except Ichigo, whose dad sounds awesome." Shinji looked at Ichigo with envy. "My dad never hugs me."

"He doesn't hug. He attacks."

"Then Edward and Eren got into an argument about whose mom was the prettiest…"

"Destroying one wing of the building in the process, hence our new room."

"You two should be ashamed." Lelouch shook his head. "What would your mothers say if they saw you fighting yesterday?"

Eren sneered. "At least I can fight, unlike someone here."

"Ooh, burned." Edward grinned and the two fist-bumped while Lelouch mumbled dark threats as he gathered his cape around him like a security blanket.

Shinji looked at him sympathetically. "It's alright, Lelouch, not everyone can be a good pilot."

Knock Knock

"Good grief. Don't people read signs these days?" Ichigo threw open the door to find a little girl with rich gold hair trailing past her waist, looking up tearfully.

xxxxxxxx

"My name is Leopard. Mommy went to Heaven recently. She got sick and when I tried to find her medicine the Yattermen chased me away."

The boys nodded, giving the little girl their undivided attention. Obviously famished, she devoured four cupcakes as if she had never had one before, licking her fingers afterwards. With her feet swinging from the chair, she continued her story.

"For generations, the Yattermen have locked us up on an island behind great walls. When we tried to leave they shot at us."

"Walls…" Eren's eyes turned red, "I hate walls."

Leopard sniffled. "Huge, gray walls. They rose from the sea, blocking out the sky. They make me feel helpless and small."

"Bastards." Veins popped out on Edward's temple as he cracked his knuckles. "No one should be made to feel that way."

She blew her nose on the napkin Shinji handed her. "I thought Yatterman were heroes. They rule Yatter Kingdom, but they refused to help us when we were desperate. They're not just at all. That's why I'm going to get back at them, for Mommy."

"You'll need help." Lelouch smiled. "If there's one thing I know, it's how to bring down a cold, callous Empire."

"Really?" She looked around the circle with giant glistening eyes. "Will you help me teach the Yattermen a lesson?"

"Of course. You have my brains."

"And my fists!" Edward slammed his palms together, setting off a blue electric glow.

Ichigo ruffled Leopard's hair. "And my Zanpakuto."

"I'll show you when we're outside." Eren grinned. "It's huge though."

"Dude, choice of words."

Shinji was on his cellphone. "Misato? I need to borrow Unit-01 for… uh, community service?"

Downstairs, those members of Childhood Friends of Clueless Protagonists looked up as the volume of the cheer rose. Tatsuki frowned. "I hope those bakas don't do anything stupid."

Winry looked up from her cup. "Again, you mean?"

The girls laughed. Mikasa looked worried. Milly poured her more tea. "Relax. That's just how guys bond."

Author's Notes: The first episode of Yoru no Yatterman was the best I've seen in a long time. Once I realized what these protagonists had in common, I had to write this to get the idea out of my system. That's all.