It was so dark.

Dark, dark and cold. Freezing, biting wind…no end in sight. Pitch black. Then he could see it—a silhouette, not of shadow, but of light. Ed watched in wonder as it stepped forward with the grace of a gazelle and the kindness of a kitten. It stepped forward and bent down in front of him.

Mom…?

His lips were so chapped from the merciless storm that he couldn't say it out loud. But she understood nevertheless.

"My little man," she whispered. As if her voice were a force, the blackness cleared away, eaten up by…green? Yellow, too. And blue. The colors mingled and washed away the icy pain, replacing it with a warm, gentle hill. Gone were the fierce gales, replaced by a playful breeze. The sun shone brightly, with clouds floating curiously on the sky. But the best of all was Mom. Mom was there. She was alive. Her eyes twinkled with happiness and bright lights. She hugged him, and the fear and cold and pain and hate and worry…melted away. Just like that. All at once, everything was okay. Her hand rested on his cheek, her emerald eyes searching his. They carried no ill will; only the sweet, caring happiness she once had.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry? What for, my little man? The only thing you have to be sorry for…" Suddenly her arms tightened so harshly it hurt. Ed made a noise of surprise and tried to pull away, but her grip was like iron.

"…is that you couldn't make me right."

Ed looked up in fear, and his gaze was locked into those glowing red eyes, tight gray skin, black hair…

Then she began backing away.

"Mom," he wailed, reaching out. "Wait…!"

She vanished into the horizon, and the sweet hill, the gentle sun, the cheerful clouds went with her. Ed was trapped, unable to move, bound by invisible strings to a nonexistent chair. The world went black again, his blood turned to ice.

"Big Brother!"

Nina and Alexander materialized in front of him. Nina was smiling happily, Alexander lying next to her in content.

"Nina!" he wailed. "Get out of here! Run!"

Nina's placid smile remained, her eyes fixed on him, head slightly tilted. "Why, Big Brother? Don't you want to play?"

"Nina, please—" Without warning, a hand reached out from the blackness and gripped Nina around the neck. A look of fear entered her eyes.

"Big Brother!" she wailed. Ed lunged to protect her, but his bounds stopped him from going no further than an inch or so. She wriggled, trying to escape, screaming in terror. With a burst of alchemical light, Nina slowly began transforming. Her ears melted off, her nose deteriorating, blood dripping down her small body. She shrieked, begging him to help her. Her cries became deformed, deeper and slurred.

"Big…Brother…Ed…" she croaked. Ed was forced to watch the horrific play until she was finally a Chimera. It's cold, white eyes were fixed on him, questioning.

"Lets…play. Let's…play."

"Nina!" Ed screamed hysterically. "No-wait! I'm sorry! Come back!"

You're just like me, Edward...A voice chimed in his head. Was it Shou Tucker? No, no, no, no no no-

"Ed, my boy!"

Nina shimmered away without warning, replaced by a grinning Hughes.

"No," Ed whimpered. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

"Sorry?" Hughes said incredulously. "Aw, come on, Ed! You know better than that! Sorry can't change this!" his smile grew wider as crimson blood bloomed from his chest like a rose, spreading out around his military uniform. "Why'd you have to go and drag me into your mess, Ed? I thought you were smarter than that."

"I didn't—please—I'm—"

"Stop stuttering, Ed. At least I managed to eke out my last few words, even when I was dying." he laughed good-naturedly, as if he was just chatting about the weather.

"And what about Gracia? Now she's all alone…and Elycia has no father. Do they miss me, Ed? Do you? Or are you capable of grief…you heartless monster?"

Ed flinched away from the man, unable to shield himself from the stinging words. Hughes shook his head in sheer disappointment, walking into the distance and fading away.

The people visited him, coming in a fast flow, so quickly he lost track of time. Winry, kneeling on the floor, sobbing. Hohenheim, glaring at him coldly, then turning and shutting the door. Truth, laughing at his misery. Even the Colonel showed up at one point, calmly explaining a list of reasons why he was pathetic. Some of their eyes glowered with rage; but most just shone with disappointment.

Then he was alone. Alone in the darkness. Cold, in pain, and terrified of what was next.

"Brother?"

The voice came from behind him. Ed's breath hitched as the chair revolved to face the voice against his will. There he was; the armor. No flesh. Just armor.

"Brother…" Al said softly. "You see? Do you see now, how many people hate you?"

Ed nodded weakly. That's all he could do now; just listen to what Al had to say.

"You're such a lost cause. So much wasted potential. Wasted on something like you."

Something. He didn't even have his sense of self anymore to hang on to. Just a weak spirit deserving absolutely nothing.

"You've ruined so many lives. My own brother ruined my life and destroyed so many others. Not gonna kill people? Hah! What a stupid moral! You might as well have participated in the extermination for all the people you've destroyed, Brother."

"Stop," Ed whispered. "Please, Al, stop…"

"Stop? You deserve to suffer for the rest of your life. The only way you can even begin to atone…" Al lifted a gloved finger, pointing it at Ed. "…is to pay with your life."

"My life?" Ed echoed. Was it that simple? All he had to do was die, and everything would be okay?

Then began the chorus of voices.

"I can't believe such a disgusting brat was put in charge of so many lives." Was that Hughes?

"Foolish, worthless scum. Pointless idiot."That was Mustang…

"Stop!" Ed screamed. "Stop! Stop!"

"Brother," Al crowed mockingly. "Brother, brother, brother…"

The noise became deafening, a song composed of anger, hate, fury, and sorrow…

"Brother!"

With a shriek, Ed's bounds suddenly became loose. He threw himself forward, with only the intent to run. He sucked in breath, trembling uncontrollably.

"Brother, are you alright?"

Was…was he awake?

It had all been a dream. No, no, that wasn't true. That wasn't a dream. That had been reality. This sick world he lived in, where people pretended to care…that was the dream.

"You were calling out in your sleep. Are you alright, Brother?"

He had to say something. He had to reassure the only thing in this world that was keeping Ed sane that everything was alright.

Instead he just choked out "I'm sorry, Al" before breaking off into tortured sobs.


My hand slipped.

Okay, I'm usually not one for making Ed cry unless the circumstances are really, really bad, but come on, that was one hell of a nightmare. The story was going to go on a little bit, but I think I can just end it there. Sorry for such a fricked-up oneshot 8')