Disclaimer: I do not own this story, anime, manga, etc. Created for entertainment purposes only.
Yugi Tachi
Part 1
Mindwalk
The moment Yugi closed his eyes he was out, but his hyperactive mind slipped instantly into familiar exploration instead of the dead stillness of sleep. He had pushed through the plain door and crossed the corridor to the cold, forbidding passage into Yami's mind before even realizing he had entered the dreamlike state where he felt most comfortable communicating with his companion spirit. Yami stood there just inside the massive door, as if expecting his young friend. "What is it?" he immediately asked in his deep, regal voice.
"Nothing," Yugi sighed tiredly, making a face. "I just needed to escape reality for a little bit. I've had the worst day."
Yami smiled faintly. The two of them manifested visibly to each other in whatever outfit Yugi happened to be wearing at the time, which meant they now faced each other in the same blue tank top with a big star on the chest, jeans, and Millennium Puzzle. "You know you're always welcome in this realm of the mind. Was your day that bad?"
He turned and started to walk away, with Yugi trailing just behind. "I had an awful day at school," the younger one complained, shaking his head, "probably the worst ever. Exams are coming up, I'm so stressed out. I haven't even had a chance to play Duel Monsters in probably a week!"
"That is serious," Yami placidly agreed, but with a hint of teasing. He smiled over his shoulder at Yugi. "I thought it had been a while since you and I needed to team up."
Yugi tried to smile back, but it just made him look more tired. "Yeah, well, I haven't even gotten to play for fun. But now that you mention it…" Yami paused and turned back to him. Yugi shrugged. "…I guess you're right, I haven't so much as talked to you in a while. And considering you're pretty much with me in some form or another every minute of the day…"
"I did notice that your schoolwork seemed to be taking over your life temporarily," Yami patiently explained. "You may not always feel my presence, but I am there. Most of the time, simply observing and not interfering."
Yugi cracked a small grin. "Yeah, but I like it when you interfere. I don't suppose you'd want to interfere in my Calculus exam next week?"
The pharaoh smirked back but didn't answer. Yugi laughed a little to himself. "Yeah, I know, I'm being silly. Really, though…how are you doing?" He lifted his head and gazed at the twisted, surreal landscape of stairways and doors that never ceased to amaze him no matter how many times he saw it. "Find anything in here yet?"
Yami folded his arms over his chest and lowered his eyes. "No. These corridors are as silent as ever. I feel as though I might be on the edge of epiphany, but it still eludes me."
Young Yugi's large eyes saddened a little. "Oh. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it, Yugi. I know that when the time is right, everything will be revealed."
The young one nodded slowly. "You must be tired of looking at these locked doors and crazy stairways."
"I would be if they didn't seem so different every time I turned around." Yami also looked up, since some of the staircases stretched up over their heads into darkness. "I believe they change as I change. The more that's opened up to me, the more it seems the rest is hidden."
"That's insane!" Yugi gasped. "How are you ever going to unlock all your secrets if they keep doing that?"
Yami glanced at him, unable to stop his smile. "You seem more worried about it than I am."
"Well…you know…" Yugi shrugged timidly. "I just want to help. Besides…" He looked around warily. "It's so dark in here. I know it's just you, but I can't help but worry what might be lurking in those shadows."
The pharaoh cocked his head curiously. "Why? What is it like on your side?"
Yugi's eyes widened a little. "You want to see?"
"I…" Yami thought about it, and then smiled firmly. "Why yes. I would like to see your side of things. For all the time we've spent fused together, I feel there is so much I don't know about you, Yugi."
"Aw, there's not much to know, really," the youngster said modestly as he turned toward the iron-clad door marked with the Mystic Eye. "I mean, you already know my friends, and my grandpa. You've been a pretty integral part of my life lately, I don't know what else you'd want to know."
"I'm sure there's much more than meets the eye about you," Yami assured as he followed the shorter version of himself through the door and into the strange corridor that divided the two individual minds from each other. "You'll be privilege to my memories at the same time I am, it's only fair."
Yugi smiled over his shoulder as he pushed the second door open. "I know, and I don't have anything to hide from you. I trust you, Yami. I want you to know me. I just hope you like what you see."
A soft, inviting light flooded the corridor as the door opened, and Yugi led the way into the small chamber. Whenever approaching the mysterious mind of the pharaoh fused inside him, he always found himself there first, but he couldn't say exactly what sort of room it was. There were usually children's toys scattered across the floor, but he couldn't understand why, when he had outgrown those sorts of things by at least ten years. In fact, for a room he assumed was to represent him and his mind, it was very out of character. Yami, however, seemed to see something he did not. "Interesting," he mused as they passed inside. "You have a room of your own within the Millennium Puzzle."
"Is that what this is?" Yugi looked up at the taller pharaoh with wide eyes. "I never thought about it. This is where I find myself whenever I come looking for you."
Yami nodded. "You see? It is your own place, a safe place from which you can approach me."
Yugi ruffled a hand through his hair, looking around. "It's kind of a weird place. I mean…these toys are for little kids." He kicked a stuffed doll, which squeaked when his foot hit it.
"I believe it represents your innocence," Yami said wisely. "It's something you shouldn't take for granted."
"I suppose," Yugi grumbled under his breath. Then his eyes caught something that had never been there before – or if it had, he hadn't seen it. "Wait a minute…where does that door go to?"
It was a perfectly innocuous door, standing immediately opposite the door to the corridor. Yami blinked at it for a moment. "Perhaps it is the way into your mind, the way the other is the entrance to mine."
"Guess there's only one way to find out." Yugi turned the knob and opened it a crack, as if afraid some kind of dragon would jump out at him from the other side. When nothing happened, he pushed it open a little more, wandering through and starting in surprise at what he saw. "Oh…it's my room!"
The two identical figures entered what appeared to be Yugi's bedroom, brightly lit from without by sunshine as if it were the middle of the afternoon, like it was on the outside where Yugi was actually trying to take a nap. But instead of just the main door set into the adjacent wall, next to the closet, there were two additional doors, including the one they had just come through. There seemed to be a bit more clutter than usual about the desk and the shelves. Yugi went to the main door and peeked out into the hallway, fairly certain that he was seeing the rest of his own house. Yami looked around in interest. "I see," he finally said. "This is the present world, the one you know. Your thoughts and memories are here where you feel most safe, your own room."
Yugi came back in and nodded up at the pharaoh. "Yeah, my room is kind of my sanctuary. But these are new." He walked past Yami to the doors set in the wall that was supposed to be blank. The right-hand one had the familiar symbol of the Eye engraved on it. "I guess it's pretty clear, this is the way back into your mind. But where does this one go?" He laid his hand on the latch of the left door.
"Let's find out." Yami stepped up behind him, presenting his quiet support as Yugi opened the door. Inside was a completely random room, not at all logically connected to the house but with a design and light source all its own. It was also bright and sunny, but with a hazy sort of summer late-day sun, making the room feel stuffy and dry. The clutter was even more obvious here, with overflowing shelves and stacked boxes, many of them coated in dust. Along with books, papers, and containers, random objects lay strewn about, but most seemed unfamiliar – at least to Yami. Yugi let out a little cry of surprise and ran to one half-opened box, pulling out a battered stuffed animal. The pharaoh frowned curiously at him. "What is it?"
"Kuma-chan!" Yugi squeezed the animal in his slender arms. "This was my favorite toy when I was little, I took him everywhere. Even when he was almost falling apart, I loved him more than anything in the world. I think I lost him when I moved in with my grandpa, though." He looked around in wonder, his violet eyes wide and innocent. "I get it. These are my memories! Look…" Still hugging the animal – what kind of animal, it was fairly hard to tell – he ran to a shelf and took a picture frame down. "It's me, Joey, and Tristan, on the first day we met. And there…my middle school papers and things. This is where my past is kept."
Yami took a cautious step into the room, not wanting to intrude on what were obviously precious and private memories. "Do you mind me being in here?"
Yugi turned slowly to him, the innocence still in his eyes but a sadly serious look gathering on his young face. Seeing him standing there, a slender and maturing teenager clutching the beloved toy to his chest, struck a note of worry, or perhaps pity, in Yami's heart. "It's all right," Yugi said softly, "you can come in. If you really want to learn about me, this is the place. This is my past, all boxed up and put away." His gaze wandered away, still serious. "There's a lot of painful things locked up in here."
Yami went to him and placed a strong hand gently on his shoulder. "Painful things?"
"Yeah." Yugi's voice dropped to nearly a whisper. "Like…losing my parents, and having to come live with Grandpa. Don't get me wrong, I like living here. I mean, what kid who likes Duel Monsters wouldn't want to live above a game shop with a really cool grandfather who shares your passions? But…"
"But the reason you do is because you lost the rest of your family," Yami finished for him. "I understand. You don't have to tell me about it if it's painful."
Yugi took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you, Yami. Maybe…some other time."
"I would imagine being confronted by these memories, all at once, is a little overwhelming," Yami continued, leaving his hand there on the youngster's shoulder. "I won't push you. My curiosity is certainly not that important."
"You can look around, though." Yugi glanced back at him with a weak smile. "I don't mind."
Nodding, the pharaoh wandered a little ways away, meandering through the boxes scattered randomly in the room. Some of them lay half-open, giving little peeks of their contents through askew lids – books, papers, record albums, more toys, and some peculiar items no doubt picked up by a memory raised on television and consumerism. Yami investigated with some interest, stopping short of looking through the photo albums, until he spotted something lying on the floor that he knew. He bent down and picked up a single Duel Monsters card. "Neo the Magic Swordsman?" he read off the card.
Yugi set aside his Kuma-chan and gave a little chuckle. "Oh yeah. That was the first Monster card I ever had, when I was just starting to get into the game. I kept him in my deck for a while, because his stats are good, but I think I took him out just before Duelist's Kingdom."
"Sentimental value?" Yami wondered.
"You could say that."
Yami began to hand him the card, but then noticed something as his eyes continued to roam the strange room. "Some of these boxes are labeled. Do you see that?" He crouched down and read several of them out loud. "'Friends,' 'Knowledge,' 'Dreams'…" His gaze focused on the latter, a medium-sized box with a carefully fitted lid. "What dreams have you locked away in your memory?"
Yugi curled his arms around himself shyly. "Oh, you know…when you're a kid, you have a lot of dreams that you don't realize probably won't come true. Silly dreams, about how you think life is going to be like when you grow up." He grinned. "When I was little, I really wanted to be a firefighter."
"A fire…?" Yami couldn't help but laugh. "Really?"
"Yeah. What?" Yugi gave him a petulant look. "You think that's funny?"
Yami's deep, friendly laugh echoed in the room. "I'm sorry. I just…can't see you as a firefighter."
"Well, not now, no. See? It didn't come true, but that's okay. It's just a kid's dream, I grew out of it." Yugi came over and crouched down beside his companion to look at the neatly-lettered box of Dreams. "It's good to have dreams, but I think it's also good to know when to let them go. It looks like my old dreams are very safe and taken care of here."
Yami nodded at him. "That's very wise, Yugi."
The youngster looked away modestly, his eyes falling on another box stacked with the rest. "Oh. 'Regrets.' That can't be a good one." He reached for the lid, but his hand faltered halfway there. "Maybe I don't want to know what's in that one."
"That's a fair-sized box for someone as young as you," Yami noted. "Why do you hold on to your regrets?"
Yugi's eyes fell toward the floor. "I don't know," he said softly. "Everyone has them. I just…don't know why I can't let them go. I wish I could be one of those people who's strong enough to say they have no regrets in their life at all."
"It has nothing to do with your strength, Yugi. Life is far more complicated than that." Yami rested a hand on his young friend's shoulder for a moment and then stood up. "Perhaps that's enough reminiscing for one day. Come on, there's more to see in the other room."
Yugi nodded and pushed to his feet, pausing to put Kuma-chan somewhere safe before leaving and closing the door behind him. In truth, he was somewhat intrigued by all the extra things that seemed to exist in his mental bedroom that weren't real, and wanted to check them out as much as Yami did. There was a computer on his desk surrounded by piles of books, and the shelves between the additional doors were stacked with even more books and folders. Smaller boxes were wedged in between the other objects on the shelves and jutted out from under the bed. Yami was letting his fingers roam along the spines of some of the books on the desk as he read them. "What did you find?" Yugi asked him.
"I think it's your schoolwork, the things you learn in class," the pharaoh replied. He took the topmost book and leafed through it, amused to find the pages mostly blank. "At least, I hope you're learning something. This book is empty."
Yugi looked at the title on the cover and groaned. "That's why. It's Calculus. Nothing from that class sticks in my head, I forget it almost as soon as the test is over." He took another book and showed it to his companion. "See? I'm doing much better with Biology."
"Yes, I see," Yami laughed.
Setting the book down, Yugi fiddled with the computer for a moment. "Aw, man. There's more of my schoolwork on here. I wish it were as easy as just hitting a few keys when it's exam time, then maybe I could remember what I need."
Yami had found far more interesting things to look at. "Your Duel Monsters deck," he murmured, shuffling through the cards.
Yugi glanced at him. "How recent is it?"
The pharaoh flipped one card in his thin fingers and showed it to Yugi – Slifer the Sky Dragon. "I'd say it's your Battle City deck."
"Cool." The young man straightened up from the computer with a confident smile. "Of course, if there's anything I have foremost in my mind, ready to access at any time, it's my cards and my deck. Our deck, I should say. I couldn't have gotten through the tournaments without you."
Yami smiled gently and set the deck reverently on the corner of the desk where he found it. "So if this represents your mind in the present, what are some of these things?"
"I don't know. I guess we have to look around."
Both of them did, dividing and going to different places in the room. Yami poked around the shelves, while Yugi peered under the bed. Yami gave a low hum of curiosity as he pulled a shoebox from between books and brushed it off. "This one also says 'Dreams.' But it's much smaller than the one in your past room."
"What?" Yugi pulled his head out from under the bed and peered at his companion. "That's more dreams? Well, open it. What's in it?"
Yami did so, fascinated by the selection of objects and photographs inside. He picked up a small, somewhat stale-looking candy heart first. "What is this?"
Yugi slid off the bed and came over to investigate closer. "I don't know. The things in these boxes are representations of something, right? Some dream I have?"
"What do you dream of that could be signified by a heart?"
Yugi fairly blushed as he stared at the little white heart perched delicately in Yami's fingers. "I guess…maybe…it stands for my wish to be loved, someday."
Yami's elegant eyes widened slightly. "To be loved? Yugi…"
The blush became more pronounced, and Yugi averted his eyes. "Um, yeah. Well…doesn't everybody want that?"
"What about Téa? I thought you had a crush on her."
"I've sort of…given up on that," Yugi sighed. "I know she doesn't see me that way, and never will."
Yami looked thoughtfully at the heart he held for a moment. "So…this dream isn't about anyone in particular?"
"Mm…no, not as far as I know."
Yami decided not to pester his young friend any further on the subject and put the heart back, selecting a key instead. "What is this key for? What does it belong to?"
Yugi looked closely at it. "Hmm. Oh! It's the key to the safe downstairs in the game shop."
"What does that mean?" The pharaoh glanced down at him. "Would you like to own the game shop yourself someday? Or do you just want the money from the safe?"
Yugi laughed. "Yami! You know I wouldn't do anything like that. It's the first one, owning the game shop. I kind of thought…maybe that was what life had in store for me."
"Instead of being a firefighter?"
More laughter. "Yeah, instead of being a firefighter."
Yami smiled kindly. "I was going to ask you, in the other room, if you had discarded that dream, which one took its place. What do you want to do with your life?"
"I don't know, actually." Yugi stared absently at the key as he thought. "Lately I haven't exactly been looking ahead to the future, I've only been living each day as it comes. With you around, I don't know if I can really plan my way." His eyes lifted to Yami's solemn face. "We both know how unpredictable it is with a Millennium Item, not to mention a pharaoh's spirit whose destiny it is to save the world from the shadows. I don't expect I'll have a normal life, now."
Yami set the key back in the box and reached out to Yugi's shoulder again, his most tangible means of support. "If you ask me, I think the game shop is a perfect idea. You and I can keep an eye on every last thing having to do with Duel Monsters, and if a shadow game erupts, we'll know. But I suppose you're right – we can only take each day, one by one. Whatever happens, happens."
"Besides," Yugi shrugged, "I don't want to be some poor pathetic office worker somewhere. That kind of job would smother me. Taking over the game shop from Grandpa is a much more appealing idea."
Yami raised an eyebrow. "There is always going to work for Kaiba."
Yugi laughed so hard he almost collapsed on the floor. "What?" Yami persisted. "I am only half joking. He does produce game technology."
"Yeah, but do you really think he'd let me anywhere near Kaiba Corp.? His sworn rival?"
Yami smiled slightly. "I suppose not."
Yugi straightened up and caught his breath, wiping away a tear of mirth. "Nice try."
The pharaoh smirked and glanced back into the box in his hands. "There isn't very much else in here. You don't seem to have a lot of dreams right now."
"Yeah, well, it's like I said…I'm living in the moment. I don't have much chance to dream about things I don't have, and really, what's the point?"
"It's good to have dreams, Yugi. I hope I'm not preventing you from dreaming."
Yugi smiled warmly. "You're not, don't worry."
Yami looked away from him, into the box instead, lifting out a photograph. After a moment he started, letting out a small gasp. "What does this mean?" he whispered.
Yugi pressed his hand to get him to show the photo. It was their group of friends, Joey, Tristan, Téa, Serenity, Duke…and the two of them, side by side, arms over each others' shoulders and not dressed alike for once. It was clear by the way Joey leaned on Yami that the people in the photo saw the tall, lanky pharaoh as someone real, tangible, physically there with them. "Oh," Yugi breathed, understanding. "It's…nothing, it's a silly dream."
"But what is it?" Yami's eyes were hard with question. "I must know, Yugi. What does this mean?"
"I kind of hoped, maybe someday, all this stuff with destiny and the shadow games would be over," Yugi explained, keeping his eyes averted away, "and we could find a way to free you from the Millennium Puzzle, so you could live a regular life. Not that I want to get rid of you," he quickly added. "I like having you a part of me, you're my closest friend. But…I thought maybe you'd want to get free of me, and have a body of your own, a life of your own." He looked timidly up at Yami, afraid of his reaction. "I know it's probably not possible, but no one ever said dreams had to be attainable."
"Yugi…" Yami put the photo back and closed the box of dreams, setting it aside before turning to his young companion and resting his hands on his lithe shoulders. "Even if it were possible, I wouldn't do it to get away from you. I could never do that. You mean a great deal to me."
Yugi lifted his head, glad to see the peaceful look in the violet eyes looking back. "I just hate to think that you have to suffer with this existence, being only a spirit, and the only way you can actually feel and live is to live through my body. I wish you could be free, so we could hang out together and duel each other, and…" He glanced away again. "Well, you saw the picture. I wish my friends could get to know you the way I do."
"They know me well enough." Yami smiled even more firmly. "Your dream is beautiful, Yugi, thank you. That you care enough about me to wish the impossible for me…that's something I'll treasure. But I'm content with what I have – being joined with you, guiding you, is a very good existence. I wouldn't trade it for anything."
Yugi's innocent eyes darkened a little as he met the pharaoh's commanding gaze. "Yami…what will happen to you when I die?"
Yami stared, taken aback. "What…?"
"I expect to have you around one way or another for the rest of my life," the young man explained. "Our destinies lie together now. But…you're already a spirit. What if I…what happens if I die? Where will you go? Will someone else inherit the Millennium Puzzle, and you, then? Or…" His voice faltered, and he fell silent.
The hands on his shoulders squeezed a little. Yami bowed his head, his eyes falling closed. "I don't know," he said, his voice low and rough. "I don't think anyone else will become the Puzzle's keeper. You are the Chosen One, Yugi. There is no one else like you. If you die…"
"You could always take over my body, then," Yugi said faintly.
"No, it's not possible," Yami argued, shaking his head. "I depend on you, Yugi. If you die, I will die with you. Our spirits will both be free, then."
Yugi clenched his jaw to keep his emotions in check, turning his head away. As he did so, he noticed one of the boxes under the bed with its lid half off, hiding in a deeper shadow that didn't seem to be part of the natural lighting. What he could see from this angle, that he hadn't seen before, was the label: "Fears." He reached up and placed a hand over the one on his shoulder. "I don't want to lose you, Yami. You know that's been a fear of mine ever since…"
"Marik," Yami said in a low growl. "Yes, I know. Do you fear death, then?"
"No," Yugi replied with a shake of his head. "I've never been afraid of dying. Not that it ever really was something I had to face. But lately, with everything that we've been through, watching my friends suffer, having the fate of the world on my shoulders, fighting in the shadow realm…"
Yami glanced up and finally saw the opened box himself. "Now," he said quietly, ruefully, "you have many fears. Because of me."
"Not because of you," Yugi quickly corrected him. "I've seen and experienced a lot of amazing things because of you, but I don't blame you for my fears. It's not your fault, it's…me. I've never had someone get as close to me as you have, and I need your strength and guidance to get me through this crazy world. My greatest fear is that I'll lose you somehow, whether someone takes the Puzzle, or steals your power, or any of the million things that could go wrong."
Yami stood there gazing down at his companion for a moment, and then found himself reaching out, taking him into his arms, holding little Yugi against his chest in a secure, comforting embrace. He had never been so willing to even touch the young one before, much less let down his guard and so boldly allow Yugi inside his personal space. Comfort was not something Yami was used to giving. Yugi sighed against his chest, letting himself be held. "I can't tell you not to be afraid," Yami murmured, "because I suppose some part of me shares that fear. And you're right, we have been through much. So many threats lay against me that sometimes I worry over the burden I've become to you."
Yugi lifted his head. "You're not a burden! I don't think that."
"Maybe not, but you have paid a great price since I entered your life," Yami said knowingly. "I understand your fear, but I must also say this. Not once, no matter how dark and hopeless things looked, have you abandoned me. You stood by my side even while your friends were being taken away from you, when it looked as though we were about to lose everything. First to Pegasus, then to Marik. You never backed down, and you never lost your faith in me. You may fear losing me, but I think you will also fight to the last of your ability not to let that ever happen. You nearly lost your life once just to be able to save the Puzzle and my spirit with it. I believe in you, Yugi." Yami smiled kindly down at him. "And I believe that if that threat ever became real, you won't let your fear get the best of you."
Feeling tears stinging his eyes, Yugi shut them tightly and lowered his head. "How do you know? Maybe my fear is so great that it'll rise up and crush me."
"I don't think so. No fear is any more powerful than the shadow magic we've faced and defeated time and time again." Yami let his arms slide away from Yugi. "Now, let's close that box before any more of your fears escape." Leaving the little one standing there, he went over to the box under the bed, hesitant to touch the shadowy edges of it. The lid, however, would not budge for him, no matter how much strength he threw into trying to lift it. "It's no use," he said, glancing back to find Yugi watching him with wide eyes. "I think you have to do it."
Yugi joined him and knelt down, peering at the dark vapors seething out of the box. For a second his heart went cold, and everything he feared, from the petty worries to the mind-numbing fear of losing Yami, reared up in his head with the jitter of harsh, unfriendly voices. But Yami's hand touched his, and he recalled the warmth and strength of that kind embrace just moments before. "You're right," he said firmly. "I wasn't afraid when I stood facing Marik, I'm not going to be afraid now." He picked up the lid of the box and slammed it firmly on top, shoving the box way back under the bed.
"Excellent," Yami said with a smile. "At least you know of your fear. It's easier to face it when you can identify it."
Yugi stood up just enough to flop to a seat on the bed. "That wasn't very fun. The last thing I need right now is a good look into the deep, dark parts of my soul."
Yami pushed himself to his feet. "I admit, I didn't think you had any. I thought that was all me, while you were the one who was lighthearted and innocent."
Yugi laughed wryly. "I may look innocent, but you said it yourself – there's more than meets the eye with me," he said ruefully. "If nothing else, having you in my life and going through everything we have has made me grow up a lot faster. I bet there's adults who've never faced the sort of things I have."
Yami nodded his agreement as he wandered away, still poking curiously through Yugi's mental collection. "I must say, you've handled it exceptionally well. Any lesser man would have had his spirit crushed, but you've only grown stronger. And yet you still manage to hang onto your honor and pure-heartedness."
"Are you sure you haven't looked into my mind before?" Yugi teased him.
Yami smirked back. "You forget, when you and I are fused, I know and feel the same things you do."
"Oh, yeah, right. I knew that."
Finding something interesting on the desk along with the schoolbooks and photos of friends, Yami gave a little chuckle. "Everything you know about Duel Monsters…"
"Huh?" Yugi glanced over.
Yami waved a paperback-sized book at him. "At least that's what it says."
Yugi grinned. "Yeah, figures something like that would be in here. It looks really well-used, too."
"I should hope so." Yami replaced the book carefully so as not to lose it in the piles of disorganized information. "I know from experience that I'm not always responsible for your quick thinking and clever strategies in mid-duel."
"Yeah? Wow. Thanks, Yami."
The pharaoh nodded, leaning against the desk. As he did, his foot clunked against the wastebasket tucked partially underneath, and something fell out of it. "No need to thank me, Yugi, I'm simply telling the truth," he continued. "You are a top-caliber duelist in your own right. When you and I duel, we duel as a complete team. Neither one of us is ever completely in control of the other."
"Yeah, I sort of got that feeling. I can…sense it, I guess." Yugi pushed himself off the bed and went to pick up the piece of paper that had fallen out of the wastebasket and return it to its place, but as he did, he glanced over it and saw what it was. His violet eyes grew sad, and he sighed out a little, "Oh…"
"Yugi? What is it?" Yami noticed the change in the youngster's demeanor and frowned.
"Funny, and you just asked me about this a few minutes ago." Yugi stood and brought the paper into the light. Dirty, stained, wrinkled, torn and mangled, much of the writing smudged, it looked like it might have been a card, but apart from the pink and red shapes that looked suspiciously like hearts, much of its content had been rendered illegible. A big, muddy footprint across the front had ruined the message, and a good chunk had been ripped out of one corner. "It's…my feelings for Téa."
Yami stared at him. "Is this…a note, you intended to give her?"
"Well, no…I mean, I did have an idea just like this once," Yugi feebly explained, "around Valentine's Day a year ago. I never actually made it, though. Good thing I didn't – I don't think she would have taken it well. Look." He traced the footprint on the front cover of the card with a finger. "I'd know that shoe-print anywhere, that's hers. It's like she stomped all over it."
Yami's frown deepened in concern. "Yugi, I don't think Téa would be so cruel as to step on your love note."
"No, but everything in here is a metaphor of sorts." Yugi turned the card over in his hand, looking at all parts of it with a wry half-smile. "This is what it feels like to me. Téa and I are really good friends, I know she cares about me in that sense, but…I can see now that that's it. She only sees me as a friend, we've known each other so long that she couldn't possibly feel different about me. Besides," he added, lowering his voice to a petulant murmur, "she'd rather have you."
Yami's eyes flew wide open. "Me? What do you mean?"
"Téa was the first one to realize I had another spirit inside me," Yugi mumbled, his head bowed. "She knows the difference between us. Why do you think she agreed to spend a day with you? It wasn't just to help you uncover your past, you know."
The pharaoh shook his head slowly. "I had no idea. Yugi…you know I wouldn't do that to you. I honestly never saw it, I don't care about those sorts of things."
"I don't blame you, Yami," Yugi said softly. "I know it's not something you can control. That was probably the end of it – I thought maybe if she spent the day with us, it was the best chance I had, but that only opened my eyes to the facts. Téa doesn't like me that way, so I've let it go. That's why this was in the trash." He waved the card threateningly, as if to throw it away again.
"If it helps," Yami tried to say, "I was sort of bored that day."
"What? Yami!" Yugi yelped. "Téa is my friend! She's cool!"
"Yes, she's a very good friend, and very nice," the pharaoh agreed. "But I had a lot on my mind and wasn't in the mood for idle chatter and kids' games that day. I have nothing against Téa herself," he added with a smile.
Understanding crept into Yugi's thoughts and made him sigh, his shoulders heaving. "I suppose I can see your point. You probably don't understand what the big deal is in this world, when you've got something like the shadow realm on your mind."
"But I do know what a big deal your feelings are." Yami touched his young companion's shoulder gently. "Just make sure you're letting go of them for the right reason. Are you sure Téa doesn't return them? Or are you simply afraid she would only like you because of me?"
"Maybe a little bit of both. But…" Yugi looked up at the tall pharaoh's spirit. "…her dream is to move to America and study dance, and maybe dance on Broadway. She's always said she won't let anything get in the way of that dream, especially not a boyfriend back here. I know I don't have a chance, I'm just a cute little kid to her. Even if you weren't here, I wouldn't have a chance, I know that. I mean, I always thought she and Tristan might go out, but even he's just a friend to her."
"I see you've thought about this a lot," Yami wisely observed. "As long as you're not giving up prematurely."
"I'm not," Yugi assured him with a weak smile. "I'm just finally seeing what I was too blind to see before. It's okay. It's part of life. I'm moving on." He looked over the valentine once more, but instead of tipping it into the wastebasket beneath the desk, he frowned in thought, and then headed towards the left-hand door set into the adjacent wall. Yami followed out of curiosity. Yugi went into the Memory room and hunted for a moment, finding the dull gray box marked "Regrets." He lifted the cover and placed the crushed valentine gingerly on top of the pile inside, closing it and giving it a final pat. "There," he breathed, aware Yami was watching from the doorway. "This is where it belongs, I think."
Yami bowed his head and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry to see that you regret your feelings."
"Not so much the feelings, as never making anything out of them." Yugi returned to him, shouldering past into the main room. Yami politely closed the door to the Memories for him. "I'm sure there'll be another chance someday. Right?"
"I suppose." Yami's eyes followed Yugi as he went to go sit on the bed again, passing a mirror on the opposite wall in the process. The pharaoh started at the image that appeared in the mirror for that brief moment. "Wait…Yugi, step back there a moment."
"Hmm?" Yugi did so, and then turned his head to look into the mirror. The image looking back differed greatly – smaller, much younger, appearing maybe nine or ten years old, and clad in a school uniform. His hair was remarkably tame, but still the same style and multiple colors. Yugi blinked at the image, but didn't seem very startled by its strangeness. "What kind of mirror is this?" he wondered aloud. "I don't have one like it in my room."
Yami stepped up alongside him, out of view of the mirror but close enough to see Yugi's image in it. "Is this how you see yourself?" he asked very quietly, a bit concerned. "This isn't an image from the past…this is you, your self-image."
Yugi studied the reflection and sighed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"You're not that young," Yami tried to counter. "This isn't right."
"What's not right about it?"
Yami frowned deeply. "You still see yourself as a small child. You are not – you are a maturing young man, full of life. I don't understand what would make you think you're…" He gestured at the mirror. "…that."
Yugi regarded the image's scared eyes and timid frown. "I may be getting older, but I'm still a runt," he complained. "Maybe I don't get picked on as much anymore, but…"
"It's all that talk about Téa, isn't it?" Yami looked pained. "I didn't mean to bring up something so personal to you. But…you shouldn't think of yourself as a child. You are so much more than that, Yugi. This image of you is false."
Yugi shook his head. "Thanks, Yami, but…what can you do about it? This is my mental image."
"Close your eyes. Just listen to me, for a moment."
Sighing, Yugi did so, though there was a brief silence first. He felt the warm pressure of hands on his shoulders, and then heard the pharaoh's deep, rich voice murmuring just behind him, almost in his ear. "I've watched you grow into a graceful young man, who still manages to keep a kind smile on his face even when it seems like the universe is against him. Your eyes are always smiling, and though you've been through hell, it doesn't show. You may be an innocent, but it's nothing to be ashamed of." A pause, a soft sigh. "Do you know? I keep hearing people who speak of the pharaoh who locked away the shadow magic, saying how brave he was, how powerful, and I think to myself, they couldn't possibly be talking about me. But then, I see you…how brave you are, standing up to the challenges you've had to face, remaining strong even as your hope and life were being drained from you. You pushed yourself to save lost souls, and dedicated yourself to helping me save the world, without hesitating. When I see how brave and strong you are, I realize that people might be right after all." Yami chuckled a bit. "Since you should be, in some sense, a reincarnation of me. I see all the things in you that I would like to see in myself, and I like what I see."
Yugi took a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting the words sink into his heart. Yami's calming voice made it so easy to believe every word he said. After another short pause, the hands on his shoulders squeezed and Yami said, "Open your eyes and look in the mirror."
Yugi slowly lifted his head and looked toward the mirror again, his eyes widening at the new image staring back at him. It was a perfect reflection, a striking teenage boy with beautiful eyes and youthful features, his slender arms hanging at his sides, the long locks of blond hair teasing his face where they fell across his cheeks. There was indeed innocence there, but also maturity, and a hint of confidence that wasn't there before. It was how he always looked when he glanced in the mirror, in reality, but there was something more there, something subtle he couldn't identify. His heart warmed within him, and he found himself beginning to smile again. "Thanks, Yami," he said softly, turning away from the mirror. "You always seem to know what to say to help me out."
Yami smiled back. "Perhaps I do know you better than I thought I did."
Yugi clawed a hand through his hair, sweeping it back from his face. "All this introspection is making me even more tired than I was. When I wake up, I'm not going to be rested at all."
"I'm sorry," Yami said honestly. "I didn't realize it would be this way when you offered to let me into your mind."
"Nah, it's okay," Yugi reassured, waving a hand. "I want you to know more about me, even the stuff I don't like." He resumed his interrupted trek towards the bed, flopping down on it with a huge sigh. "Sometimes I think you're lucky, not being able to remember the bad things about your life."
Yami leaned against the shelf nearest him and folded his arms over his chest. "But I also can't remember the good things," he murmured solemnly. "Unfortunately, you can't choose which memories to retain. It's all or nothing."
Yugi gazed worriedly at him. "Oh, right. Sorry, I…didn't think."
The pharaoh's eyes closed. "At least I know I won't be alone, when and if those memories do return. I have you to support me. If they turn out to be painful, I know I can withstand them."
"I can't even imagine what it would be like," Yugi mused. "Here I am, complaining about the dark parts of my life, but that probably doesn't even compare to what you've been through. I mean…I'm very well acquainted with the shadow realm now. You've probably been there a lot more, and had to use the magic to fight evil or something."
"Most likely." Yami blinked at the floor as he thought. "Everything is just out of my reach. I know it's there…I've tapped into my powers a few times, almost by instinct. But so much of it is still in darkness."
Yugi crossed his legs on the bed and sat forward, gazing seriously at the pharaoh's spirit. "I just wish I could help you find it. I feel so helpless sometimes, like my hands are tied."
"You do as much as you can, and then some," Yami said reassuringly. "Just knowing that you're trying your hardest is something, Yugi." His eyes wandered as he stood there, a faint smile on his lips. On the shelf near his hip sat a few more boxes, some ornate, some plain, most of the labels hidden from him by the way they were stacked. But one caught his attention, on a lurid red box locked with a golden clasp: it said "Fantasies." He perked up for a moment, intrigued by the thought that young, naïve Yugi actually had some, but then realized that some things should be kept private, even between two minds such as theirs. He decided not to touch the box, returning to their conversation instead. "Thank you for giving of yourself, for letting me in this far. Your trust in me is something I will not take for granted."
"You're always welcome, Yami," Yugi smiled. "You've done so much for me, it's the least I can do in return. Anything you want to know about me, just ask. I won't hide anything from you."
Yami glanced sidelong at the red box beside him. "Even so, this is your mind, it's not free for me to peruse. Anything you want to keep to yourself, you can. I won't intrude unless given your permission."
Yugi nodded his acceptance. "I can't say as I've exactly had fun doing this, it's been hard, but…I'm glad we did. Now I realize, there is so much more about me that I could share with you."
Yami gave him a strong, understanding smile. "You see, now, what I meant?" His younger side nodded firmly. The pharaoh looked up at the beam of sunshine slanting in through the skylight. "You may worry about the less pleasant aspects of your mind, but I admit, this is an inviting place to be, unlike the confusing passageways of my mind. The darkness, it's so cold, so unfriendly. Your mind is so full of light and life."
Yugi bowed his head, growing solemn again. "But there are shadows here, as well."
"For you, perhaps. But your light overwhelms them, they can't survive here for long." Yami straightened up. "Well, then. If this exercise hasn't been restful for you, perhaps we should end it. I…wait." His head turned toward the door that led to the rest of the house. "What is that?"
"What?"
"I hear something."
Frowning in confusion, Yugi hopped off the bed and went to the door, peering out. Sure enough, the faint sound of music drifted in from down the hall. The two spirits looked at each other and decided to investigate, Yami following Yugi down to the living room. The song became clearer as they went, and they found the source in the main room of the Muto house. A stereo on the bookshelf warbled with a bouncy dance song, a light vocal singing "Ai-yai-yai, I'm your little butterfly…"
Yami made an exceptionally confused face, but Yugi just clapped a hand to his forehead and let out an aggravated growl. "Oh, not that song again!" he complained.
"What?" his companion pressed.
Yugi rolled his eyes. "I stopped by the arcade to meet Joey after school, for a little bit. Some people were playing DDR while we were in there, I must have heard that song at least three or four times! It got stuck in my head, I was still hearing it when I laid down to take a nap!"
Yami blinked at him, and then laughed. "So, this is what it's like to have a song in your head."
"Argh, stupid DDR song!" Yugi reached to turn the stereo off and banish the obnoxious song from his mind, but he couldn't find an "off" switch anywhere on the console. Growling again, he simply beat on it with a fist, but the song didn't even skip. "I can't turn it off," he sighed. "Now it's going to be stuck in my head all night, too."
"We'll just have to escape it, then," Yami realized, trying not to smirk at his partner's predicament. Yugi nodded his agreement and led the way back down the hall to his room, shutting the door behind them in the hopes that it would stifle the strains of music still drifting back to him. Yami paused in front of the door marked with the Mystic Eye, hesitant to return to his side, to the dark confines of the Millennium Puzzle. "At least now I know that I'm not alone, that there is more to both our minds."
"If you can get in here without me, you're welcome to come," Yugi offered. "I really don't know how this works, or where you and I really are right now, technically speaking. All I know is, I went to take a nap, and wound up here instead."
"You didn't intend to visit with me?"
"Well…" Yugi grinned sheepishly. "I was sort of thinking about how nice it would be to escape the world for a bit and hang out with you. That must have done it. All I have to do is want it, even subconsciously."
Yami matched his smile. "I'm glad you did, Yugi."
"I don't know how long I've been asleep, though," the youngster continued. "I should probably go. I have to make dinner, Grandpa is watching the shop until it closes tonight."
Yami laid his hand on the latch of the door and pulled it open, revealing the small chamber and the opposing door that led to the twisted corridors of the Puzzle's sanctuary. "Then, I'll leave you to that. You have my word that I won't intrude into the privacy of your mind when you've got more important things to think about, especially school." He gave Yugi a wry smile over his shoulder as they passed into the toy-strewn chamber. "I won't be responsible for distracting you when there are exams coming up."
Yugi sighed long. "Yeah, exams. Great. I'm going to need some serious distraction after that." He looked around the chamber while Yami crossed to the far door. "Hmm, that's strange. There's always been toys and stuff in here, when I've come here, but now that I look at it, I think there's less of them than there used to be." He gave Yami a thoughtful look. "What does that say about my innocence?"
Yami stopped with his hand reaching toward the doorknob, speaking with his back still to his younger half. "No one can pass through life remaining completely innocent, Yugi," he said in a low voice. "There are some things you should not remain naïve about. But I have faith in you." He glanced over his shoulder, his smile returning. "After everything you've been through, you still retain your good heart, your trust, and your kindness and generosity. Your innocence will never be fully taken away from you, as long as you keep to your honor and goodness."
Yugi very nearly blushed at the kind comments from the pharaoh. "Thanks, Yami."
Yami nodded and opened the door to the corridor. "It's time for you to wake up now. You have things to do."
Taking a deep breath, Yugi stirred and slowly blinked his eyes open, remembering after a moment where he was. The dim red light of sunset filtered into his room, mainly through the skylight, revealing it to be his true room and not the version of his inner mind cluttered with extra items. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, the Millennium Puzzle on its chain jingling as its familiar weight sagged against his chest. Yugi smiled to himself and realized that he actually did feel a bit better now, as he got up to take care of his chores.
Author's Note:
Digging through my fanfiction library, I came across this. It has been forever since was written. Middle School maybe? I figured I might as well post it here. This will my first story posted here on ffnet. I don't really know what all goes into it. Maybe someone who knows more can tell me what this "beta" thing is and if I need one? Till next time.
Locondra