"So what now?" Tony Stark asked. He flipped the face plate up on his Iron Man armor and looked around, feeling grateful that he and the Avengers had managed to subdue Loki with minimum damage to New York City.

"We separate. Again." Steve Rogers put his shield back on his back.

"Yeah, I've got S.H.I.E.L.D. stuff. Phil would probably kill me if I..." Clint Barton stopped his sentence abruptly. There was one thing he wasn't supposed to discuss with the rest of the Avengers-outside Natasha Romanoff-it was the survival of Agent Phil Coulson. "You know?" He said after a pause.

"Phil?" Tony asked. "As in Coulson?"

"No!" Clint laughed. "Phil as in..."

"Smith." Natasha said quickly. "Phil Smith. He's our new handler." Clint and Natasha exchanged quick glances.

They knew that recently Phil Coulson had taken on the responsibility of fatherhood. Two kids. Max and Dana. At first, Clint had been skeptical and almost certain that Phil wanted to bring the kids into SHIELD to be agents somehow. It was only when he caught Phil reading Goodnight Moon to the younger child-Dana-that Clint realized that Phil actually wanted to be a father and not only that, but he enjoyed it.

"I didn't know you got a new handler." Steve put his hands on his hips. "When did that happen?"

"A few days after the Battle of New York." Clint said.

Again, they both knew the general circumstances surrounding Phil's survival-or rather his reanimation-and that Nick Fury 'moved Heaven and Earth' to bring him back. Clint sighed and Tony shot him a sympathetic glance.

"That soon, huh?"

"How else did they expect us to get shit done, Tony?"

"Hang on, who are we talking about here?" A new Avenger asked as he landed on the ground carefully. Falcon-AKA Sam Wilson. His mechanical wings retracted into his backpack.

"You wouldn't know him, Wilson." Tony waved him off.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Our old handler." Clint said.

"Like S.H.I.E.L.D.-S.H.I.E.L.D. or Hydra-S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Sam asked skeptically.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.-S.H.I.E.L.D." Clint and Natasha said in unison.

"He i-was one of the good guys." Natasha almost caught herself speaking of Phil in the present tense.

"Best guy I've ever known." Clint sighed.

"He was a bit obsessive about me-in fact he was very obsessive about me. One time told me about his vintage card collection, you know, of me and then he told me that he watched me sleep when I was practically in a coma. It was borderline... "

"Like Misery?" Tony joked.

"What? No. Is this another reference I don't get?"

Tony nodded.

"No, it was just creepy." Steve said.

"The Son of Coul was indeed a most gracious ally." Thor added.

"What do you guys remember most about him?" Sam asked, keen to know more about the man they were talking about. Everyone paused for a moment to remember Phil. Except Natasha and Clint who knew full well he was alive and had talked to him many times in the just over four years since the Battle of New York. Clint spoke up first.

"He was like a father to me. Despite being only something like fifteen years older."

"Me too." Natasha said. "In many ways, Clint and I were his children."

"He idolized me. He was my biggest fan." Steve sighed and hung his head. "And I never did sign those Captain America cards for him."

"I remember how he locked me inside a room and tied me up to ask questions." Thor frowned. "But then he became a much doted upon ally before my brother wickedly speared him through the heart." Thor sighed. "But what can I say." He added. "He's adopted."

"Well, I remember how Phil threatened to tase me and watch Supernanny." Tony smiled. "In fact, I think that's the only thing I knew about him, that he liked Supernanny. Heh." The smile on Tony's face widened.

It got Clint thinking if only Tony knew half the shit that Phil watched-and still doeswatch. Supernanny trumps Kardashians any day of the week.

"I really should have made more of an effort to get to know him. Even from Pepper." Tony's beaming smile quickly turned into a small, solemn one.

"He liked the Kardashians too." Natasha offered. Everyone started laughing as they walked away from the battle site together.

The next day, Nick Fury called the Avengers into his office.

"What's this about, Fury?" Tony asked arrogantly.

"It's about you. The Avengers." Fury said irritatedly. "You're still not working well as a team." He growled. "Barnes, I don't remember seeing you at the battle yesterday." He said coldly, his eye focusing on Bucky, who was squirming in his seat. "Well, Barton and Romanoff work really well together, but I'd expect nothing less off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finest assets." His eye quickly darted towards Steve. "As do Cap and Wilson." He exhaled sharply. "And as much as I hate to say it, Stark and Banner work alright together, too. But that's just it, isn't it? You're not supposed to be duos..." Fury slammed the palms of his hands down on the table so quickly that it startled everyone sitting at it. "You're supposed to be a TEAM!" Everyone looked down sheepishly. "What's wrong with asking that the Avengers-a team of superheroes-work as a team?"

"Nothing, Fury, I..."

"Shut it, Stark." Fury snapped.

Tony slunk back into his seat.

"You not working as a team... You're disrespecting the memory of Agent Phil Coulson."

Everyone's eyes widened in horror at the thought of that. Even Clint and Natasha pulled it off convincingly. Mostly because they actually wereshocked at the thought of disrespecting their good friend and handler.

"With all due respect, Sir, I..."

"Shut up, Cap." Fury glared at Steve with his one eye.

"No offense, Sir, but I outrank you."

"In the military, maybe. But this is S.H.I.E.L.D., goddamn it!"

Steve bit his lip and sat back down.

"Now, I believe we've had this little discussion before. Coulson believed in you guys and that you could work together. I'm not seeing any evidence of that. Answer me honestly now; are you?" Nobody dared answer. "I take your stony silence to mean "no" then. You are not seeing evidence of teamwork." Fury grunted out of annoyance. "Maybe it's because I let you split up after missions. You need to get to know and like each other." He pulled out an envelope from his trench coat. "So congratulations. Here's your new assignment." He said, flinging it on the table.

Sam reached over and grabbed the envelope. As he opened it, everyone peered at him.

"Fury, what's the meaning of this?" Sam asked. "It's eight tickets to Disney World. And over a grand in... Disney Dollars."

"Correction, Wilson. It's eight-one for each of you-seven day tickets to Disney World. Wasn't sure if you wanted the Park Hopper option, so that's included too."

"This isn't a mission, you're really sending us on vacation?" Clint asked, panic slowly filling his voice.

"Yeah, I'm sending you on vacation. And you're going together and most of all, you're gonna like it."

Even though the Avengers were told that they'd be going to Disney World, groans still filled the room.

"Why are we off to another realm-I am still learning to understand Midgard." Thor whined loudly. But not quite loud enough for the others not to be understood.

"I could've paid for this if I wanted to." Tony complained.

"Disney World? I'm not a child!" Natasha narrowed her eyes and folded her arms.

"Vacation? Why vacation? Not fair." Clint grumbled.

"How will it look, eight adults going to Disney World? It looks bad." Sam moaned.

"What if the Other Guy comes out and I break something?" Bruce asked through legitimate concern. "That Small World song would be just enough to set him off. Everything could."

"Why can't we just 'bond' here? Why do we have to go wherever Disney World is?" Bucky groaned. "This isn't fair!"

"What's Disney World? Is it exactly what I think it is? Like the Walt Disney studios or something?" Steve asked. "Why do we have to go? Why with Tony?"

"SHUT UP!" Fury bellowed out.

Everyone stopped talking, even if they were mid word.

"I will not have petty squabbling in my motherfucking office!"

Steve blushed.

"Nor will I have eight immature superheroes talking over each other and giving me a motherfucking headache!" Fury said, glaring at everyone. "You will go on this vacation. You will bond. And you will like it." Fury said, each statement getting more stern than the last. "Are we understood here?"

Everyone nodded, mostly out of fear.

"Your flight leaves in three hours. Go and pack. And before you say anything, Stark, I didn't trust you and your private jet. That's why you're taking a commercial airliner."

"First class?" Tony asked nervously.

Fury raised an eyebrow. "No." He said angrily.

Tony looked almost fearful. He was the great Tony Stark! He flew everywhere by his private jet. Or his Iron Man suit. He flew commercial a few times, but never in... Coach.

"Everyone okay with that?"

Everyone nodded, again out of fear.

"Good. Now get the hell out of my office."

The Avengers each scrambled out of Nick Fury's office because they didn't want to face his wrath. He was quite terrifying when he was angry.

Phil Coulson was in the kitchenette of his apartment making pancakes for himself and his children. He smiled to himself knowing how lucky he was. Yes, he was still suffering the effects of being stabbed and killed by Loki-in the form of flashbacks and nightmares-but he had kids. Kids he needed to look out for. Kids that were sitting on the floor playing Lego while PBS Kids blared from the TV. Phil had tried to turn the TV off before he started on the pancakes, but loud protests from both kids meant that Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood was now gracing his TV screen. Not that he minded. His youngest, Dana, was four and his oldest, Max, was still only six.

Phil looked over at his kids, having fun together and then down at the pancakes. Today was the day he was taking a well earned vacation. Today was the day he was taking his kids with him. Today was the day he told his kids that they're going to Disney World. And he was going to do it using pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse. He took another look at his kids and his heart filled with joy, seeing his daughter and son playing together, his daughter helping her brother as they stacked the Lego bricks higher.

Phil sighed as he started humming the theme to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood to himself and began to set the table for breakfast. Forks-especially his daughter's Disney Princess fork. She wouldn't eat a meal without it. He filled cups with milk and set them out on the table, remembering that Dana would only drink pink milk from her Frozen cup. He knew he had to break his daughter off her obsession with Disney Princesses and for the next two weeks, he would be playing directly into it. Maple syrup and squirty cream went on the table-at the middle-along with the fresh fruit, because canned wasn't good enough for the Coulson children.

Finally, Phil took out the plates for his meticulously sculpted pancakes. He carefully took out of the pan and set them down on the small designated plates, his daughter's being on a Disney Princess plate and his son's being on a Captain America plate. His own was on a slightly larger Captain America plate. Phil didn't feel bad for passing on his obsession with Captain America down to his son, nor did he see a problem with it. He only saw a problem with obsessions over things not named 'Captain America'.

"Alright kids, come and get it!" Phil called. He watched as his daughter jumped and skipped about her brother as he rose unsteadily onto his feet.

While Dana pranced gracefully to the table, Max wobbled uncertainly and Phil walked over to him.

"Need some help, buddy?" He asked.

Max nodded and Phil offered his son his hand. Max took it. They walked carefully to the table together and sat down.

"What's this, Daddy?" Dana asked.

"Pancakes." Phil smiled innocently.

"Why are they shaped like Mickey Mouse?" Max asked, more pressingly.

"Because today, I'm taking you to Disney World." He looked at his kids' shocked expressions. He wasn't quite sure they believed him. "What?" He asked, shoving a piece of pancake in his mouth. "I am." Phil's phone started to ring and he fumbled about in his pocket before he found it. "Hang on kids. Go watch Daniel Tiger." He smiled. "Coulson." He said instinctively as he raised the phone to his ear.

"Phil, it's Maria." The voice on the other end of the phone said.

"Maria, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly, standing up from the table.

"I know you're planning to take your kids to Disney World today."

Phil nodded even though he knew Maria couldn't see him.

"It's just that..." She paused.

"Go on."

"You heard what happened yesterday, with Loki?" She said gently. As he groaned, Maria sighed, knowing that Loki was a touchy subject for Phil. "Phil?" She prompted after not hearing anything for a while. "Still there, buddy?"

"Yeah. I heard. I heard there was some trouble in New York. No casualties and minimal damage." He said.

"That's right. Well the Avengers aren't getting on, so Fury..."

"What are you getting at, Maria?" Phil asked, sounding nervous.

"Watch your back when you're at Disney World. Fury's sent them there for the next two weeks on a 'bonding mission'-eight of them."

There was a loud crash as Phil dropped the phone. He looked horrified.

"Phil? Phil are you there? Are you alright? Are you there?" Maria asked through the phone.

"Daddy? What's the matter?" Dana asked looking up, her eyes full of concern for her father.

Phil snapped back into consciousness upon hearing his daughter's voice. "Yeah, I'm fine honey, go back to Daniel Tiger." He said, picking up his dropped phone.

Dana turned back to play with her brother.

"What was that?" Maria asked on the other line.

"Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. My daughter loves it. My son, too. I remember Mister Rogers though. I grew up watching the guy-loved him almost as much as a certain other Mr. Rogers, I did when..."

"Phil, you're rambling." Maria said coldly.

"Sorry." Phil said sheepishly.

"Are you okay with the Avengers being in Disney World? Do you want to cancel?" Maria asked, concerned.

"Nah, I'll do it." Phil smiled. "After all..." He added. "What's the worst that can happen?"

A/N: I know I have another Avengers story on the go, but I couldn't resist posting this one up too. This one's light-hearted and fun as opposed to my other one. Or at least it's supposed to be. I mean, Coulson's a single dad to two adopted kids in this one and the Avengers still just don't get along. Or know that Coulson's alive. And yet, they're going to be at Disney World at the exact same time. Fortunately for Coulson, Maria Hill is babysitting the Avengers and knows he's alive. With her help, he can avoid being caught by Captain America and his group of extraordinary misfits right? Yep. That's what Coulson thought too.

Cue the madness.