A/N: Well, I say 666, but it's more like 400+266 = 666 because I forcefully cut it into two parts because I wanted a 4 (and the 666, evidently.

I wanted to do 444+222 but uh, well. Next time, maybe.

My thoughts on this are: freak how do you Arima all I wanted to do was write some not-so-tragic Arima/SasaKane and my brain threw all these symbols at me and I went: fuck this. It's also my first try at second-person PoV?

It's not angsty. I think. It's a lot of word-puke as usual. May or may not flow. And my grammar choices are intentional... (as usual) or at least I think I've caught all the errors I could.

That said I should be writing my Free! fluff why am I doing this;; I have really angsty feels now since I fell deep into the TG hole and couldn't get myself out. I'M HERE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS PAIR WHICH I WILL GO DOWN WITH.

I wrote this to Lana Del Rey, btw. She and Taylor Swift (yes, uh, some of her songs kinda fit) are like my TG pairs BGM (I feel... weird saying this)

Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re or Tokyo Ghoul √A, they are created by Ishida Sui and Studio Pierrot. This is a non-profit document.

"I'm really happy living like this."

He tells you one day, a day after he lost control. A day after he reawakens.

An entire plethora of emotions assaults you once again. None of which you were familiar with. Pity, guilt, affection.

You've had your share of friendships and respect for others – after all, that's what you would label Taishi and Take as – but never in your life had you experienced anything so strong. So consuming.

That fateful meeting replays in front of your eyes, and you can see and feel and hear everything again vividly – the flowing crimson of the pooling blood, the unadulterated white of his hair and the stark contrast of his kakugan.

Above all, you can still hear the same voice – that beautiful sound – reciting the words, those accursed words that had you falling, falling.

(Falling where?)

You don't know, for never in your – logical, rigid, dull – life have you experienced anything as exhilarating as this.

Never has your heart beat so strongly, and never has the world seem so bright and splendid.

You can even smell the vague scent of the sudden rain that had flowed into the pipes of V14, a pure scent unperturbed by even the tangy stench of blood.

Pure and white, just like him.

You think for just a moment that he had looked beautiful being bathed in red.

Affection.

Love.

You may have read somewhere that it's a poison that kills, slowly and beautifully.

"Arima-san?" He looks at you quizzically. You simply smile, and reached up to ruffle his duo-coloured – inside, you wished so, so fervently that the silky strands were pure white instead and it hurts – hair.

He returns that smile with a grin, bright and angelic. It gives his features a radiant glow, one that looks beautiful on him.

You suddenly feel your palm burn and your heart ache from a sudden influx of guilt, and the features overlap with another set filled with despair – the carmine streaming down his face as his graceful voice breezes through the area filled with annihilation and ruin –

A world where only the both of you existed, touched by death; where you were his death god and the symbol of his oblivion.

he is ainu, his eyebrows sparkling… he polishes, cross-legged, his makiri… perishes, a living corpse… his breath alone.

And you can't help but to think that perhaps, that had been paradise.

He leaves, but not before giving you a look of utter adoration and gratefulness.

You wonder, if – when – his memories return, would he still look at you the same? Would he still let you near him, shower him with affection and talk about his favourite books?

Would he still say that he is content with his life?

Would he still love you and let you love him as he does now?

At night, when you're alone at home and there is nothing except the silence to accompany you, you think about who he had been, who he is, and who he will become.

The uncertainty scares you, and you've never felt fear in your life either.

But strangely, the thought also brings a pleasant tingle to your fingertips, and you can almost envision a repeat of your very first meeting.

There was no way that the dazzling lycoris radiata field was going to leave your memories, ever.

That pitiful hybrid, tragically beautiful in his rage and struggle with madness.

It makes you wonder if he would have been happier if you had offered him his final ecstasy, for you had seen a certain kind of rapture bloom in him at the thought of death.

Greed had overtaken you for the first time in your life, however, as you picked him up gently and locked him up in a cold, dead case. The raindrops and remnants of death had been your only audience that day.

And on the edge of sleep, you come to the conclusion that if you are his higanbana, he will be your belladonna.

My take on Arima comes from Pixiv, where Japanese fans have polluted (and I love it alright?) my brain about his dedication to Haise/Kanekyun.

I've read some not-so-flattering fan theories about him but I'd like to think that he really cares for Haise. Kaneki's a grey-area since all we know about those two was the curb-stomp battle and the fact that Kaneki thought Arima to be beautiful and Arima liked Kaneki's reciting (which, by the way, is a huge hit amongst Japanese fans hurh).

In the end I'd like to think that he's still human and capable of emotions, but he's never met someone important enough to him to bring out that side of him. Look at what Kaneki did to Tsukiyama. I don't mind him doing the same to Arima :)

But, ouch;;, that stab in the eye has got to hurt. Arima you arse.

I love Arima/Sasaki-Kaneki though, as much as I love Amon/Kane and Tsuki/Kane.

Too bad other than Tsuki/Kane the other two are still pretty rare ships here. I mean hello guys there's a decent amount for them on pixiv /sobs.

Btw if you didn't get some of the symbols I suggest you do some research on lycoris radiata (you can't not know this flower as a fan of TG) and deadly nightshade. Or even on the numbers 4 and 666 if you're confused about those choices (I don't know how that's possible, though).

BTW SASAKO IS QUEEN.