HELLO ONE AND ALL!

This is The_Draigg and -Falcyon- here to bring you a new project! That's right, this is the collab fic that was meant to be! Foretold by the Oracle of Na's-Deth herself! It was written in the stars, and it lives in our hearts! FEEL THE BURNING HEAT OF OUR FIERY PASSION FOR WRITING AND OTHER ASSORTED THINGS! GGGGRRRRAAAHHHHHHH!

For those of you who don't know, RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth and is the exceptional brainchild of Based God Monty Oum. We don't own it or anything else referenced in this fic. No seriously, please don't sue us.

Without any further ado, it's time for...

Placebo

"...And so then I said, 'Could you please move?', and he said 'No' and then he pulled an ear! It really hurt!"

"So how did that make you feel?"

"I just told you! It hurt! A lot!"

Velvet Scarlatina wasn't exactly what you would call "temperamentally normal" or "unanxious." In fact, she was the downright opposite. If a normal person could be a nervous wreck, then Velvet could be a nervous Michael Bay style five-hundred car pile-up. Except without the busty women and weird nerds, of course. Velvet was only an average-sized lady. And she didn't have cool adventures with robots. Except for when she helped fight off Grimm in Vale, but that's not important right now. What is important is that Velvet was so high-strung from academics and bullying that she had decided to see a shrink.

Anyway, because Velvet was such a pent-up mess, she was a lot like a cannibal's freezer: full of unpleasant surprises. And her shrink had to hear it all. Between how Velvet may or may not have taken secret photos of people while they weren't looking, and the fact that she had the backbone of a bowl of jell-o, something really needed to be done about her anxious disorder.

"What do you think a solution to this problem is," the poor shrink said with a bored tone. He couldn't believe he had to sit through this, but at least she was paying a hefty premium. She obviously really wanted his help.

"...Run away and try not to cry," Velvet tenuously offered.

"How about we try something a little more…" Doctor Rosencrantz paused. "...practical?"

"P-practical?" Velvet stuttered. She always figured her solution was pretty practical. After all, she always managed to hide her crying from the rest of her team, so they wouldn't do something risky for her sake. "L-l-like w-what?"

"I can write a prescription for some antidepressants-"

"NO, not antidepressants," Velvet squealed.

Doctor Rosencrantz studied her for a moment before turning back to his Scroll.

"Well, I do have this experimental new pill that's supposed to 'reverse' a person's timid nature, in essence. What do you think?"

He showed her a picture of a small pink pill with a long, complicated name she couldn't hope to pronounce, surrounded by a full wall of disclaimer text.

"P-Pentazemin? Am I pronouncing that right?" Velvet muttered, looking at the mess of words about the pill. She could have sworn that it said one of the positive effects was reducing hand tremors. Huh, what an odd effect. But, if it could do that, it could probably stop her from uncontrollably shaking whenever she saw... she saw... Cardin Winchester. The thought of his name alone made a small chill run up Velvet's spine. She utterly feared/loathed that man.

"That's right," Doctor Rosencrantz said, "It'll be the solution to the... many problems you've told me about."

"They got rid of my secret photos," Velvet wailed.

"Right..." Doctor Rosencrantz muttered, "Well, with this prescription, you won't need to take them anymore. As your doctor, I must recommend this treatment. Plus, your insurance will cover the bulk of cost, so you don't have to worry about it eating through your wallet."

"It's-it's not going to do something w-weird to me, is it? Like, make my hair fall out or something," questioned Velvet.

"Oh, not at all. Medical science is highly advanced. I doubt most those side-effects will happen to you. It's all a statistically proven science," reassured Doctor Rosencrantz.

Velvet scratched the base of one of her rabbit ears. "I dunno..."

Doctor Rosencrantz looked her in the eyes and talked in a stern but gentle voice. "Listen, Velvet. This will undoubtedly solve many of the problems you… discussed... with me. Do you want to be less high-strung, or more? I don't want to see you jumping at your own shadow."

Velvet shifted in her armchair uncomfortably. She DID want to get better. After all, wasn't this what her money was going towards? But, she didn't want to be dependent on pills, either. Velvet wanted to be Velvet, not some drugged-up zombie. It wasn't an easy choice for her to make.

"Velvet, this is a yes or no choice. Do you want to be able to face your fears and function better in society?" Doctor Rosencrantz continued in his almost fatherly tone.

"Well… Yeah, but-"

"Great!" Doctor Rosencrantz ecstatically scribbled something on his note pad and handed Velvet a note that was practically indecipherable. What she didn't know was that he had actually prescribed a placebo. Hopefully she had the ability to make the change for herself and not get hooked on drugs. "Here's the prescription. We should start you out on just one capsule a day and see how that goes, okay? Great! Give this to the receptionist and have a nice day!" He enthusiastically pushed Velvet out the door, eager to get her out.

"Buh- Ah- Wait, Doctor!" Velvet sputtered as she was shoved out of the office. But, her calls were ignored, and the door slammed in her face. The receptionist, a young, stout woman with a kind face looked up from her computer.

"Ah yes, Miss Scarlatina," she said, "I see the doc wrote you a prescription! Let me take that for you! The prescription will be available at Beacon's medical wing tomorrow. Hope I see you again soon! Or rather not, we don't want this to be too often!" She chuckled at her little joke and waved Velvet out into the waiting room.

"I-I," Velvet gave up trying to fight it. She probably really did need those pills. "T-thank you, Miss!"

At that, Velvet turned on her heel and walked out of the psychiatrist's office. Maybe this was going to be for the better after all. The money she poured into this venture should make sure she got the best in mental health care.

THE NEXT DAY...

That mid-day, Velvet felt that she was more than ready to take those pills she got from the Student Health Center. Oh, that was going to be the highlight of her day so far. And no, that wasn't a good thing. Here's the list of things Velvet had to deal with so far today (and almost every day):

She woke up on the floor. Again.

Coco used all the hot water in the shower. Again.

She only had mismatched socks to wear. Again.

The cafeteria had run out of Ranch Dressing. Again. What kind of cafeteria runs out of the most necessary condiment on Remnant?!

Cardin had flipped up her skirt as he passed her on the way to class. Again.

Cardin tripped her on the way out of class. Again.

In class, Cardin wouldn't stop throwing paper wads at her ears. One of them got lodged uncomfortably in her ear canal.

Her Dad forgot to make his weekly scroll call.

After leaving to pick up her new prescription, she somehow tripped on her own foot on the way out of the classroom building.

So, yeah, Velvet was more than ready to feel better about herself and her day.

She headed towards her dorm, hoping to make it back in time so she could take the Pentazemin pills without the rest of her team catching on. She didn't want them to know she needed to take drugs to fix her problems. Speaking of problems…

"Heeeeey there," came an obnoxious voice from behind Velvet. She groaned inwardly. Not this asshat again. She turned to face the ridiculously ugly mug of none other than Cardin Winchester.

"...f-fucking c-c-cunt," Velvet muttered under her breath. Cardin didn't hear her as he started into his usual tirade.

"Sooooo," he said, venom dripping from the disgusting gaping maw that had opened in his face - oh wait, that was his mouth. "What've you been up to, bun bun? Why were you at the medical wing? You don't look sick. Oh! Did that big dumb gorilla on your team finally knock you up? Squeak once if I'm right!" Cardin took this opportunity to yank on Velvet's ears, eliciting a small 'eep!' crom the poor bunny girl.

"Hahaha! I knew it! Don't name the poor bastard, though. You might get attached." Cardin wiggled his fingers, taunting Velvet as per usual. Velvet's face went bright red. She and Yatsuhashi? Not in a million years! He was the big brother she never had, and in this case, incest was not wincest, even metaphorically speaking.

"N-no! We d-didn't do anything like th-that," Velvet weakly protested in the face of her mortal tormentor.

"So what DID you guys do? Butt stuff?"

Velvet was more scarlet than her last name. "W-w-w-w-what?"

"Actually..." Cardin leered, circling Velvet like a cougar playing with its prey. "That wouldn't be good enough for you, wouldn't it? Maybe you did stuff that would make even a seasoned whore blush. Admit it, did your pet ape fuck you sideways?"

"I-I-I- Wh-what?" Velvet wanted to shrivel up and die right there. Why did this have to happen to her today? This was the first day of change, a new beginning. The shit had hit the fan and was being flung around the room by the fan blades. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"You heard me," sneered Cardin, getting up in Velvet's face. "You're just a cheap lay. Figures as much coming from a Faunus. Especially a rabbit Faunus. You're a fucking freak..."

Velvet was really trying her best to not cry right now. But, she was failing miserably in that task. She just couldn't hold back the streams of mucus and tears that came with her miserable weeping.

"Aww, the truth hurts, doesn't it?" Cardin's malicious grin was so wide you could see where his wisdom teeth were starting to grow in.

Velvet couldn't come up with a suitable reply at all. All she could think about was how much she hated Cardin, and how sad and miserable he made her feel. So, instead of a quip, comeback, or any type of response at all, Velvet relied on the survival instincts that rabbits naturally had. In other words, she gave Cardin a small shove to the chest and ran away.

"Yeah, run! But facts are still facts!" Cardin yelled at Velvet as the rabbit girl sprinted away.

Tears clouded Velvet's vision as she ran anywhere, anywhere to get away from that jerk. She kept on running as fast as her legs could. But, even though she got away from the immediate problem, she couldn't help but feel that Cardin was right about one thing: what he said still stayed in her head, taunting her. She somehow made it back to her dorm, slamming into the door as she pulled her Scroll out to unlock it, her eyes and face still soaked with her tears.

Velvet bolted inside and slammed the door. She collapsed against it and slid to the floor, sobbing. But, she realized that she was sitting on something. Reaching into her skirt pocket, Velvet pulled out the small, orange bottle that had her prescription. Those we supposed to make her feel better about herself, right? Well, she was more than ready for that to happen.

Without a second thought, Velvet twisted off the bottle cap and poured some of the pills in her hand. Doctor Rosencrantz said to only take one a day, but Velvet felt that wasn't enough to make her feel better. So, instead she popped three pills into her mouth and swallowed. Now feeling a little calmer, she read the label on the bottle.

Prescribed for Velvet A. Scarlatina by Doctor Guild Rosencrantz. ONLY take ONE pill by mouth daily. Warning: Pill takes 30 min. to 1 hour to take effect. Take with food or drink. Refills left: 2.

Food or drink? Well, Velvet certainly didn't think this through if she just swallowed the pills dry. Getting up from her crouched position, Velvet moved her tired legs over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the dorm. Looking inside, Velvet didn't see much. Just a few bottles of sports drink, a half eaten sandwich, and Coco's cans of weird, imported coffee.

Velvet had never really been a big coffee drinker. Tea was more her speed. but, if these pills were going to make her bold, she should try bold new things, right? She reached past the bottles of Alligator and grabbed a can of coffee.

Without a second thought, she opened the can and chugged it down. Christ, that was bitter. If someone had the brilliant idea to sell liquid tar as a beverage, then that coffee was probably the end result. Honestly, if Coco could drink this stuff like it was water, then she was an even stronger lady than Velvet thought.

Now that her capsules were washed down with a generous helping of gut rot- scratch that, imported coffee, all Velvet had to do now was wait for the effects to kick in. Velvet lied down face up on her bed. She couldn't' help but feel a little excited for what was going to happen. At least she could now be the healthy, normally adjusted person she always wanted to be.

ONE HOUR AND FIVE MINUTES LATER...

Coco, Fox, and Yatsuhashi walked down the corridors of the Dormitory Wing. It was a rather common thing to have Velvet just meet them at their dorm room. Her teammates knew well enough that she was a... rather sensitive person. So, none of them really minded when Velvet went ahead of them. They understood their friend well enough to let her be who she was.

As such, they weren't talking about her absence at all. Instead, they were talking about something completely irrelevant.

"I'm just saying, a little guy-liner would do WONDERS for your looks, Fox," Coco said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And I'm saying I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all," Fox argued back. Behind him, Yatsu silently nodded in agreement. He just couldn't see Fox pulling something that specific off at all.

"None of you would know what good taste was if it stared you in the face," Coco groaned. Anticipating Fox's rebuttal, she quickly added, "You know what I mean, Fox."

Fox lifted his hands in frustration. "Listen, we were discussing the homework and you suddenly turned this into Coco's Fabulous Makeup Challenge. You can't just use us for practice for when your 'beauty channel makes it big.' I still have the chemical burn on my back from last time- You hear that?"

Fox stopped dead in his tracks. Coco didn't understand until she heard the distant thumping of what sounded like a rave party. It was coming from the direction of their dorm. they resumed walking, and sure enough, as they approached the door, it got louder and louder until they arrived. Yatsu opened the door.

"DON'T MESS WITH THE RABBIT - WHOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEE"

What Velvet was doing was so out of character that Yatsu couldn't help but blink and rub his eyes at the sight.

There Velvet was, dancing to what sounded like a wad of tin foil shoved into a garbage disposal unit. In other words, a heavy dubstep song. Not only that, but she was wearing entirely different clothes than what she was wearing a little while ago. Gone was her uniform skirt, blouse, and blazer. Instead, she was wearing her black tanktop, her favorite brown track jacket, and a pair of grey jeans. Yatsu had no idea she even owned a pair that tight. Yet again, she could have just taken it out of Coco's drawer.

"Velvet?" Yatsu tried to ask over the dubstep. However, he was drowned out by how loud the song was. Plus, it wasn't like Velvet was going to notice him while she was dancing and wub-wubbing along with the track like that.

"BWAH bwahbwahwhawha WUB bah bahbahbahbahbah," loudly wubbed Velvet. That weird hand dance... thing... whatever she was doing sure as hell didn't look like dancing. It looked like a ghost had possessed her hands and she was trying to fight it off.

Hearing the commotion, Fox and Coco walked into the room as well. And they were about as roughly as confused as Yatsu was.

"Uhh... what," was all Fox could say.

Coco took her sunglasses off in shock. This was worse than that one shock site she saw about goatse. "The fuck...?" she muttered to herself.

Velvet danced around until she made eye contact with the rest of the team. "'Sup," she nonchalantly yelled over the music. She flashed the classic double finger-pistols gesture that had gone out of style around ten years ago.

Fox barged his way past the stunned Coco and Yatsu. As he walked up to Velvet, he tried to shout, "Turn it down! You're bursting my eardrums with that trash!"

Not that Velvet heard him, of course, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Velvet danced over to the speaker and turned the volume down on her own accord.

"Hey guys," Velvet pulled out a brown pair of Ray Bans and plonked them on her face. "Welcome back!"

"Vel…," Coco said, still trying to take everything in. "Just... huh?"

"Guys, you wouldn't BELIEVE how I feel right now!" Velvet gushed, making a grand sweeping gesture.

Coco's fears were now being realized. Did Velvet accidentally ingest ecstasy or something?

"Velvet, did you accidentally ingest ecstasy or something," Coco said, mimicking her thoughts exactly.

"No." Velvet thought for a moment. "But I did get these great pills from my shrink!"

"YOU WHAT?! What are they called?" Coco demanded to know.

"Pent-pe-pentza- Oh! Pentazemin! It's helping with my nerves!" merrily explained Velvet. Then, her attention was suddenly grabbed by a passing thought. "Guys, how about we go get some fuckin' BARBECUE?!" Her mouth started watering uncontrollably.

Velvet could actually swear? Now that came as a shock to the rest of her friends. It was as if the real Velvet was body-snatched and this was her robot copy. Albeit a very loud, animated robot with an attitude.

"Come on!" Velvet grabbed Fox and Yatsuhashi's hands and scooped Coco up in the crook of her arm. Before anyone could protest, Team CVFY was pushed out of their room by Velvet's urging. They didn't even have the chance to change out of their school uniforms.

But, Velvet's desire to ingest the roasted remains of animals covered in sauce just couldn't be denied. They sped down the halls and out the front door to the airship docks. Velvet had failed to remember that only two airships came through per day and the next one didn't arrive for another 3 hours. Oh well, time didn't matter to Velvet. All that did was getting some delicious ribs into her stomach.

FOUR HOURS AND 10000 LIEN IN TAXI FARE LATER...

By the time Team CFVY had reached a decent barbeque joint in Vale City, it was already becoming dusk. How the hell did they get dragged on this adventure, anyway? Oh, right. Their friend was on happy pills and was seriously jonesing for some fire roasted meat.

"Here it is," Velvet announced loudly, which made the team wince. Her friends were still trying to get used to this new, rambunctious Velvet.

Coco was absolutely mortified to be in public in her school clothes. They weren't fashion conscious at all! That skirt with that jacket?! The thought alone of someone wearing their school uniform was enough to make Coco feel nauseous, and now SHE was the one breaking all fashion laws. Now she had a good idea how Velvet felt whenever she was anxious.

"Can we please just go in?" Coco hurriedly said, already walking into the restaurant. Nodding enthusiastically in energetic agreement, Velvet ushered them all into the restaurant.

The server was tall, lanky and had a very large nose. "Welcome to the Little Rooster B-B-Q! My name's Gav- Oh! Hi there Velvet! Table for four? Right this way!" He led them to a special table in the back of the restaurant, secluded from the rest of the world. "Here's the usual table for ya, miss!"

"Velvet? How do they know your name?" Fox couldn't help but ask as he sat down.

"Oh, I used to come here aaaalll the time," Velvet said. "The food's out of this world and the servers are really funny! Plus, you can enter a contest where you play video games against some of the staff. It's really fun!"

As everyone settled in at the table, Velvet watched the others look at their menus. She didn't need to look at hers. She already knew what she was going to get, and the waiters did, too. The Crybaby pork ribs with a tall glass of root beer was practically her mana from the heavens.

"What do you recommend?" Yatsu politely asked Velvet as he scanned the menu.

"Hmm..." Velvet leaned over the table to look directly at Yatsu's menu. "I guess for you, the Monty Oum Special is pretty unique, it's pizza dipped in miso soup. Kind of a strange choice, but it tastes amazing!"

"Where the hell did they get that idea?" Fox thought out loud.

Velvet shrugged. "Some place called Neo Kobe. Never really heard much about it. I couldn't find it on a map either. Huh. Oh well!"

Fox put his menu down in frustration. He was legally blind (and dyslexic) for god's sakes. "What would you suggest for me, Velvet," he asked.

Velvet looked back at Yatsu's menu. "What about this?" She pointed at some unholy mixture of bacon, spaghetti, and maple syrup. Fox got even more frustrated. "Right," Velvet said, "Blind and all. Uh… It's called Barb's Canadian Surprise."

"What's it made of," inquired Fox.

"Uhh… It's a surprise?"

Fox groaned. "Pass. I'll get the pasta alfredo. That's always a choice."

Velvet looked back at Yatsu's menu. Well, they didn't have that EXACTLY, but there was something close. It was called Pasta Gustavo-Sorola. It had red sauce instead of white sauce, and Velvet was pretty sure the sauce was made with a lot of booze in it. But, that's what gave the pasta its kick (and made it a popular order, to boot).

"...Okay, I'll get you some pasta," conceded Velvet. Now that she was done deciding Fox and Yatsu's orders, she looked over to Coco. To Velvet's indignation, her friend was holding up her jacket collar, trying to hide her face.

"Yo, what the hell, Coco? You don't want to be seen with us?" Velvet pouted.

Coco jumped a little at the sound of her name. She was trying to hide, damn it! Oh, the shame of it all! "I, uh, no, Velvs. I just... ermm... don't want to be seen wearing this, is all," she muttered lowly.

"Here," Velvet interjected. She pulled her jacket off and handed it to Coco. She took it gingerly, and stripped off her horrible, ugly school jacket.

Now that she had at least something more acceptable to wear, Coco sat up a little straighter and looked at her menu. However, she wasn't really interested in anything on there at all. Barbecue sauce was messy, and Coco wouldn't stand for it ruining her clothes, even if they were borrowed/part of her school uniform.

"I'm not getting anything," Coco announced to the table. that statement made Velvet slump into her seat with shock. How could she NOT partake in the feast that was delicious barbecue?!

"W-what? No, you have to!" Velvet protested, wildly flailing her arms.

"I'm fine, really. I'll just get a drink," Coco said, trying to get Velvet to calm down.

"No, it's unacceptable! Unacceptable!" Velvet complained further. "You must try something!"

Coco cringed a little. "Velvet, calm down, you're making a scene!" she hissed.

"So what?! You're damn right I am! You're not eating this delicious food! Think about the starving children in Vacuo! It would be a waste not to eat it!" ranted Velvet.

"Velvet, please calm yourself," Yatsu added in, quietly.

"No! No no no! She's WRONG!" Velvet yelled, slamming her fists on the table. By now, it was almost certain that the other customers could hear her. The more Velvet kept pounding on the table, the more splinters flew into the air.

"God! Fine, I'll order some damn food!" caved in Coco. She then pointed at a random item on the menu and said, "There! I'll have that!"

Velvet immediately stopped her tantrum and looked over to what Coco was pointing at. "Oh, that's a good choice!" she happily chirped. "Trust me, the Jones Bowl is really good!"

Now Coco was feeling more confused than ever. "H-huh?"

"The Jones Bowl, silly! It's a delicious mishmash of lava cakes, gummy bears, and a large sub sandwich!" Velvet explained, pointing at the picture on the menu. She didn't notice Coco become a little green. And by a little green, we mean Emerald Forest green.

"Wait! I changed my mind! I don't-" Coco's protests were cut off by the arrival of their waiter.

"Hey there, guys! Are ya as minged as I am for the food," he said.

"You bet, Gavino!" Velvet chuckled.

"Top! What'll ya have?"

"I'll have the usual. Yats here wants the Monty's Special, Fox wants the Pasta Gustavo-Sorola, and-"

"I'll take the Rooster Teeth Extreme," Coco interjected. "That… doesn't actually have teeth in it, right?"

Gavin shook his head. "Of course not! We are a respectable establ- est- wot." His mind shut down as he tripped over his own words. Velvet lightly slapped his arm, knocking him out of his trance.

"...Anyway, get them some drinks too, okay?" added Velvet.

"Oh, course! Water okay for everyone," Gavin said, embarrassed. The team nodded. He did a silly little bow and left quickly.

Team CFVY turned their attention back to each other. They still had a little bit to wait for their orders, after all.

"So," Velvet asked, "'Sup with you guys? Do anything cool while I was gone today?"

"Not really..." Fox muttered as he leaned forward onto the table.

"Coco was talking about giving Fox eyeliner," Yatus replied honestly.

Coco immediately sprang to her own defence. "First of all, it's called guyliner. Secondly, I think that it would really compliment his face well. I mean, those eyes were just MADE for some touch-ups!"

Velvet thought for a moment. "To be honest," she said, "I could see you pulling it off, Fox. But it doesn't scream 'you' and it's ultimately your decision, right?"

Coco threw her hands up and looked at the ceiling in frustration. "WHY MUST YOU FORSAKE ME?!" She then buried her head under her arms.

"See? She gets it!" Fox interjected, feeling a little relieved that it wasn't just Yatsu on his side.

"Don't worry, Coco," Velvet said soothingly, rubbing her friend's back. "I'm sure that it looked good in your head."

"Yeah..." muttered Coco.

The table grew quiet as the odd (and kind of awkward) scene played out. There was something kind of off putting about Velvet being the one to comfort Coco, when it usually was the other way around. If Fox and Yatsu didn't know better, they could have sworn they had fallen into some kind of alternate universe. And it got even weirder when Velvet started to make weird cooing noises in Coco's ear. Overall, this was pretty damn freaky to witness.

Fox took the easy route and tried to ignore what he was hearing. Yatsu, who could actually see what was happening, tried to look away at something else. He looked down to his placemat, to see if there was anything interesting on there. Nope. Someone had drawn a bunch of anatomically correct penises. They had the hair and veins and everything. One of them even had a smiley face. "Eew…" Yatsu said quietly to himself.

All they could hope for was for their food to come soon.

THIRTY SEVEN MINUTES AND FORTY THREE SECONDS LATER...

Thankfully, their food orders had finally arrived. It was about time too. Velvet had started to stroke Coco's hair, and nobody really wanted to be the one to tell her to stop.

"I'm back," Gavin exclaimed. Indeed, he was. He laid out the plates of food for everyone. "So… Uh… Vel, I talked to Burnie about the damaged table, it might have to be put in as part of the bill."

"Oh," Velvet thought for a moment. "Okay. I'll take care of it. Thanks for the heads up!"

"Anyway... here ya go... here ya go... here ya go..." Gavin muttered as he placed the orders in front of their intended consumers.

Velvet's grin widened in a mixture of hunger and satisfaction. "Thanks, Gav!"

Gavin did his little bow thing again. "Of course! Call me or Ray back if you need anything!"

"YO!" came a voice from the other side of the restaurant. "Vav! We need more breadsticks!"

"OI, I'M COMIN, X-RAY,'" Gavin yelled back. "Enjoy your meals you guys!" He left in a hurry.

Velvet happily nodded and immediately sank her teeth into the pork ribs. Even though her mouth was full, the rest of her friends could hear the cheerful hum coming from the back of her throat.

Then, just like a scene from a nature documentary, Velvet began to tear apart the meat viscously. It was weird, normally that happened to a rabbit, not caused by one. Even Fox, who could see as well as a rock could, was disturbed at what he was hearing.

The rest of Team CFVY tried their best to ignore the brutal eating of Velvet and focus on their own orders. Fox poked at his pasta and shoved a bit into his mouth. Wait, this wasn't alfredo! Then again, it did leave a good burning sensation as he swallowed. He could probably stomach this food.

Yatsu was completely at a loss at how to eat the Monty Special. He had a bowl of miso soup, and he knew what to do with that. But how was he expected to eat the slice of pizza at the same time? It would just make a big mess if he tried to grab it out of the bowl and eat it. And Yatsu wasn't going to use a fork to eat soup. That was completely absurd. This food was one of the largest conundrums he had ever experienced. He just couldn't stop staring at the food, trying to figure out a way how to tackle this dilemma.

Coco eyed her meal suspiciously. It looked like pulled chicken covered in spinach and spaghetti. There couldn't actually be teeth in here, could there? She gingerly picked up her fork and put a bit in her mouth. She jerked back in surprise. That was good! How? It looked like something out of a horror movie. Whatever, that didn't matter right now. She just needed to eat more of this! So Coco began to shovel and shovel forkfuls of her order into her mouth.

Velvet continued to tear into the ribs at an alarming pace. As the team of young Hunters and Huntresses in training ate, a lone figure stared at them from across the room. Soon, it thought. Soon she will be mine. Chuckling quietly to itself, it got up and left the restaurant.

Blissfully unaware of the dark, malevolent force sitting just a few tables down, Velvet gulped down the last of the meat clinging to her plate of ribs. Coco was still shoveling the chicken into her mouth and Fox was starting to get a little tipsy from the alcohol in the pasta sauce. Yatsu still hadn't figured out a way to eat his meal and was attempting to use the now soggy pizza like a spoon. It wasn't working.

"How do I..." Yatsu muttered to himself as he tried to pick up the pizza without having the cheese fall off. He completely failed at that part, as the entire topping fell straight into the bowl of miso. "Great..."

"Heeey guysh..." Fox slurred, facing roughly towards his friends. "Ya khhhnow wha we shud dooo~..." Even though it was impossible to tell what his eyes were looking at, it was pretty easy to tell they were unfocused.

"What, Fox?" Velvet asked, completely ignoring the fact that Fox was getting completely hammered on pasta.

"We shud... STREAKKK!" he declared, throwing his arms wide open, as if he made some grand comment.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," dismissed Coco. She was too focused on her food to really notice or care that Fox was getting shitfaced.

"That's not a good idea," flatly stated Yatsu. But, being the mostly quiet giant that he was, nobody heard his soft voice.

"Hell, I'm down," Velvet agreed, her voice full of confidence. Why knock it if you hadn't tried it? "We should probably wait until there are a bit less people around so we don't get arrested, though."

Fox drunkenly nodded, and then went back to eating his booze filled pasta. Even though he didn't know it now, he was going to get one hell of a hangover tomorrow morning.

Velvet turned to look at Coco. "Coocooo~" she said. Coco shifted her eyes to look at Velvet as she continued to eat.

"Wha,'" Coco murmured through globs of chicken.

"You look so kawaii with the jacket and the skirt! You look like a character in one of my animes! Uh… Chie-neko-chan! That's it!"

"...Never heard of it," Coco simply stated, before shoveling more chicken into her gob.

"Oh, it's the best!" gushed Velvet. "It's even better than Strawberry Panic Ultimate Lollipop Armageddon X!"

"Mmm..." was Coco's non-committal grunt. She didn't really want to hear about one of Velvet's anime. For some reason, whenever she talked about them, it always ended up with her talking about why her ships were the best, and how the others didn't make sense. And then the video evidence would be brought in, which was usually the point where Coco had to make her escape. Velvet also kept mentioning some kind of root vegetable when referring to theories. Coco never understood that bit at all.

By now, nearly everyone had demolished their meals (except Yatsu. It looked like he was facing down a basilisk the way he was staring at his food). Velvet had nothing left of her ribs but a pile of bones on her plate, and a generous helping of barbecue sauce smeared around her mouth. Fox, on the other hand, was absolutely sloshed. If it wasn't for the fact that he was sandwiched between his friends, he would most certainly be slumped over. And Coco had shoved the last of her meal down her gullet. She gave her stomach a satisfied pat, and leaned back in her seat. For some reason, Coco thought she could use a smoke right about now.

"Everyone good?" sighed Velvet. Man, she felt really good right now. A stomach full of root beer and ribs, surrounded by her friends. She couldn't ask for anything more.

Her friends all groaned in response. Yatsu, because he was feeling pretty frustrated by now. Fox, because he was too hammered to form coherent sentences. And Coco, because her stomach hurt from so much delicious food.

Velvet nodded. "Right! Off to our next great adventure! CLUBBING!"

Now the collective groans were for a very different reason. Velvet was the only one who enjoyed EDM. Nobody else in the group could stand to be in a nightclub for longer than 15 minutes before the music gave them migraines. The fact that Velvet was able to stand it without her heightened senses overloading was an inconceivable notion to them.

"C'mon Vel," Coco said. "I feel bloated, Yatsu is in a bad mood, and I think Fox is about to puke."

Velvet crossed her arms and pouted.

"I wanna go clubbing!" she huffed in protest.

"Ahmm fahckin' dowhn fer- HUUUUGHLLLL" Fox then proceded to projectile vomit everywhere. Gavin came back at the wrong time. He didn't exactly have what you'd call an iron stomach. It was really more like rice paper. He bolted back to the kitchen, his face green.

Velvet took the hint and paid for the whole meal, giving a heavy tip. They all left the restaurant before they were kicked out. Yatsu carried Fox, who had promptly passed out after making a mess. Coco had a hard time walking. Her bloated state didn't allow for fast travel. Velvet led her team back to the airship docks, shivering in the cold. Coco still had her jacket, but she would let her keep that for the rest of the night. Of course, Coco could've worn her school jacket, but she'd completely forgotten about it in the commotion to leave.

Really, the whole incident should have served as a warning for what was to come. There was no way in hell Team CFVY could hold out as long as a drugged up Velvet.

Oh well. They'd just have to endure some more.

BURNINGU! OVERHEATO! MAI RASEMUMU OVADURIVEU! IKARI NO CHIKARA! RASENGAN! LOUD ANIME SPEECH!

That's the end of Chapter One! We really hope you enjoyed reading!

The song Velvet was dancing to is called "Rabbit Whore" by Savant. Give it a listen!

Have a fantastic day, ya fucking jabronis! Jaw bronies? Jew brownies? Wait...

Just go with it, okay? Now stop bothering us, we've got important things *cough*tormentingtheelderly*cough* to do.

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