Author's note: I'm not too passionate about this story-let's just say it's not my life work or my chosen calling-but I want to put myself out there and write something entertaining. Enjoy!
Two Years after Endor, Coruscant
Leia Organa wiped the tears from her eyes as she surveyed the city below her. The covered terrace jutted out over it, and the transports whizzing by shook it just noticeably. It was perfectly safe, but the natural instinct to stay out of danger was still telling her to go back inside. But Leia didn't. She needed to stay here. The danger made her feel alive.
She drew a shuddering breath. She had just been in her room, sobbing on Luke's shoulder as he did his naïve best to comfort her. But how could he possibly understand? He was a man, or a boy more accurately; he could never understand the fear she was feeling. At last, she had asked him to call Han and tell him to meet her on the terrace in the south hall, and she left.
How could this be happening? She wasn't ready for this! She was twenty-three, too young. The New Republic was too young. Her relationship with Han was too young.
And yet, somehow, the thought didn't seem so bad. She wasn't scared. She knew that she would be taken care of.
She heard Han's footfalls, felt his strong hands on her shoulders, and the gentile touch of his lips on her neck.
"Don't." She pulled away. She didn't want him to touch her, not now. That's how she had gotten into this mess in the first place. "Just don't. We need to talk."
Han frowned. He touched her cheek, right below her eye. "You crying? What's wrong?"
Leia sighed. "I-I don't know how to explain this to you. How to tell you..."
Han didn't say anything. He had no idea what was going on. How could he be so dense? Leia wondered. So uncaring? So...self-centered?
"I...I missed my period."
Leia let Han process that before she continued.
"I was just with Luke, and we were meditating...we were in each other's minds and...he pulled back all of a sudden. He says he can feel another presence in my body. I...I'm pregnant."
Han's shock was visible. "What? You're...but how can you be sure? The kid doesn't know everything."
"I know, but he said he thought that's what it was, and it feels right. I know it's true."
Han looked down and away, leaned on the terrace railing for support. He thought about it, rolled it over and over in his mind, considering it. "Are you okay?" He finally asked.
Leia nodded.
Han thought some more, and then reached for Leia's hand. "Do you want it?"
Leia's heart ached. She didn't know what to say.
"Yes, I think so," she finally managed.
Han squeezed her hand, a small smile on his face. "Well, then..."
"Han," Leia cut him off, unable to hear him rejoice the coming of the child that she would not let him claim, "Han, I don't know how to say this..."
The smile left his face. Now he looked like a frightened child. He knew what was coming. "Leia...I love you. I've told you that over and over again and I don't know how I'm gonna get you to believe me!"
"No, Han. I believe you. That's why this is so hard."
Han, still determined to prove his love, leaned forward, trying to kiss Leia. She pulled away from his lips, but he insisted on keeping his face near hers. "What do you want me to say?" He was all softness with her at times like this. Leia loved how quiet his voice could be, how gentile his touches, and how yielding his manor. She loved him. But she couldn't say it out loud.
It was how he was at other times, how forceful, how childish, how reckless and selfish.
"You're not ready to be a father, Han. I'm sorry."
Han sighed quietly. "What do we do then?"
Leia hesitated. "We don't do anything. I go about my work, you go about yours. I have the baby when its time."
"But-"
"You're not ready."
It hurt Leia physically to look into Han's dark hazel eyes and see all of that pain. But she would not stand down.
"You want me out of the picture?" He drew away a little, finally understanding.
Leia nodded, no longer meeting his eyes.
s
Han still held her hand in his. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, saying nothing. He had expected Leia to yell at him and him to yell back if it ever came to this, if they ever broke up. But he didn't have the strength. He hurt too much. Besides, she was pregnant.
"If that's what you want." He was angry, hurt, confused...but he wanted Leia to have what she wanted. He held her eyes for a moment, then turned away, letting go her hand. He took two steps back to the hall, and then abruptly turned, pulling Leia into him, kissing her with enough love to last years.
When he pulled back, Leia wanted to kiss him again, but she knew she couldn't. He turned to go, and Leia watched him. She thought that she'd see him around, that he'd play with the baby when he was born, that he'd stay friends with Luke, and that he'd continue as a military leader of the New Republic.
She didn't see him again for nineteen years.
Two Years after Endor, Coruscant
Leia Organa wiped the tears from her eyes as she surveyed the city below her. The covered terrace jutted out over it, and the transports whizzing by shook it just noticeably. It was perfectly safe, but the natural instinct to stay out of danger was still telling her to go back inside. But Leia didn't. She needed to stay here. The danger made her feel alive.
She drew a shuddering breath. She had just been in her room, sobbing on Luke's shoulder as he did his naïve best to comfort her. But how could he possibly understand? He was a man, or a boy more accurately; he could never understand the fear she was feeling. At last, she had asked him to call Han and tell him to meet her on the terrace in the south hall, and she left.
How could this be happening? She wasn't ready for this! She was twenty-three, too young. The New Republic was too young. Her relationship with Han was too young.
And yet, somehow, the thought didn't seem so bad. She wasn't scared. She knew that she would be taken care of.
She heard Han's footfalls, felt his strong hands on her shoulders, and the gentile touch of his lips on her neck.
"Don't." She pulled away. She didn't want him to touch her, not now. That's how she had gotten into this mess in the first place. "Just don't. We need to talk."
Han frowned. He touched her cheek, right below her eye. "You crying? What's wrong?"
Leia sighed. "I-I don't know how to explain this to you. How to tell you..."
Han didn't say anything. He had no idea what was going on. How could he be so dense? Leia wondered. So uncaring? So...self-centered?
"I...I missed my period."
Leia let Han process that before she continued.
"I was just with Luke, and we were meditating...we were in each other's minds and...he pulled back all of a sudden. He says he can feel another presence in my body. I...I'm pregnant."
Han's shock was visible. "What? You're...but how can you be sure? The kid doesn't know everything."
"I know, but he said he thought that's what it was, and it feels right. I know it's true."
Han looked down and away, leaned on the terrace railing for support. He thought about it, rolled it over and over in his mind, considering it. "Are you okay?" He finally asked.
Leia nodded.
Han thought some more, and then reached for Leia's hand. "Do you want it?"
Leia's heart ached. She didn't know what to say.
"Yes, I think so," she finally managed.
Han squeezed her hand, a small smile on his face. "Well, then..."
"Han," Leia cut him off, unable to hear him rejoice the coming of the child that she would not let him claim, "Han, I don't know how to say this..."
The smile left his face. Now he looked like a frightened child. He knew what was coming. "Leia...I love you. I've told you that over and over again and I don't know how I'm gonna get you to believe me!"
"No, Han. I believe you. That's why this is so hard."
Han, still determined to prove his love, leaned forward, trying to kiss Leia. She pulled away from his lips, but he insisted on keeping his face near hers. "What do you want me to say?" He was all softness with her at times like this. Leia loved how quiet his voice could be, how gentile his touches, and how yielding his manor. She loved him. But she couldn't say it out loud.
It was how he was at other times, how forceful, how childish, how reckless and selfish.
"You're not ready to be a father, Han. I'm sorry."
Han sighed quietly. "What do we do then?"
Leia hesitated. "We don't do anything. I go about my work, you go about yours. I have the baby when its time."
"But-"
"You're not ready."
It hurt Leia physically to look into Han's dark hazel eyes and see all of that pain. But she would not stand down.
"You want me out of the picture?" He drew away a little, finally understanding.
Leia nodded, no longer meeting his eyes.
s
Han still held her hand in his. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, saying nothing. He had expected Leia to yell at him and him to yell back if it ever came to this, if they ever broke up. But he didn't have the strength. He hurt too much. Besides, she was pregnant.
"If that's what you want." He was angry, hurt, confused...but he wanted Leia to have what she wanted. He held her eyes for a moment, then turned away, letting go her hand. He took two steps back to the hall, and then abruptly turned, pulling Leia into him, kissing her with enough love to last years.
When he pulled back, Leia wanted to kiss him again, but she knew she couldn't. He turned to go, and Leia watched him. She thought that she'd see him around, that he'd play with the baby when he was born, that he'd stay friends with Luke, and that he'd continue as a military leader of the New Republic.
She didn't see him again for nineteen years.