Isn't Anyone Trying to Find Me?

.

.

.

A/N1:Major AU story!

.

.

A/N2: I do not own Star Wars.

.

.

Prologue:

Jabba the Hutt's palace:

Mara looked up from her perch by the corner as the bounty hunter came in with the Wookiee. She knew it had to be Organa under that mask, for whom else would the lumbering Chewbacca allow to lead him in here all shackled up?

Mara could taste the upcoming moment when… he would arrive. And when he did…

What then, Mara? She asked herself. You are already way in over your head by doubting your master, are you willing to allow one of his worst enemies to get away?

Mara pursed her lips, un-phased by the action around her as the 'bounty hunter' pulled a detonator from a pouch. There was no way the woman would use it: not until she was certain there was no way to get her precious Han Solo back.

Mara paused at that, wondering what it would be like to have someone go into the bowels of hell- which was Mara's opinion of Jabba's palace- because he loved her. Or even just cared for her… and didn't want to use her.

As the excitement from the Wookiee's capture died away to be replaced by the music and dancing, Mara's thoughts wandered.

Her doubts of whether she stood on the right side of the proverbial fence had been seeded in the first Death Star. Who would build a planet-destroyer?

What kind of a maniac would stoop to that level? Mara could handle removing treasonous scumbags when she knew they deserved it. But to commit genocide… and all in the name of making a statement?

And not just eradicate a race, but their entire existence? For what, aside from some natives who'd been lucky enough to be off-planet at the time of its destruction, was truly left of Alderaan? Mara had seen holos of the planet, and it saddened her that such a jewel of nature was gone forever.

If anything, it would have- and did- spur the Rebels into action… something that cost Palpatine billions of credits and years of work. It was also the something that had skyrocketed a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed farmboy to the top of the Empire's most wanted list.

Mara hadn't understood how anyone could be sick enough to take out a planet like Tarkin had.

Mara had begun to wonder just what kind of a man she willingly served. And that was when her self-created blinders had started to come free; and as her master sent her on more missions, Mara had come to see the true nature of the Empire.

Poverty ran rampant, and those who couldn't pay their taxes were severely punished. Treason was a word used far too often, and Mara knew the elite of the Empire had used backstabbing and cut-throat methods to gain favor in the Emperor's eyes.

And had she been so different, really? Though it was true she'd not been given a choice as to whether or not she served him, Mara had truly believed that she was serving justice. After all, she had only been a child when Palpatine had taken her from… wherever it is she hailed from. When someone grows up in a certain way, and it's all they've known, it's hard to top that.

And so, fed up with the corruption that was encouraged by the man she called master, Mara had started to chafe under his all-controlling presence. She was not so foolish as to out-right refuse his orders. She had, however, learned well how to conceal her actual thoughts behind half-truths so he would not suspect her split loyalties and find it necessary to 'correct' her.

So now she sat in Jabba's palace… and she knew that this mission would change everything for her. This, the Force screamed at her, would be her final hour to decide for herself… her once chance to fight the Emperor without his knowing.

Or at least, she hoped to be able to keep her mutiny to herself.

If she took that path.

Mara had the feeling it would all depend on Luke Skywalker himself… and what he was actually like. Oh sure, she had read all the reports on him; she knew his homeplanet, his education level, and even that he had a prosthetic right hand. But no report- especially those written by biased Imperial men- could tell you the true nature of the person they were about.

So what'll it be, Mara? She wondered again. Do you take your first step away from the shelter of the Empire? There is security in living a life among the shadows: especially Palpatine's very large shadow.

Mara sighed, resigning herself to wait until the man of the hour arrived to make her decision.

00000

Mara was looking surreptitiously at Leia Organa, who'd been stupid enough to blow her cover by attempting on her own to rescue Han. Now she sat, a slave, at Jabba's side.

Mara shook her head in slight pity. At least he hadn't asked the brunette to dance for him… yet. Though with the way the ugly slug kept eyeing his newest catch, Mara knew there were far worse fates out there.

The entire throne room- Mara snorted at that, because this was a poor excuse for such a room- was asleep except for Jabba's majordomo. Mara wasn't tired, having napped off and on during the day when she wasn't asked to dance.

At first she missed it, since she was so focused on the sleeping Leia, but when the presence tickled her mind again, she snapped to full-alert mode.

And promptly smothered a gasp.

This presence was unlike anything she'd ever before encountered. She knew the Dark Side of the Force well, and she recognized the frigid and unwelcoming sense that a Sith gave off. She was so used to their putrid Force essence- something that clearly unsettled others, and she'd even seen some be sick- that it didn't bother her.

In fact, it was simply a part of her life; and when one lives in the cold one develops a thicker skin as a result.

But this…

This presence was so… warm, and so bright, that at first look it burned her. She hissed through her teeth, shielding herself from his radiance. To her chagrin, that act caught his attention, and Mara felt Luke cautiously reach out for the other Force-user.

Mara remained absolutely still. But as his presence shifted, she found herself drawn more and more to his vitality. She'd never been this close to a Jedi… hell; she'd never met a Jedi until today.

Was this what they all felt like? Or was this just Luke Skywalker?

All she knew was what the Emperor had told her, which she now knew was based off his hatred of Jedi. But she hadn't had the… chance to witness first hand a Jedi's presence.

It was such a stark contrast to the presences of Vader and the Emperor that Mara couldn't help but feel a great loss when Luke at last retracted his searching probe. She ached to reach back, to feel his warm spirit, which she admitted was strangely comforting to her.

And… Mara realized something about Luke called to her. His presence created a reaction in her she'd never know could exist. It was an alien and frightening thing, but Mara surprised herself by not shunning it like she would have any other time.

Mara tracked his presence as it drew nearer, her mental eyes adjusting to his luminescence. Mara couldn't help but feel slightly like an insect attracted to a bug-light; so unable was she to look away.

She allowed herself to bask in his warmth, again to her surprise, and Mara wondered where the Emperor's Hand had gone.

Snap out of it Jade! She reprimanded herself. You are here to do a…

And then the man came into view, trailing a muttering Twilek, who she felt was being mind-tricked. Mara's breath caught in her throat when, as he moved to stand before Jabba's 'throne', his gaze happened upon hers.

And in that heartbeat, Mara felt something zing across the space between them. His eyes widened a touch as he recognized her presence from earlier, but Mara quickly looked down, breaking the moment.

She could feel his gaze linger on her until Jabba roused grumpily. Mara listened to Luke's soft, yet commanding voice as he incredibly gave the vile gangster a choice. Why not just kill the stupid Hutt and be done with it?

Force knew the galaxy would be a better place without his scum slicking the floor. As if he'd picked up her stray thought, the Jedi's ice-blue gaze flickered to her's and she felt again his curiosity at her.

Even though she was in disguise, Mara felt that he somehow could see through her. Mara blew out a breath of relief as he removed his clear eyes from hers.

While he was again conversing with Jabba, another stray though came to Mara, one she was careful to hide. What would it feel like to have those arms wrapped around her?

She jerked at that thought, nearly missing the squeals of the Gamorrean guard that fell into the rancor pit with Skywalker. Where in all blazes had that fantasy come from?

Mara shook her head, thinning her lips. She didn't know that, but she did know that anyone with such a welcoming presence in the Force could only be a good person. And who knew, maybe this Jedi was perhaps a way of ridding the galaxy of its tyrannical ruler.

Mara felt the shift within herself and she knew then, without a doubt, that she would not kill Luke Skywalker.

Not now, or ever.

Looking down into the pit, Mara willed the Jedi to survive.