Love and Duty

Cullen practically ran from the group of Orlesian noblewomen who were now tittering to each other behind him. He finally had an excuse to extricate himself from their company when he saw Josephine gesturing at him frantically across the hall. They didn't seem entirely pleased when he excused himself to see what the ambassador wanted, but he couldn't care less really. He'd been trapped in their company for the better part of an hour with no rescue in sight until Josephine caught his attention. Their accents were so cloying and thick he could barely understand what they were saying to begin with, but he was certain most of it involved thinly veiled sexual innuendo.

He crossed Skyhold's main hall in a few hurried strides passing other random lords and ladies none of whom he knew or cared to know, but he assumed were important if Josephine felt the need to invite them to the celebration. When he reached her, the ambassador gave him a stern look and demanded, "Where is she, Commander?"

Evelyn. Much to his disappointment he hadn't seen her all evening. If she had been present he might have been able to avoid those horrible women and their disturbing infatuation with him. He smiled to himself, hoping Josephine wouldn't see it in the dim light. Ever since Leliana had joked over the 'inquiries' about him after the ball at the winter palace, his lover had become decidedly jealous of anyone whose gaze lingered on him for too long. Much as she tried, she wasn't very adept at hiding her feelings for him from others. He told himself he should encourage her to be more discreet, but if he was honest he enjoyed her bold possessiveness. In fact, he wished he had half her confidence about it, because if he did what he truly wanted he would be shouting his claim on her from the ramparts daily with the sunrise.

"I haven't seen her." Cullen replied, unsure if he was happy or envious that his little rogue managed to slip away from the very important dignitaries waiting to offer thanks for saving their collective hides from a future filled with demons and darkspawn.

"Well, you'd better find her! There is practically a queue of nobles forming, all wanting a chance to offer their congratulations to the Inquisitor. And she promised me she would make herself available! We still have many things we need to accomplish and cannot afford to slight anyone who might prove useful to us." Josephine's eyes darted from side to side trying to search out Evelyn like she was prey. And perhaps, in this instance, that wasn't far from the truth.

"I'll start looking immediately."

"Please do." The ambassador huffed and turned away, walking towards a group of said nobles who he assumed she was going to try to placate until Evelyn was found.

Cullen didn't even bother to search the hall. He had already noticed earlier that Varric was missing, and there was nothing to be seen of Bull, Sara or Blackwall either. He did pass Dorian on his way out, who gave him a desperate look as if he himself hoped to be rescued from whatever painfully boring conversation he was locked in with some foppish looking lord. Cullen just smirked at him and kept walking. Dorian scowled back.

When he was outside he paused for a moment. He was happy to breath in the cold night air; happy to see the clear sky full of stars instead of a torn Veil threatening the future. His future. That he had one now was still a strange new concept for him. Before this...no, before Evelyn, his future went no further than keeping his charges alive and safe one more day. First, there were the mages in his care and then the innocents threatened by the mages. Then, before he knew it, he was protecting innocents from his fellow templars. And then with the Inquisition there were his soldiers, their agents, all those helping them and all those they were trying to help in all of southern Thedas. There were too many to protect and no time to think of or hope for a future for himself. Until he met Evelyn. When they were together he could almost think of nothing else but a future with her.

He hurried down the stairs and across the courtyard to the tavern. Even from outside he could hear the loud and joyous revelry coming from within. It warmed him more than the stuffy formality he had just left. Scattered about were other smaller groups of people, mostly commoners and soldiers, celebrating around fires with drinks and laughter. Some saluted him as he passed and he acknowledged them with a reserved nod.

He was just about to enter the tavern, when the door opened before him and Varric emerged. Cullen stepped back, allowing the dwarf to step out. Before the door shut behind him he thought he heard a fragment of singing and a blur of dancing. He reached for the door again, but Varric stopped him.

"I'm not so sure you want to go in there right now, Curly."

"I'm looking for Evelyn." He hadn't bothered to refer to her as 'Inquisitor' around Varric ever since he'd stumbled upon a copy of the very graphic serialized romance story about a couple that bore suspicious resemblance to him and Evelyn, penned by an author whose style suspiciously resembled Varric's. "Her presence is requested in the main hall. She has guests who desire to offer congratulations. And Josephine can't hold them off for very much longer. Is she inside?"

"Oh, she's inside alright. But I'm not so sure you want her presence 'present', so to speak, at the moment."

Cullen looked down at the dwarf, then looked up at the door. He wasn't quite sure if he should be amused or worried about that statement. He didn't have much of a choice either way, so he brushed passed Varric and opened the door. A low chuckle and a 'good luck Curly' were the only encouragement offered him as he stepped inside.

The room was packed with Skyhold's inhabitants and smelled of hearth smoke and ale. And there was indeed singing. Dancing also, he noted. It was to be expected on such a night and he would begrudge none of his people a well earned drink and an opportunity to celebrate their victory. That is until he saw her.

It wasn't hard to find her. In fact, it was difficult to miss her from where she stood, singing and dancing on top of a table with a bottle of spirits in one hand and...was that Cole's hat?...in the other. Her pale skin was flushed, her dark hair loose around her shoulders and her green eyes were squinted with laughter. Cullen couldn't recall ever having seen her indulge in a single drink before and yet here she was, obviously three sheets to the wind.

Cullen marched forward uncertain what his plan was going to be after he pulled her down off the table. Those in the crowd still sober enough to notice him parted immediately to let him pass. He pushed his way through the others.

She saw him just as he reached her. She dropped the hat and let the bottle of spirits clatter down to the floor, the pale liquid splattering a bit on them both as it fell. Her eyes lit up at the sight of him and a wide smile spread elegantly across her face despite her utterly inelegant situation.

In all the time he had known her, she had never been anything less than dignified while fulfilling her role as Inquisitor. She was a true noble as every noble should aspire to be in every sense of the word. But he also had the benefit of knowing her in private, unguarded moments with mussed hair and flushed face and that same wide unashamed smile that she now wore. He wasn't sure he liked sharing this Evelyn, his Evelyn, with others.

"Cullen!" She cried out happily as she beamed at him. "I just sent Varric to try and rescue you! I'm so glad you're here..."

She reached down, trying to lean her hands on his shoulders, but she stumbled and fell forward into his arms. Cullen caught her and lowered her slowly to the floor. Rather than bear her own weight, she clung to him instead, drawing him closer. She brought her face up under his jaw and nuzzled against his stubble with her nose. He had to hold in a shiver and resist leaning into her touch.

She giggled softly into his ear. "Thank you Commander." She said sweetly, if a little slurred.

Hoots and catcalls were shouted out from behind them. Cullen turned his head and shot a withering glare back at the crowd. He looked down at Evelyn and reluctantly pushed her away. "Josephine needs you back in the main hall. There are guests who wish to meet with you." His tone turned sarcastic. "Is there any way you're still sober enough to handle that or do I need to find a way to smuggle you to your quarters so you can sleep this off?"

Evelyn raised one eyebrow suggestively. "Are you really giving me a choice Commander? Because I choose my quarters, although you can't possibly expect me to want to sleep if you're there..."

Cullen grunted in frustration laced with not a small amount of embarrassment at the laughter coming from those closeby who had overheard her. He grabbed Evelyn by the arm and escorted her outside as quickly as possible. She giggled behind him but she followed obediently. Once they were under the stars again, he pulled her into a shadow and turned her to face him. The light of the moons fell softly across the smile she still wore. They were somewhat alone so he decided to steal a quick moment for himself before he surrendered her to Josephine.

"I've never seen you like this before." He whispered as he drew closer to her. He kissed her lightly. He tasted the brandy on her lips where he barely brushed them. It was heady and unexpectedly arousing. "I can't decide if I should scold you or drag you up to my bed, Josephine be damned."

She reached up to circle her arms behind his neck and pull herself up to meet his mouth with her own. She kissed him deeply and without reservation. She moaned a little and pressed her body against his. For the life of him, he suddenly couldnt think of one good reason to take her back to the main hall.

"Can't you do both?" She asked him breathlessly. "I certainly deserve to be scolded..." She kissed him again, playfully this time, stopping abruptly when she she felt him lean into her seeking more. "I'd rather it be by you than Josephine." Another kiss, this time against his neck as she started pulling at the buckles of his breastplate. "You don't have to drag me up to your bed to do it, but I don't think you're drunk enough to chance someone seeing us. And, anyway, I'm just drunk enough to want you to drag me." She brazenly moved her hands down to curl her wicked little fingers around his belt. Her skin was warm against his where they touched his stomach.

Cullen let out a slow breath that puffed out of his mouth, visible in the cold night air. "You are a vicious little temptress," he said as he grabbed her hands and pulled them up to his lips. "Will you force me to resist you? Have you no mercy?"

Evelyn just smiled and sighed. She pulled her hands from his and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against the furs on his shoulder. "Must we resist, love?" Her voice had changed. It was clearer and more serious; more like she possibly wasn't as inebriated as he originally thought. "When have we ever put ourselves before our duty?" She lifted her head and looked up into his eyes. "How many nights have we spent without one another? How many of those nights found you in the Chantry praying for my safe return? I'm sure it was just as many as I spent thinking of your safety; wondering if you were in pain, worrying if you were waking up with a nightmare instead of with me. Not tonight Cullen. Tonight of all nights, you come first, duty be damned."

Pushing herself up on her toes, she kissed him. It was deep and long and hungry. And he was undone. An exasperated grunt was the only sound he could manage to make with her mouth devouring his. In one motion he swept her up off her toes and into his arms. She held onto the edges of his armor as she bounced inside his embrace while he took the stairs two at a time climbing towards his tower. Even in the darkness he could tell she was wearing a silent smile of victory. He didn't care.

They passed Cole sitting on the wall, legs dangling as he watched the people below. Cullen paused for a moment when the boy turned to see them running away from the party.

"You're better like this. She thinks so too." Cullen assumed Cole was speaking to him, but he was never actually sure. Nor did he ever really understand. Cole continued. "Surrender can be good...sometimes. I won't tell."

Cullen understood that at least. Evelyn laughed and whispered back at Cole. "Thank you!" She said as Cullen moved on.

They passed a single sentry on watch, looking out into the Frostbacks. When they approached he was startled and looked like he wanted to say something. Cullen just narrowed his eyes and flicked his head out towards the mountains indicating the man should just turn right back around and forget what he saw. The soldier couldn't turn around fast enough.

When they finally reached the side door to his office, he kicked it in, anticipation growing in his gut, and perhaps a bit lower as well. He hoped the noise of the heavy wood banging against the stone wall was concealed by the sounds of celebration below. Evelyn giggled again and jumped out of his arms. She tried to break away in a run for the ladder that led to his bed, but he caught her arm and pulled her back towards him. He slammed the door shut with his other hand and then crushed her against it, inflicting his own hungry kiss.

She melted into him with a moan that made her whole body vibrate against his. He was barely able to growl out his next words. "Upstairs. Now."

She nearly shoved him aside to clamor up the ladder. He let his lips curl into a satisfied smile. He threw off his coat and gauntlets not caring where they landed. He hurried up after her and when he reached the top she flew at him, her deft little hands making quick work of the fastenings on the rest of his armor. As soon as the last pieces fell to the floor, his hands joined hers and then both of them were tearing at the clothes that separated them.

When there was nothing left but moonlight on their bare skin, Evelyn paused, her hands dropping to her sides as she looked up at him shyly. He loved that look. It was only for him. He had been her first and her only and every time he thought of that he swelled with pride. She was only his and he said a silent 'thank you' to the Maker for such a glorious gift each time he was with her since the first time. She was only his.

That thought consumed him as it always did when she stood before him like this, offering her whole self to him. Surrender can be good sometimes. So he let himself surrender to something feral deep within. He loomed over her and she bit her bottom lip trying to conceal an eager smile as she waited for him to pounce, obviously seeing the need in his eyes.

Cullen pushed her back against the bed slowly, savoring each caress, each point of contact between them as he covered her body with his, pressing her against the cool sheets. She closed her eyes and hummed in contentment as he ran his hands down her body. Her head fell back and she arched up towards him. He wanted to wait. He wanted to savor her. But she was too warm, too soft, too ardent under his touch. He pulled her legs up roughly and wrapped them around his waist. She gasped and lifted her hips up to meet his. His mind went blank and the world outside of their embrace faded away. His body moved of its own accord and he only vaguely registered the noise of the wind blowing outside and the bed creaking beneath them. In contrast, Evelyn's panting breaths and languid moans filled his ears and he heard every nuance of every sound that escaped her lips.

He was well past control, duty forgotten, he felt his body move faster, as if he wasn't the one controlling it. She whined out his name over and over again, so sweetly, so deliciously he desperately wanted to draw more from her. He felt sweat start to trickle down the back of his neck and Evelyn's skin was slick and glistening with it. He grunted with effort as every nerve inside him tightened and tensed. Suddenly Evelyn cried out, long and low and seductive, her whole body opening up to his as she crested. He opened his eyes wide to see her muscles ripple and her chest heave with breath. She was beautiful. She was his and when he released inside of her bliss consumed him and her name fell from his tongue like a prayer.

Whether time stood still or continued to move forward, he couldn't say and didn't care. He thought he might have drifted off to sleep for a moment but was brought back to the waking world at the sound of Evelyn's laughter. It was lovely and he smiled as he pushed himself off of her to look down at her face.

"See? Sometimes love can come before duty, Commander and everything is still fine."

"Better than fine." He murmured against her neck where he lowered his head to breath in the smell of her skin.

"Should we go back?" She asked but he noted she seemed hesitant to hear his answer. She needn't be.

"No. The only duty I choose to recognize right now is making you cry out my name again." He bit down on her shoulder wanting to taste her as he squeezed her tightly in his arms.

She responded with a contented 'mmmm' sound that started to stir his need for her again...until the pounding on the door below interrupted the execution of his duty.

"Cullen!" A muffled, but clearly angry shout traveled up to them. It was Josephine. "I know you're both in there!"

Evelyn pushed him away and he growled in frustration. He wished she wouldn't speak and ruin the moment further, but she did. "Love, the duty you don't want to recognize is knocking at the door."

"You started this, woman." He reluctantly rose from the bed to dress. "We'll deal with our duties down there now, but I swear I'm going to finish with you later."

"So, it's love before and after duty then?"

He took her in his arms again and stole one last tender kiss. "Yes, from now on, it is."

xxxx

A/N: I'm just trying to get a feel for writing in Cullen's voice. I'm eyeballs deep in Cullen-love right now. I hope he seemed in-character! Thank you for reading!