Title: Gone Too Far
Summary: After Toby walks away from her, instead of going home, Spencer follows a dark hooded figure into an alley, wanting to end the whole thing. But when A takes it too far, harms Spencer in disgusting ways, will the end be in sight? Will her friends, will Toby be able to help hold her together? Spobycentric story. May contain content triggering for some, read at own risk.

Author's note: Sorry the wait was a little longer. I've started classes again, but this chapter is longer so that hopefully makes up for it! Please please please review, and let me know what you think! To those asking, Spencer's parents will indeed be involved :) Enjoy!

-Jen

Chapter Three

Toby isn't sure how many minutes pass, but he doesn't care. He would stand there for days just holding her, if it would make her feel better. He stands there, his arms wrapped around her, not saying anything for a while.

"A-Aria's here too," Toby finally says. Aria steps forward tentatively, moving to the other side of the table.

"Hey, Spence," She says softly. "I'm here, and Hanna and Emily, they're right outside with Caleb and Ezra. Tanner...Tanner said only one of us should come in." When Spencer doesn't say anything, Aria pauses a moment, before going on. "I um, I called your mom. She didn't pick up, but I left a message. Is...is there anything else that I can do?" She asks softly.

Spencer is quiet for a few moments, Toby is sure she's not going to answer. But then she turns her head so the side is resting against him, so she can talk though she doesn't look at her. "C-could you ask Hanna or Emily to go to my house?" She whispers. "Clothes."

Aria nods, "Of course. Anything in particular? Pajamas?"

"Toby's shirt," She mutters. "With the sleeves."

She was in a hospital gown, and she felt so exposed. She wanted her clothes, her bed, her house. "Home. I wanna go home, and shower," She says, a new wave of tears coming, and she turns against him again as Aria slips out of the room, the door shutting behind her.

He so desperately wanted to give her what she wants. To let her shower, to bring her home, to hold her and never let go. But he knows that if they have any hope of getting who did this, she needs to have the exam done. That if she showers, evidence will be washed away. He knows that not only as a cop, but as her boyfriend, he wants her to do it because he wants this bastard to pay. Hating himself, he leans back so he can look at her. He gently rests his hands against her face, looking in her eyes. "I know. And I want to take you there, and I will. But Spence, I...I have to ask you to please, please do the exam," He says, and she starts shaking her head in his hand. She knew that she should, she watched Law and Order SVU, and she wasn't stupid. She knew that it was to collect evidence, but the thought of being touched there by anyone, let alone a stranger...it made her want to be sick.

"I know you feel violated, and I know you feel exposed," He says, his thumbs wiping away the tears. "And I don't want you to feel anymore pain, that's the last thing I want," Toby tells her. "But if you don't, all the evidence, it'll go away, and we won't have it, so we won't be able to make him pay."

She's silent for a moment, looking at him. "Do you want me to do it as a cop, or as my Toby?" Spencer says, her voice still in a whisper. She had meant to say boyfriend, but it had just come out like that, and it fit.

"Both," Toby says back softly. "Your Toby wants you to do what's best for you. And it's not my place, to decide what that is. But this...this gives a chance of making whoever hurt you pay. I know it's asking you to be exposed again, and I know it's asking you to share what happened when you probably just want to forget," Toby tells her. "But I want you to feel safe, and I want you to feel like some justice is found," He says. "And this will make that more likely."

Spencer looks back at him for a moment, feeling positively defeated. Could she do that for him? Could she do it for herself? She hadn't thought it possible, feeling more unsafe, more vulnerable than with A. But gosh, she'd been so, so incredibly wrong. This was a whole new level of A, and she didn't know if she had it in her to fight after this. And what good would it do, really? They fought and sleuthed and tried to figure it out, but nothing ever worked.

"It won't do any good," She finally whispers. "A never pays for anything. The, the police, they never help us," Spencer shakes her head, tears rolling down her face again, as she averts her eyes downwards. "They never help me."

Toby's chest tightens, his throat going dry. "A?" He whispers. "Who was it? Did you see their face? What, what did they sound like?" Toby asks, the questions coming to him and firing out rapidly. He's about to go on but then he sees her tears have picked up again and she's shaking her head. "I'm sorry," He says quickly, rubbing her back, pulling her in against his chest again, enabling her to bury her face against him. "I'm so sorry, baby, I just...I want to get whoever did this to you," Toby sighs, shutting his eyes as he holds her. "I want to help you I want to make him, and Alison...all of them pay."

As she cries, Spencer's thoughts are on overdrive. She can remember what happened in spurts, it comes back and she pieces it together. Unsure of whether or not it's the head injury or her mind trying to protect herself, she wishes that she could just forget. But she knows that's not possible. Spencer knows that she could try to stuff the memories into a box, a tiny box, file it away in her brain and never think about it again. But it wouldn't work, especially not when her now worst nightmare was also the hooded figure that she dealt with all the time. A wasn't just going to go away now, it wasn't over. It all makes her feel sick, her stomach churning, and she pulls away from Toby as she has a fleeting thought. What if they tried going after Aria or Hanna or Emily next?

She tries to tell him to get out of the way, but when she tries to speak, she vomits instead. All over Toby. His shirt, his pants, even his shoes, everything she ate last night appearing. Spencer tries to apologize as tears run down her face, but he shushes her, grabbing a sheet to hastily wipe himself off, and moving to gently move her hair back, grabbing a bucket and sliding it under her chin. He rubs her back as she starts to dry heave, nothing left in her stomach to come up, and at that point the doctor comes back.

"Oh dear," Dr. Ross says, calling for a nurse and hurrying in. The nurse takes the basin, handing Spencer a clean one to hold, though nothing's coming up anymore, the occasional dry heave punctuating her tears.

"Hayley, can you please get the officer some scrubs to change into? The ones they give the fathers in the OR," The doctor says, the nurse nodding and hurrying out. "We're going to move you to a new room, Miss Hastings," She then says. "A real room, it'll be more comfortable, ok?"

Spencer doesn't answer her though, looking back at Toby. "I'll do it," She whispers. "I...I'll have the exam. But I want it now, I want it over with," Spencer says, tears silently falling down her cheeks. "And I-I want you to stay with me."

"The whole time," Toby says. "I'm not going to go anywhere, Spencer, I promise. Not anymore," He tells her, feeling small relief that she had said she'd do it. The nurse comes back, handing him the scrubs, and pointing him into the bathroom. "I'm going to change. I'll be quick," He promises her softly. "Don't move her until I'm done," Toby then says to the doctor, using what Spencer had once called his "cop voice." She had said it commanded authority, that it was sexy. That seemed so long ago, now. He slips into the bathroom only once Spencer nods that it's ok, and he removes his gun and everything in record time, changing out of his uniform and into the scrubs. The nurse had also given him a big plastic bag, the kind they give patients for their personal items, and Toby puts his uniform inside of it, before putting his badge in his pocket, attaching the gun holster to his waistband, knowing he couldn't leave that unattended. It took all of two minutes.

In Toby's absence, the nurse brings in a wheelchair, and a clean gown for Spencer to change into, but she shakes her head when the woman tries to help her. Once she's alone, turned away from the side of the floor with her vomit on it, Spencer slips her arms out of the gown. She'd let the nurse untie it, at least. It hurts, her body aching as she slips the fabric off, letting it fall to the floor, and puts her arms through the sleeves of the clean one. She tries, reaching behind herself to tie it together, but it pulls at the stitches on her right arm, and it hurts, so she gives up. Hearing the bathroom door open, she looks up at Toby. He looks strange, in green scrubs with his gun holstered at his side. It was still so strange, seeing him with a gun. Toby was the most nonviolent person she knew. It didn't add up to her.

"I'll help you," Toby says when he sees the gown is untied. Putting the bag with his uniform on a chair, he comes forward, intending to go behind her and tie the gown together.

"Please don't look." Spencer's words stop him, and she looks embarrassed when he looks at her. It feels silly, not wanting her boyfriend to see her back, of all things. He'd seen much more of her before, they'd had sex. He wasn't a stranger; he was her once upon a time, her safe place to land, the love of her life. "I know it's stupid," She says, her voice breaking, and Toby shakes his head.

"It's not stupid. You don't have to explain yourself, Spencer," He says gently. "I'll reach behind you and tie it, ok?" Toby asks, wanting to make sure it's alright with her. She nods, and so Toby does that exactly, gently reaching his arms around her, tying the strands of the gown together into a bow.

It was part she didn't want to be exposed, not to anyone if she could help it, knowing what was coming in the exam. And a part of her was afraid that there were bruises on her back, and she didn't want him to see, didn't want him to know and be upset.

"Thank you." He almost doesn't hear her say it, her voice is so soft, but he looks at her, leaning in hesitantly to gently press a kiss against her forehead.

"I love you, Spencer," Toby says softly. "I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to be with you this whole time. I...I'm sorry that I left you last night," He says. "I shouldn't have, I never should have stormed off, or this-"

Spencer stops him, shaking her head, "No, no, no," She says. "Don't, please don't. Don't say it, don't think it," She insists. "Just don't."

Toby stops talking, looking down but nodding. "Ok," He says softly. A knock sounds on the door, and both Aria and the nurse step in.

"Alright, Miss Hastings, we're going to bring you to the exam room now. Afterwards, you'll be able to shower and then go to a permanent room," The nurse says with a smile.

"I want to go home," Spencer insists, and the nurse gives her a sympathetic look.

"I understand, dear, but we can't discharge you unless it's into the care of your parents or a guardian that they approve. I'll help you into the wheelchair," She says, offering her arm. Toby steps forward, though.

"I can do it," He says. "Is ok if I pick you up?" Toby then asks Spencer.

"I can walk," She murmurs. "It's fine."

"I know you can, I just want to help you. Is it ok?" Toby repeats, not wanting to do anything she was uncomfortable with.

Spencer tries to get down from the table herself, wanting to make the statement that she could, but her body protests in pain and so she stops trying to move and nods, softly saying, "Yea."

With care, Toby gently lifts her from the exam table, one arm under her knees, the other around her back. Cradling her close to his body, he lifts her over to the wheelchair, setting her down in it. The nurse drapes a clean sheet over her lap, and Spencer grips the thin fabric in her hands, holding it down in place.

"Caleb took Hanna to your house, they'll bring back the clothes," Aria says, looking at a loss for what to do next. "Do...you want me to stay with you, or wait with Emily and Ezra?" She finally asks, as the nurse turns the chair towards the door.

"Could you try calling my mom again?" Spencer asks after a moment. "I...I want my mom."

She had no idea how her parents would react, what they would say. But during her parents separation, she and her mother had gotten closer. They didn't always see eye to eye, and they didn't have the most ideal relationship, but she was her mother.

"Of course," Aria says, nodding. "I'll keep calling."

Spencer nods once in thanks, and then the nurse moves the chair forward again. Toby grabs the bag with his stuff, standing by Spencer's side, as Aria leaves the room first. Ezra, Emily, and Tanner look towards the door as the nurse pushes the wheelchair out the door. They all look like they're going to get up, especially Emily and tanner, but the nurse stops them with a look, a slight shake of the head.

Spencer doesn't look at them, at anyone, as the nurse pushes the chair down the hall. She keeps her eyes on her lap, grateful when they reach the room.

Looking at this table though, her stomach churns again. There's stirrups, and she knows what those are for.

Toby again gently lifts her, moving her from the wheelchair to the examination table. "Alright, dear, you can lay back and I'm gonna set up a screen around your waist, so you don't have to see what's going on. The doctor will explain everything that she is going to do."

Spencer nods a little, Toby stepping closer and offering her hand. She takes it, gripping it tightly as though it's a lifeline, anchoring her.

Another knock sounds on the door, and this time the doctor steps in, Detective Tanner following her. Toby steps to the side, more in front of Spencer, as though trying to create a shield for her. "I might be sick again," she murmurs, bowing her head, the hand that's not holding onto his moving against her stomach as her head bows. "I don't want to get it all over your shoes, this time," she adds.

Toby lets out a small chuckle, reaching to gently cup her cheek with his free hand. "Don't worry about that. They can take this as slow as you want, ok? If you want her to stop, just say so."

Spencer nods a little, not saying anything until she asks, "And you won't leave?"

"Not unless you want me to, baby. I promise."

"Ok." Spencer says. "I just wanna get it over with, please."

"Before they start, Spencer, I wanted to see if we could talk while the doctor does the examination," Tanner says.

"Is that really necessary?" Toby cuts in, looking at her, his hands not leaving Spencer, trying to keep her calm.

"Sometimes, talking helps keep your mind off of what's happening. And it's important to take your statement while you still remember," Tanner explains.

"I don't want to remember," Spencer cuts in sharply. "I don't want to do this, I don't want to remember, and I don't want to be here. I want to go home," Spencer tells her, voice breaking. "But I'm doing this. Please, please get out. I don't want to talk to you about how I was raped while I get exposed and violated again," Spencer cries, leaning forward to bury her face against Toby, who wraps his arms around her.

It takes his breath away, when she says it. Raped.

"Spencer, I know this is awful," Tanner says gently. "But telling me what happened is important, please-"

"Stop," Toby says firmly, cutting her off, finding his voice again. "You're my boss, and I don't mean to be rude, but get out. Please leave. She doesn't want to talk right now, and I just want her wishes respected. She's been through enough."

Tanner looks at him for a moment, before she nods once. "Of course," she says. "I'll come back later."

Toby nods, and then has a thought. "Can I give this to you?" He asks, putting a hand to the gun on his hip. "I'm not leaving her side, and I won't need it here."

Tanner nods, "Yea. I'll lock it in the safe in the cruiser." Holding her hand out, Toby slips the holster off of his waistband, handing it out to her.

"Thanks," Toby says, his hand moving back to Spencer, resting on her back. Tanner nods, then leaves the room, and Doctor Ross steps forward.

"Whenever you're ready, Spencer," She says gently.

A minute passes, Spencer staying in the comfort of Toby's arms. She takes a deep, shaky breath, expecting to be greeted by the comforting smell of Toby, only the scrubs smell like hospital. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she then opens them and nods, laying back on the bed, putting her legs out straight. The doctor and nurse move the screen to her waist, so she can't see past it.

"Here you go, officer," The nurse says, and Toby turns to see a chair.

"Thank you," He nods, pulling it as close as possible to the exam table, sitting down.

"Spencer, we're going to help put your legs up in the stirrups, ok?" The doctor says.

"Yea," She mutters, turning to look at Toby.

Toby wraps his arm around her shoulders, letting her head rest against him instead of the table, and reaching with his other hand to take hers. "I'm here," He murmurs, leaning close to her ear.

"I don't want to know," Spencer blurts out. "What you're doing, I don't want to know. Please just do it, just get it over with."

The doctor looks at her for a moment, nodding. "Alright," She murmurs. "We just need you to sign here, consenting to the exam." She hands over a clipboard and a pen, and Toby lets go of her hand to hold to clipboard for her. Spencer shakily signs the line, and Toby hands it back, taking her hand again.

It takes an hour, for the doctor and nurse to complete everything that has to be done while she's on the table. Swabs, exams, poking, prodding, scraping under her fingernails, even photographs. Spencer doesn't say anything, the whole time. She just lays there, her eyes either shut or on Toby, her hand gripping his. He stays there the whole time, whispering in her ear, a constant reminder that he's there.

"Alright, Spencer," The doctor finally says. "Now we just need to take photos, of your injuries, and we'll have to draw some blood and do a cheek swab," She says, coming around the curtain so she can speak to her. "We'll take samples from you, too, if that's ok," She adds to Toby. "A cheek swab. We generally ask for samples from the significant other, so if there's any trace of your DNA, we can rule it out."

Toby nods, "Sure, anything I can do."

"Why do you want my blood?" Spencer asks, voice cracking.

"It's for a few reasons," The doctor says. "We want to be able to run a test, for HIV and other STIs. You'll need to come back in six months to be tested again," She tells her. "And we also need to test for existing pregnancy, if there's any chance that you are, so we can give you the morning after pill," The doctor says gently. "Your attacker did not use a condom, we were able to obtain DNA. But that also puts you at risk."

All the information is overwhelming, the words swirl through Spencer's head, words like HIV and STIs, testing, pregnancy, morning after pill, condom.

She squeezes her eyes shut, tears rolling down her face as she nods. "I...I had my period last week," Spencer tells her through the tears. "I'm not pregnant."

"Ok," The doctor says gently. "We'll get you the pill as soon as we're done here. There's two doses, we'll explain more later. I'm going to take a photograph of your face now, to document the injuries, ok? You can shut your eyes. I'll need you to move your arm," She says to Toby. He nods, moving his arm from under her, though he still holds her hand.

Spencer shuts her eyes, laying still as the doctor takes the photograph. They move the screen, and have her sit up so they can take more photographs. Of her stomach, to capture the bruises, of her hand, to get the puncture injury, of the other cuts.

Toby tries not to look when they photograph her stomach, chest, and back, because he knows she doesn't want him to see, but she also doesn't want him to leave, she holds onto his hand until the doctor asks him to let go and he can't help but see. Every cut, every bruise makes him grow angrier and angrier, sicker and sicker.

Once all the photos are done, Toby wraps his arms around her, lets her hide her face against him again, as the nurse draws her blood and then does the cheek swab. He doesn't let go of her as they do his cheek, and then finally it's over.

"Alright, Spencer," The doctor says. "You did wonderfully. I'm so sorry, about what happened, and that we had to do that. Jackie is going to bring you to your room now, and you can take a shower. She's also going to give you the pill. I'm sure your friend is back now, so you'll be able to get into comfortable clothes and relax."

Relax. What did that even mean? Spencer didn't know anymore, she hadn't for a long time. And it definitely wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She doesn't say anything, just nods at the doctor, and puts her arms around Toby's neck so he can lift her back to the wheelchair.

They step into the hall again, the nurse pushing the chair, Toby holding her hand at the side. When they step out, Hanna, Emily and Aria come forward. Hanna looks unsure of what to do, what to say, but she steps forward. "Hey, Spence," She says gently. "I uh, got these from your house. If you want anything else, we can go back, it's no problem. And I found some of your stuff," She adds to Toby. "So I grabbed that, too. Sweatpants," Hanna says.

"Thank you," Toby nods, taking the bag from her.

"And Aria was able to get in contact with your mom," Emily offers, wanting to be able to say something to make Spencer feel better.

"Yea," Aria nods, "She finally picked up. I...didn't tell her much, but she said she was going to get on the next flight. She's going to call back when she has one."

Spencer nods, whispers, "Thank you."

The nurse pushes forward, leaving the girls there as she heads to the elevator. "Once she's settled, if she's up for visitors, we'll come get you," She tells them, backing the chair inside.

Spencer looks up as the door clothes, catching them looking at her, looking lost, much like she feels. She didn't know what to say to them, what to do. They had trusted her, to lead them in figuring this whole thing out. Somehow, she'd become the leader of this fight against A. And she'd failed them. She'd failed. Again.